Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s mid-year updates season! If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now? (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.) Your update doesn’t have to be positive or big to be worth submitting. We want to hear them all, even if you don’t think yours is that interesting. And if there’s anyone you especially want to hear an update from, mention it here and I’ll reach out to those people directly. The post where are you now? (a call for updates) appeared first on Ask a Manager. View th…

You’d like to think you can trust the people you work around, but in reality office thefts are surprisingly common. From the coworker who stole someone’s spicy food and got sick (and the epic update), to the manager who stole someone’s family heirloom, to the boss who stole an employee’s iPad, to the boss who kept stealing lunches, office thieving happens more than you’d expect. And some of the thefts are shockingly petty: • “I have a Bath and Body eucalyptus (mini) hand sanitizer next to my computer. Turns out someone has used it up, then refilled it with water so it wouldn’t look like it was used. It costs a buck.” • “I had someone steal my pyrex dish once. They dum…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Junior staff ask me for recommendations I can’t give without reservations I work with a number of support positions filled mostly by recent grads. Although they support my role, they are part of a different company and I have no supervisory role over them. A high percentage of them eventually want to go back to school to do my job and I get asked to fill out recommendation forms a few times a year. Sometimes this is an amazing part of my job — I get to pay forward all the help that I received. But I’m struggling with what to do when my opinion of someone’s work isn’t so glowing. To not mince words, the support staff s…

A reader writes: I am the HR person for a small nonprofit which offers many different services to the public. We have one team in particular which has always been difficult to manage and has not really gotten along with any manager they have had. We’ve most recently brought in a new manager for this team who does tend to do things quite differently than any of the other managers (current or former). Let’s call her Barbara. Barbara is a go-getter with a strong personality and is very focused on making rapid changes to many of the current or older practices and processes which she feels will better serve the public. Upper management is generally supportive of these change…

Remember the letter-writer whose breastfeeding coworker wouldn’t stop talking about her boobs? Here’s the update. It has been about a year since I wrote in. While the talk about breastfeeding specifically decreased about eight months in, my coworker’s seemingly endless need for attention and validation was unceasing. It got to the point where only about three people in the office were engaging with her at all unless they absolutely had to. She then shifted tactics, approaching people with questions that were superficially work related, then immediately re-centering the conversation to either boast about her chosen path to martyrdom, garner excessive praise for her child’…

A reader writes: I am looking for some advice on how to deal with my manager. I have worked in this organization for about three years, and my manager, Mark, started a few months before me. Out of all of the managers I’ve ever had, he is by far the kindest and most flexible (he’s very hands-off). After a few months, I realized he is not great at his job. Over the past three years, more and more of his job responsibilities have been put onto my plate. I am supposed to be in a more technical role, but I end up dedicating a lot of my time to managing, due to him … not managing. Some examples: * Interns: We have a small team of interns — 6-10 in any given year. When I firs…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My manager gets anxious about how I manage my time even though I never miss deadlines My supervisor often assigns me projects well in advance of when they’re due. The problem is, she quickly gets anxious after assigning me work and mentions it repeatedly and hovers around my desk to check my progress on it. She doesn’t ask about it; she just watches what I’m doing and gets increasingly irritated and anxious if I’m not dropping everything to do the task she assigned. For example, at this beginning of this week she assigned me a project of the sort I’ve completed many times in the past. I know exactly how long it takes …

A reader writes: I have a coworker, Fred, who once told me the best work advice an older coworker gave him was “don’t be good at a job you don’t want.” In our three years working together, Fred has really shown he’s taken this advice to heart — unfortunately, at the expense of his team and myself. He often avoids doing entire parts of his job, leaving the rest of us to pick up the slack. Fred and I report to the same boss and work in a small R&D team at a larger company that makes widgets. The job generally entails designing, optimizing, and testing new widget designs and widget-making processes. Each team member, assigned by my boss, owns one part of the widget-mak…

A reader writes: I’m managing a department of eight people and two of them won’t speak to each other. I’m new to my position and it took me a couple of months to figure out that they weren’t talking. They literally won’t speak to each other. If we have a meeting, they won’t participate if the other person is in the room, unless I address a question directly to one of them. I’ve been managing them for three months, but from what I can gather it’s been like this for at least two years. There seem to be a couple of other people in the department who are on one person’s side or the other, and it is affecting the department’s work. Everyone who has been with the company fo…

A reader writes: A couple of weeks ago, I gave my employee, Rita, negative feedback on her behavior. It wasn’t what she was saying; it was how she was saying it. She was speaking rapidly and in a panicked but unwarranted manner. She was high-strung and scattered, and I felt interrogated. She accepted my feedback professionally, apologized, and showed subsequent improvement. Two days ago, a coworker texted me a link to a blog about people with disabilities and asked, “This you?” Rita has a regular column on a blog about her disability, ADHD. I knew she had an ADA accommodation, but that’s all. She wrote her latest column about our interaction. She accurately described e…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Candidate lied to us in their interview I was recently involved in interviews for a promotion in my department. We interviewed three internal candidates, so we were familiar with each candidate’s work. The interview team consisted the hiring manager (Fran), Fran’s boss (Tom), and me. I report to Fran, as would the newly promoted employee. One of the candidates blatantly lied about their past performance. For example, they said that they are in regular contact with an important client, but Tom knows that is not the case. Additionally, this employee’s work is lower quality than we would expect from the successful candi…

A reader writes: We received and validated some complaints about language used by a member of my team — off-color jokes, insensitive comments, etc. I agreed with HR that this did not rise to the level of a formal warning, but we would have a documented sit-down with the associate to explain it wasn’t acceptable and should not happen again, and further instances would have escalating consequences. Before this, the employee was a high performer without issues. HR scheduled the meeting on Friday for the following Monday with a very generic subject line and said that she wished to discuss “communication” and included my manager in the invite as a courtesy (she is aware of t…

A reader writes: I am interviewing for two positions currently. So far I’ve interviewed six people and not one has sent any kind of follow-up or thank-you note. I can tell from the virtual meeting invite that they all have my email address, so that’s not the reason. I polled some friends and got a split on if these notes are even required nowadays. I know you always suggest writing a strong thank-you note to improve your candidacy, but honestly I’d be thrilled with even a one-line acknowledgement. With the candidates all being comparable, any candidate sending me a note is certainly going to rank higher for me. Am I being old-fashioned with this? I answer this question …

A reader writes: I work at a K-12 school in a teacher-leader role. This means I do not have my own classes nor do I have management powers over any staff. Our school hires a substitute teacher to come to the building every day on the chance that one teacher is going to be unexpectedly absent. Our staff attendance has become much worse over the last five years, so this is a worthwhile bet on the part of the school. Her job is tough in that she substitutes for classes with last-minute notice, and some days — though not often — she sits around all day with nothing to do because all teachers were present that day. We also hire additional subs on a day-to-day basis when we kn…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee is afraid to fly I work on a small marketing team and have one direct report. A couple of times a year, our team is required to attend industry conferences to staff a booth. These events typically require air travel and are part of the job expectations, outlined in the job description. We rotate travel assignments so the same people aren’t always on the road. Earlier this year, after some high-profile plane incidents, my employee disclosed that she has a fear of flying and said she wouldn’t be able to attend an upcoming conference. In that case, it was fine — we had plenty of coverage. My question is: if thi…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Dearly Departed, by Elinor Lipman. After the unexpected death of her mother, single mom returns to her small hometown and realized life there was different than she’d previously understood. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – May 17-18, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – May 16, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Am I obligated to use my personal network for my job? I work for a nonprofit in a general admin role that involves some development as well (we’re very small, so it’s kind of all-hands-on-deck). From the start, I have been urged by the executive director (my direct boss) to send our fundraising appeals to my own friends and family, and he’s very pointedly asked me about any wealthy people/possible donors I might know. I mostly managed to wiggle out of that one by making it clear that I don’t have any wealthy friends. However, as we move into our big fundraising season I’m being asked to use my personal network to procu…

Remember the letter-writer wondering how long should it take for HR to tell her if her accommodation request would be granted? Here’s the update. I wrote you a couple of weeks ago wanting to know how long it should take my employer to get back to me about an accommodation request. I have an update: My request was granted! I decided to talk to my boss (even though HR said not to – don’t know why) after a commenter suggested asking my boss if we could do 2-days-in-office as a test while I was waiting to hear back from HR. He didn’t agree to the test idea, but after I told him what was going on, he said he would tell HR that they should give me whatever I need. He’s very s…

A reader writes: I have a truly excellent employee on my team, “Dave.” He is bright, diligent, always volunteers for extra tasks and responsibility, and his work product is very high quality. I’m going to need to provide an annual review of Dave soon and I feel like I owe him more than “you’re doing everything perfectly, keep up the good work.” I worry that endless praise may seem disingenuous, and it might appear to Dave that I‘m not invested in coming up with ways to meaningfully coach him/help him improve. I’ll add that Dave and I were also coworkers/casual friends before I got promoted (though I think we’ve very successfully navigated into a manger/employee relation…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I’m writing in to find out how to get prepared, both literally and mentally, for a relatively quick change in my work situation. Context: I work at a state agency in Minnesota and for the last five years a large majority of state employees have been teleworking, with occasional in-person attendance for division meetings, conferences, trainings, etc. There are state employees who have been working onsite the whole time, so I understand that I am very fortunate to have been able to work from home. However, on Tuesday a notice was released announcing that state employees are being ordered back to the office at…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do I need to rush to buy a new car for my job? I have a long-term job where I didn’t need a car until a few months ago, when I began transporting stuff for a new project about 2-3 times a week. Unfortunately, my car recently broke down beyond repair. Fortunately for me, I live in a bike-friendly area and can also easily take public transit to work. Because of where I live and personal finance goals, I do not want to buy a new car right away. But now there’s this dilemma about who is going to transport project stuff. I have asked about a courier service and really hope one can be set up soon (but sometimes things take …

A reader writes: The room I work in is an office with about 10 cubicles located in the middle of the building. We have windows to the hallway, but none to outside. Two summers ago, our AC broke and the temperature in the office was between 79 and 82 all summer. Management bought italian ices for the office once or twice (super helpful /s) and said if anyone wanted to work in a different room they could work anywhere that was available — not a ton of options, mostly conference rooms that were frequently in use. They eventually got that fixed, and I thought all would be well. Unfortunately, for the past 10 months, including all through the winter, the office was so, so, …

A reader writes: I manage someone with extreme social anxiety who seems a lot like person #1 in this column. Lee is very good at their job-specific tasks, which are largely operational and do not require much social interaction with the team or outsiders. We have established some office protocols that help support them (allowing camera-off in Zoom meetings, using Teams chat as a communication tool, etc.) However, we are a very small team and do have times when we need all hands on deck — for example, for an event for all of our clients, when I need Lee to do something like staff the registration table so other staff are free to lead parts of the event that are more rel…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. A group of coworkers are pushing for our in-office breakfasts to be vegan My company is doing a weekly in-office breakfast (a “hotel breakfast”-like assortment: toast, cheese, ham, eggs, yogurt and granola, etc.) with the goal of bringing people together, since we’re largely remote. A small group of vegan coworkers are pushing for a “plant-based default” breakfast, where all animal products are subbed with vegan replacements and meat and dairy are opt-in on request, citing sustainability (which is important in our company culture) and health benefits. I’m all for a diverse breakfast spread, but this seems a little ove…