Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose employer who laid them off and then wanted them to sign an indemnification (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. Your advice was incredibly helpful. My previous manager continued to send me multiple followup texts regarding the indemnification that felt very guilt-tripping (reminding me they could not proceed with the critical business operation unless I signed and agreed). I did not reply to any of the tex…

Remember the letter-writer who was struggling to get their email inbox under control? Here’s the update. I was the person who was overwhelmed by my inbox and was looking for help to manage high volume comms. Overall, the chaos of busy season was definitely easier to manage this year, even though the volume of email did increase up to around 300+ a day in the peak season, likely because I have been in my role longer so more people know me and like to ask me stuff. I really appreciated the commentariat suggestions and would love anyone to add any more systems and hacks – and to those who manage 1000+ emails a day, I take my hat off to you! What worked: * Having set times…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who asked how to adjust to returning to the office after working from home for five years? Here’s the update. It’s now been almost five months since the 50% in-office mandate began, and it has been … an adjustment, but not nearly as difficult as I anticipated. I ended up choosing to spend one work week of the pay period in the office, and the other work week at home. (For context, the work week for our state government agencies is Wednesday through Tuesday, so that means I go in on Wednesday, Thurs…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering how to keep cat fur off all her work clothes (#5 at the link)? Here’s the update. You were kind enough to post my question and your readers responded with a wealth of information and advice. Since I’m retiring in a few weeks, and cat fur on office clothes will no longer be a problem, I thought an update might be in order. Plus, who doesn’t love update season?! The number one piece of advice I receiv…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking how to live down a reputation for being “extra”? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for publishing my letter a year ago. I really appreciated your advice and the kind responses in the comments. Looking back, I was in a dark place emotionally and a toxic work environment when I wrote. I don’t think I really recognized how anxious and unhappy I was until I was beyond it. Believe it or not, I’ve remaine…

Remember the letter-writer asking how to manage someone with poorly controlled ADHD? Here’s the update. I found your response very helpful and I’m working my way through all the comments as well. The situation was already resolved by the time this was published, but it’s helpful to reflect back on what I could have done better, and hopefully others will learn from this too! It’s fascinating to see the commenters weighing in on the importance of accommodations vs personal responsibility. I’m also learning a lot about the uniqueness of ADHD coping methods, not only that different people find different approaches helpful, but also that the same person will need different a…

Remember the letter-writer wondering how long should it take for HR to tell her if her accommodation request would be granted? Here’s the update. I wrote you a couple of weeks ago wanting to know how long it should take my employer to get back to me about an accommodation request. I have an update: My request was granted! I decided to talk to my boss (even though HR said not to – don’t know why) after a commenter suggested asking my boss if we could do 2-days-in-office as a test while I was waiting to hear back from HR. He didn’t agree to the test idea, but after I told him what was going on, he said he would tell HR that they should give me whatever I need. He’s very s…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose mother was pressuring her to babysit their brother in their office after school? Here’s the update — and some more advice from me. Thank you for answering my letter! It was too late to reply to the comments after work, but I’ll address some of them here: For those asking if I still live with my mother: I moved out when I was 18 and live in my own apartment with roommates. My brother was born when I was 10 years old, so that’s where the age gap comes from. For those asking why my brother can’t just stay at home like most teens: He usually does, but given my brother’s …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who felt guilty about retiring at such a hard moment for her colleagues? Here’s the update. First, I want to say whole-heartedly that I really valued all of the advice offered, and the various ways in which my anxiety about retiring was reframed helped me move forward and quiet the guilt I was feeling. Thank you all for all of the advice, and for taking the time and putting together your thoughts to offer it. …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer who manages a terrible slob and asked how to convince her upset coworker that it’s being handled? Here’s the update. I actually have an update to this situation right now! I appreciated so much of the advice in the comments, as well as yours. I didn’t get much into everything I had done with Sally since my question was really about Susie, but it really did sound like I was blowing off Susie without that additional context! Susie and Sally have separate offices with doors on a large campus. Most of Susie’s work happens on her computer, except for an occasional client meeting…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who thought one of their employees might be trans and was wondering how to signal support (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. Thank you for publishing my letter in July. Your advice and the comment section were both very useful. Everyone was very kind and a lot of people had good advice. I decided to follow the advice of not saying anything to Jane or focusing particularly on her, instead turning my focus to…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who took a job with less responsibility and her coworkers were treating her like she had no experience? Here’s the update. It turns out the part where you asked why it mattered was the crux of the issue. At the time I wrote, we had just hired the woman who told me she had a degree in marketing and “actually knew about this stuff.” She was older than me and a little odd, but I thought she was cool and admired her amazing work ethic. She had a habit of giving me unsolicited advice, like “when you are…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who turned down a bait-and-switch job offer and the firm started blowing up his phone? Here’s the update. I wish I had a wild update, or a satisfying update, but here is what ended up happening in my saga with the strange contractor who tried to change the pay rate and then assaulted me with endless texts and calls. I wrote to the woman who seemed to be the highest-ranking officer at the subcontractor and sai…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was asked out on LinkedIn (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. It was really interesting seeing the commentariat split. I come from a family with a lot of public and semi-public figures (think your local news station’s traffic guy rather than, like, celebrity nepo baby) and unfortunately, we’ve dealt with actual stalkers that required police involvement before, so I’ll admit to being on higher alert to bei…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update. Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in offic…

Remember the letter-writer who was covering two full-time jobs and her boss wouldn’t help? It turns out that she solved the problem herself before I printed my answer. Here’s the update. Your advice was lovely and I hope it helps people who are in the same position as I was. As an update – Things got worse for 2-3 more months. I did have conversations with her where I explicitly clarified I could not do the workload she was requesting, and every time she would acknowledge it but continue to act shocked and say degrading things to me when the workload was not completed. I took over the hiring after some pushing, and screened a number of applicants over the phone and hos…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was inheriting an employee who causes chaos wherever they go? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for taking my question several months ago about having a “chaos employee” forced upon my department. I have an update and a feeling there will likely be a more dramatic addition some years down the road. I ended up talking my department out of taking on Pat! We dodged the bullet! I didn’t mention to my super…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was miserable in their PhD program and just wanted to teach but didn’t think they could drop out? Here’s the update. I regretted sending my letter in to Alison about three seconds after I hit the “submit” button. I was convinced that I was just whining, that there wasn’t anything that could fix this situation, and it was my job to just grit my teeth and get through it. Hearing from so many of you that you’…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was worried that their boss and HR were laying a paper trail to fire them (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. I know that people like updates, so I thought I would write back once I passed the six-month mark of that meeting (and then some), to see if there was ever the follow-up that I was told there would be. Well, there has not been any follow-up meeting scheduled or even any reference to the first meeting having happened, so I think it probably was just a one-off and my boss may have even f…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer trying to decide if her coworker was harassing her or just annoying? Here’s the update. I was away from my desk the day my question was posted so didn’t get to interact with the commentariat but I did go thru and read all the comments. Thanks all for your advice! It got worse before it got better. Early August, Joe asked me what I wanted my nickname to be as he was going to give me a nickname. I replied, “I don’t do nicknames at work.” Later that month, he said to another one of my coworkers, “T…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer in HR who had recently brought in a new manager, Barbara, to manage a team that was resisting any change and complained constantly? Here’s the update. First, Barbara is no longer with our organization. Due to some troubling behavior that was witnessed by multiple people (myself included), and given the nature of Barbara’s actions during her short time with us, we all felt this just wasn’t a good culture fit an…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose boss (Ned) and she shared an office with a volatile jerk (Peter)? Here’s the update. After my letter was published, I spoke to Ned and told him I would not be assisting Peter further, which he fully supported. I started referring Peter to his adult children for assistance, which left him huffy but he stopped bothering me. He also began spending more and more time away from the office and out of state, “working” on their joint venture. As for Peter and Ned, their business relationship has end…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pressuring them to work more hours when they had just back from stress leave? Here’s the update. Good news all around, thank you for the advice — I desperately needed to hear it. It ended up working out — eventually. Brian’s outbursts, yelling, and general unreasonableness got worse after I wrote in, to the point where he would shout at me and everyone else in front of the team. I’m proud of keeping my cool in those moments, but I was in tears afterwards. It sucked. “Nobody is bigger than the project” became a sort of meme on our site, which was a funny upsid…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose boss wanted her to verify that she was really exercising? Here’s the update. I appreciated the validation offered by you and your readers, and apologize I couldn’t be available when it was posted for replies. The executive director’s deadline for my “proof” was just a couple days after I reached out to you, so I had to take action before you had a chance to publish your reply. I thought about replying to the email from my executive director with the verification documents and including my ma…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose boss never praised their work? Here’s the update. My undying thanks to you and all the commentariat for your compassionate take and excellent advice: I needed to get out of that job. It was advice that didn’t land well at the time, because my morale was so shot that I didn’t even see the point in job-hunting. How could I hope to get a better job when I’d clearly never gotten good at this one, which was for an organization I adored, using the skill set I was educated in? Still, where self-esteem fails, spite finds a way. Every time my boss did something that made me w…