Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 5, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose company said it was “best practice” to do layoffs over email? The first update was here, and here’s the latest. Two years later and I have a doozy of an update about this company. So, after the last letter, I was working at a new company that happened to employ a lot of people who had left the Email Layoffers. We kept in touch with a lot of people at that company and it was pretty quiet for a year or so…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking whether she had to share her story on a “women in industry” panel? Here’s the update. So … I ended up doing the panel. I talked to multiple trusted women at work and outside of work, who almost always encouraged me to do it, even if just for the experience and to showcase myself. For what it’s worth (now that the panel is over), I work in the construction industry as a superintendent. My job is to organ…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Our office didn’t have bathrooms or water, but they wouldn’t send us home (#3 at the link) After your response was published, I reported the incident through our anonymous compliance network, who forwarded it to employee health, not HR. I got a lukewarm response, something about management being in contact with HR the whole day, but it never addressed why we all felt like we were being…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer trying to decide if her coworker was harassing her or just annoying? Here’s the update. I was away from my desk the day my question was posted so didn’t get to interact with the commentariat but I did go thru and read all the comments. Thanks all for your advice! It got worse before it got better. Early August, Joe asked me what I wanted my nickname to be as he was going to give me a nickname. I replied, “I don’t do nicknames at work.” Later that month, he said to another one of my coworkers, “T…

A reader writes: I’m a professional woman in my early 50s hiring for a position on my team. My colleague (a mid-40s man) and I interviewed a good candidate for a junior position (a man in his late 20s) with whom we have each subsequently exchanged a few emails. In each email the candidate has sent to my colleague, he calls him “Mr. [last name]” but in mine, he calls me by my first name. We’re pretty informal in our office, were relaxed in our interviews, and have always signed our emails with just our first names. I’m confused by the difference in addressing us. My husband says it’s sexism and a big red flag. I’m curious as to your thoughts. I answer this question — and…

A reader writes: When should an employer contest an unemployment charge and when should they let it be? I’m an HR department of one, and the managers have me contest almost everything! It’s hard to explain to them when it pays (poor performance) and when it doesn’t (gross misconduct). Can you help to determine what it should look like? This past year, we had an unprecedented number of firings and it’s been a doozy. Most of the time, employers should avoid contesting unemployment benefits unless something egregious happened. They definitely shouldn’t be doing it as a reflexive response to any unemployment filing. First, the basic rules around unemployment benefits: in …

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I work in a pretty calm office environment where I rarely deal with confrontation. Lately I’ve been wondering how people in more volatile or high-stress roles take care of themselves (e.g., law enforcement, corrections, emergency response, or even customer service and call centers). How do people who face frequent conflict or hostility at work manage their stress and protect their mental health over time? I’d love to hear from readers who’ve figured out ways to stay grounded and healthy in those environments, and also what draws them to that kind of work. Readers in high-conflict roles, please weigh in! Th…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 27, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Last month we talked about “other duties as assigned” — things you’ve been asked to do at work that were wildly outside of your job description. Here are 15 of my favorite stories that you shared. 1. The handmade crafts I had a manager whose in-laws held a handmade-only Christmas exchange every year. They were all crafty and she was decidedly not, and they made some intimidatingly great things — the one memorable example she cited was that someone hand-carved a chess set for the exchange. She made us figure out her craft and do her craft for her a team event every year. The one year I participated, we made a decent felt-flower wreath for her mother in law. It was fun, …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do I need to be less long-winded? How can I be less long-winded? I’m a senior manager, so I have to talk frequently: laying out project goals and plans, providing directions to team members, clarifying roles, explaining my feedback or why I disagree with a recommendation, explaining a complex situation/problem we need to solve, etc. I feel like when I’m talking, I might be going on too long because people often interrupt me because they think I’m done talking, but I’m not. I often have a detail to add that I think is important because it adds nuance to what I just said, or it sums up the explanation I just gave. Earli…

Last month, after talking about bad corporate gifts, we also talked about corporate gifts you actually liked, and here are some of my favorites. Of course, even wildly popular gifts won’t be universally popular and this is not an attempt to claim they are. These are just gifts that happened to be enjoyed in these people’s offices that I found interesting to read about! 1. Choose your own desk plants Shortly after I started at one job, we got sent a link to an online garden shop and instructions for us each to pick 15 euros worth of potted plants we’d like to have at our desk. (This one is arguably more of an office perk, but I was allowed to take mine home with me when …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want to have dinner with my boss on a work trip I am going on a work trip outside the country with a colleague and our boss. Both of us don’t really get along with him (our boss) and want to plan our own activities in the non-working hours (mainly dinners). However, he has asked us what we plan on doing and wants to plan a dinner with all three of us. Is there a way I can say no to him without letting on that we have already made plans? What if he asks what I am doing instead when I decline his offer? There has recently been friction with him regarding work activities so not really sure how he will feel if eit…

Over the years, readers have submitted a tremendous number of amusing stories about holidays at work, and since we’re heading into the holidays we must revisit them. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The banana bread I managed a department of about 15 people. One lady was extremely proud (and vocal) regarding her banana bread. Once, I joined the conversation and mentioned my mother also had a wonderful recipe my family loves. I will spare you the details, but within a day or so, I found myself embroiled in Bananagate as the Manager Who Cruelly Insisted Her Recipe Was Better. The only way to settle it was a bake-off, which I tried mightily to nix (my staff was an unhappy…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My employee wants us to stop ordering “unhealthy snacks” After I wrote in and read your advice, I decided that if the employee were to make any of his comments about others’ food choices in my presence, I would address it with him and explain how it’s not appropriate and used the language you suggested. However. I never really had the opportunity and he never broached the topic with me …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Supervisor is flirting with my wife Well, the update is that I did have a conversation with my wife after several conversations before. The last one, I told her that the supervisor’s behavior towards her and her reactions to that behavior would be the end of us. She had a last conversation with him where he told her that he didn’t mean any disrespect, which I thought was bull but whatever. Eventually I saw less and less interaction on camera but I still drove myself crazy w…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose coworker was making their friend break-up really weird? Here’s the update. I have a major update to my previous letter. Last week, this coworker (Mr. Collins) got fired. He had another extremely similar falling-out with another female coworker (let’s call her Jane) in June, and even more women started comparing notes. Jane started working with us around the time that Mr. Collins and I fell out and they s…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Nameplate drama I work for a very large company. My department is small and very specialized. The rest of company either doesn’t know we exist or, if they do, doesn’t understand what we do. My department has been the “stepchild” of the company. There have been growth and leadership changes that affected morale for many years. There’s a lack of role clarity, communication, overstepping of management boundaries, no policies or procedures, reactiveness, finger pointing, etc. We have one long-term employee, Jan, who is known for being rude and sarcast…

Here are the posts that interested people the most in 2025, via two lists: the most viewed posts and the most commented on posts. Most viewed posts of 2025: 10. my employee keeps insisting he looks much younger than he is (but he doesn’t) 9. I rejected a student’s advances, but his parents are mad at me 8. my coworkers have way more money than me … and they constantly expect me to shell out cash for meals and gifts 7. I don’t want to babysit my brother in my office 6. updates: martial arts at work, coworker hates me, and more 5. our Gen Z employees want to be coddled and are struggling with the realities of work 4. I manage a terrible slob — how can I convince her…

A reader writes: I am a senior project manager in a nonprofit. Over the summer, I been working on a series of focus groups and was assigned Lola as an intern. Our office aims to provide meaningful training to our interns, as nearly 80% of them are hired after their internships, so I assigned Lola to write one of the focus group reports. She was present at the focus group itself and was given the audio recording and transcript, plus a report template with guiding questions in order to complete the assignment. I had a previous experience with an intern producing reports with AI, which required tons of rework. So when I first assigned this to Lola, I explained that AI is n…

Movies and TV shows are notorious for getting things wildly wrong about real-life jobs. What’s something ridiculous about your profession that you’ve seen in movies or on TV? Please share in the comments. The post what’s something ridiculous about your profession that you’ve seen in movies or on TV? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I’m a newish manager, and I have one direct report. My new employee, “Susan,” quit this week. Her old employer had reached out to her and made her a dream offer. I spent five months training Susan. She had learned a lot and was starting to work well independently. The thought of starting over training a new employee is exhausting and depressing, and I feel completely defeated. Susan isn’t the whole story. Before Susan, my employee was Joe. Joe worked for me for three months before his serious mental health issues became apparent. His anxiety and depression made it impossible for him to come to work on many days, and he told me that the job was too stres…

A reader writes: I oversee a public-facing department at a nonprofit. One of our long-time program managers is an oversharer. This includes on social media, where she has in the recent past criticized two of our sponsors in long Facebook posts, which included phrases like “Corporation X needs to get their crap together.” These were criticisms based on her personal experiences, not related to work (think complaining about the customer service at Corp X when she was shopping there). Yesterday, she followed up with more complaining during a program meeting that included clients. I know she is connected to many of our volunteers and clients, as well as colleagues, on social…

A reader writes: I was recently promoted to a director role, and one of my direct reports is my former boss who hired me into the company, “Tom.” Tom was a great boss in the eight years I worked for him. He’s an all-around terrific manager who coaches well, provides clear goals, gives flexibility to meet those goals, provides opportunities to learn and grow, advocates for his team, the works. After a few years working for him, a promotion opened up and Tom urged me to apply. I got it, became his peer, and built my own effective team using his style as my model. Last year, our department director positioned opened up. Tom and I both applied. I impressed our relatively n…

A reader writes: I work for the government (not in the U.S.). A few months ago, changes were announced to our employment situation. Government employees who were able to work remotely have been doing so since the pandemic. In 2022, we were mandated back to the office two days a week. It used to be that people could choose what days they were on site, and if someone missed a day in the office here or there it was no problem. Now everyone is required to be in the office Mondays and Fridays. You are not allowed to swap for any other day of the week. You can’t work from home Monday or Friday (for example, you can’t say you’re not feeling well, have a plumber coming and need …