Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently had a recruiter reach out to me about a job. I’m not really looking right now, but I figured I’d see what they had to say. I had my first interview virtually, and progressed a few days later to an in-person interview. It went well, but towards the end, the hiring manager asked if there was anything that would prevent me from accepting an offer if it were extended. Am I wrong to hate this question? Side note: the recruiter had been very clear that I shouldn’t ask any questions about what the company can do for me in the interviews, as they would handle all negotiations for…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My mom answered my phone and told off my boss I was very sick with Covid and my mom had to come take care of me. She already knew issues that I’d been having with my boss; he’s a jerk. I learned later that he called to ask a question that he could have easily found the answer himself. My mother answered the phone and yelled at him because he does a lot of abusive things and keeps us working on days off, even vacation, not to mention when people are very sick. He is the type who can dish out the punishment or rude comments but cant handle it when you…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps giving me praise I don’t deserve When I got my current job a year ago, I filled a specific niche that they really needed. For the first few months, I was making a ton of new content for the organization, and making edits to existing content. Some of this was honestly low-effort, but because no one knew anything about my field, I was getting high praise for just about anything. Then after those months, requests for new content trickled down and I only had to make edits every once in a blue moon, so I shifted to doing more administrati…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. With more people being called back to offices where they’re expected to share crowded spaces with coworkers — including sharing desks — let’s talk about shared space horror stories! Maybe you share a desk with someone who pinned up deeply personal love notes from their partner all over your shared space … or set the screensaver on your shared computer to be photos of herself in a bikini … or maybe you had a boss who “was constantly leaving open the very explicit romance e-novels she was reading on the shared workstation so you’d sit down to start your shift and suddenly you’re reading about parts quive…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I am to be married next year and decided to send out save-the-dates early. I really like my coworkers and my boss and wanted to invite them to the wedding. When my boss received my save-the-date, they swung by my desk to congratulate me and we got to chit chatting. The conversation led to my boss asking to see a photo of my fiancé as they had never met before. I showed them a photo from my engagement and — It was like the smile literally slid off their face. I asked if they were okay, and all they said was: “Is this who you are marrying?” I was really confused and had a very bad feel…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Uncommon Reader, by Alan Bennett. The Queen of England stumbles into a mobile library and develops a love of reading, which upends her life as the monarch. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just got feedback from my manager that I need to work on communication with a coworker. I think it’s mainly about tone not content, and I agree with the feedback — I have admittedly been pretty short. I’m irritated and it’s coming across. Where I’m getting stuck, though, is that it’s coming from a place of frustration and I’m not sure how to solve it without doing something about the underlying frustration. Let me give more context. My coworker Petunia and I are a two-person team. For the sake of anonymity, let’s say we do llama support; she is more junior and provides, say, llama …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in manufacturing, and I more or less have a desk job. My “office” is a clump of desks off to the side of the manufacturing floor. I have a coworker, Laura, who also works in this clump of desks, who is dating a technician. Laura is younger than me, was homeschooled, and sometimes has a hard time picking up on social cues. She has been dating her boyfriend, Nixon, for a few months now. The problem is that he spends every break in our desk clump, to the point that he made himself a folding chair so he can sit by Laura. I am super annoyed every time he is over here. They sit leane…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Just sharing this tweet from Washington Post reporter Jeff Stein for federal government workers about Elon Musk’s “deferred resignation” offer. (Don’t take it! It’s still a trap.) Also, if you remember the letter-writer who worked at Twitter when Elon Musk took over, that same person has sent in this note: I just wanted to thank you for posting about what federal workers who are currently under attack can do. The former Twitter employees I know have all spent the past couple of weeks reliving the Twitter takeover from 2 years ago but on a much more widespread and terrible scale. I want to say this i…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work for a large company that has several locations all over North America, and every year they have presentations that celebrate International Women’s Day. Sounds great – but in my office I am the only woman, and every year I find it incredibly awkward. We watch a presentation and then have a discussion. At some point, someone looks to me and says, “Jane, would like to comment?” I say something like how sometimes it can be difficult, etc. I am a confident, 51-year-old woman but I’m torn. I feel like I should embrace the presentation but I can’t help feeling like I’m under a giant …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: What do I do about a staffer who has a history of personal drama and blurring professional boundaries who’s about to be added to the department I manage? According to a number of people I know who have worked with “Lee” over the past couple of years, while Lee is okay at their basic day-to-day job responsibilities, they are a bringer of discord on a personal level wherever they go. A year and a half ago, they were let go from a supervisory position within another organization for sexual harassment. Lee is late 30s and their former workplace had a lot of young 20-somethings just learn…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: One of my employees, “Pam,” has been having pains that I won’t specify for the sake of anonymity. Her condition is degenerative but can be managed quite successfully through physical therapy and occasional steroid injections. I happily made several doctor-recommended accommodations and alterations to Pam’s workspace, at the expense of the company, to make the eight hours a day she spends here more manageable. Pam went to several weeks of physical therapy sessions, but then stopped going because it turns out physical therapy “isn’t really enjoyable for me” (is it for anyone?). She als…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose mother was pressuring her to babysit their brother in their office after school? Here’s the update — and some more advice from me. Thank you for answering my letter! It was too late to reply to the comments after work, but I’ll address some of them here: For those asking if I still live with my mother: I moved out when I was 18 and live in my own apartment with roommates. My brother was born when I was 10 years old, so that’s where the age gap comes from. For those asking why my brother can’t just stay at home like most teens: He usually does, but given my brother’s …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in a government agency that’s very analogous to a private sector industry (think trade vs. banking or procurement vs. real estate) and many of my colleagues have either joined us after having made plenty of money on the private side or are otherwise independently wealthy. Our senior leadership are politically appointed multimillionaires. I enjoy my work, but I seem to be one of the few who works here because I actually need the money. I have no complaints about my salary; we all make the same. However, I’m paying back student loans that won’t budge and I also have the only sing…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Earlier this month, we heard from someone whose CEO shared photos of his recent family vacation at a town hall after announcing budget cuts, no bonuses, and increased health insurance costs. And we’ve heard about plenty of other out-of-touch executives before — like the company that quizzed employees on the new boss’s horses, family, and vineyard (yes, really), or the manager who wanted everyone to share their best and worst moments of the pandemic, or the CEO who joined a meeting about layoffs remotely from a golf course. Please share your own stories of out-of-touch leadership in the comment section…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader asks: One of my employees is positioning himself to move up in a couple of years. He would still report to me, but the working relationship would be a little different, and it could have a major impact on my work and the organization if that relationship is toxic. The problem is that he thinks he is a lot smarter than me. He apparently read something about “managing up” and now he is trying to manage me. He is very, very bad at it. His attempts to manipulate me are clumsy, but he doesn’t realize that I know what he is doing (because he’s sure that he is much smarter than me). There’s also som…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker asks someone to get him food from the cafeteria every day I work as a consultant for a company and have an older male colleague (in his late 40s) who has mobility issues due to his weight. He sits almost all day and arrives very early before anyone else arrives. He cannot walk more than a few feet without pain and asks me (or another colleague) to grab meals for him at the cafeteria almost daily. He gives people money for his food, which is always junk food, and is very apologetic and appreciative. Most people, including myself, bring pack…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I own and operate a small business. The workflow is typically manageable within a 40-hour work week. However, occasionally an important project comes in with an especially tight deadline and usually affects a different person each time. I have difficulty asking employees to go the extra mile for that day or two when needed. I’m not even sure what constitutes a fair request. What are the “rules” about this? I almost always decide that I will take on whatever extra work is necessary myself, rather than ask for any extra push from employees. My logic is that I will “save it up” for when…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Earlier this month, we heard from someone whose CEO shared photos of his recent family vacation at a town hall after announcing budget cuts, no bonuses, and increased health insurance costs. And we’ve heard about plenty of other out-of-touch executives before — like the company that quizzed employees on the new boss’s horses, family, and vineyard (yes, really), or the manager who wanted everyone to share their best and worst moments of the pandemic, or the CEO who joined a meeting about layoffs remotely from a golf course. Please share your own stories of out-of-touch leadership in the comment section…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in a government agency that’s very analogous to a private sector industry (think trade vs. banking or procurement vs. real estate) and many of my colleagues have either joined us after having made plenty of money on the private side or are otherwise independently wealthy. Our senior leadership are politically appointed multimillionaires. I enjoy my work, but I seem to be one of the few who works here because I actually need the money. I have no complaints about my salary; we all make the same. However, I’m paying back student loans that won’t budge and I also have the only sing…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m a volunteer for an after-school program for high schoolers interested in my profession (similar to, say, a robotics team). I’m a woman in my mid-20s, and one of the kids is a 16-year-old boy we’ll call Marvin. Marvin is a very bright and hardworking kid who excels academically (AP classes, honor society) and works at a fast food place. He is also what some would call a “nerdy outcast” and only has a few acquaintances his own age. He gets along much better with teachers than other students, and I’m no exception. I was exactly like him when I was his age and remembered the deep rela…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I started a job eight months ago that I was very excited about. I was looking to get out of a highly stressful position and got this offer (same pay, somewhat worse benefits but growth potential) and what I thought would be a solid work-life balance. The first day, my boss mentioned how we typically end at 4:30. I’m used to working long hours so I was excited, thinking I’d have more time with my two small kids and husband. I was very wrong. The first couple months were good and then “efficiency” became a big part of conversation. I was asked why reviewing a report would take me 15 mi…