Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they could ask their coworkers to tell them to shut up when they were talking too much? Here’s the update. I was the person who wrote in a moment of desperation trying to figure out how to stop myself from endlessly talking with/at coworkers and posed the idea of having a button made to tell people to tell me to hush (you know it was bad times when that sounded like a good idea). Warning for cont…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss told me to write the same sentence 500 times as punishment for a mistake I’m a currently an office manager, and I recently messed up and did not submit some health insurance forms that were required and cost my boss $1,000. I have been here for four years and never made a mistake, but for some reason my boss wants me to write 500 sentences stating, “I will not screw up another insurance case.” Is this even something she can do? She can, but it would be really, really weird — and overstepping and degrading — to require an adult to do that.…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Nameplate drama I work for a very large company. My department is small and very specialized. The rest of company either doesn’t know we exist or, if they do, doesn’t understand what we do. My department has been the “stepchild” of the company. There have been growth and leadership changes that affected morale for many years. There’s a lack of role clarity, communication, overstepping of management boundaries, no policies or procedures, reactiveness, finger pointing, etc. We have one long-term employee, Jan, who is known for being rude and sarcast…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employee keeps working unpaid overtime and lies about it (#5 at the link) When I had a stern talk to Pam warning her she would be fired for any further unapproved overtime, she wrote an email to say she was suing us. This bizarre announcement prompted me to start poking around as you advised. I discovered Pam had been stealing cash from work. It explained a lot about her eagerness to do overtime. She was outraged when confronted. Pam declared that she was innocent before g…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 20-21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: The team I manage is very small. I am the youngest there and sometimes feel insecure about being the boss. Today in a meeting, a long-term employee who’s been here 15 years (much longer than me) announced that he would take steps to solve a certain issue. The issue needs to be addressed, his solution is good, and I appreciate him taking initiative. Nevertheless, I am not sure how to react to him just pointing out that he will handle something without speaking to me beforehand. How should I proceed? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and so…

A reader writes: A few weeks ago, our HR manager, Cara, brought in a photo of her dog’s adorable litter of puppies and everybody appropriately ooh’d and ahh’d all over them. Now that the puppies are old enough to be adopted, she’s started to put the bite on everybody in the office, and after a few other employees were winnowed away for various reasons (apartment building doesn’t allow pets, just had a new baby, etc.), she seems to have focused her attention on me. Backstory time, I grew up in a house with a mother who … it’s probably most accurate to say she compulsively hoarded pets … and growing up having to take care of up to 10 dogs at one time has thrown cold water…

A reader writes: I need to partner with a team whose manager rejected me for a job, and I’m struggling to have a positive attitude. A year ago, I applied to an internal role for which I met 90% of the criteria on the nose. It was a team doing the same work as I did but in another part of the company, and the gap in qualifications was akin to having experience grooming llamas but not alpacas – it’s highly transferrable. I have great performance reviews, scoring the elusive 5/5, and I had completed an internal leadership program that is supposed to highlight me as a candidate for internal roles. I didn’t expect to be handed the role but I did think I was a strong internal…

We recently discussed very big office battles over very small things, and here are 15 of the funniest stories you shared. 1. The new broker A couple of years ago, we changed benefit brokers. Not benefits, just the brokers. We sent out a quick announcement and had them come in so everyone could meet them. This did not affect people’s coverage. They actually got a dedicated phone number they could use for issues. People went bananas. Like we killed their brother. They liked the old broker. How could we be so disloyal? Why do they need a special phone number, they used to be able to just email the broker? This is going to be a disaster. Readers, it wasn’t a disaster. Our…

A reader writes: I had a new employee start on a Tuesday. That Friday, I woke up to a text from my new hire from the night before, saying that she would not be in on Friday, that something had come up and she would see me on Monday. This is an in-person job in a corporate environment. I fully respect a person’s right to take a sick day and I feel nobody is obligated to share personal details, but I also don’t feel like “something came up” quite cuts it, especially on what would be your fourth day on the job. I’m looking for some guidance on where to set my expectations (regardless of this person working out or not). Am I out of line to feel “something came up” feels in…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker spends so long in the bathroom that I’m stuck with all the work Can anything realistically be done about a coworker who spends ages in the bathroom? We work in a cafeteria in four-hour shifts where there’s only one hour we serve food. It’s two people on our shift, me and Fergus. He’s in the bathroom for at least 15-20 minutes, sometimes twice a shift. He does sometimes wait until it’s slow, but sometimes he takes so long it goes into when we’re busy. Like yesterday he went at 5:25, and at 5:45 I got fed up and yelled his name. He finally came back. Lunch starts at 6 and we actually start making it at 5:30…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 16, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: Do you have any guidance on asking for feedback on a job application when you weren’t selected for an interview? I’m aware that I’m unlikely to get a candid answer and perhaps some of my frustration is borne out of feeling like I’m continually applying for jobs where I meet all of the criteria, and can provide examples, but not really getting anywhere. You can try, but you’re unlikely to get substantive feedback. You’re more likely to get someone willing to give you feedback after an interview because at that point they’ve talked with you one-on-one and there’s more of a connection. Even then, a lot of managers won’t give you any truly meaningful feedba…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss keeps rotting food in our shared office I just started a new job, which I was thrilled to get and have really been enjoying so far. I share an office with one person, who is my immediate supervisor and is training me. He’s been training me well and he’s a really nice guy, but there’s one big problem: when he brings lunch to work, he doesn’t take his leftovers home. As a result, there are at least five or six large Tupperware containers under his desk, containing food in various stages of decay. The smell is, as you might imagine, pretty int…

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: A while back, an employee who reported to me (I’m a man) became visibly pregnant soon after she started. But she never brought it up. Not with me, not with HR, not with anyone. I didn’t ask her about it, though nearly everyone else in our office asked me. I cringed when I responded since it was obvious she was pregnant but I felt that I needed to protect her privacy. I felt like I was walking around on pins and needles with this very obvious elephant in the room. Her job description included occasionally lifting objects up to 40 pounds and the only way I treated he…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My employee warned me he has a problem with authority Six years ago, I took a job in a new department. At the time, I only had two years of managing experience and I was eager to not step on the toes of my new four-person team, who had a combined total of 85 years of experience. On my first day and in my first meeting with my employee Fergus, he smirked and opened with, “You should know I have a problem with authority.” To his credit, he was not lying. It’s a nightmare to deal with him but he does just enough to not be let go (we work for the gover…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. I get bad vibes from my new boss You advised me to act like a normal professional and that was absolutely the right thing to do. When we interact, the new director is pleasant and has nice things to say to me and about the work that I do. I don’t think that she is nefarious, but unfortunately she is incompetent. She’s been a fairly absent leader, giving vague direction to teams then providing conflicting direction at the last minute, and starting meetings by sharing “profou…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My boss watches me by video call while I work I’m a 100% teleworker in the research field, which I love. The problem is my boss believes mentoring me means watching me via video call as I work. I’ve asked my boss to stop (firmly but nicely) and reported it to my boss’s supervisor who was horrified. Even our supreme boss stepped in, but not much has changed. She has lessened up slightly but now complains she can’t mentor me right because of my “complaining.” Any advice on how to reinforce some boundaries? Is this just a typical part of remote work…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My daughter’s managers complained to me about her work My daughter is 19 but lives at home. She has had a full-time job at a local daycare center ever since graduating high school. I dropped by her place of employment the other day to tell her something. All three managers were in the front office. I smiled and greeted them with, “Hi. How’s it going?” I was shocked when, instead of the standard response, I got a barrage of complaints from all three about my daughter’s work performance. Apparently, she’s been repeatedly written up for neglect of saf…

A reader writes: This is hard for me to write. I’m a woman in my late forties with two grown children. I remember how stressful it was a decade ago, when my kids were little, to keep them out of earshot during conference calls on the rare days I could work from home. In my current role, I have dotted-line management responsibility for “Steve,” who has two children under four. We’re a fully remote company, and all meetings are on video with cameras on. Steve often has one of his children on his lap during both internal and external calls. His spouse works from home part-time, but he still seems to be the primary caregiver for at least part of the workday. I’m conflicted…

A reader writes: Recreational marijuana is legal in my state, but I don’t necessarily want my independent retail store to smell of it, given that we want to give our customers a pleasant shopping experience. I myself get migraines and other adverse health effects from the strong smell of it and cigarette smoke, not to mention that I’m asthmatic, but I don’t want to police my employees in their free time. However, my employee has started to arrive at work reeking of it. Their belongings and their personal space radiate the smell by at least 10-20 feet, so between them being at the front and their belongings in the back, half the store smells of it. I am very new at mana…

Here’s a round-up of advice about counteroffers. can I leverage a job offer for a raise at my current job? should I use a job offer to get a raise at my current job? should I talk with my manager before I accept another job, even though I wouldn’t accept a counteroffer? my job made me a shocking counteroffer can I ask an employer to match a counteroffer from my current job? when a recruiter wants you to commit to not accepting a counteroffer some cautionary tales my company made a counteroffer to keep me — and now is attaching strings to it my employer made me a counteroffer, then rescinded it I accepted my company’s counteroffer, and now they’re going back on o…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it reasonable to ask teams to “host” coffee hours? My new-ish boss implemented division-wide monthly coffee hours when he started a couple years ago, and it’s been a nice way to get out of your office and talk to others (our division is spread out on a college campus). Due to cost-cutting measures, he is no longer able to spend the small amount of money for these events. Instead, we are asking teams within the division to “host” coffee hours by bringing food in. The administrative assistant is able to help brew coffee, set up, and clean up. This does not seem unreasonable to me, and I signed my team up to host, imag…

A reader writes: I have the oddest situation. I have given my notice at a healthcare nonprofit (let’s call it the Wellness Alliance). I’ve been a part of Wellness since the very early days. One of the people I mentored, Katy, went into leadership, became the lead social worker, and turned people against me when our last CEO left. I recently gave notice because Katy got the leadership team to bully a young staff member out of Wellness after they asked for my help on a case, even though Katy had ignored their request, and that was the final straw for me. Katy had a sessional gig at our local college, and I recently met one of her students, Fergus. Fergus was looking for a…

A reader writes: I’m a (decently) new manager, and I’m struggling with one of my employees. They come from a freelance background but wanted stability so they applied for this job, which is a salaried role. Let’s say the hours are 9-5. We can be flexible with start times as long as it’s reasonable and we’re communicated with, but employees must work their full hours. For some reason, this employee seems to think that when their immediate work is done, it is done and they can go home. That’s not the case, and especially not so because in this line of work, work is really never done. They have many colleagues who could use a hand, and there are other things they could p…