Performance Tracking and Feedback
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Most office routines aren’t exactly thrilling: you answer emails, survive meetings that could have been a Slack message, and silently curse your coworker for not saving the spreadsheet you need on the shared drive. But some offices have embraced the weird and wonderful, establishing traditions that range from hilarious to outright bizarre. At Slate today, I shared 15 of the greatest work traditions I’ve heard about from readers. (And it’s probably significant that all of these traditions appear to have developed organically! None of these stem from organized team-building or “mandatory fun.”) You can read it here. The post the 15 greatest office traditions you’ve never…
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Over the years, readers have submitted a tremendous number of amusing stories about holidays at work, and since we’re heading into the holidays we must revisit them. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The banana bread I managed a department of about 15 people. One lady was extremely proud (and vocal) regarding her banana bread. Once, I joined the conversation and mentioned my mother also had a wonderful recipe my family loves. I will spare you the details, but within a day or so, I found myself embroiled in Bananagate as the Manager Who Cruelly Insisted Her Recipe Was Better. The only way to settle it was a bake-off, which I tried mightily to nix (my staff was an unhappy…
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In honor of Halloween tomorrow, here are eight of my favorite stories about Halloween at work that have been shared here over the years. 1. The costume tradition For close to 15 years now, dressing up as one of your coworkers has been a Halloween tradition where I work. It actually started when someone came dressed as me the first year. A year later, I waited until I saw what a coworker was wearing that day, got a co-conspirator to bring a matching outfit, and sat down next to them. People have worn the CEO’s face printed out as a mask. Nobody’s ever gotten offended by it, it’s just a strange tradition now. I think it has more to do with the culture and the intent than …
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A couple of years ago, someone shared what I consider to be the best holiday date story of all time, and it must be shared here again. Enjoy: When I was fresh out of college, a dude in my social circle invited me to his fancy work Christmas party. He was a teacher, so I’d kind of assumed I was there as friend to act as a buffer between well-intentioned female colleagues who wanted to set him up with one another, with their daughters, etc. I was wrong! This invitation to a work Christmas party was meant to be the first date of a magical relationship between two people destined to be together. Why a magical relationship? When I opened the door, he said he’d hope we’d have …
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about malicious compliance — times when someone purposely exposed the absurdity of a rule by doing exactly what they were told to do. Here are 14 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The requisitions I worked for a fairly large, regional bank that covered about three states with nearly 9,000 employees. The CFO decided that everyone was wasting money on frivolous things like office supplies. He mandated that ALL requisitions for any supplies must come through him. ALL OF THEM. This of course held up the process so even getting a needed pen could take over a month. Some of the mana…
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It’s more holiday stories! Tradition dictates that as we head into the holiday season, we must revisit holiday stories previously shared by readers. Here are some favorites. 1. The rare books department I’ve changed up a couple of details from this being super recognizable, but I used to work in a rare books department in a library. People who work in rare books tend to have pretty esoteric passions that lead them there, and these were always on full display at said party. My favorite selections from over the years: – The brand new head of the department wanted to show off a bit at his first Christmas party, give a speech… and sing “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with his 2…
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As we head into the holidays, we must solemnly reflect back on the stories shared here over the years about holidays at work. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The chili cook-off I worked for a nonprofit, and every year there was a few months long period where every department would do some kind of fundraiser for the nonprofit. My department was famous for a lunchtime chili cook-off that included, of course, voting for a winner. It was my first year there, and my boss kept talking about how popular the chili cook-off was. We were advised we needed to quadruple our normal recipe to have enough for everyone. One coworker launched in right away with BIG talk about her rec…
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A reader writes: The company I work for is a small father-and-son-owned business with 20 employees. This summer, our administrative assistant, Amy (age 50), broke her hand and required surgery. The injury occurred a week before a previously scheduled vacation. During her absence (one week and three days), the father (Bill) met a 21-year-old woman, Rose, at a car wash and offered her an administrative position, even though no position was open at the time. Upon returning from leave, Amy found Rose seated at her desk and was instructed to train her to perform her job duties. Amy’s own role was changed to scanning and organizing the backlog of company files, which she was …
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We recently talked about times AI got it really wrong, and here are 20 of the most ridiculous stories you shared. 1. The fake initiative Our execs usually send out a hype email right before the annual employee morale survey, emphasizing wins from the past year, basically trying to put people in a positive frame of mind. Last year’s included the announcement of a major new program we knew employees really wanted. But it was a bit surprising, because it fell in an area my team was responsible for, and we were out of the loop, despite advocating strenuously for this over the years. So I went to the exec to a) convey enthusiasm for his newfound dedication to launching this…
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about jerks getting their comeuppance, and here are eight of the most satisfying stories you shared. 1. The thief At an old job, I was continually denied raises by the bully finance director (who somehow was always able to find money for his own raises.) He oversaw all purchases for the business’s renovation, which included lots of furniture, TVs, tech stuff, etc. All expensive stuff. He was one of many jerks and I eventually moved on, but I heard from a coworker a couple years later that he was fired one day when an expensive TV that went missing from storage was suddenly discove…
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about jerks getting their comeuppance, and here are eight of the most satisfying stories you shared. 1. The thief At an old job, I was continually denied raises by the bully finance director (who somehow was always able to find money for his own raises.) He oversaw all purchases for the business’s renovation, which included lots of furniture, TVs, tech stuff, etc. All expensive stuff. He was one of many jerks and I eventually moved on, but I heard from a coworker a couple years later that he was fired one day when an expensive TV that went missing from storage was suddenly discove…
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Offering a job to multiple people and giving it to the first one who accepts Decades ago, in the early 2000s, my friend was offered an assistant professor position at a university. She was told that the same job was being offered to several other candidates too, and that only the first person to accept the offer would be hired. Presumably as soon as one person accepted, the other offers would be withdrawn. I have never seen this practice anywhere else. This makes me curious: is this legal? (We are in the U.S.) What do you think of employers doing t…
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Offering a job to multiple people and giving it to the first one who accepts Decades ago, in the early 2000s, my friend was offered an assistant professor position at a university. She was told that the same job was being offered to several other candidates too, and that only the first person to accept the offer would be hired. Presumably as soon as one person accepted, the other offers would be withdrawn. I have never seen this practice anywhere else. This makes me curious: is this legal? (We are in the U.S.) What do you think of employers doing t…
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A reader writes: Could we do an open thread for federal employees and federal contractors about the possible government shutdown? I wasn’t working in government for the last one and don’t really know what to expect. Yes indeed. People impacted by the last shutdown, what advice do you have for people affected by this one? And people affected by this one, ask and share away. The posts from the shutdowns in 2018 and 2019 might also be helpful, and here’s a piece from 2013 by a commenter about what not to say to friends who had been furloughed by the government shut-down then. The post the government shutdown: an open thread for federal employees and contractors appeared …
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’ve been doing some remote volunteer grant writing as part of a long-term plan to break out of my current job family (also nonprofit-centric). The nonprofit I’m currently working with is only a few years old, in another state, and very small, with no paid staff. My main contact is the executive director, Helena. The deadline for the biggest grant of the year is tonight. I’ve finished the actual writing and have all the required documents, except the FY25 budget. We can’t submit if any fields are empty. I’ve requested the budget a few times; each time, Helena has responded with FY24’…
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A reader writes: I was the original poster who wrote about the hometown hero American Idol contestant. Every time it has been posted, lots of people guess who it was or hope it was their favorite. And I have kind of wanted to let everyone believe it was their guy. But also, maybe the actual guy and his family should get the accolades. It was Christmas 2008 at Children’s Hospital Colorado, and it was Ace Young and his family. As I said, I had never watched the show but knew of him. But he had serious charisma. And distractingly bright blue eyes. I still remember how many grown adults giggled and blushed. The post the identify of the hometown hero is revealed appear…
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Last week we talked about office thefts, and here are some of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The bike My coworker and I both biked to work fairly often. One day, my coworker didn’t bike but I did. My coworker left the office before I did and stole my bike, because he forgot he didn’t bike and just grabbed a bike and left. The funniest part is that said coworker is nearly a foot taller than me, so his bike is much larger, and also a different color. He made it all the way home before realizing that (1) there was already a bike in his home, (2) he had car keys in his pocket, and (3) the bike he had was not his, it was mine. (He brought it back the next day, and apolo…
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Last week we talked about ridiculous examples of micromanagement, and here are 16 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The insufficiently festive cookies My boss decided we all should make cookies and do a cookie swap for Christmas. The cookies needed to be sufficiently festive and colorful, however. She brought in a cookbook with pictures of cookies on the front to show types would pass muster. She specifically pointed out some powdered sugar covered chocolate cookies as being not colorful, but they would be allowed because a beloved relative of hers used to make them during the holidays. I happened to like those cookies and they were easy to make, so I brought them.…
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Last week we talked about the smallest amount of power you’ve ever seen someone abuse, and here are 18 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The pizza revenge The office assistant asked me what pizza I wanted when she was ordering for an event. I told her specifically I liked the one they had gotten the week before and described it. She never ordered that pizza again. 2. The very secure kitchen I learned early on in a new job that ONE person other than security and the C-suite had the key to the boardroom. I also learned that somehow everyone in my department had pissed off the key holder, and I was now the designated person to bow down and request the key. One night…
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about out-of-touch executives. Here are 12 of the most outrageous stories you shared. (Also, if you’ve never wanted to eat the rich before, warning that you might after reading these stories.) 1. The renovation The head of the org I work for has been complaining about his home renovations for months. I get it, he had to move out of his house and … (checks notes) into the *other* property he owns. This has been happening while several employees are dealing with being illegally ousted from their rentals due to landlords not legally following the lead abatement process. But yes, you…
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Earlier this month we talked about work restaurant meals gone wrong, and here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The mistaken identity I (F) was in my mid-30s and traveling to work with a client. He had sent up a dinner that should have included five or six of us on the project. Everyone backed out except me, which is how I found myself at a cozy, fireside table for two at a dark but excellent Boston restaurant, drinking a glass of champagne. (I was in my bubbles era…) And who should happen to be dining there but his wife’s cousin, who barged up to the table wanting to know why he was sipping bubbly with me rather than hanging out at home with his extremely pr…
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Earlier this month, we talked about corporate gifts that went terribly wrong. Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared (and 15 more about coming next week — apparently there are a lot of bad company gifts out there). 1. The playing cards One Christmas, we were all handed packs of playing cards with the company logo … not great but not terrible. Everyone can use a deck of cards right? The we opened them. Instead of the normal hearts/spades/numbers etc., the cards had our “company values” printed on them. They were custom made for a special game, like Go Fish. You were supposed to build “sets” of matching values. Like “Go Fish,” you were supposed to ask, for example…
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about weird hills to die on — people who became so strongly committed to a minor fight that they lost all sight of logic and decorum — and here are 10 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The newsletter Our Fortune 500 company hosted a weekend company-wide softball tourney, which was won by a team led by a guy known around the office as Hothead. Monday morning arrives and the company-wide daily email goes out with important company announcements. One of the items included was the results of the previous weekend’s softball tourney. Hothead was livid about the fact that it include…
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This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week, we talked about carpooling for work, and here are eight of my favorite stories you shared — some heartwarming, some not. 1. The kazoo music I fondly think of the coworker who, when I offered her the aux cable to play music off her device, looked hesitant and then said, “Look, I need to warn you, there’s going to be a lot more kazoo music then you’d expect.” 2. The trick I carpooled once with a coworker who lived in my neighborhood. I didn’t even realize he lived near me until he approached me one day and asked if I would like to carpool. Gas was hideously expensive, so I thought why not.…
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It’s 12 more holiday stories! 1. The elves Our office did Elf on a Shelf last year to determine who worked the holidays and who didn’t. The office had always closed for a week at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year with pay but the brass had decided they wanted people working in office during the holidays. Instead of telling us months in advance so we could mitigate our plans and come up with a fair way to distribute work and time off, they told us the week after Thanksgiving and thought it would be fun to get a bunch of those creepy Elf on a Shelf things, put them in every department and have the “Elf” decide who works. Every morning we’d get a company wide email fr…
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