Performance Tracking and Feedback

Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared about holidays at work over the past month. 1. The succulent For several years I managed a team who were all at individual satellite offices. During my site visits over the holidays, I gave them all little gift baskets which included a small, fake succulent (most of the offices didn’t have windows). On a subsequent visit about six months later, I found out that one employee had been watering hers every day, and was proud to show me how healthy it still looked. Fortunately, she thought it was hilarious when she found out it was artificial, and it brought the whole team a lot of joy. 2. The panda onesie Our new vice preside…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Can I report my coworker’s drunken, racist aggression outside of work? My two coworkers and I discussed the weekend’s events and ended up reporting the incident with Fergus the very next day. My boss was horrified and immediately had him sent on a flight back to his home country that evening, and told Fergus’s manager that regardless of the outcome, he was not welcome in our country program again and he wanted another teammate assigned to our program. It turns out, Fergus h…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My allergic colleague has food demands I can’t meet One of my job responsibilities is planning and ordering catering for all of my office’s meetings, trainings, gatherings, and the annual regional corporate holiday party. I’ve taken account of everyone’s dietary restrictions, and I make sure that the restaurants or catering companies always adhere to these specifications and restrictions, whether they are ethical, religious, or allergy. I send a menu out to those with restrictions and make sure that they feel they have enough to eat and are taken c…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 20-21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Coworkers are bringing kids to work but keeping it a secret from our boss I work in a small, open concept office and I am having issues with my coworker bringing children to work. My coworker “Sansa” has a grandchild the same age as the son of another one of my coworkers, “Arya.” The boys are best friends and they attended the same (all-day) preschool. There were several times over the course of the summer that the boys were present in the office, sometimes for the entire day, between times when their summer camps was not in session and my boss was…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My manager set up a secret email address using my name I work at a community college. All regular employees at the college are assigned email addresses that begin with our last name. My email, for example, is LastName_FirstName_MiddleInitial@collegename.edu. In Outlook, if someone sends an email to a non-existent address, they will receive an “undeliverable” auto-reply. Several people have tried to email me using an incorrect email format (FirstNameLastName@collegename.edu). The incorrect email format doesn’t conform with the college email, so I a…

It’s probably the most frustrating part of job searching: you have an interview that seemed to go great, you nailed every question and felt rapport with you interviewer, they seemed impressed and said they’d be in touch soon, and then … silence. Do you follow up with them? Did you wait for them to get in touch? Will you ever hear back? What happened? At New York Magazine, I wrote about what to do when an interview goes great but then you don’t hear anything. You can read it here. The post why haven’t I heard back after my interview? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose new employee felt excluded on a well-meaning but cliquey team? Here’s the update. I had actually done some of the things you suggested when Anya joined (e.g., organizing a Teams call before she started so she could ask me questions and briefly meet the rest of the team before she started, having a team lunch in the staff cafeteria on her first day with us in the office, setting up coffee meetings with each member of the team in her first couple of weeks, designating an official buddy in anoth…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 26, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 27-28, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose boss (Ned) and she shared an office with a volatile jerk (Peter)? Here’s the update. After my letter was published, I spoke to Ned and told him I would not be assisting Peter further, which he fully supported. I started referring Peter to his adult children for assistance, which left him huffy but he stopped bothering me. He also began spending more and more time away from the office and out of state, “working” on their joint venture. As for Peter and Ned, their business relationship has end…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My promotion was canceled because of budget … but I’m still doing the work Ultimately, my promotion did end up going through! My manager really went to bat for me and pointed out the terrible optics of cancelling promotions that were already announced to people, and was able to get the decision reversed. I’m really thankful that I have such a great manager who was willing and able to stand up for us, and that the lab leadership listened and made a change. I did talk to my m…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering whether to suggest that their employee rethink her career path? (They were having to outsource a large report she should have been responsible for because of the quality of her work.) Here’s the update. Mindy is still with our organization, but possibly not for much longer. We ended up not outsourcing the report, but I had several conversations with her over the course of this year about her growth with the organization, as she’d requested a promotion to a senior manager role — a position…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My vegan coworker is upset about getting non-vegan gifts three years in a row (first update) I saw some comments on the update I sent in before (about my coworker who cluelessly gave a vegan coworker three non-vegan gifts) wanted to know what Marie would get Liz for Christmas this year, haha. Liz ended up leaving the company in October for another job, so alas, no Christmas gift story, but we did have a farewell lunch for Liz and Marie gave her a book of plant-based recipes…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss commented on my work with a puke emoji I work in a PR agency and we are planning a webinar for our most important client. These recent weeks have been kind of a nightmare, because everyone is working remotely for the first time (due to COVID-19) and my boss wants to deliver the best webinar as expected. We keep communicating via Skype. Today I received some bad feedback from my boss about something I made for the webinar, but she finished her comments with three emojis: a “doh,” a “puke,” and an “angry face.” I can handle bad feedback, but…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who took a job with less responsibility and her coworkers were treating her like she had no experience? Here’s the update. It turns out the part where you asked why it mattered was the crux of the issue. At the time I wrote, we had just hired the woman who told me she had a degree in marketing and “actually knew about this stuff.” She was older than me and a little odd, but I thought she was cool and admired her amazing work ethic. She had a habit of giving me unsolicited advice, like “when you are…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – January 3-4, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: My company recently hired a new employee who has been a problem. We were hesitant to hire her to begin with — she didn’t have glowing recommendations and she’s got a patchy work history, but she has experience in the one thing we can’t train on right now, so we hired her reluctantly. It turns out she’s an over-sharer on social media: Every single detail of her day is listed in a giant personal social media post at least three or four times a day, and she tags everyone she comes in contact with: businesses, products, people. It’s unusual. She has been very opinionated about how we do things and doesn’t really want to participate in feedback or training. …

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My new employer won’t let me wear my wedding ring I’m getting ready to start my new job in a fast-moving but rather conservative industry. I’m starting as an assistant but have the possibility of advancing up to management throughout my career here. Last week, I had a meeting with the woman who is going to be my supervisor and we finalized things like my salary, work hours, etc. She also spent a significant amount of time making sure I understood the dress code, as it is very strict, even stricter than many other offices. There were things like onl…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was asked out on LinkedIn (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. It was really interesting seeing the commentariat split. I come from a family with a lot of public and semi-public figures (think your local news station’s traffic guy rather than, like, celebrity nepo baby) and unfortunately, we’ve dealt with actual stalkers that required police involvement before, so I’ll admit to being on higher alert to bei…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose CEO was demanding everyone return to the office but people didn’t want to — and they were a manager stuck in the middle? Here’s the update. Just a few months after my letter was published … my team imploded. My boss decided after 10 years of service to leave the company to focus on his family, and due to the terrible state my industry is in right now, my team of 12 is now just three, including me. Losing…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My coworker accidentally linked her nudes to our team Photoshop account I wanted to add that the nudes in question included not only my coworker herself, but also her boyfriend! Anyway, the day after our manager alerted my coworker to the nudes issue, they had a meeting where my coworker assured him that she managed to unlink her photos and apologized for the indiscretion and for “whatever you may have seen.” Manager said he had no idea what she was talking about and prompt…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My ex works at my new job I recently got a new job (medical field) that I was very excited for. The thing is that even after turning down other offers, I have terrible luck — out of all the jobs, I accepted the offer that put me in the same room as my ex. The break-up wasn’t great. I got ghosted. So in retaliation, I made myself visible by texting her and sending friend requests on all social media (nothing mean, it was all about what her friendship meant to me). I know, childish on my part and pretty much got blocked on everything. I moved on. Bu…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was worried that their boss and HR were laying a paper trail to fire them (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. I know that people like updates, so I thought I would write back once I passed the six-month mark of that meeting (and then some), to see if there was ever the follow-up that I was told there would be. Well, there has not been any follow-up meeting scheduled or even any reference to the first meeting having happened, so I think it probably was just a one-off and my boss may have even f…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker cheated in our virtual Jeopardy tournament A couple years ago, just for fun, a coworker started a virtual Jeopardy tournament which anyone in the company could participate in. It was the usual setup: three contestants (with cameras on), the coworker hosting, and an audience tuned in once a week. One contestant, “Kurt,” was the reigning champion. The man could not be beat. Until, after a few weeks, there was some speculation that Kurt was not abiding by the honor system and had Google up on his screen. The theory was finally confirmed when there was a question about an obscure national bird. After a pause with…