Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker leaves her teenager in our office while she’s gone I will preface this by saying I work in a toxic environment with an an extremely toxic boss, so I know some of what’s going on isn’t normal. My coworker, Felicia, brings her teenage daughter to work. This is technically against company policy, but it’s not a fight I want to have with my boss. Recently, though, Felicia has been leaving her daughter in the office while going off campus to meetings, lunch, etc. This means my other coworker, Carrie, and I have to watch over the daughter — make sure she’s signed into a computer, answer any questions, grab her l…

A reader writes: My reason for writing stems from a recent situation where I was meeting with my direct report, Lucas, to discuss an idea he came up with. It was a great idea, so I commended him for it and told my boss about it too to give Lucas more visibility across our department. I did this because historically, Lucas has been difficult to manage because he is stubborn and argumentative. So I am hoping that with some positive feedback when it is due, and gentle coaching now and then, I can turn him around. Anyway, when I brought his idea to my boss’ attention, my boss (Allen) directly reached out to him and decided to include him in a client call to allow Allen to …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Boss doesn’t care that new office isn’t accessible I work in a director-level position for a center of a large university. We have experienced significant reductions in staffing following budget cuts and project terminations. Several staff also work remotely. We have a large leased office space off-campus, but now that we only have about 20 people who work in the office regularly (down from over 100), the university has decided that we need to move. This all seems reasonable to me. However, the space the university has proposed is a converted rowhome with steep concrete steps into the front door, a very narrow and ste…

A reader writes: I run outbound marketing for a tech startup serving founders and salespeople. We often send promotional/announcement emails from my email address to subscribers who have opted in to receive our updates. We recently sent a very harmless and innocuous announcement message, to which I received the following reply: “Why the FUCK am I getting this email” The message was from a personal Gmail account and included the sender’s cell phone number. A quick LinkedIn search revealed that the sender is employed at a major financial services firm as a personal wealth advisor (investment manager) for high net worth individuals. What he doesn’t know is, I’m a client …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Fire one employee, both employees, or no one? I am an assistant manager at a chain restaurant. There are two employees who should be fired due to violating our call-out policy, which is two NCNS (no call, no show) in a row is automatic termination and if you can’t make your shift you need to call the store with at least three hours notice. Both employees have violated this in different ways. Adam gives three hours notice sometimes but calls out at least once a week, and dictates his schedule to us instead of us scheduling him as we need him. He refuses to call and opts to text out, but is never a NCNS. He is generally…

A reader writes: I’m fairly new to the workforce (~3 years) and, between a time-limited paid fellowship and moving cities for grad school, I’ve changed jobs a couple of times. My current role is the first time I’ve been eligible to apply for a new role within my same organization, and while the job market makes me suspect that hordes of qualified people will be jumping on this posting, I’m optimistic about my chances. The organization would definitely prefer to hire internally if they can. I’ve already been cross-trained on some of the functions of this new role, and I know I can talk intelligently about my approach to the work in an interview. But what do I do when th…

A reader writes: This month, I started a new job that offers excellent benefits, including a policy stating that employees who “self-identify” on an addiction issue can take time off to get help without penalty. As a high-functioning untreated alcoholic, I’m very grateful for this, but unsure how to navigate it. (Kudos to all the authors of personnel policies out there who wrote language like this. Sincerely, those folks need to know how grateful some employees are for those clauses! Thank you! You are helping people!) Here’s the situation: I’ve had a long-term drinking problem and know in-patient treatment would finally help me address it. Out-patient didn’t stick, and…

A reader writes: I work for a small company, only eight people. Every December, we receive all kinds of gifts from vendors and clients – gift baskets, cookies, candy, wine, and so forth. These are usually accompanied by cards making it clear that the gifts are intended for the whole office to thank us for our work that year. Sometimes people even drop off gifts in person, and they will say things like, “This is for the whole office to enjoy.” Every time, my boss will take the gifts into his own office so no one else can have any of them, or he takes them home for his family. The only time we ever get to enjoy the gifts ourselves is if it’s something he doesn’t like. (Th…

A reader writes: I’m student work head at a university library — basically, I’m a student managing the regular student workers as a way of getting experience in management, leadership, etc. One of the workers has a bad habit of asking questions about everything. Usually it isn’t too bad, and of course curiosity should usually be encouraged, though it can derail conversations. But recently, there was an incident where some of our just-put-up Christmas decorations were stolen. Naturally, I was upset, and I happened to mutter, “Whoever did this is a real berk.” (I don’t know why I chose that word — it was just the first that leapt to mind.) Overhearing this, she asked, “Wh…

As we head into the holidays, we must solemnly reflect back on the stories shared here over the years about holidays at work. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The chili cook-off I worked for a nonprofit, and every year there was a few months long period where every department would do some kind of fundraiser for the nonprofit. My department was famous for a lunchtime chili cook-off that included, of course, voting for a winner. It was my first year there, and my boss kept talking about how popular the chili cook-off was. We were advised we needed to quadruple our normal recipe to have enough for everyone. One coworker launched in right away with BIG talk about her rec…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Adjusting to not having work friends now that I’m everyone’s manager (#2 at the link) I wrote about six months ago about loneliness at work after being promoted to location manager. On the whole, I’m feeling a great deal more comfortable! Some of my staff were promoted or otherwise moved to different jobs, so the current mix of people has known me mostly as Boss. I’ve been very intentio…

We have once again entered the season of forced workplace merriment, holiday party disasters, and other seasonal delights! Thus it is time to hear about your office holiday debacles, past or current. Did you pass out naked in the break room? Did your manager provide you with a three-page document of “party procedures”? Did your seven-year-old tell your boss the party food “tastes like shit”? These are all real stories that we’ve heard here in the past. Now you must top them. Share your weirdest or funniest story related to holidays at the office in the comments. The post share your funniest office holiday stories appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I saw my coworker buying a beer during work hours I saw a coworker at the pharmacy near our office this morning (9:45 a.m.) buying a 40-ounce can of beer. I was confused at first and I couldn’t figure out what to make out of it, but then I also remembered that this coworker always falls asleep in meetings. I wasn’t sure if I should have approached her (I didn’t want her to think I’m being nosy). I do not want to jump to conclusions because I also thought she might have bought the beer for someone else (i.e., a homeless person in NYC or whatever). …

It’s round 2 of the Worst Boss of 2025 voting. In the first round we narrowed the pool from eight nominees to four (see results here). The four winners from round one are paired off in two match-ups below, as we move closer to declaring a winner. 1. Repulsive Rivals – The Nominees: the CEO keeps asking young male employees to try her breast milk my boss said I’m threatened by his “masculine energy” 2. A Loathsome Line-up – The Nominees: my boss told me to stop having sex with my boyfriend or quit my job my company makes summer interns wear bikinis If the voting isn’t showing up for you, you can also vote directly here: pair 1, pair 2 The post vote for the wors…

All year long, I’ve made a weekly book recommendation when kicking off the weekend open thread. These aren’t work-related books; they’re just books I like, mostly fiction. Sometimes they’re books that I’m in the middle of reading, and other times they’re just long-standing favorites. Here’s the complete list of what I’ve recommended this year (maybe in time for holiday gift-shopping!). I’ve bolded my favorites of the favorites. (Interestingly, with some notable exceptions, it appears that what I was reading got lighter and lighter as the year went on.) Long Bright River, by Liz Moore. It’s SO GOOD! It’s the story of two sisters, close as children but estranged as adults…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 12, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was the chair of a board and had one board volunteer making everyone’s jobs harder because of his struggles with technology? Here’s the update. I found your advice and the advice in the comments very helpful. To start, I wanted to clear up something that that came up in the comments: this is not a 501(c) organization, though we do volunteer work for them. I fudged some of the details to make my story less recognizable, but this is actually an employer-sponsored affinity group. So no, there is …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose employees were being cruel to a gross coworker? Here’s the update. I fear this won’t be a very satisfying update. As I sat at my desk and read your email asking about an update, I took a few moments to look up from my screen and across the office to watch Meredith. Within those few seconds, I saw her pick a scab off her face and eat it. So yeah. I had my first conversation with Meredith months ago. Our job is one that exposes us to food, biological material, and chemicals, so at the sugges…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My vegan coworker is upset about getting non-vegan gifts three years in a row (first update) I saw some comments on the update I sent in before (about my coworker who cluelessly gave a vegan coworker three non-vegan gifts) wanted to know what Marie would get Liz for Christmas this year, haha. Liz ended up leaving the company in October for another job, so alas, no Christmas gift story, but we did have a farewell lunch for Liz and Marie gave her a book of plant-based recipes…

Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. An abusive volunteer is holding our website hostage I am no longer a mere VP — I have been elected president! A short summary of my previous letters: I’m on the board of a small organization and we’re all volunteers. There were issues with our webmaster and our website, but the previous president wasn’t wanting to muck around with the site. I understand his reasons but I disagreed with him about it. At our 2024 convention, the (now former) president announced that he was not running for reelection and that I was running for president. The webmaster pulled me aside after this and told me that he was planning to retire, …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Does this new job really involve this much travel? I am considering leaving my in-office job to take a remote job working from home that has a 25% travel requirement. I’m currently interviewing with the company and asked if 25% was accurate or a worst case scenario. The response was one or two international trips a year for two to three weeks! And occasional Monday-Thursday trips throughout the year, possibly as often as monthly. As a mom of two elementary-age kids, being gone for extended periods of time is not something I want to do, nor is it fair for my husband to have to be a single parent for three-week stretche…

A reader writes: I was called in to a last-minute end-of-day meeting yesterday … that ended up being with my boss, his boss, and HR. They told me that I’ve been accused of making sexist and ageist comments at work, and I’m baffled. I’ve been wracking my brain and can’t figure out what they could be referring to, AND THEY REFUSE TO TELL ME. They won’t even give me a hint. They basically said, “Think about what it might have been and don’t do it again or your job is at risk.” I don’t know whether it was one complaint or many, or even if it’s true at all (there is one person at work I think might be trying to get me fired.) How do I defend and/or protect myself? Or, if it’…

A reader writes: My brother (Gen Z/millennial cusp) has been out of work (and stuck living back home with my parents) for a while now, and everyone is understandably frustrated with the situation. A couple times my mom (boomer) and I (millennial) have been one-on-one and she’s brought up the situation, and she’s said that she has told my brother to just “go show up in person to places you’d like to get a job at and try to hand in your resume!” Every single one of my millennial instincts is screaming NO NO NO, this is CLASSIC out-of-touch boomer advice from when we were trying to get jobs during the Great Recession. I told my mom that yeah, that doesn’t really work now …

Here are three recent success stories submitted by readers. 1. A successful raise request I wanted to share that I used your advice for asking for a raise to successfully increase my salary. I presented salary surveys from nonprofit industry groups and local job postings for similar positions that showed my old salary was low compared to current listings in my metro area. In the end, I received a 9% raise, which I feel pretty good about. It isn’t as much as I hoped, but my supervisor did acknowledge it was the most they could give me at this time and that at first the proposed raise from HR was 6%. 2. A successful salary negotiation This is not me but my Gen Z daughte…

A reader writes: Do you have any guidance on asking for feedback on a job application when you weren’t selected for an interview? I’m aware that I’m unlikely to get a candid answer and perhaps some of my frustration is borne out of feeling like I’m continually applying for jobs where I meet all of the criteria, and can provide examples, but not really getting anywhere. You can try, but you’re unlikely to get substantive feedback. You’re more likely to get someone willing to give you feedback after an interview because at that point they’ve talked with you one-on-one and there’s more of a connection. Even then, a lot of managers won’t give you any truly meaningful feedba…