Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. I get bad vibes from my new boss You advised me to act like a normal professional and that was absolutely the right thing to do. When we interact, the new director is pleasant and has nice things to say to me and about the work that I do. I don’t think that she is nefarious, but unfortunately she is incompetent. She’s been a fairly absent leader, giving vague direction to teams then providing conflicting direction at the last minute, and starting meetings by sharing “profou…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Supervisor is flirting with my wife Well, the update is that I did have a conversation with my wife after several conversations before. The last one, I told her that the supervisor’s behavior towards her and her reactions to that behavior would be the end of us. She had a last conversation with him where he told her that he didn’t mean any disrespect, which I thought was bull but whatever. Eventually I saw less and less interaction on camera but I still drove myself crazy w…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Buckeye, by Patrick Ryan. A short-lived affair in a small town in 1945 has long-lasting consequences for two families. I loved this! It ended up being my favorite book of everything I read this year. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – December 6-7, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s time to vote on the worst boss of the year! Today we’ll vote for the worst boss in each of four match-ups. On Wednesday, the winners will go head-to-head with each other. On Friday, we’ll vote on the finalists. The winner will be crowned next Monday. Voting in this round closes at 11:59 pm ET on Tuesday. 1. A Dreadful Duo – The Nominees: my boss told me to stop having sex with my boyfriend or quit my job boss says it’s unacceptable not to meet all deadlines, no matter how unreasonable 2. A Perfidious Pair – The Nominees: my boss made me verify that I’m really exercising the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk 3. A Terrible Twosom…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker was making their friend break-up really weird? Here’s the update. I have a major update to my previous letter. Last week, this coworker (Mr. Collins) got fired. He had another extremely similar falling-out with another female coworker (let’s call her Jane) in June, and even more women started comparing notes. Jane started working with us around the time that Mr. Collins and I fell out and they s…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose company said it was “best practice” to do layoffs over email? The first update was here, and here’s the latest. Two years later and I have a doozy of an update about this company. So, after the last letter, I was working at a new company that happened to employ a lot of people who had left the Email Layoffers. We kept in touch with a lot of people at that company and it was pretty quiet for a year or so…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My boss loves being told she’s beautiful I’m afraid the ritual with the boss continues. I couldn’t find any way to say that the team might feel pressure to compliment her appearance without making it sound like I didn’t think she was good-looking. So I just caved to the pressure and decided to start talking up her career and telling her she’d be great for more senior roles so it doesn’…

A reader writes: I work in a 15-person team within a larger organization. We have a hybrid work scheme, with mandatory in-office Mondays and at least one other day on-site per week. We’re a fairly close team, and we all get along despite differences in age, life experience, etc. One of my colleagues, Emma, is a bit of a health nut. Every few months, she tries out a different diet or fad to try and make herself “skinny.” I think she’s already a healthy weight, but she’s very focused on it and on top of that she’s health-conscious and seems to enjoy reading about diet and nutrition. Emma never parades her new diets around or tries to shame anyone about what they’re eatin…

Several years ago, a reader shared with us this epic email that was sent by their company’s boss after a holiday party gone terribly awry, and as we enter the holiday season we remember its glory. “This happened about ten years ago, but the email I received from our boss was so epic I preserved it. Context: The second year I worked at this company, our holiday party was held on a dinner cruise boat. Our boss footed the bill for dinner and an open bar, and a few other companies also hosted their own parties on the boat at the same time. Since I was underage at the time, I did not drink, and actually left early with my date. Everything was fine when I left. The Monday aft…

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose employer who laid them off and then wanted them to sign an indemnification (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. Your advice was incredibly helpful. My previous manager continued to send me multiple followup texts regarding the indemnification that felt very guilt-tripping (reminding me they could not proceed with the critical business operation unless I signed and agreed). I did not reply to any of the tex…

All year long, I’ve made a weekly book recommendation when kicking off the weekend open thread. These aren’t work-related books; they’re just books I like, mostly fiction. Sometimes they’re books that I’m in the middle of reading, and other times they’re just long-standing favorites. Here’s the complete list of what I’ve recommended this year (maybe in time for holiday gift-shopping!). I’ve bolded my favorites of the favorites. (Interestingly, with some notable exceptions, it appears that what I was reading got lighter and lighter as the year went on.) Long Bright River, by Liz Moore. It’s SO GOOD! It’s the story of two sisters, close as children but estranged as adults…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering how to keep cat fur off all her work clothes (#5 at the link)? Here’s the update. You were kind enough to post my question and your readers responded with a wealth of information and advice. Since I’m retiring in a few weeks, and cat fur on office clothes will no longer be a problem, I thought an update might be in order. Plus, who doesn’t love update season?! The number one piece of advice I receiv…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My company won’t call me Doctor or Lord I was hoping that you could help me with a question I have regarding the use of honorifics in workplace documentation. I have recently acquired a new honorific, and my employers are refusing to use it on the documents that I have requested it be used on. I have legal documents that also show that my title is a fully legal one and can be used on official government documents up to and including my passport. Is there anything that I can do to get my employers to use it? Specifically, I have a doctorate and I a…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update. Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in offic…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asked whether they’d been wrong not to interview a problematic volunteer for a paid job? Here’s the update. You and the commenters were extremely helpful. I was reassured that the decision itself was not inappropriate, but better communication would have helped a lot along the way (isn’t that always the case?). One of the first things I did was go back and re-read the personalized rejection I had sent Stephan…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I worked for my mom and now she won’t stop bugging me with work questions Five years ago, I was offered a job at the company my mom had been working at for 20+ years. At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my career and I needed the insurance and a higher wage, so I accepted the offer despite my knowing it was ultimately going to be a bad situation. Unfortunately, I stayed for five years in the horrible working conditions. One of which was working directly for my mom all five years. During my five years at that company, I took it upon…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 19, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Here are the posts that interested people the most in 2025, via two lists: the most viewed posts and the most commented on posts. Most viewed posts of 2025: 10. my employee keeps insisting he looks much younger than he is (but he doesn’t) 9. I rejected a student’s advances, but his parents are mad at me 8. my coworkers have way more money than me … and they constantly expect me to shell out cash for meals and gifts 7. I don’t want to babysit my brother in my office 6. updates: martial arts at work, coworker hates me, and more 5. our Gen Z employees want to be coddled and are struggling with the realities of work 4. I manage a terrible slob — how can I convince her…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want to have dinner with my boss on a work trip I am going on a work trip outside the country with a colleague and our boss. Both of us don’t really get along with him (our boss) and want to plan our own activities in the non-working hours (mainly dinners). However, he has asked us what we plan on doing and wants to plan a dinner with all three of us. Is there a way I can say no to him without letting on that we have already made plans? What if he asks what I am doing instead when I decline his offer? There has recently been friction with him regarding work activities so not really sure how he will feel if eit…

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: A while back, an employee who reported to me (I’m a man) became visibly pregnant soon after she started. But she never brought it up. Not with me, not with HR, not with anyone. I didn’t ask her about it, though nearly everyone else in our office asked me. I cringed when I responded since it was obvious she was pregnant but I felt that I needed to protect her privacy. I felt like I was walking around on pins and needles with this very obvious elephant in the room. Her job description included occasionally lifting objects up to 40 pounds and the only way I treated he…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My office is infested with wasps Here’s an update to the wasp infestation in my office: it is still ongoing. The wasps are still there. I forcefully invoked my rights under the law and was finally allowed to work from home until the wasps are gone, but I am under the impression that nothing particularly has been done about the infestation. I fully expect the wasps to return next year u…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Can I confiscate my coworkers’ screaming monkey toy? Today, as has happened multiple times in the last few months, some of my nearby coworkers in our relatively small satellite office decided to play catch with this “screaming monkey toy.” The noise it makes is outrageously loud, especially in our small space, and I’ve previously indicated (politely) to coworkers that I find the noise not only distracting, but extremely annoying. After the first time, I asked them if they could please make an effort to not set the toy off, because of those reasons…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My employee warned me he has a problem with authority Six years ago, I took a job in a new department. At the time, I only had two years of managing experience and I was eager to not step on the toes of my new four-person team, who had a combined total of 85 years of experience. On my first day and in my first meeting with my employee Fergus, he smirked and opened with, “You should know I have a problem with authority.” To his credit, he was not lying. It’s a nightmare to deal with him but he does just enough to not be let go (we work for the gover…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they could ask their coworkers to tell them to shut up when they were talking too much? Here’s the update. I was the person who wrote in a moment of desperation trying to figure out how to stop myself from endlessly talking with/at coworkers and posed the idea of having a button made to tell people to tell me to hush (you know it was bad times when that sounded like a good idea). Warning for cont…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss told me to write the same sentence 500 times as punishment for a mistake I’m a currently an office manager, and I recently messed up and did not submit some health insurance forms that were required and cost my boss $1,000. I have been here for four years and never made a mistake, but for some reason my boss wants me to write 500 sentences stating, “I will not screw up another insurance case.” Is this even something she can do? She can, but it would be really, really weird — and overstepping and degrading — to require an adult to do that.…