Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I am hiring for a position that is fairly entry-level office work. A candidate, who is fairly young, lists two positions in the past decade which they were fired from. They were post-college full-time positions, not high school summer jobs where turnover would be expected to be high and where the job may not be a huge priority for the employee. This seems like a lot. I would follow up with a reference check to get more details if I move this candidate forward, but I’m not sure if I should just disqualify them. If it matters, there are other candidates I’m leaning toward, but this candidate is currently in my top tier in terms of skills and experience. I…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. What’s our responsibility when a board member gets scammed? I just joined the board of a nonprofit and at my very first meeting today learned about a mess that we’re in. There are about a dozen members of the board and I’m coming in as an executive member, of which there are four. Apparently, one of the “at large” members of the board received some emails about six weeks ago from the outgoing president about two urgent invoices that needed to be paid, had to happen today, had to be paid online and won’t accept a check, can you please pay it immediately, I’m cc’ing the treasurer who will reimburse you in three business …

I’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Should you hire employees to babysit? I help supervise a group of about 20 student workers at a college. Most of them know I have a one-year-old and some of them really love babies (I sometimes bring him by during my non-work hours briefly to make their day). I’ve had at least two workers tell me they’d love to babysit. They’re good responsible workers, but I’ve been uncertain as to the advisability of that and haven’t followed up on their offers. This is likely to come up again as new students come in and learn I have a child. My gut says that babys…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My husband says it’s inappropriate to dine or carpool with my boss I have a great relationship with my boss. He is incredibly supportive of my professional growth and is a good mentor. We work well together on projects and complement each other’s skills. We’ve built a great team and are very intentional about culture. Relationships are incredibly important in our field. Some context: He is a man, I am a woman, and he’s about 10 years older than me. My husband hates my boss, and he’s not shy about it. He says my boss doesn’t look him in the eye or shake his hand when they run into each other at work functions. He alway…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who felt guilty about retiring at such a hard moment for her colleagues? Here’s the update. First, I want to say whole-heartedly that I really valued all of the advice offered, and the various ways in which my anxiety about retiring was reframed helped me move forward and quiet the guilt I was feeling. Thank you all for all of the advice, and for taking the time and putting together your thoughts to offer it. …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My job wants me to hit up everyone I know for money and other help So it’s been a bit of a twisty path since I wrote in. I’ll start by thanking Alison and the commentariat for really helpful advice. The small group meetings with the explicit purpose of sharing our personal contacts and their locations kept being postponed. Casual discussions about the principles of the project continued during other meetings, and I began to lay the groundwork suggested in the advice and dis…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My allergic colleague has food demands I can’t meet One of my job responsibilities is planning and ordering catering for all of my office’s meetings, trainings, gatherings, and the annual regional corporate holiday party. I’ve taken account of everyone’s dietary restrictions, and I make sure that the restaurants or catering companies always adhere to these specifications and restrictions, whether they are ethical, religious, or allergy. I send a menu out to those with restrictions and make sure that they feel they have enough to eat and are taken c…

Here are my favorite posts of 2025, in no particular order: 1. my employee keeps insisting he looks much younger than he is (but he doesn’t) Because humans are weird, and I love that. 2. good things that came from socializing with coworkers: marriages, dog adoptions, and more Because this was heart-warming, and these things are easy to overlook. 3. how much deference do good managers want from employees? Because breaking down this kind of question is one of my favorite things. 4. my team doesn’t want to work for a client whose politics they disagree with Because a lot of people are grappling with this right now. 5. my colleagues are upset that we’re not “speaking…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asked whether they’d been wrong not to interview a problematic volunteer for a paid job? Here’s the update. You and the commenters were extremely helpful. I was reassured that the decision itself was not inappropriate, but better communication would have helped a lot along the way (isn’t that always the case?). One of the first things I did was go back and re-read the personalized rejection I had sent Stephan…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who asked how to adjust to returning to the office after working from home for five years? Here’s the update. It’s now been almost five months since the 50% in-office mandate began, and it has been … an adjustment, but not nearly as difficult as I anticipated. I ended up choosing to spend one work week of the pay period in the office, and the other work week at home. (For context, the work week for our state government agencies is Wednesday through Tuesday, so that means I go in on Wednesday, Thurs…

A reader writes: I need to partner with a team whose manager rejected me for a job, and I’m struggling to have a positive attitude. A year ago, I applied to an internal role for which I met 90% of the criteria on the nose. It was a team doing the same work as I did but in another part of the company, and the gap in qualifications was akin to having experience grooming llamas but not alpacas – it’s highly transferrable. I have great performance reviews, scoring the elusive 5/5, and I had completed an internal leadership program that is supposed to highlight me as a candidate for internal roles. I didn’t expect to be handed the role but I did think I was a strong internal…

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2014. A reader writes: I started the position I’m in just 2 months ago as an account executive. Before this position, I was an admin assistant and volunteer coordinator elsewhere. I am also 23, I’ve been working since I was 14 and been in office roles since the age of 19 – meaning I’ve been working long enough to pick up on office politics, and to avoid dramas. Quick background of my current workplace: 12 full-time employees. Most employees have worked there for over 2 years. Some 6 years. Pretty much everyone is close but nice, and I’m the newest and the youngest. I’m …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I left work because no one would let me in I (19-year-old female) recently ghosted my job at McDonalds because my coworkers would lock me out at 5 in the morning. Why? I’m not completely sure, I’m guessing it was to keep the customers out but again, I’m not completely sure. All I know is that Every. Single. Time. they scheduled me to work at 5am, I would always be locked out the building and it would always take me roughly 10-25 minutes to get in the building without breaking the door down, blowing up the phone, or climbing through the drive-through window. Going to the drive-through didn’t help either because nobody i…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it reasonable to ask teams to “host” coffee hours? My new-ish boss implemented division-wide monthly coffee hours when he started a couple years ago, and it’s been a nice way to get out of your office and talk to others (our division is spread out on a college campus). Due to cost-cutting measures, he is no longer able to spend the small amount of money for these events. Instead, we are asking teams within the division to “host” coffee hours by bringing food in. The administrative assistant is able to help brew coffee, set up, and clean up. This does not seem unreasonable to me, and I signed my team up to host, imag…

Earlier this month, we talked about times when coworkers have really overshared at work, and here are 10 of the most ridiculous stories you shared. 1. The wireless mike At a local stage production, while the audience sat quietly in the darkened theater awaiting the start of the show, a graphic description of the previous night’s one-night stand, including groans of subsequent aches and chafing, clearly came out over the leading lady’s wireless microphone clipped to her costume as she relieved herself on the toilet. 2. The skit I used to be a teacher at a prison — very odd population of people, a mix of mercenaries, martyrs, and misfits. For a statewide conference, the…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: Would you consider an Ask the Readers on what people wish they’d known when they first became managers? I’ve just stepped into my first leadership role, moving from being a highly regarded individual contributor (who task managed teams for different projects) to actually managing a small department and wow, it’s a much bigger shift than I expected. I’d love to hear what helped others get over that hump, what made things easier, what surprised them, and what they wish they’d known earlier. Bonus points for advice on: • Managing people who’ve been on the team for years but weren’t hired for this role despite…

Remember the letter-writer who asked if they had crossed a line with the (messy, chaotic) organization they volunteered for? Here’s the update. I’m the person who was angry about an Instagram post from the nonprofit that I was volunteering at. Duncan and Isadora did leave the board, although they still volunteered on a lower level. You mentioned that the nonprofit might not have great results towards its mission, and the truth is that the results are mixed. The organization’s goals are met, for the most part, but not without the great over-efforts of five or six people, myself included (which had earned me the nickname “Superstar” within the org). Things came to a head …

A reader writes: A colleague and I were recently interviewing candidates for an entry-level position and, at the beginning of one of the interviews, the candidate asked if they could disclose something before we got started, then said that they were on the autism spectrum. My colleague jumped in and explained that while they appreciated the candidate’s desire for transparency, we shouldn’t know that up-front because legally we cannot deny employment to someone on the basis of any kind of medical diagnosis, and including that information during an interview makes everything much more complicated. My colleague and I debriefed after the interview, and we ultimately decided…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I have to co-manage with my husband My husband and I work for the same organization and live in a VERY small tourist town in the U.S. (~600 year-round residents and we live about an hour from a Wal-Mart or big box store). Our organization receives (received) a lot of federal funding. Most of that funding has been cut so we’re looking at downsizing and layoffs. Right now, my husband and I are managers in related but separate departments (think: youth outreach vs. adult education). His department is him and another full-time manager who supervise three full-timers and some seasonal employees, and my department has sligh…

A reader writes: I started my job in 2023 and became good friends with Ellie. We have similar roles, but different divisions, so rarely overlapped. We bonded over being unhappy in our roles and having a shared male “mentor,” who turned out to be quite the creep (he ended up leaving before we did). We both ultimately made plans to leave that job, she a little before me. During our friendship, I did sometimes notice she could be a bit immature (framing everything in terms of “high-school cliques”) which I just sort of laughed off/ignored. I also got the sense she was pushing me to leave my job, less so because it was good for me, but because she wanted our office to “take…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is dating a teenager I work in retail and have younger coworkers rotate through on a regular basis. Think late teens to early twenties. I am significantly older than them and often offer general life advice or encouragement. One of my coworkers (22) can be a bit sporadic. He’s a hard worker and fairly cheerful person but on rare occasions he makes really stupid decisions without thinking of the consequences. Previous problems include gambling more than he should have, not showing up for work, and slashing his roommate’s tires after an argument. I’m aware that this makes him sound like a nightmare but it is…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Can I confiscate my coworkers’ screaming monkey toy? Today, as has happened multiple times in the last few months, some of my nearby coworkers in our relatively small satellite office decided to play catch with this “screaming monkey toy.” The noise it makes is outrageously loud, especially in our small space, and I’ve previously indicated (politely) to coworkers that I find the noise not only distracting, but extremely annoying. After the first time, I asked them if they could please make an effort to not set the toy off, because of those reasons…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My employee warned me he has a problem with authority Six years ago, I took a job in a new department. At the time, I only had two years of managing experience and I was eager to not step on the toes of my new four-person team, who had a combined total of 85 years of experience. On my first day and in my first meeting with my employee Fergus, he smirked and opened with, “You should know I have a problem with authority.” To his credit, he was not lying. It’s a nightmare to deal with him but he does just enough to not be let go (we work for the gover…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the CEO who kept asking young male employees to try her breast milk (!!)? Here’s the update. I recently wrote in about my CEO offering her breast milk to staff. The staff member most impacted elected to write a letter to the board. About 95% of union members decided to sign on to the letter, with many of them writing their own letters describing favoritism and lack of accountability on the part of the CEO. The whole board rece…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Everyone likes me, so why am I not in the group chat? Well, I’m still not in the group chat, so I’m sorry to say I can’t report if it’s really about medieval falconry as discussed in the comments :-) I’m still happy at the job and have not asked to be included or started a new chat or anything like it. You and several commenters suggested I could just leave it be and that’s what I did.…