Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I want your help in understanding what, if anything, I can/should do about the way my boss talks about herself. I like my boss, but it’s exhausting! My organization recently went through huge layoffs, so everyone feels overworked and off-balance. As part of that I got a new boss. I get the feeling she’s nervous about doing a good job, and wants us all to like her. I do like her! But during 1-1s and team meetings, she tends to monologue — and it’s all overly personal, self-deprecating, or sad. Too-intimate details about her personal health, negative comments about her body, “funny” st…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How to get someone to say what they want on Teams chat, not just say “hi” I’m looking for a polite script to nip a problem in the bud. I started a new job today, and a colleague with whom I’ll be working closely just messaged me saying, “Hi.” To find out this was all she said, I had to put in a long password to open the app, just to find nothing actionable. She still hasn’t sent me the information I need about where to meet tomorrow, so I guess she’s holding off until I reply “hi.” I really don’t want to encourage this kind of empty message leading…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: For some reason — largely due to how bad the job market currently is for replaceable lifelong individual contributors — I’ve been following one of those quasi-influencer recruiter types on LinkedIn for a little while. Some of his advice is decent, and at the very least he pokes fun of all the problems with job-seeking in 2025. But this appeared on my LinkedIn feed just now: “Your job title matters. If your company gave you an internal title that no one understands, tweak it to something more industry-standard. Just keep it accurate…don’t inflate it. Your resume should be clear to an …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. At a time when many Americans are struggling with rising costs of living, too many corporate executives are making it clear that they have no idea what life is like for their employees. We regularly hear accounts at AAM of out-of-touch executives who have alienated large portions of their workforce – often via clueless displays of wealth at the exact same time that they’re laying off employees, increasing health insurance costs, or otherwise squeezing their workers. At Slate today, I share some shocking examples of this, and talk about how it hurts both employers and employees. You can read it here. …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is a community organizing issue, but it is ultimately about working closely with someone where there’s conflict, and one where I think a professional approach might be most useful. I (they/them) am a leader in a social justice-oriented community organization along with someone I’ll call Paul (he/they). We have the same type of leadership position, and we’re both quite active so we communicate daily and are in meetings at least once a week. We’ve been in conflict for four months, since I told Paul that the way Paul interrupts, criticizes, corrects, scolds, and dismisses me and ot…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I speak up about an inappropriate song in children’s theater? I’m a volunteer in a community theater production for young children between five and seven years old. Our current show involves a dance number that takes place in ancient Egypt, and there’s a recent change to the production that I feel uncomfortable with. The children were originally dancing to “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the Bangles, but then the coordinator changed it by “popular demand” to a different song called “Camel by Camel.” This decision on its own seems innocuous albeit …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Show Don’t Tell, by Curtis Sittenfeld. I will read anything Curtis Sittenfeld writes, including short stories, which normal frustrate me for being … short. As she has moved into middle age, so have many of her characters, including one story that revisits the protagonist from her novel Prep. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use that link. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Perks for remote employees only Our company works mostly remotely. Employees who live locally come in one day a week. A few departments’ employees are allowed to live elsewhere in the country (this rule does not apply to all departments). Several times a year, all staff are required to come into the office for the full week. Employees who live outside the area get paid hotel rooms near the office, and expense all of their meals. Local employees, however, are required to pay for their lunch every day, as well as the additional costs of commuting for …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work for a company that has around 600 employees and several offices in a few different countries. Recently a different office was refurbished, and during the refurbishment all the employees who worked there had to work from home. It ended up taking longer than planned and they were all working from home for around two and a half weeks. Our employer is very pro-working-from-home, and I’m one of a small handful of employees who works in an office every day. I like office working, but part of the reason I do it every day is that I live in a shared apartment in an expensive city where…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My friend accused me of getting him fired, but I didn’t (#3 at the link) Thanks again for publishing my question. I was nervous about submitting it but your advice helped me realize that my fellow writer and friend knew the risks of what he was doing by going against our employer’s company policy. I also realized through the comments section that I didn’t fully explain what this policy meant! As with other media outlets, our employer publication strictly forbids us from accepting trips, dinners, or expensive gifts from businesses or individuals in e…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I’d appreciate your and other workers’ advice on how to cope providing service when you are feeling fragile yourself. I work in a somewhat frazzled, frantic healthcare environment seeing around 30 patients a day in an inner city, low income area. It’s … a lot — with very demanding patients. But I mostly enjoy it. It’s not amazingly well paid, but it pays the bills. My family is going through our own problems at the moment due to our teen’s mental health issues. There are some days before I even get to work where I’ve had to cope with an …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee isn’t clearing decisions with me and argued with me at a staff meeting I am the executive director of a nonprofit, without any formal management training. I raised $1.5 million last year and we now have some new staff people, including a male technical expert who makes more money than I do (but reports to me). Today he got excited about attending a trade expo that I had previously considered and didn’t assign anyone to go to, because the demographics are on the young side for our program, so it’s not a top priority. My employee got invit…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I need help figuring out how to point out to someone they haven’t answered my question in a way that doesn’t sound rude. I’m a 40-year-old woman who has recently been diagnosed with both ADHD and auditory processing disorder. I’ve found that this is the reason why I have a hard time holding a lot of verbal information in my head. And this is why for my entire life I’ve been dealing with a communication problem that I don’t know how to handle. The problem is this: I ask someone a question, but they don’t answer my question. They reply with a word salad of vagueness and unnecessary in…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose boss never praised their work? Here’s the update. My undying thanks to you and all the commentariat for your compassionate take and excellent advice: I needed to get out of that job. It was advice that didn’t land well at the time, because my morale was so shot that I didn’t even see the point in job-hunting. How could I hope to get a better job when I’d clearly never gotten good at this one, which was for an organization I adored, using the skill set I was educated in? Still, where self-esteem fails, spite finds a way. Every time my boss did something that made me w…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in a small workplace, we’re about 40 employees. When I started at the company about five years ago, I started ordering granola bars and some treats. Then I started adding on some fizzy drinks and then progressed to some other snacks, like nuts, fruits, and cookies. None of this is supposed to be the only food people eat, but it’s nice to have some quick to grab in the middle of a busy day. I have an employee now who manages the stocking of this, plus coffee, tea, milk, and cream. An issue has arisen because we have a coworker who is vegan and he’s decided that we need to stop …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker doesn’t want to report our boss for harassment Recently a coworker shared information with me about some pretty egregious sexual comments our mutual boss made. My personal feeling is that she needs to share this with HR and/or our company leadership team (we are a small startup with less than 50 employees, going to leadership would be fine). She has said she’ll consider it but she just needed to tell someone. Then she asked that I tell no one. I want to tell our HR anyway because there should be an investigation and/or consequences. Wha…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I would really love your opinion on how we handled this hiring process — and on the subsequent fallout. I work for a public library that has a very large volunteer base and a small paid staff. When we have a job opening, which is rare, volunteers are welcome to apply. We traditionally grant them a phone interview (i.e., they make the first cut) as a courtesy, though that is not official policy. A few volunteers have been hired over the years, most recently about three years ago. One volunteer, Stephanie, has applied twice (two years apart) and made it to an in-person interview (seco…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: In the past year or two, quite a few people (typically middle-aged men) have been reaching out to me via LinkedIn (I am a 20-something woman) trying to recruit me. While I do have a lot of experience, I’m wondering if it’s odd that some of these professionals are reaching out to me, as I am under the impression it should be the other way around. They are the ones with the experience and connections while I’m the one building my network. My settings are set to the “not seeking a job” setting, and it’s clear on my profile that I am currently employed, and yet I still receive these fairl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I feel bananas asking this, but could you give me a read on how/whether people still use phones in office/remote office work in 2025? I have a fully remote, customer-focused job for a tiny organization, and no one on my team will use phones. I have the most customer interactions and am willing to answer my phone if one calls, but I wind up getting calls for everyone on my team, because none of my colleagues will pick up their phones or even return voicemails. At most, they will email and agree to schedule a Zoom, but mainly they just ignore calls entirely. I don’t mind helping out, …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My mentee was fired for using a vulgar term I work in a regulated industry and there are specific education and license requirements to work here. My company has a mentorship program for those who are new to the industry. I am one of those with the highest non-management title at my company, and my manager encouraged me sign up for the program. I was assigned an entry-level employee from my company, “Wendy.” I thought things were going well. Wendy was bright and on the ball. But Wendy was let go from her job and I’m wondering if I should have done …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about weird hills to die on — people who became so strongly committed to a minor fight that they lost all sight of logic and decorum — and here are 10 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The newsletter Our Fortune 500 company hosted a weekend company-wide softball tourney, which was won by a team led by a guy known around the office as Hothead. Monday morning arrives and the company-wide daily email goes out with important company announcements. One of the items included was the results of the previous weekend’s softball tourney. Hothead was livid about the fact that it include…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’ve got an employee who had a weird encounter with another employee. It wasn’t harassment but it’s made her feel uncomfortable whenever he’s around. She doesn’t want to make a complaint though. Is there anything we can do if there’s no complaint made? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there today include: Telling employees to stop taking guidance from coworker…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work at a small creative business with about 25 employees, Our structure is pretty flat, and there is no traditional HR or processes that come with working at larger organizations. There are three main departments. I run one, and my coworker who I am writing about, Maggie, runs one of the others. A small thing has become a big issue: While we all have open calendars to make scheduling easier, Maggie refuses to make her calendar open and keeps it entirely private. In addition, her calendar is often entirely booked with meetings, showing no open times to add anything. As a result, i…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I found weird “detox” propaganda in the office kitchen I work at a small nonprofit of under 30 employees and we share one small kitchen. Articles relevant to our field or other interesting items are often left in the center of the table for us to read. I walked into the kitchen the other day and found a seven-page printout about “superhuman brain shakes.” I looked into the group that published it and the doctor behind it, and what I found did not sit well with me. The guy talks about “detoxification” and peddles supplements, all while vilifying pre…