Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is dating his former assistant, who still works here I have been an assistant for over a decade. I love the work I do. In January, I started a new role supporting the CEO of a mid-size company — definitely not a small family business, but not a Fortune 100 corporation either. I was told the position was open due to a promotion the previous assistant received, which was a great thing to hear! Upon getting here, I noticed the vibe between the CEO and his former assistant to be … different. They constantly talked during the work day about personal things, spent lunch together, and when one of them would leave for…

I’m off for the holiday, so here are some older questions from the archives. 1. My boss is pressuring me to microblade my eyebrows My boss has been pressuring me and the other two employees in our division to get our eyebrows microbladed by her friend. She comments on our eyebrows. She tells us it would be the best thing for us to do. She will show us photos of women with microbladed brows and say we should want to look as good. Since she’s the boss, there is no easy way to tell her to knock it off and I know my coworkers are as tired of it as I am. Personally I don’t think microblading looks good on anyone, and trends change (remember the over-plucked eyebrows of the 9…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss leads the worst staff meetings ever Every month my boss leads an all-staff meeting, and it is awful. Normally he is a pretty good boss, and I enjoy working with him. But this meeting is regularly 1.5-2 hours long and largely irrelevant to half the staff because it is mostly geared towards one team (out of 4). My boss also tries to make these meetings “fun” by asking people for personal pictures — at one meeting he showed pictures for 45 minutes before even getting to the business/informational part, during the height of our busy season. I ma…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Boss said, “Well, someone’s parents didn’t love them” about me In preparation for a team-building retreat, all employees in my department were asked to submit a baby photo for a “match the baby photo to the employee” icebreaker activity. The request for baby photos was framed as a requirement, not an opt-in request. I wasn’t able to get a baby photo because my mom is my only living family, and we are estranged. The request stirred up some *feelings* and left me feeling pretty crummy for a few days. I considered saying something to my boss about how …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I started a job eight months ago that I was very excited about. I was looking to get out of a highly stressful position and got this offer (same pay, somewhat worse benefits but growth potential) and what I thought would be a solid work-life balance. The first day, my boss mentioned how we typically end at 4:30. I’m used to working long hours so I was excited, thinking I’d have more time with my two small kids and husband. I was very wrong. The first couple months were good and then “efficiency” became a big part of conversation. I was asked why reviewing a report would take me 15 mi…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss secretly arranged for me not to get paid for committee work I recently volunteered to serve on a committee at work. The group meets once a week during lunch and hosts weekend activities five times a year. Members who serve on the committee receive a stipend of $1,500 per year. Obviously this doesn’t amount to much when spaced out over a year’s paychecks, but I appreciate the nod to the extra work we do. When I got my first check after I began serving on the committee, I noticed the stipend hadn’t been added. I thought it was probably just an oversight and mentioned to my supervisor that I’d be running over to …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Our new work stations will be outside our building’s security screening I work in a government office, in a building that does full security screening of every person who comes in, with metal detectors and an x-ray machine for their bags. My department does some cashiering. As part of renovations to the building, they are adding cashier stations to our office that will be pre-security, meaning people can come directly to us off the street with no screening. We’re assured these stations will operate as check-only, no cash, but I’m still nervous about doing this. I’ve expressed my concerns but have been told our departm…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Am I obligated to use my personal network for my job? I work for a nonprofit in a general admin role that involves some development as well (we’re very small, so it’s kind of all-hands-on-deck). From the start, I have been urged by the executive director (my direct boss) to send our fundraising appeals to my own friends and family, and he’s very pointedly asked me about any wealthy people/possible donors I might know. I mostly managed to wiggle out of that one by making it clear that I don’t have any wealthy friends. However, as we move into our big fundraising season I’m being asked to use my personal network to procu…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me to bring my sick four-year-old to work with me I want to start off by saying I am the absolute backbone of our store and everyone, including my boss, knows it. My boss has the flu right now and my four-year-old has been sick. She woke up crying, feverish, snotty, etc. I texted my boss at 4 am (I was scheduled to open at 10:30 am) explaining that my child’s sickness had taken a turn for the worse and asked if there was a possibility that anyone else could cover. She responded that there was no one besides me who could work and I would…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss told me to write the same sentence 500 times as punishment for a mistake I’m a currently an office manager, and I recently messed up and did not submit some health insurance forms that were required and cost my boss $1,000. I have been here for four years and never made a mistake, but for some reason my boss wants me to write 500 sentences stating, “I will not screw up another insurance case.” Is this even something she can do? She can, but it would be really, really weird — and overstepping and degrading — to require an adult to do that.…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss treats our coworker’s performance issues as team performance issues I have a colleague, Sarah, who has been in the job longer than anyone else but constantly ignores our processes. Some of these processes were put in place even before I joined almost eight years ago and she helped teach me. This has resulted in extra work for me and another colleague, Jacinta, who has now been assigned to monitor Sarah’s work and provide feedback. But even worse, our manager does not seem to directly address the issue with Sarah but instead calls team meetings (some in-office when we are all remote) over and over again to addr…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss was upset I wanted to leave when our A/C failed Last year, my coworker spent the majority of an eight-hour Saturday shift in a public building with no operable bathroom. She reported a sewage backup to our boss and the answering service of the facilities department responsible for maintaining the toilets, but her calls for help went unanswered. This was on my mind last Saturday, when our building’s A/C failed. I put in the same calls, but the only response I got was my boss asking me to let her know if it gets any hotter. A little before no…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss won’t stop wearing perfume that gives me headaches I have a generally good relationship with my boss. We work in a shared office space which includes my boss, me, and three other people. I am Covid-cautious still and wear a KN95 mask full-time and run an air purifier while I’m at work. Since moving into the shared space, I’ve had increased instances of headaches that linger into the evenings, often hours after I’ve left the office. The headaches are negatively impacting my work productivity, as well as the rest of my life. Several months ag…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I want to break up with my boyfriend — but I work for his parents I just graduated from college last spring with a degree in a field that’s rather difficult to find work in. Lucky for me, my boyfriend’s parents happened to own a business in that field and they had a position open that was basically my ideal role (and probably several steps above any entry-level position I would have gotten elsewhere). I saw it as a great career stepping stone and accepted their offer. It has been far from perfect (typical small, family-run business issues), but ove…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Bringing alcohol to the home of a recovering alcoholic My coworker is a recovering alcoholic; he doesn’t discuss it but never drinks, occasionally refers to “when I was drinking,” and once was frightened when he learned there may have been alcohol in a dessert he’d eaten (there wasn’t). His wife has generously invited to office over for dinner. She told us that “we keep a dry house” but we’re welcome to bring alcohol if we want it with our meal. This has created a debate within the office. Two want to bring alcohol, arguing that she told us (without us asking, I should add) that we could. The rest of us feel it would …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My bullying coworkers wouldn’t let me speak at a meeting This happened many years ago, but I keep replaying it in my head and wondering what I should have done. At that time, I was working in a very small department in a small nonprofit. There were four of us in the department, three faculty (me, Marc, and Terry) and a director, Linda. We were having our weekly meeting (overkill, in my opinion) with some reps from other departments, and a couple grad students. Maybe eight people total. Linda despised me and made no bones about it, and the overall situation was extremely toxic. I’d been tolerating Linda’s abuse for ab…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I own and operate a small business. The workflow is typically manageable within a 40-hour work week. However, occasionally an important project comes in with an especially tight deadline and usually affects a different person each time. I have difficulty asking employees to go the extra mile for that day or two when needed. I’m not even sure what constitutes a fair request. What are the “rules” about this? I almost always decide that I will take on whatever extra work is necessary myself, rather than ask for any extra push from employees. My logic is that I will “save it up” for when…

A reader writes: I’m a 32-year-old professional on a niche team for a large corporation and have been in my role for four years. When I was interviewing, I was living in City A, a low-cost-of-living city that I really disliked. When I took my current job, they were clear that they allow my role to be performed from anywhere in the U.S., and I was hired at a salary consistent with my experience and then-geographic location. About five months after starting, I moved to City B, a much-higher-cost-of-living city. My director told me that while my move was no problem logistically, I would not receive a pay increase for relocating, as the move was my initiative and the compa…

A reader writes: Do you have any guidance on asking for feedback on a job application when you weren’t selected for an interview? I’m aware that I’m unlikely to get a candid answer and perhaps some of my frustration is borne out of feeling like I’m continually applying for jobs where I meet all of the criteria, and can provide examples, but not really getting anywhere. You can try, but you’re unlikely to get substantive feedback. You’re more likely to get someone willing to give you feedback after an interview because at that point they’ve talked with you one-on-one and there’s more of a connection. Even then, a lot of managers won’t give you any truly meaningful feedba…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: The last time I was searching for jobs was pre-Covid, and while the job market and world have changed in many ways, one of the ways I’m most concerned about in my current search is the rise of employee monitoring technologies. I work in a field that has been primarily remote since well before the pandemic and has not been subjected my recent waves of return-to-office for that reason. I also live with a number of serious but very well-managed mental health issues that would quickly spiral out of “very well-managed” under the pressure of surveillance technologies. This isn’t just a pref…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Recently, my boss sent me five spreadsheets, several with multiple tabs, to fill out but offered no information on what went in which row, column, or tab. I managed to figure most of it out (she gets annoyed when I ask her questions) and asked for clarification on the rest. I only had hours to get all of this done because it was due the next day and she had sent it to me a few hours into my workday so I had to work quickly. I apparently filled out one of the columns wrong, subtracting the scores instead of adding them. I went to her office to address it, and she was infuriated. She pr…

A reader writes: I’m the other side of letters you get more commonly: I am the overly talkative coworker trying to figure out how to professionally ask (read as beg) people to cut me off. I have pretty obvious/intense ADHD and do work with my doc to manage it as best we can. Unfortunately, we have not hit the magic mix yet. Since there is no hiding it for me, I am lucky to have supportive bosses who make it safe to be pretty open about it. The problem I am having is that while my current meds are really helping with most things, once I start talking, usually about something work-related, I cannot stop myself (literally screaming in my head to shut up, but hooray for exe…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: What do you owe a company when you accept a position? Is it ever okay to leave a good job only a few weeks after starting? I worked for a decade in an industry I loved, then burned out hard and left for a better-paying sector. For the past 18 months, I’ve been contracting part-time with a successful startup, doing work that’s similar but less engaging (to me). Since I started here, I’ve made it clear that I’d love to come on as a full-time employee, and for a long time they’ve been saying it’ll happen. My interest is really about the good pay and benefits, since I’ve found this job m…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Can I confiscate my coworkers’ screaming monkey toy? Today, as has happened multiple times in the last few months, some of my nearby coworkers in our relatively small satellite office decided to play catch with this “screaming monkey toy.” The noise it makes is outrageously loud, especially in our small space, and I’ve previously indicated (politely) to coworkers that I find the noise not only distracting, but extremely annoying. After the first time, I asked them if they could please make an effort to not set the toy off, because of those reasons…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m a recent grad, and I’ve been searching for my first full-time position. Recently, I was invited to second round of interviews for an event planning position at a national organization with a recognizable name. It included a schedule of seven virtual half-hour interviews with different groups of people at the organization and a request for me to prepare a 10-slide presentation of a potential event for the organization and challenges I might face. I thought seven interviews were overkill for such a junior position, especially as the organization does not specialize in event planning…