Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. How do I manage petty behavior between two employees who dislike each other? For context, I am not the manager of either of these employees, just an innocent bystander trying to help the manager figure this out. The feedback that was given to both of these employees was relatively similar to what you suggested. Basically, the manager focused not on the specific incidents, but instead on telling these employees that the expectation is that they treat all coworkers with profe…

A reader writes: People in my office frequently come into work very obviously sick and many times get other people sick. Most people do not have the ability to work from home with the work we do. We’ve sent a firm-wide message telling people that we prefer that sick employees stay home, as to stop the spread to the rest of the staff. Unfortunately, this didn’t make much of a difference. I understand that people want to save their paid time off for more enjoyable times, but it’s not fair to the coworkers to whom they spread their germs. (We also offer six paid sick days, separate from vacation and personal leave.) What else can we do? I answer this question over at Inc.…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. I think my disastrous ex-employee is co-opting queer identity Where do I begin. I followed the advice and said nothing, generally kept my distance. Pam sowed chaos “leading” the LBGTQ+ group. She created what an ex-member described as a sexualized atmosphere, including a pinup photo of her in an event announcement. A lot of members left. A young employee, Mary, very publicly accused P…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 19, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Employer is angry that I didn’t show up for an interview I didn’t know about There is a job I really want. I applied and didn’t hear back for a while. After a few months, they emailed me stating that my interview would be on X date with no time nor location. They had scheduled it for the next day and it was already evening. I wasn’t in town and wouldn’t be back until the next week. I sent an email in reply, letting them know and that I would be happy to reschedule. Fast forward to today, which is five days later. Last night they sent me an email w…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My promotion was canceled because of budget … but I’m still doing the work Ultimately, my promotion did end up going through! My manager really went to bat for me and pointed out the terrible optics of cancelling promotions that were already announced to people, and was able to get the decision reversed. I’m really thankful that I have such a great manager who was willing and able to stand up for us, and that the lab leadership listened and made a change. I did talk to my m…

A reader writes: I’m at a loss here. I have a coworker I’ll call Riley from a different department in my organization. Riley and I were becoming pretty good work friends, when they experienced a psychotic break and tried to end their own life. I didn’t want someone I cared about to die, so I stepped up as a support person. I learned that Riley had been hospitalized before for the same reason before we met. I thought I was equipped to absorb some of their pain while they worked through mental health treatment and stabilized. Riley was better for a few months, then spiraled and went back to the hospital. This cycle never stopped. I don’t even remember how many times they…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 16, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I manage a small team of customer service/account managers. I have a long-term client who is quite particular and has dealt with one of my employees for a few years now. Recently, I’ve brought a new employee on board and we decided to transition this account over to her. The client sent me a polite, but very stern email after about one week, requesting to be put back in the original employee’s hands immediately. Nothing really happened to prompt this, the new employee hasn’t done anything wrong, and our strategic goal for this year is to split up clients in a way that means she should be handled by the new employee. I personally think it’s quite rude to…

A reader writes: The CTO of our company is our CEO’s high school buddy. If you come to him with a problem, he always wants to jump on a call with you to hear the problem and troubleshoot. However, 95% of the time, I don’t need to be on this call. I don’t have any amplifying information other than reporting that something isn’t working. He wants to think out loud and chat. It’s a huge waste of time. Lately, I’ve been flat out refusing to be on a call with him by saying, “I don’t have any additional information, so a call is not needed.” Instead I will Slack him with the problem and my attempts at resolution (again, all of the information I have). I’m realizing that he do…

A reader writes: My employee handbook has a policy where if you want to switch to full-time remote work, you have to give three months notice. My partner is starting grad school and we are planning on moving, so I asked my work to switch me to full-time remote in over three months. The handbook says they may not be able to accommodate this, so I was prepared for the potential “no.” However, after giving the “no,” they met with me and said that as I’m moving in three months and they would not accommodate a shift to remote, I would not be able to work at my company anymore. I continued to express my gratitude and interest in continuing remote if possible, but that I unde…

A reader writes: This is a bizarre situation that happened years ago and I always wonder how I and my boss should have handled it. I don’t drink alcohol for personal reasons. My boss, Walter, was aware of this — in my field, happy hours with clients and coworkers are common, and I’d usually attend and have a soda but made clear to Walter early on that I don’t drink. Relevant information: I have some moral qualms with it personally — not judging what anyone else partakes in, but it’s not something I have an interest in consuming myself. I have known a lot of alcoholics, and while my own abstinence from alcohol isn’t religious, I do think there are some similarities to th…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I want to opt out of my company’s “wellness” messages My company regularly pushes out “wellness” content to all employees — things like tips on diet, exercise, mental health, and mindfulness. The problem is that we don’t have the option to opt out, and I personally find a lot of the content intrusive or irrelevant. For example, I’ve received messages about topics that touch on sensitive health issues I’d rather not have my employer involved in. I don’t want to seem ungrateful or negative since I know the intention is to promote wellness, but I really dislike having this material pushed on me without a choice. I’ve tri…

Earlier this month, we talked about corporate gifts that went terribly wrong. Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared (and 15 more about coming next week — apparently there are a lot of bad company gifts out there). 1. The playing cards One Christmas, we were all handed packs of playing cards with the company logo … not great but not terrible. Everyone can use a deck of cards right? The we opened them. Instead of the normal hearts/spades/numbers etc., the cards had our “company values” printed on them. They were custom made for a special game, like Go Fish. You were supposed to build “sets” of matching values. Like “Go Fish,” you were supposed to ask, for example…

A reader writes: For the bulk of my working life, I’ve been a very low-level lawyer in Washington, D.C. who managed to scratch my way into a few government contracts with the Department of Justice over the years. This definitely wasn’t my dream (poetry is … sigh), but things worked out this way and mostly it’s been okay. After using your book (which was great), I was eventually hired full-time by another agency last December, but DOGE killed my position very shortly afterwards before I even finished onboarding, and since then I’ve been scrambling, since the whole legal ecosystem in D.C. is a mess and jobs have vanished. Recently, a couple positions at DOJ were advertis…

A reader writes: I don’t like to do birthday stuff for my birthday. No, not even that. Or that. Or that. Or … It’s got nothing to do with the dreaded Getting Older; in fact, I don’t really know why. I just don’t want to. When my coworker went around collecting people’s birthdays, I gave mine to her, but specified that I didn’t want to have it celebrated. I was very clear about this. It wasn’t “Oh, you don’t need to make a fuss about me” or anything similarly wishy-washy. I said that I didn’t want anything to be done about it. For a couple of years this was fine, but then we got a new coworker, Pollyanna. One of our other coworkers, Kelly, also didn’t want to do birthd…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Worker stunk up client’s bathroom, then billed her for it I manage a team of skilled electricians who often work in clients’ homes. A client reached out to express concern that she was billed for 15 minutes during which our electrician was, quite literally, off the clock and stinking up her bathroom. I understand that nature calls, but really? Using her bathroom and charging her for it? Frankly, my personal thought is (barring an absolute emergency) he should have left her home and gone to a gas station. And then he had the nerve to charge her for it? Where do I even begin? It sounds like you and your employee — and m…

A reader writes: I manage some junior team members who are right out of college. One thing I have noticed is that they have a hard time saying no when I ask request something from them — as in, “Can this be done today?” or “Do you think this is a good idea?” I’ve made a career of being able to tell clients hard news, I really don’t mind hearing no! I don’t want them to overwork themselves because of what they perceive I need done, or do work that will send us over-budget. Sometimes I need to be able to have a quick conversation about these things and just get a clear “no” from them if that’s the realistic answer. Prefacing everything with “it’s really okay if you can’t…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is dating his former assistant, who still works here I have been an assistant for over a decade. I love the work I do. In January, I started a new role supporting the CEO of a mid-size company — definitely not a small family business, but not a Fortune 100 corporation either. I was told the position was open due to a promotion the previous assistant received, which was a great thing to hear! Upon getting here, I noticed the vibe between the CEO and his former assistant to be … different. They constantly talked during the work day about personal things, spent lunch together, and when one of them would leave for…

In honor of Halloween tomorrow, here are eight of my favorite stories about Halloween at work that have been shared here over the years. 1. The costume tradition For close to 15 years now, dressing up as one of your coworkers has been a Halloween tradition where I work. It actually started when someone came dressed as me the first year. A year later, I waited until I saw what a coworker was wearing that day, got a co-conspirator to bring a matching outfit, and sat down next to them. People have worn the CEO’s face printed out as a mask. Nobody’s ever gotten offended by it, it’s just a strange tradition now. I think it has more to do with the culture and the intent than …

A reader writes: For the past several years, I’ve been managing an employee whose work has oscillated between “acceptable but not great” and “does not meet expectations.” In that time, we’ve navigated all the steps HR and I could think of to help her improve (including training, shadowing other employees, more training, developing resources, discussing management and feedback styles that work for her, etc.). We’ve had weekly check-ins throughout her employment where we discuss her work, expectations, and other aspects of her role. Now, we’ve finally put her on a formal Performance Improvement Plan, which will last 60 days. She is understandably upset and stressed, but h…

We recently talked about times AI got it really wrong, and here are 20 of the most ridiculous stories you shared. 1. The fake initiative Our execs usually send out a hype email right before the annual employee morale survey, emphasizing wins from the past year, basically trying to put people in a positive frame of mind. Last year’s included the announcement of a major new program we knew employees really wanted. But it was a bit surprising, because it fell in an area my team was responsible for, and we were out of the loop, despite advocating strenuously for this over the years. So I went to the exec to a) convey enthusiasm for his newfound dedication to launching this…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Managers who don’t want to hear about problems without solutions Why do managers tell employees to only bring them solutions, not problems? I hear this a lot, and I’m not sure I get it. I understand that they don’t want people to complain to them about minor issues that could be solved with direct communication. However, I feel like if people take this advice literally, they won’t report actual problems. Recently, my team had an issue where two employees were repeatedly shouting at each other in meetings. In this case, a manager did witness one of the incidents, so it was addressed without a peer needing to escalate.…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Getting drunk texts from a former coworker I have been remote working at a company for about a year and a half now, and have been enjoying it. About a month ago, I had a coworker reach out and ask if he could use me as a reference for a job he was interviewing for. I gave him my number for the application, I gave my reference to the company, and he left for his new job shortly after. Then things started to get odd. Now that he has my number, I’ve started to get gibberish texts from him late at night, almost like sleeptalking. Like “I’m such an idiot, going to baseball later, tell me why?” When asked about it, he has a…

A reader writes: My husband and I are splitting up after eight years together. We’ve had issues that we’ve been working on for a long time, but the final split happened fairly suddenly and I’m reeling right now. On top of everything else I’m dealing with now (including finding a new place to live, getting off his health insurance, etc.), I’m wondering how to talk about this at work. My coworkers have met my husband at many events over the years, and I’ve talked about him a lot at work. I don’t know how to tell people we’re splitting up without inviting a ton of questions, none of which I’m really ready to talk about right now, and I also don’t want to trauma-dump on peo…