Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I work in healthcare IT. Recently, our organization made the decision to switch to a new Electronic Medical Record (EMR) system. I, along with dozens of colleagues, are responsible for building this new EMR to meet our organization’s needs. It’s a months-long process that involves lots of coordinated decision-making across the entire organization. The tentative go-live date for this new system is well over a year from now. Our leadership is telling the entire IT department that no PTO requests will be approved during this time. None of this has been communicated to the department en masse, but it has trickled down to managers, who then relay it to thei…

A reader writes: My department just called all us middle managers into a session to discuss our sickness “issue.” Some context: We live in a country where permanent employees of any level at any company all get unlimited sick days at full pay for a year (with a handful of caveats). Funnily enough, the sickness rate here isn’t particularly high: the average local worker takes three days off for sickness per year. Our company has been through a painful year-long layoff process, which coincided with record-breaking profits, the launch of completely new product lines, and somewhat absurd expectations. Oh, and team celebration budgets were cut in the meantime. Our department…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I went on a work trip and thought it went well. On the last day, I woke up to hear my senior teammate bashing me. We shared a wall, and it was paper-thin. I snore, and it’s something I’m embarrassed by, but there’s nothing I can do to control it. My teammate said he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep for the whole trip and accused me of doing it on purpose so I could transfer off the team. I don’t know where that came from — I’ve never indicated I wanted to leave. He also called me weird and nasty. I was shocked. Up until that point, he had been pleasant, engaging, and polite. My co…

A reader writes: This is hard for me to write. I’m a woman in my late forties with two grown children. I remember how stressful it was a decade ago, when my kids were little, to keep them out of earshot during conference calls on the rare days I could work from home. In my current role, I have dotted-line management responsibility for “Steve,” who has two children under four. We’re a fully remote company, and all meetings are on video with cameras on. Steve often has one of his children on his lap during both internal and external calls. His spouse works from home part-time, but he still seems to be the primary caregiver for at least part of the workday. I’m conflicted…

I’m off for the holiday. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My coworker calls me his “work wife” A couple of months ago, I joined a new team at work, in a role that is somewhat isolated from the rest of the group. So I was glad when another junior staff member who had joined the team a bit earlier reached out and showed me the ropes. As we grew more friendly, we also started sitting next to one another (our office has open seating with no assigned desks), and chatting occasionally during the day. Our remarks were always casual, and though they were not strictly work-related, we never discussed deep …

A reader writes: I work in higher education, in an area that is particularly under political fire. Due to anti-DEIA legislation, there have been people who have been targeted and fired due to anti-diversity advocacy. Some of the incidents have involved video that had been taken clandestinely and then edited for maximum damage. This has led to people losing their jobs and created a space of paranoia. I work in an environment that requires collaboration and collegiality in order to complete work. During a casual meeting with a friendly colleague, they mentioned that another colleague showed them a piece of tech that they were now carrying that allowed them to record the p…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker doesn’t want me to lift heavy boxes I work in a supply store that sells a variety of goods and also does returns for a large, very well-known company. One of my coworkers, a middle-aged man named “Carl,” has attempted to stop me (a woman in my 20s) from moving the closed return boxes every time we’ve worked together, warning me “they’re heavy.” (Our computer system ensures that nothing weighs over 40 pounds). I’ve told him that I don’t mind moving heavy boxes, but it doesn’t seem to register. Yesterday, when he told me not to take a full cart of boxes to the back room, I said, “You seem concerned about me …

A reader writes: My workload is mostly comprised of overflow tasks from other departments. I generally like this because it gives me a variety of things to do. I regularly deal with four managers. Three of them are good to work with. One, Alex, is … not. While the others always do a capacity check-in with me (asking if I have the bandwidth to take new work on), Alex regularly assigns me things without asking at all. It is not unusual that I will go on lunch and come back to a bunch of new tasks waiting for me with no discussion prior to assignment. The things Alex assigns me have exceptionally short deadlines, are often missing key pieces of information, and are often …

A reader writes: I have a coworker, Fred, who once told me the best work advice an older coworker gave him was “don’t be good at a job you don’t want.” In our three years working together, Fred has really shown he’s taken this advice to heart — unfortunately, at the expense of his team and myself. He often avoids doing entire parts of his job, leaving the rest of us to pick up the slack. Fred and I report to the same boss and work in a small R&D team at a larger company that makes widgets. The job generally entails designing, optimizing, and testing new widget designs and widget-making processes. Each team member, assigned by my boss, owns one part of the widget-mak…

A reader writes: I don’t like to do birthday stuff for my birthday. No, not even that. Or that. Or that. Or … It’s got nothing to do with the dreaded Getting Older; in fact, I don’t really know why. I just don’t want to. When my coworker went around collecting people’s birthdays, I gave mine to her, but specified that I didn’t want to have it celebrated. I was very clear about this. It wasn’t “Oh, you don’t need to make a fuss about me” or anything similarly wishy-washy. I said that I didn’t want anything to be done about it. For a couple of years this was fine, but then we got a new coworker, Pollyanna. One of our other coworkers, Kelly, also didn’t want to do birthd…

A reader writes: I’m having trouble figuring out how to navigate a situation with a coworker, John. When I first started at this company a year ago, John was the one who trained me, and he was courteous and communicative throughout the process. I wound up as casual work friends with him, but over the year I’ve seen him do and say things that have given me a very bad gut feeling. Most of these things involve his wife, Gladys, who works here in a different department but who eats lunch with us occasionally. Although John is usually thoughtful and respectful to me and his other coworkers, everything he says to Gladys is some sort of subtle put down or disagreement with wha…

I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I work in an office where I’m the only person who can do 75% of my job, but there’s a second person who can do essential functions. We have a policy that only one of the two of us is allowed to request advance time off at a given time (so one of us is always in, barring emergencies). I’m getting married in October, and in relation to that requested — and was approved for — two days before the wedding and the two weeks following. I don’t take much time off and have more than enough “in the bank” to cover that with some left over. It was approved immediately b…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is dating a teenager I work in retail and have younger coworkers rotate through on a regular basis. Think late teens to early twenties. I am significantly older than them and often offer general life advice or encouragement. One of my coworkers (22) can be a bit sporadic. He’s a hard worker and fairly cheerful person but on rare occasions he makes really stupid decisions without thinking of the consequences. Previous problems include gambling more than he should have, not showing up for work, and slashing his roommate’s tires after an argument. I’m aware that this makes him sound like a nightmare but it is…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is in a cult and it’s affecting my work A new junior staff person joined my department about a year ago. About six months in, they asked if they could start working remotely because because they had been asked to help start a new church across the country. This employee is quite young and this is their first job after college. They were initially very dedicated to their work, but since moving, they have dropped the ball on multiple projects, frequently ask for time off and don’t make up their hours, and have just generally been performing poorly. I was starting to think they had just checked out and weren’…

A reader writes: I have a coworker who is making me do her work, I asked my boss for help but I feel like he’s being really laissez faire about the whole thing. What should I do? How should I set boundaries with her, healthily? I work for a small research lab, and I’m rather new (hired four months ago). I have a coworker, Amanda, who doesn’t do her job. Examples include: missing a meeting because she was napping, coming into work only to use the printer/computer to plan a surprise party for her husband, spending “all day” replying to two emails, and most egregiously having her friend take a data analysis assessment for her when she was hired. She apparently has a histor…

A reader writes: My coworker – who is not my boss – is trying to micromanage my projects, and I am having difficulty responding effectively. About six months ago, I was appointed to a leadership position for a well-known nonprofit in my area of expertise. I’ve generally enjoyed the work and feel well-supported, with the exception of one coworker, Linda. Linda is about 10-15 years older than I am, though I have more professional expertise and public-facing engagement in this field. She is in a different department than I am, but she acts as though she thinks I report to her, instead of to my actual boss (who is also her boss) and she constantly wants updates on my proje…

A reader writes: I am a senior project manager in a nonprofit. Over the summer, I been working on a series of focus groups and was assigned Lola as an intern. Our office aims to provide meaningful training to our interns, as nearly 80% of them are hired after their internships, so I assigned Lola to write one of the focus group reports. She was present at the focus group itself and was given the audio recording and transcript, plus a report template with guiding questions in order to complete the assignment. I had a previous experience with an intern producing reports with AI, which required tons of rework. So when I first assigned this to Lola, I explained that AI is n…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in the five-person office of a large pre-school. My colleague, Amy, keeps a five-gallon fish tank near her desk with between two and four fish in it. The tank is in full view of the office door and the lobby beyond. The fish are important to the school; when our young students are overwhelmed and need to calm down, the office fish are often their first stop with their teachers, and “saying hi” is often enough to stop a crying jag. The kids love watching the brightly colored fish, who all have fun names, and Amy loves them, too. She takes great care of the fish, arranging feedin…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2018. A reader writes: I have a problem with a coworker and have been hesitant to send this to you as it seems petty but it has been bugging me for awhile. It started as a pet peeve but has moved into something bigger the more she does it. This coworker, I’ll call her Eleanor, demands you say “please” whenever someone asks her to do anything work related. Some examples would be as follows: “Eleanor, can you email me those forecasts for next quarter so I can get this project to our boss?” “Only if yo…

A reader writes: I’m about six months into a job and I’m having an issue with someone on my team, Sally. She is very lovely, kind, and a team player. Our roles are similar, except I am part-time and she is full-time. She’s been in this job for almost 20 years and I think she thinks I’m much more green than I am. While I’m new to my role, I’ve done very similar, and often much more complex, versions of this role at other organizations. Our team’s projects are similar and we help each other as needed, but at the end of the day they are fully owned by each team member. Sally seems to think there is one right way to do things and only she knows what it is. She seems incapab…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How to work with a jerk who raises his voice, when “that’s just how he is” I work with Fergus, a senior engineer who has a reputation for being “crotchety,” a term I am starting to push back on because it seems to explain away his unprofessional behavior as a personality quirk or something to be expected because of his age. I’m trying to figure out exactly where to draw the line in order for me and my team to consistently push back against his behavior. On our last call, Fergus joined the zoom and immediately declared his team was not involved in th…

A reader writes: I was hired about six months ago at a prestigious organization in my field. My coworker, Fred, started at the same time in a similar position. We work closely and we get along well, for the most part. I consider him something of a friend — or, at least, I felt that way until recently. We have been working together on a big report that needs to get done in the next few months. Last week, I had been working on other projects and logged back our the shared file to begin work again. We were sitting together and as I was logging in, he said (unprompted) that he had been hard at work on the report and updated and added information to a key section. I noticed …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in a department of nine people. We all get along well, but I’m struggling with how to handle my frustrations with my colleague, Marrgo. Margo is possibly the most well-intentioned person I’ve ever met, but she has the infuriating habit of bringing every conversation back to herself to explain how she understands or has been through the same thing. This week, the transmission in my car died. When I was lamenting to the group that I was now facing the financial hardship of either repairing it or buying a new car, Margo told me, “I get it. I just had to buy brand new tires for my…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker overheard me complaining about them I have a new-ish colleague, Jaime, who I feel hasn’t really been pulling their weight. I was talking to someone else in the office about a project we’re working on and how I thought Jaime would be leading the project but that they were pushing all of the work onto other people when the project is what Jaime was hired for. I know my tone was very negative about Jaime during the conversation. Well, I didn’t realize Jaime was in the office that day and am pretty sure they overheard the conversation. I ran into Jaime later that day and they gave me a sad look, but did not sa…