Performance Tracking and Feedback

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employee gets special privileges because she’s dating an NBA player I didn’t have time to go to my manager regarding your advice because days after your response was posted, Cersei’s boyfriend broke up with her. As a side note, she lived with him in his very nice house. So I imagine it was a very painful breakup and was further complicated by the logistics of having to move out. Morale has slightly lifted but not by much because of the anticipation that special treatment for Cersei will manifest in a different way. It certainly leaves a bad taste in your mouth to know that her summer WFH status stopped because her rel…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer Yes, this is an update to “My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer.” Yes, she was. She also lied about losing her parents. She is also now lying on LinkedIn about the dates she was working for us, with her end date a few months earlier than her resignation. It turns out the absences and poor performance were bec…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employee keeps working unpaid overtime and lies about it (#5 at the link) When I had a stern talk to Pam warning her she would be fired for any further unapproved overtime, she wrote an email to say she was suing us. This bizarre announcement prompted me to start poking around as you advised. I discovered Pam had been stealing cash from work. It explained a lot about her eagerness to do overtime. She was outraged when confronted. Pam declared that she was innocent before g…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I spoke to a few colleagues about the enneagram activity, and many agreed and felt this was a strange work activity. I shared with my boss and those in charge of the retreat, and they heard some other feedback as well. While the activity still happened, it seemed some steps were taken to water down or soften how it was presented to minimize the weight of the activity. Overall it was not too bad, and was amusing to talk about the “types” so long as we were not talking about individuals or the more personal elements. I have a feeling they will gather more feedback bef…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Does using humor risk undermining me as a manager? Thank you so much for responding to my question! In truth, I didn’t even consider the possibility that using too many self-deprecating jokes would alter my employee’s perception of me, I was mainly focused on the quantity of my jokes. After I submitted my question, I thought over my interactions with them, and came to the conclusion that I was being way too silly, that my nervousness was manifesting as non-stop joke after joke, which had a strong possibility to detract from maintaining a professiona…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. I get bad vibes from my new boss You advised me to act like a normal professional and that was absolutely the right thing to do. When we interact, the new director is pleasant and has nice things to say to me and about the work that I do. I don’t think that she is nefarious, but unfortunately she is incompetent. She’s been a fairly absent leader, giving vague direction to teams then providing conflicting direction at the last minute, and starting meetings by sharing “profou…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Everyone likes me, so why am I not in the group chat? Well, I’m still not in the group chat, so I’m sorry to say I can’t report if it’s really about medieval falconry as discussed in the comments :-) I’m still happy at the job and have not asked to be included or started a new chat or anything like it. You and several commenters suggested I could just leave it be and that’s what I did.…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. I’m panicking in my new job (#3 at the link) Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my letter. I really appreciated your advice, and I’m also really grateful for the commenters. I screenshotted a lot of their kind words to reread when I was second guessing myself. So … I did end up quitting that job after a month without having something lined up. Things spiraled pretty quickly after I got your response. I was repeatedly assigned tasks I had no experience in, ask…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Interviewing in person while visibly pregnant (#2 at the link) Thanks for your advice about addressing my pregnancy during an interview process. I had to make my decision before I saw your response, but it was reassuring that I hadn’t messed up! I was invited to in-person second-round interviews for two positions through that recruiter in the same week, so I let him know I was pregnant and gave him permission to share that with the hiring committees. He responded with congr…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My boss is a jerk — how do I deal with her? (first update) I’m the person who wrote in years ago about my jerk boss (and, if I recall correctly, I initially balked when you called her a jerk!). I had previously provided an update about taking a new job and how grateful I was for your advice and the support of the community. As a quick update, I’m still at that new company and over the y…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My boss loves being told she’s beautiful I’m afraid the ritual with the boss continues. I couldn’t find any way to say that the team might feel pressure to compliment her appearance without making it sound like I didn’t think she was good-looking. So I just caved to the pressure and decided to start talking up her career and telling her she’d be great for more senior roles so it doesn’…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My friend accused me of getting him fired, but I didn’t (#3 at the link) Thanks again for publishing my question. I was nervous about submitting it but your advice helped me realize that my fellow writer and friend knew the risks of what he was doing by going against our employer’s company policy. I also realized through the comments section that I didn’t fully explain what this policy meant! As with other media outlets, our employer publication strictly forbids us from accepting trips, dinners, or expensive gifts from businesses or individuals in e…

Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My husband doesn’t want anyone I work with to know we’re married Thank you for publishing my letter — it was quite reassuring to read that this particular request from my husband was giving others pause as well. There was a lot of speculation in the comments, which was quite amusing to read, and lots of excellent points being made too! I do want to add that my husband has always been very conscious about sharing “private” info, but to be clear — he’s never hidden the fact that he is a married (straight) man, but he won’t go around telling his coworkers my name or my employer. Like you said, this was more of a husband p…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My office is infested with wasps Here’s an update to the wasp infestation in my office: it is still ongoing. The wasps are still there. I forcefully invoked my rights under the law and was finally allowed to work from home until the wasps are gone, but I am under the impression that nothing particularly has been done about the infestation. I fully expect the wasps to return next year u…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Adjusting to not having work friends now that I’m everyone’s manager (#2 at the link) I wrote about six months ago about loneliness at work after being promoted to location manager. On the whole, I’m feeling a great deal more comfortable! Some of my staff were promoted or otherwise moved to different jobs, so the current mix of people has known me mostly as Boss. I’ve been very intentio…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Can I refuse to pray with my religious client? The advice you gave me was very useful and it helped me to organize my thoughts and see the situation in a more rounded fashion. I have decided to lean into pretending to be religious and keep this client as long as I can. I have my elderly mother living with me and, thanks to the policies of the administration these people voted in, we are struggling and will struggle even further when the health insurance premiums increase ag…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Can I report my coworker’s drunken, racist aggression outside of work? My two coworkers and I discussed the weekend’s events and ended up reporting the incident with Fergus the very next day. My boss was horrified and immediately had him sent on a flight back to his home country that evening, and told Fergus’s manager that regardless of the outcome, he was not welcome in our country program again and he wanted another teammate assigned to our program. It turns out, Fergus h…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My coworker accidentally linked her nudes to our team Photoshop account I wanted to add that the nudes in question included not only my coworker herself, but also her boyfriend! Anyway, the day after our manager alerted my coworker to the nudes issue, they had a meeting where my coworker assured him that she managed to unlink her photos and apologized for the indiscretion and for “whatever you may have seen.” Manager said he had no idea what she was talking about and prompt…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My boss sent me a bereavement gift, then demanded to know how I felt when I received it Your advice and everyone’s comments really helped me get some perspective on the issue. I took your advice and sent a brief thank-you to the boss for the bereavement gift, saying I hoped my colleagues had passed on my appreciation at the time. I decided to treat the weird tone of the boss’s initial email as likely ChatGPT / Autocomplete / Inbox-wrangling-fatigue strangeness and definite…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My promotion was canceled because of budget … but I’m still doing the work Ultimately, my promotion did end up going through! My manager really went to bat for me and pointed out the terrible optics of cancelling promotions that were already announced to people, and was able to get the decision reversed. I’m really thankful that I have such a great manager who was willing and able to stand up for us, and that the lab leadership listened and made a change. I did talk to my m…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My coworker’s constant babbling is drowning me in info, and my boss won’t help So as it happened, by the time the post went up I’d left the job and the region. But not long after I sent in the letter, I sat down and laid this out to my boss pretty much exactly as I wrote in. He wasn’t blind so while he wasn’t exactly thrilled, he did get it. I was a receptionist/admin in a small public office with regular customer service and sales tasks in addition to EA and admin work, my…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Supervisor is flirting with my wife Well, the update is that I did have a conversation with my wife after several conversations before. The last one, I told her that the supervisor’s behavior towards her and her reactions to that behavior would be the end of us. She had a last conversation with him where he told her that he didn’t mean any disrespect, which I thought was bull but whatever. Eventually I saw less and less interaction on camera but I still drove myself crazy w…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Retired coworker keeps coming back to gossip (#3 at the link) Unfortunately, the retired coworker is someone who will take offense at any direct request to be left alone to do work. He would go up and down the hallway talking loudly to other people about how “So-and-So told me to get lost!!!!” and cause even more of a ruckus. My supervisor is often not there to see what is happening, and was not effective in dealing with him before he retired. (Example: He told our supervisor, “I don’t attend meetings because that’s what works for me,” and she let hi…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Men are gross in our non-gendered bathrooms (#3 at the link) The bathrooms in our building continue to be a source of mirth and disbelief. As well as continued seat-up, shake-it-all-about behavior, there’s been the (female) facilities manager who refused to accept that “all gender” means sanitary bins should be available in all stalls (“men don’t want to look at those”), and building-wide reminders to use the supplied brushes to remove anything you might leave clinging to t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. How do I manage a “regular” job with a parallel career as a musician? I asked about career advice for musicians a long time ago, and I’ve waited a long time to have an update I felt like sending. Unfortunately, the last few years have just been really, really bad. Things started to go sideways not long after I wrote to you. The program I was in was a really bad fit for me, and I ended up dropping out long before the end of it. There were other bad things too – I won’t go into it all because it would be pretty identifiable. One major theme of the pa…