Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was worried that their boss and HR were laying a paper trail to fire them (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. I know that people like updates, so I thought I would write back once I passed the six-month mark of that meeting (and then some), to see if there was ever the follow-up that I was told there would be. Well, there has not been any follow-up meeting scheduled or even any reference to the first meeting having happened, so I think it probably was just a one-off and my boss may have even f…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My promotion was canceled because of budget … but I’m still doing the work Ultimately, my promotion did end up going through! My manager really went to bat for me and pointed out the terrible optics of cancelling promotions that were already announced to people, and was able to get the decision reversed. I’m really thankful that I have such a great manager who was willing and able to stand up for us, and that the lab leadership listened and made a change. I did talk to my m…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose boss (Ned) and she shared an office with a volatile jerk (Peter)? Here’s the update. After my letter was published, I spoke to Ned and told him I would not be assisting Peter further, which he fully supported. I started referring Peter to his adult children for assistance, which left him huffy but he stopped bothering me. He also began spending more and more time away from the office and out of state, “working” on their joint venture. As for Peter and Ned, their business relationship has end…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Employer is angry that I didn’t show up for an interview I didn’t know about There is a job I really want. I applied and didn’t hear back for a while. After a few months, they emailed me stating that my interview would be on X date with no time nor location. They had scheduled it for the next day and it was already evening. I wasn’t in town and wouldn’t be back until the next week. I sent an email in reply, letting them know and that I would be happy to reschedule. Fast forward to today, which is five days later. Last night they sent me an email w…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 27-28, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 26, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My ex works at my new job I recently got a new job (medical field) that I was very excited for. The thing is that even after turning down other offers, I have terrible luck — out of all the jobs, I accepted the offer that put me in the same room as my ex. The break-up wasn’t great. I got ghosted. So in retaliation, I made myself visible by texting her and sending friend requests on all social media (nothing mean, it was all about what her friendship meant to me). I know, childish on my part and pretty much got blocked on everything. I moved on. Bu…

A couple of years ago, someone shared what I consider to be the best holiday date story of all time, and it must be shared here again. Enjoy: When I was fresh out of college, a dude in my social circle invited me to his fancy work Christmas party. He was a teacher, so I’d kind of assumed I was there as friend to act as a buffer between well-intentioned female colleagues who wanted to set him up with one another, with their daughters, etc. I was wrong! This invitation to a work Christmas party was meant to be the first date of a magical relationship between two people destined to be together. Why a magical relationship? When I opened the door, he said he’d hope we’d have …

A reader writes: I was the original poster who wrote about the hometown hero American Idol contestant. Every time it has been posted, lots of people guess who it was or hope it was their favorite. And I have kind of wanted to let everyone believe it was their guy. But also, maybe the actual guy and his family should get the accolades. It was Christmas 2008 at Children’s Hospital Colorado, and it was Ace Young and his family. As I said, I had never watched the show but knew of him. But he had serious charisma. And distractingly bright blue eyes. I still remember how many grown adults giggled and blushed. The post the identify of the hometown hero is revealed appear…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who asked how to adjust to returning to the office after working from home for five years? Here’s the update. It’s now been almost five months since the 50% in-office mandate began, and it has been … an adjustment, but not nearly as difficult as I anticipated. I ended up choosing to spend one work week of the pay period in the office, and the other work week at home. (For context, the work week for our state government agencies is Wednesday through Tuesday, so that means I go in on Wednesday, Thurs…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose manager posted a “wall of shame” of people who didn’t volunteer to work more? Here’s the update. I wrote in a few years ago about a new supervisor and her approach to mandated “voluntary” overtime as a registered nurse in a hospital. Since then, that supervisor has stepped back into a staff nursing role and she’s happier for it. We’re still friends so I’m also happy about that! She’s a great nurse who tried a new role that wasn’t right for her. A new supervisor was hired from outside. She was…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My employee wants to know where I am at all times I started a new management role three months ago and am managing a small team. One of my staff was under-performing when I started, and one of my directives was to get them on a coaching plan, which I have. As a result, they have made complaints that I’m out to get them. Luckily I’ve been documenting everything, and my boss has my back. My boss had a skip-level meeting with them to allow them to air their grievances. During this, they mentioned that my boss and I should always let them know when we…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My coworker accidentally linked her nudes to our team Photoshop account I wanted to add that the nudes in question included not only my coworker herself, but also her boyfriend! Anyway, the day after our manager alerted my coworker to the nudes issue, they had a meeting where my coworker assured him that she managed to unlink her photos and apologized for the indiscretion and for “whatever you may have seen.” Manager said he had no idea what she was talking about and prompt…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose employees were being cruel to a gross coworker? Here’s the update. I fear this won’t be a very satisfying update. As I sat at my desk and read your email asking about an update, I took a few moments to look up from my screen and across the office to watch Meredith. Within those few seconds, I saw her pick a scab off her face and eat it. So yeah. I had my first conversation with Meredith months ago. Our job is one that exposes us to food, biological material, and chemicals, so at the sugges…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose new employee felt excluded on a well-meaning but cliquey team? Here’s the update. I had actually done some of the things you suggested when Anya joined (e.g., organizing a Teams call before she started so she could ask me questions and briefly meet the rest of the team before she started, having a team lunch in the staff cafeteria on her first day with us in the office, setting up coffee meetings with each member of the team in her first couple of weeks, designating an official buddy in anoth…

It’s probably the most frustrating part of job searching: you have an interview that seemed to go great, you nailed every question and felt rapport with you interviewer, they seemed impressed and said they’d be in touch soon, and then … silence. Do you follow up with them? Did you wait for them to get in touch? Will you ever hear back? What happened? At New York Magazine, I wrote about what to do when an interview goes great but then you don’t hear anything. You can read it here. The post why haven’t I heard back after my interview? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose new boss told them not to take all their PTO each year? Here’s the update. I appreciated your advice, as well as the commentary from the reader community. Your reply was spot on to how I felt as well — vacation time was part of my compensation package, and them backtracking verbally after agreeing to it in an official offer that I signed felt very, very wrong. I had also declined another offer to take this one, so I felt betrayed in a sense with a bait and switch. I was so incredibly thankfu…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My manager set up a secret email address using my name I work at a community college. All regular employees at the college are assigned email addresses that begin with our last name. My email, for example, is LastName_FirstName_MiddleInitial@collegename.edu. In Outlook, if someone sends an email to a non-existent address, they will receive an “undeliverable” auto-reply. Several people have tried to email me using an incorrect email format (FirstNameLastName@collegename.edu). The incorrect email format doesn’t conform with the college email, so I a…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My team received a suspicious text — and we wonder if our boss sent it as a way to secretly gain info It was reassuring to hear from you and the readers that I wasn’t being paranoid about the text. Unfortunately, the truth behind the mystery text remains unknown, though the official story is that it was “legit.” Shortly after your response, my manager ended up addressing the team, sayi…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was the chair of a board and had one board volunteer making everyone’s jobs harder because of his struggles with technology? Here’s the update. I found your advice and the advice in the comments very helpful. To start, I wanted to clear up something that that came up in the comments: this is not a 501(c) organization, though we do volunteer work for them. I fudged some of the details to make my story less recognizable, but this is actually an employer-sponsored affinity group. So no, there is …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose CEO was demanding everyone return to the office but people didn’t want to — and they were a manager stuck in the middle? Here’s the update. Just a few months after my letter was published … my team imploded. My boss decided after 10 years of service to leave the company to focus on his family, and due to the terrible state my industry is in right now, my team of 12 is now just three, including me. Losing…

A reader writes: The team I manage is very small. I am the youngest there and sometimes feel insecure about being the boss. Today in a meeting, a long-term employee who’s been here 15 years (much longer than me) announced that he would take steps to solve a certain issue. The issue needs to be addressed, his solution is good, and I appreciate him taking initiative. Nevertheless, I am not sure how to react to him just pointing out that he will handle something without speaking to me beforehand. How should I proceed? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and so…

Here are the posts that interested people the most in 2025, via two lists: the most viewed posts and the most commented on posts. Most viewed posts of 2025: 10. my employee keeps insisting he looks much younger than he is (but he doesn’t) 9. I rejected a student’s advances, but his parents are mad at me 8. my coworkers have way more money than me … and they constantly expect me to shell out cash for meals and gifts 7. I don’t want to babysit my brother in my office 6. updates: martial arts at work, coworker hates me, and more 5. our Gen Z employees want to be coddled and are struggling with the realities of work 4. I manage a terrible slob — how can I convince her…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Coworkers are bringing kids to work but keeping it a secret from our boss I work in a small, open concept office and I am having issues with my coworker bringing children to work. My coworker “Sansa” has a grandchild the same age as the son of another one of my coworkers, “Arya.” The boys are best friends and they attended the same (all-day) preschool. There were several times over the course of the summer that the boys were present in the office, sometimes for the entire day, between times when their summer camps was not in session and my boss was…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 20-21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article