Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they were missing red flags at their new job since their coworkers kept expecting them to be miserable? Here’s the update. I’m still in the job! My boss is still a stickler, that hasn’t changed, but I’ve adjusted to him, and things have stayed pretty stable overall. I’ve now been here about nine months, and I’m hearing a lot less about the dog (thankfully) and a lot less doom-and-gloom about how the job will “turn nightmarish any day now.” It hasn’t. My team lead and colleagues are go…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Buckeye, by Patrick Ryan. A short-lived affair in a small town in 1945 has long-lasting consequences for two families. I loved this! It ended up being my favorite book of everything I read this year. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – December 6-7, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Coworkers are bringing kids to work but keeping it a secret from our boss I work in a small, open concept office and I am having issues with my coworker bringing children to work. My coworker “Sansa” has a grandchild the same age as the son of another one of my coworkers, “Arya.” The boys are best friends and they attended the same (all-day) preschool. There were several times over the course of the summer that the boys were present in the office, sometimes for the entire day, between times when their summer camps was not in session and my boss was…

It’s probably the most frustrating part of job searching: you have an interview that seemed to go great, you nailed every question and felt rapport with you interviewer, they seemed impressed and said they’d be in touch soon, and then … silence. Do you follow up with them? Did you wait for them to get in touch? Will you ever hear back? What happened? At New York Magazine, I wrote about what to do when an interview goes great but then you don’t hear anything. You can read it here. The post why haven’t I heard back after my interview? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My coworker accidentally linked her nudes to our team Photoshop account I wanted to add that the nudes in question included not only my coworker herself, but also her boyfriend! Anyway, the day after our manager alerted my coworker to the nudes issue, they had a meeting where my coworker assured him that she managed to unlink her photos and apologized for the indiscretion and for “whatever you may have seen.” Manager said he had no idea what she was talking about and prompt…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Interviewing in person while visibly pregnant (#2 at the link) Thanks for your advice about addressing my pregnancy during an interview process. I had to make my decision before I saw your response, but it was reassuring that I hadn’t messed up! I was invited to in-person second-round interviews for two positions through that recruiter in the same week, so I let him know I was pregnant and gave him permission to share that with the hiring committees. He responded with congr…

A reader writes: My department just called all us middle managers into a session to discuss our sickness “issue.” Some context: We live in a country where permanent employees of any level at any company all get unlimited sick days at full pay for a year (with a handful of caveats). Funnily enough, the sickness rate here isn’t particularly high: the average local worker takes three days off for sickness per year. Our company has been through a painful year-long layoff process, which coincided with record-breaking profits, the launch of completely new product lines, and somewhat absurd expectations. Oh, and team celebration budgets were cut in the meantime. Our department…

A reader writes: I am in a front-line commercial role at a tech start-up. I am responsible for bringing in new business, and this story pertains to my colleague Zayne, who manages a lot of the back-end, integrations side of things. Zayne is fantastic at what he does. The guy might actually be a genius, and I don’t say that lightly. He has a ton of ideas, seems to really love what he does, and is good at it. He’s also very open about his mental health, which I admire but it can admittedly take me back sometimes. I grew up in a family where we often don’t share things like that, and it’s something I’m trying to unpack as an adult, but even so I find myself at a loss for w…

Here’s a round-up of advice about counteroffers. can I leverage a job offer for a raise at my current job? should I use a job offer to get a raise at my current job? should I talk with my manager before I accept another job, even though I wouldn’t accept a counteroffer? my job made me a shocking counteroffer can I ask an employer to match a counteroffer from my current job? when a recruiter wants you to commit to not accepting a counteroffer some cautionary tales my company made a counteroffer to keep me — and now is attaching strings to it my employer made me a counteroffer, then rescinded it I accepted my company’s counteroffer, and now they’re going back on o…

A reader writes: I work at a fairly large nonprofit (500+ employees) outside a major city. I’ve been here four years and genuinely like my job, but my compensation has become a major source of stress. I hold a director-level title, supervise 15 part time employees, and earn just enough to qualify as exempt from earning overtime pay. Since starting, I’ve taken on significant additional responsibilities. I regularly work 45-60 hours each week and am expected to be on call for emergencies for eight hours every other weekend. I know nonprofit salaries aren’t high, but I didn’t expect to be 10 years into my career and still living paycheck to paycheck. Recently, I had my ann…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Uncoupling, by Meg Wolitzer. After the local high school performs Aristophanes’ play Lysistrata, in which women decide to deny men sex in order to pressure them to end a war, the town’s local women pick up the habit themselves. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 28-March 1, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: Should I give my coworker a heads up that everyone in our office sees her (Beth) and another of our coworkers (Sean) flirting and thinks they’re sleeping together? I’ve personally seen them chit chat and act all giggly together, as well as “check each other out,” like look each other up and down. Sean is twice the age of Beth, but Beth is still almost middle-aged. I think other people in the office are gossiping hard and, while I’m not 100% certain there’s anything going on (they’re both married), I heard that our director said something to Sean so now they don’t stop by and chat as often. Should I tell Beth how this friendship with Sean is coming off …

A reader writes: I just finished conducting a job interview where it was clear from the candidate’s answer to the first question that he was not going to get the job, but I felt like it would be rude to indicate that so abruptly. So I wasted 20 more minutes of his time going through the motions and by the end we both knew it was not a fit but I didn’t know what to say. Is it ever okay to cut the interview short? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Moving people to a new team just so they can be fired This got relayed to me from a coworker who is in a supervisory role, Dorothy. She has a direct report who she is working on terminating, as this individual has not been meeting the basic requirements of the job, including the essential functions. They were already given an extended probation and continue to not meet the requirements of the role. There’s a whole backstory to it, but a new development has occurred that seems really suspect. Dorothy was told by her supervisor, Sophia, that once this person is out, they will transfer another employee to Dorothy’s team …

Workplace “wellness” initiatives — like free yoga classes, mindfulness tips, step challenges, diet advice, and other pushes for well-being now common at work — are supposed to be a win-win situation: employees get healthier and happier while employers reap the benefits of lower health care costs. But in practice, these programs frequently miss the mark, and many employees perceive them as intrusive and out of touch. At Slate today, I wrote about workplace “wellness” so often goes wrong (including one wellness advisor who suggested eating goulash as a cure-all). You can read it here. The post workplace wellness initiatives do more harm than good appeared first on Ask a M…

A reader writes: I’m going on extended leave in six weeks and there is zero — I mean zero 00 — coverage lined up. I lead a team responsible for delivering a major client contract. Management has been aware of my plans for months but interviews start this week so it’s really unlikely the new person will start before my leave. There is nobody internally I can transition my tasks to in the interim — I’ve asked and made a few suggestions, but nothing. Leadership fired the project manager and haven’t renewed the contract for my only peer, so it’s also likely there will be no client-facing leadership or anyone to manage the team once I go on leave. When I first started follo…

It’s Halloween! Let’s revisit some Halloween questions from past years. 1. My coworker goes overboard with grisly Halloween decorations People in our office go bonkers over Halloween. Recently we were encouraged to decorate for Halloween. I would take that to mean a little black and orange garland, maybe a plastic pumpkin, right? Well, not hardly. People go overboard and apparently the only rule was no trip hazards in the aisle. The woman in the cubicle next to mine must have emptied out her storage area of Halloween decorations. Now there are gross bloody looking, ghoulish figures hanging from the ceiling above our desk space. There are skeletons with teeth, cobwebs st…

A reader writes: I’ve been working in the marketing department of a large company for nine years, in a somewhat specialized role. I sit within a smaller subteam originally managed by “Jean-Luc,” who was the kind of manager everyone hopes for — fiercely protective of his team, willing to go to bat for any of us, and fair if it came down to any issues that needed dealing with. At the beginning of the year, Jean-Luc told us that he’d be moving on and assured us he’d be directly responsible for hiring his replacement to ensure a good fit. Two weeks before he left (I’m in the UK and we typically have three-month notice periods), he hired “Kai Wynn,” who seemed very knowledge…

Sometimes the biggest battles at work — and definitely the funniest — are over very small things: the office-wide meltdown when new phones were installed with fewer speed dial buttons; mundane parking rules that led to threats, bribery, and fake parking tickets; a rebellion after a change to the cafeteria’s sushi trays; and a full-on mutiny over thinner bacon. Let’s discuss very big office battles over very small things. Share what you’ve seen in the comment section. The post let’s discuss: very big office battles over very small things appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Ladies in Waiting: Jane Austen’s Unsung Characters, by Adriana Trigiani and more. A bunch of well-known authors, including my personal favorite Elinor Lipman, reimagine the lives of some of Jane Austen’s minor characters, including Mary Bennett, Georgiana Darcy, Caroline Bingley, and Miss Bates. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – November 29-30, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer in HR who had recently brought in a new manager, Barbara, to manage a team that was resisting any change and complained constantly? Here’s the update. First, Barbara is no longer with our organization. Due to some troubling behavior that was witnessed by multiple people (myself included), and given the nature of Barbara’s actions during her short time with us, we all felt this just wasn’t a good culture fit an…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking how to live down a reputation for being “extra”? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for publishing my letter a year ago. I really appreciated your advice and the kind responses in the comments. Looking back, I was in a dark place emotionally and a toxic work environment when I wrote. I don’t think I really recognized how anxious and unhappy I was until I was beyond it. Believe it or not, I’ve remaine…

In the spirit of the season, let’s hear about workplace gift debacles. Did a game of Secret Santa end in tears? Did a coworker throw a tantrum when she didn’t win a raffle? Were you given a jar of mold as a gift? Did you receive an oil painting of your coworker’s mother in the style of Napoleon? These are all real stories that we’ve heard here in the past. Now you must top them. Share your weirdest or funniest story related to gifts in the office in the comments. The post office holiday gift-giving stories: worst gifts and weirdest gifts appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering how to keep cat fur off all her work clothes (#5 at the link)? Here’s the update. You were kind enough to post my question and your readers responded with a wealth of information and advice. Since I’m retiring in a few weeks, and cat fur on office clothes will no longer be a problem, I thought an update might be in order. Plus, who doesn’t love update season?! The number one piece of advice I receiv…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My ex works at my new job I recently got a new job (medical field) that I was very excited for. The thing is that even after turning down other offers, I have terrible luck — out of all the jobs, I accepted the offer that put me in the same room as my ex. The break-up wasn’t great. I got ghosted. So in retaliation, I made myself visible by texting her and sending friend requests on all social media (nothing mean, it was all about what her friendship meant to me). I know, childish on my part and pretty much got blocked on everything. I moved on. Bu…