Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is a community organizing issue, but it is ultimately about working closely with someone where there’s conflict, and one where I think a professional approach might be most useful. I (they/them) am a leader in a social justice-oriented community organization along with someone I’ll call Paul (he/they). We have the same type of leadership position, and we’re both quite active so we communicate daily and are in meetings at least once a week. We’ve been in conflict for four months, since I told Paul that the way Paul interrupts, criticizes, corrects, scolds, and dismisses me and ot…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: What are your thoughts and the etiquette around getting drinks with coworkers when you’re in leadership position? I’m a female, on a younger side, in a leadership role at a small-to-medium size organization. We recently had a company event, after which 5–10 people went out for drinks and stayed for a couple of hours. It was just great to see some colleagues that are often in different locations, and most of them do not report to me. A while later, an exec mentioned that he thought it was inappropriate to go out drinking with subordinates. I understand that colleagues may not always …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m the head of HR for my small(ish) international company. I’m a mixed-race woman and a mom. We have a variety of private Slack channels, including channels for parents, women, people of color, etc. Our people of color channel is a relatively new addition started by an employee who wanted a safe space for folks who identify as non-white. I was explicitly excluded from the channel because I am HR and the people in that channel wanted it to be a safe space to talk about the issues they face. As a mixed-race person, I felt the sting of exclusion, but as a person in leadership totally u…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Should people be fired for big, public mistakes? I’m curious about your thoughts on Major League Baseball’s recent blunder. They released a new series of hats that have the logo imposed on top of the team location. For the Texas Rangers, they did not think through the word they would create. Tetas is a slang word for breasts in Spanish. If you were managing a team that let this slip through, how would you handle it? Would people be fired for something like this? I’m not a fan of firing people for single mistakes in their work (conduct is in a diff…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should we give everyone the day after the Super Bowl off? I live in Chiefs territory and run a small business. My colleagues have requested that I close the office the day after the Super Bowl. I’m not inclined to grant this request, as our leave policies are very generous. I think everyone has plenty of time to take off if they choose. How common are Super Bowl office closures? Not very common. It’s certainly a nice thing if you want to do it, but it’s perfectly reasonable to expect people to use PTO if they want the day off. Related: is my empl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently had to fire a manager for a belligerent, profanity-laden outburst during a board meeting. He has not been doing his job and has been suspected to be drinking or have been drunk while working (although no proof). To further complicate things, his manager has not done his job by documenting the problems and is now pushing me to provide some sort of severance for good will. However, I feel we have a termination with cause for insubordination. What is your suggestion on whether we need to pay severance in this instance? He is talking to a lawyer regarding a possible hostile wor…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you get fired for (even really bad) behavior at a football game? I’m a big football fan and a feminist and civil liberties advocate. So I am really struggling with the question of a fan at the Eagles-Green Bay Wild Card game. He is on someone’s cell phone video (which of course was posted on social media) yelling misogynistic insults at a woman from the opposing fan base. The team banned him from coming to future games, a sanction I support (this was beyond the usual jawboning at high-stakes games). But people online also tracked down where …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just saw the below post on LinkedIn, and I thought I’d send it along and get your thoughts on this strategy. After years of reading your blog, it makes me cringe so much. (Why would you write someone a reference if you weren’t their manager? Why would you pester every person at every interview stage with this letter? What if it’s not helpful information for them? Etc.) But everyone in the comments was praising this, saying how it’s so actionable and helpful and “gold,” which I found perplexing. Curious to hear your take on these kinds of strategies, especially as these sort of “advi…

I’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Should you hire employees to babysit? I help supervise a group of about 20 student workers at a college. Most of them know I have a one-year-old and some of them really love babies (I sometimes bring him by during my non-work hours briefly to make their day). I’ve had at least two workers tell me they’d love to babysit. They’re good responsible workers, but I’ve been uncertain as to the advisability of that and haven’t followed up on their offers. This is likely to come up again as new students come in and learn I have a child. My gut says that babys…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you put fan fiction on your resume? I saw someone online saying that they write fan fiction at Ao3 and so on their resume they put “independent fiction writer” or “independent online publishing project” without explaining what they write or that it’s at Ao3. They say that if you’re asked about it in an interview, you can answer with, “I prefer to keep my personal creative work separate from my professional identity, but I’ve used it as a way to improve my writing, editing, and consistency over time.” This seems like a really bad idea to me, but is it? Yes, it’s a bad idea. If you prefer to keep your personal cr…

A reader writes: Should you always call to let a candidate know that they won’t be getting a job offer? Here’s the context: I’ve gotten calls and emails letting me know when I wasn’t accepted for a position. And my colleagues and I all agree that we hate getting phone calls. It’s awkward! If you don’t answer the phone, you’re not going to get a voicemail telling you you didn’t get the job, you’ll get a voicemail asking you to call back. Which means you’ll get excited thinking you’re getting a job offer! And then you’re live on the phone with a hiring manager trying to manage an awkward conversation. I’ve taken to emailing rejected candidates rather than calling, for th…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: As resume advice continues to evolve with the times (e.g., not including your street address on your resume), I’m wondering how important the location of each job is. Do employers really care if I worked in San Francisco, California, or in Dayton, Ohio? Would it be better to include in-person, hybrid, or remote? Yes, you should still list the city and state of each employer. Including the employer’s location helps verify that those companies actually exist. That doesn’t matter so much when the company is nationally known or when all your employers are local to the area you’re applyi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How do I balance work and socializing at hybrid team meetings? I (a young-looking woman) lead a team of about 15, composed of 3-4 smaller sub-teams that collaborate on various parts of the project. About half the team work remotely; a quarter at Site A, including my deputy and me; and a quarter at Site B. Team members range from junior to mid-career, heavy on junior. We have at least one meeting per project topic area per week for tracking progress and working through more complex issues together. I have a hard time closing down the first “social” …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How do I balance work and socializing at hybrid team meetings? I (a young-looking woman) lead a team of about 15, composed of 3-4 smaller sub-teams that collaborate on various parts of the project. About half the team work remotely; a quarter at Site A, including my deputy and me; and a quarter at Site B. Team members range from junior to mid-career, heavy on junior. We have at least one meeting per project topic area per week for tracking progress and working through more complex issues together. I have a hard time closing down the first “social” …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How much should I expect to hang out with my coworker on a week-long work trip? I have an upcoming work trip that I’m feeling a little anxious about, mostly because I’m unsure how to handle the social side of things. It’s a week-long trip with just one coworker. They seem lovely, but we haven’t worked closely together before. I’ve traveled with larger groups in the past, and in those situations the unspoken norm seemed to be: do dinner together at least once or twice, and apart from that, it’s okay to stay in or go out on your own if you prefer. After all, there are others in the group they can spend time with if they…

In addition to the new “sagas” tag (for letters with multiple updates, twists, and turns), we now have the following tags as well: AAM classics – a tag for posts that are still frequently discussed years later. It includes the new hire who built a blanket fort in her office, the new boss who was a ghosted ex from years before, the coworker who wanted everyone to call her boyfriend her “master,” the spicy food thief, and many more. Favorites – some of my favorite posts over the years. Worst Boss of the Year Nominee – now every finalist for Worst Boss of the Year has been tagged and you can read about these degenerates all in one place. These are tags, not categories, …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Dealing with a spider phobia on work calls I work from home 100% of the time. I also am deeply afraid of spiders (as well as most creatures with six or more legs). I normally do not encounter creatures with six or more legs due to living in a big city, but unfortunately I still get the occasional unwanted visitor. I’ve worked very hard over the years on getting my fear reactions under control, but if I get surprised and the spider is within close range, I often can’t help but let out a short scream or yell. Thankfully this has only happened once while on a call, and it was an informal call with one of my coworker budd…

You’d like to think you can trust the people you work around, but in reality office thefts are surprisingly common. From the coworker who stole someone’s spicy food and got sick (and the epic update), to the manager who stole someone’s family heirloom, to the boss who stole an employee’s iPad, to the boss who kept stealing lunches, office thieving happens more than you’d expect. And some of the thefts are shockingly petty: • “I have a Bath and Body eucalyptus (mini) hand sanitizer next to my computer. Turns out someone has used it up, then refilled it with water so it wouldn’t look like it was used. It costs a buck.” • “I had someone steal my pyrex dish once. They dum…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. First, a housekeeping note: Comments will be turned off for a while on Friday while the site moves to a new server. They’ll be turned back on once it’s complete. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Supervisor is flirting with my wife I am a woman, 41 years old, who has been married to my wife for a year. We work together in different departments. She had a thing with one of her male supervisors before me, and he has become an issue. I’ve seen things that have made me question their relationship. In the beginning, when he found out about her and me, he began being nasty with me at wor…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My very supportive boss is leaving, and I blame his partner I currently have an incredibly supportive boss but he plans to leave his role soon because his long-term partner lives in a different region of the country and refuses to move nearer to where he lives even though they work remotely. I’m legally disabled and worried that whoever takes over once he lives will be far less accommodating in regards to my disability, especially considering that I’ve had to pivot to a lower caliber field after a devastating job loss that I’ve still not gotten ove…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is swiping on a coworker on a dating app grounds for an HR meeting? Asking for a friend: They absent-mindedly swiped on a coworker in a dating app (whom they asked out once two years earlier). Said coworker was uncomfortable with that and went to HR, and they all had a sit-down about leaving said coworker alone. I am all for not harassing people you work with romantically, but I am also conflicted — is swiping right on a coworker on Bumble or Tinder grounds for an HR intervention? They are both on a dating app, after all — a place where you are op…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Talking to an employee about body odor I manage a large department with several sub-departments. I have been working myself up to addressing an issue for quite some time, because it is a sensitive issue that I don’t know how to handle without fallout: personal hygiene. One of the staff members who has been with me for several years has been showing up to work for the past year with an odor that is less than pleasant. This was not an issue previously, and I attribute it to becoming more comfortable in the environment and slipping into a pattern of l…

A reader writes: I am a senior manager on a team that does a back office function (think HR, finance, marketing). A seasoned manager, Rachael, reports to me and has a handful of staff members reporting to her. Our team is hybrid, requiring two in-office days, although we grant flexibility for temporary medical/childcare/life issues that come up. The operations we support are all in-office. Rachael recently told us that she is trying to move out of state and asked to work fully remote. She was candid about this potential move when she was hired several years ago and in subsequent conversations. Rachael is very experienced and previously held my position earlier in her ca…

Share your holiday angst or joy in this special Thanksgiving eve non-work open thread. The post Thanksgiving eve open thread appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any discussion you’d like to have with other readers (work or non-work or possibly even entirely dessert-focused if that’s your bag). Happy Thanksgiving! The post Thanksgiving free-for-all – November 27, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article