Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they were missing red flags at their new job since their coworkers kept expecting them to be miserable? Here’s the update. I’m still in the job! My boss is still a stickler, that hasn’t changed, but I’ve adjusted to him, and things have stayed pretty stable overall. I’ve now been here about nine months, and I’m hearing a lot less about the dog (thankfully) and a lot less doom-and-gloom about how the job will “turn nightmarish any day now.” It hasn’t. My team lead and colleagues are go…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who felt guilty about retiring at such a hard moment for her colleagues? Here’s the update. First, I want to say whole-heartedly that I really valued all of the advice offered, and the various ways in which my anxiety about retiring was reframed helped me move forward and quiet the guilt I was feeling. Thank you all for all of the advice, and for taking the time and putting together your thoughts to offer it. …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Adjusting to not having work friends now that I’m everyone’s manager (#2 at the link) I wrote about six months ago about loneliness at work after being promoted to location manager. On the whole, I’m feeling a great deal more comfortable! Some of my staff were promoted or otherwise moved to different jobs, so the current mix of people has known me mostly as Boss. I’ve been very intentio…

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: I have a newer employee who isn’t doing well. She has another job that I think she works at while on breaks, and I believe it’s causing distractions (and long lunch hours). She’s never actually told me about it but her cell phone voicemail is set for it. Do I bring up the other job when I am discussing her mediocre performance with her? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Oth…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Everyone likes me, so why am I not in the group chat? Well, I’m still not in the group chat, so I’m sorry to say I can’t report if it’s really about medieval falconry as discussed in the comments :-) I’m still happy at the job and have not asked to be included or started a new chat or anything like it. You and several commenters suggested I could just leave it be and that’s what I did.…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’m managing someone who wanted my job, and is acting like it I have recently taken a management role with a new employer, and I love the work and the place I am working. I am in a director position and have learned that the assistant director, Jane, also applied for the job, but obviously was not chosen. How do I handle two things: (1) others in the office asking Jane instead of me when I should make the call (they then catch themselves), and (2) Jane trying to “agree” with what I decide or say, but in a way that suggests her agreement is needed or being solicited? I take pride in being a good manager. I know how to…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Managers who don’t want to hear about problems without solutions Why do managers tell employees to only bring them solutions, not problems? I hear this a lot, and I’m not sure I get it. I understand that they don’t want people to complain to them about minor issues that could be solved with direct communication. However, I feel like if people take this advice literally, they won’t report actual problems. Recently, my team had an issue where two employees were repeatedly shouting at each other in meetings. In this case, a manager did witness one of the incidents, so it was addressed without a peer needing to escalate.…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee keeps falling asleep in meetings I have an employee who joined the team about 10 months ago. He is a good contributor so far, but I’ve noticed he has a bad habit of drowsing off during afternoon meetings, especially ones that are within an hour after lunch. I brought it up to him once about 2-3 months after he joined the team, and told him frankly that it was unprofessional and not acceptable. He agreed and said that he would work on getting better. But in the past month I’ve noticed it happening again. He’s also a bit older (maybe early 60’s though I don’t know his exact age) — not that age changes anything, …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose boss wanted her to verify that she was really exercising? Here’s the update. I appreciated the validation offered by you and your readers, and apologize I couldn’t be available when it was posted for replies. The executive director’s deadline for my “proof” was just a couple days after I reached out to you, so I had to take action before you had a chance to publish your reply. I thought about replying to the email from my executive director with the verification documents and including my ma…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer Yes, this is an update to “My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer.” Yes, she was. She also lied about losing her parents. She is also now lying on LinkedIn about the dates she was working for us, with her end date a few months earlier than her resignation. It turns out the absences and poor performance were bec…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer in HR who had recently brought in a new manager, Barbara, to manage a team that was resisting any change and complained constantly? Here’s the update. First, Barbara is no longer with our organization. Due to some troubling behavior that was witnessed by multiple people (myself included), and given the nature of Barbara’s actions during her short time with us, we all felt this just wasn’t a good culture fit an…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. I’m panicking in my new job (#3 at the link) Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my letter. I really appreciated your advice, and I’m also really grateful for the commenters. I screenshotted a lot of their kind words to reread when I was second guessing myself. So … I did end up quitting that job after a month without having something lined up. Things spiraled pretty quickly after I got your response. I was repeatedly assigned tasks I had no experience in, ask…

It’s round 2 of the Worst Boss of 2025 voting. In the first round we narrowed the pool from eight nominees to four (see results here). The four winners from round one are paired off in two match-ups below, as we move closer to declaring a winner. 1. Repulsive Rivals – The Nominees: the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk my boss said I’m threatened by his “masculine energy” 2. A Loathsome Line-up – The Nominees: my boss told me to stop having sex with my boyfriend or quit my job my company makes summer interns wear bikinis If the voting isn’t showing up for you, you can also vote directly here: pair 1, pair 2 The post vote for the wors…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was miserable in their PhD program and just wanted to teach but didn’t think they could drop out? Here’s the update. I regretted sending my letter in to Alison about three seconds after I hit the “submit” button. I was convinced that I was just whining, that there wasn’t anything that could fix this situation, and it was my job to just grit my teeth and get through it. Hearing from so many of you that you’…

A reader writes: One piece of your advice I’ve made use of many times is to think of a person struggling in their role as “miscast.” It’s not like they’re a terrible person or failing on purpose, they’re just in the wrong role for their skills. When the conversation turns to ending their employment, I can be kinder and more compassionate, as you’ve written, even when they have frustrated me greatly throughout their time with us. But I worry I’ve gotten stuck when the reason someone is being let go for attitude. I’m thinking of a time, a while back, when I fired a person who no one could stand to work with — arrogant, smug, judgmental, and no self-awareness whatsoever of…

In the spirit of the season, let’s hear about workplace gift debacles. Did a game of Secret Santa end in tears? Did a coworker throw a tantrum when she didn’t win a raffle? Were you given a jar of mold as a gift? Did you receive an oil painting of your coworker’s mother in the style of Napoleon? These are all real stories that we’ve heard here in the past. Now you must top them. Share your weirdest or funniest story related to gifts in the office in the comments. The post office holiday gift-giving stories: worst gifts and weirdest gifts appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 13-14, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

The final votes are in, and the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk won the Worst Boss of 2025 Award, with 57% of the vote in the final match-up. Coming in second, the company that made summer interns wear bikinis captured 43% of the vote. The runners-up, who all managed to be pretty terrible themselves: my boss told me to stop having sex with my boyfriend or quit my job boss says it’s unacceptable not to meet all deadlines, no matter how unreasonable my boss made me verify that I’m really exercising I was written up for having a visible thong outside of work can I ask my boss not to scream at me with her door open? my boss said I’m threat…

A reader writes: I recently realized that one of the managers who reports to me, Blake, uses abusive language with his employees. Blake’s employee fear that if he knows they have reported this to me, it will create a further problem for them. I need help on how to give feedback to Blake without giving him the feeling that I came to know this from his team members. I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there today include: Interviewing with the team I’…

Here are my favorite posts of 2025, in no particular order: 1. my employee keeps insisting he looks much younger than he is (but he doesn’t) Because humans are weird, and I love that. 2. good things that came from socializing with coworkers: marriages, dog adoptions, and more Because this was heart-warming, and these things are easy to overlook. 3. how much deference do good managers want from employees? Because breaking down this kind of question is one of my favorite things. 4. my team doesn’t want to work for a client whose politics they disagree with Because a lot of people are grappling with this right now. 5. my colleagues are upset that we’re not “speaking…

A reader writes: I work for the government (not in the U.S.). A few months ago, changes were announced to our employment situation. Government employees who were able to work remotely have been doing so since the pandemic. In 2022, we were mandated back to the office two days a week. It used to be that people could choose what days they were on site, and if someone missed a day in the office here or there it was no problem. Now everyone is required to be in the office Mondays and Fridays. You are not allowed to swap for any other day of the week. You can’t work from home Monday or Friday (for example, you can’t say you’re not feeling well, have a plumber coming and need …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose office had been sent someone who couldn’t do the work by a job placement firm that said they’d lose their funding if the letter-writer’s office didn’t keep her? The hire, Carol, not only couldn’t do the work, but was disruptive — and her wealthy parents were being disruptive too. Here’s the update. I found some menial tasks from the lists given and put Carol on them. She really liked making paper chains…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My coworker’s constant babbling is drowning me in info, and my boss won’t help So as it happened, by the time the post went up I’d left the job and the region. But not long after I sent in the letter, I sat down and laid this out to my boss pretty much exactly as I wrote in. He wasn’t blind so while he wasn’t exactly thrilled, he did get it. I was a receptionist/admin in a small public office with regular customer service and sales tasks in addition to EA and admin work, my…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the CEO who kept asking young male employees to try her breast milk (!!)? Here’s the update. I recently wrote in about my CEO offering her breast milk to staff. The staff member most impacted elected to write a letter to the board. About 95% of union members decided to sign on to the letter, with many of them writing their own letters describing favoritism and lack of accountability on the part of the CEO. The whole board rece…