Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Boss said, “Well, someone’s parents didn’t love them” about me In preparation for a team-building retreat, all employees in my department were asked to submit a baby photo for a “match the baby photo to the employee” icebreaker activity. The request for baby photos was framed as a requirement, not an opt-in request. I wasn’t able to get a baby photo because my mom is my only living family, and we are estranged. The request stirred up some *feelings* and left me feeling pretty crummy for a few days. I considered saying something to my boss about how …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m in a quandary and really second-guessing a decision I made regarding an offer that was made to me a couple of weeks ago. I work for a company that makes, let’s say, teapots. I recently found out that Cersei, the director of a different teapot-making company, wants to fire her entire design team and hire me to head a brand new one. I would not only be responsible for leading the new team, but for hiring everyone in it. The complication: the current head of the to-be-fired team is my mentor of 20 years, Jaime. I found out about this when Cersei invited me to lunch and told me she …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’ve been a manager at my company for 13 years. I have a team of five direct reports and meet with them for one-on-ones every one to two weeks. We review projects, develop strategies for hurdles, discuss what’s working and what’s not, and where they would like to see their careers go. Recently we had our annual reviews where I create their annual development plans. These reviews are quite involved and build on conversations we’ve had throughout the year. At the conclusion of the reviews, a formal letter from HR is drafted with the annual salary increase and general “happy to have you …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: A year ago, my boss was promoted into a new role at my company. I took on my boss’ job, in addition to my regular job, with my grandboss implying that I would soon be promoted into my boss’s old job. Well, you can guess how this ends — I ended up doing both jobs for a year without any extra pay or recognition, my attempts to get updates on the job status were ignored, and this week, my grandboss hired one of his old fraternity brothers — with no experience in our industry — for the job. Obviously, I’m looking for a new job and hope to lea…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Interview felt like an exam I had my first job interview in over 20 years yesterday, and it felt like an exam. Five people peppered me with a long list of questions, mostly hypotheticals. None of the questions were about my experience or my training. Only a couple were about what I had to offer the employer. The rest were, “What would you do if [thing that has never happened to me in all my many years working in this field] happened?” The thing was, I found myself answering all the questions not with what I would do, but with what Ms. Perfect would…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week, we talked about carpooling for work, and here are eight of my favorite stories you shared — some heartwarming, some not. 1. The kazoo music I fondly think of the coworker who, when I offered her the aux cable to play music off her device, looked hesitant and then said, “Look, I need to warn you, there’s going to be a lot more kazoo music then you’d expect.” 2. The trick I carpooled once with a coworker who lived in my neighborhood. I didn’t even realize he lived near me until he approached me one day and asked if I would like to carpool. Gas was hideously expensive, so I thought why not.…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader asks: I manage a team and have run into a problem with “Bob,” one of my employees. Bob loves this job. Tells me almost every day how much he loves being at this company. But as much as he loves his job, he’s not very good at it. He’s gotten us incorrect information and turns in incomplete notes. He tries to tackle more and more projects, but it’s leading to him misinterpreting information, making erroneous conclusions, and generally dropping the ball. His colleagues are frustrated because they cannot rely on his research — it often results in more work for them as they fact-check his informat…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here’s part 2 of questions from federal workers who are currently under attack by the administration, as well as others affected by the fall-out. Part 1 (and an explanation of what’s going on) was here. 1. For those of us staying, how do we deal with this? For those of us choosing to stay and continue defending the constitution, any advice? What are ways to deal with uncertainties, short notice changes, conflicting information, being short handed, and low morale? I hope many of us still feel that service and putting others before ourselves is good and the right thing to do. I wish there was a good a…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is “hey” rude? I have a former boss who asked all staff at a tiny nonprofit not to use the greeting “hey” to her. I think this is imperious and out of touch, at best. What do you think? It’s a bit much, but there’s a fairly outdated belief that “hey” is rude — remember those teachers and other elders from your youth who would respond to “hey” with “hay is for horses”? Was she a “hay is for horses” person clinging to old rules around the word, or was she more of a “don’t speak casually to me, peons” person? The former is a little eye-rolly, but what…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: About four months ago I hired a new employee, Arnold. He interviewed very well, and the other interviewers on the panel agreed he was the best candidate. However now I am starting to see some serious gaps in ability. The biggest issue is that Arnold totally forgets entire conversations we’ve had. Some examples: • I told him in June that he needed to plan the agenda for the team meeting in late July. A few weeks into July, I asked how the agenda was coming, and he said that was the first time he heard about it. I pointed him to our shared notes document from our 1:1 conversation in Ju…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My office is next to a person who swears a lot during the work day. I assume it’s frustration with his computer, but a least a couple times an hour I’ll hear an onslaught of expletives coming from his desk. It’s pretty disconcerting to hear and it’s also really distracting. Otherwise, he’s a great person to work with but I’m not sure how to approach this. What should I do? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can re…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My company announced a “biggest loser” weight loss challenge today and immediately my stomach sank. This was sent by the owner/founder of my small civil engineering company (about 40 employees). This is still so fresh for me I don’t even really have the words to express how many ways this is a horrible idea and would love your thoughts. I have the words. And those words begin with: how is this still happening in the year of our lord 2025? It’s incredible that so many workplaces are still oblivious to how very problematic weight loss competitions can be for many people — people wi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How to work with a jerk who raises his voice, when “that’s just how he is” I work with Fergus, a senior engineer who has a reputation for being “crotchety,” a term I am starting to push back on because it seems to explain away his unprofessional behavior as a personality quirk or something to be expected because of his age. I’m trying to figure out exactly where to draw the line in order for me and my team to consistently push back against his behavior. On our last call, Fergus joined the zoom and immediately declared his team was not involved in th…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: As resume advice continues to evolve with the times (e.g., not including your street address on your resume), I’m wondering how important the location of each job is. Do employers really care if I worked in San Francisco, California, or in Dayton, Ohio? Would it be better to include in-person, hybrid, or remote? Yes, you should still list the city and state of each employer. Including the employer’s location helps verify that those companies actually exist. That doesn’t matter so much when the company is nationally known or when all your employers are local to the area you’re applyi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This letter involves a very sensitive topic and some backstory, so bear with me. Would you consider it weird if a coworker brought along an unrelated college-aged girl to a work party where you could invite family? I ask because I was​ that college girl. When I was 19, I was a sexually frustrated lesbian with then-undiagnosed autism. Despite being at an LGBT-friendly university, I had no sex life and didn’t know how to approach women without coming across as some sort of creep. Every LGBT-related extracurricular I was in was centered on networking, political activism, or community, …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you get fired for (even really bad) behavior at a football game? I’m a big football fan and a feminist and civil liberties advocate. So I am really struggling with the question of a fan at the Eagles-Green Bay Wild Card game. He is on someone’s cell phone video (which of course was posted on social media) yelling misogynistic insults at a woman from the opposing fan base. The team banned him from coming to future games, a sanction I support (this was beyond the usual jawboning at high-stakes games). But people online also tracked down where …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Perfume and Pain, by Anna Dorn. A cancelled writer searches for inspiration and develops a surprising relationship with her new neighbor. Funny and smart. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I’m supposed to live with my boss and her husband for months I have been working at my company for two years, and I get along well with my boss, who is a woman in her early thirties. Her husband also works for the same startup and we are all on a work trip together for a few months in a foreign country. The company is providing community housing (with private beds and bathrooms) for commuting workers that holds about 10 people, and a few two-bedroom condos. Before we arrived, my boss, her husband, my coworker, and I were under the impression that w…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I was working on writing up a job ad today for temporary research assistants for a field biology project, and noticed trends in my ads and in others’. It’s common for early career employees applying to assistant or technician jobs to think that they want to do fieldwork and then quit in the middle of the season because it wasn’t what they expected. There are really fun parts like getting to travel to cool places, camp or backpack, work directly with plants and animals, and meet new people. However, employees are often underpaid (especially at the technician level), work long hours, an…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker screamed at them and HR hadn’t done anything? Here’s the update. I wrote to you back in 2020 about an incident from 2019 where a coworker had a screaming tantrum. I very much appreciated your input, and that of your commentariat. Nothing much happened regarding HR and my yelling coworker, Dolores. I’ve taken your advice to heart, that almost all workplace issues are caused by bad management. This was seemingly a situation with a bad coworker, but the problem was exacerbated by the deep incompetence of my boss, Cornelius. He had no idea how to shut Dolores dow…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. With more people working more days in their offices, let’s talk about carpooling for work. Did you have to share a multi-hour car ride with a coworker who insisted on listening to a bad recording of his own choir practice? Get stuck carpooling with a disgusting nose picker? Fall in love with your carpool partner after he accidentally got fired by pretending to be bad at his job so he could sit with you all the time? Let’s discuss work carpool stories in the comment section. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I use a wedding photo — with a veil — as my work avatar? My company is fully remote, so they really encourage us to upload a headshot to our company chat service so people can put a face to the name. Would it look out of touch or immature to use a photo from my wedding? It’s probably the best I’ll ever look in any photo because of the professional hair and makeup and because it was taken by a professional photographer. But because of the veil, it’s very obviously a wedding photo. (I’d choose a shot without my husband in it.) I think some of my…