Performance Tracking and Feedback

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2014. A reader writes: I started the position I’m in just 2 months ago as an account executive. Before this position, I was an admin assistant and volunteer coordinator elsewhere. I am also 23, I’ve been working since I was 14 and been in office roles since the age of 19 – meaning I’ve been working long enough to pick up on office politics, and to avoid dramas. Quick background of my current workplace: 12 full-time employees. Most employees have worked there for over 2 years. Some 6 years. Pretty much everyone is close but nice, and I’m the newest and the youngest. I’m …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do we have to return to the office or be fired? Is it always the case that workers have to decide whether to comply with return-to-office mandates, or leave or risk being fired? My large, multinational company has instituted a return-to-office mandate, and recently released their policy regarding compliance and punishment. Some aspects seem so unreasonable and obviously intended to reduce headcount that I wonder if they are legal. This company has many subsidiary offices across multiple countries. During the quarantine years, we hired a lot of remote workers. One subsidiary office was even officially made a 100% remo…

A reader writes: I’m a 20-year-old woman working at a locally owned company. I joined when I was 19 and currently hold the role of marketing director. I am the youngest person in the office by a wide margin; most of my coworkers are in their 60s or older and have been with the company for several years. I take my work seriously. I have a relevant degree, prior experience (I graduated college early at 18 and started working in marketing jobs while still studying) and a strong work ethic. In the day-to-day office environment, I’m quieter and focused, but still friendly, professional, and social when appropriate. I don’t engage in office gossip, especially when it involves…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I cried at work and my coworkers won’t stop asking if I’m okay I work in a small office where there are some strong personalities and, though our manager is very nice and reasonable, there’s only so much you can do about people like that. Yesterday, two of my coworkers (Mary and John) and I ended up having to do mediation with our manager over the pettiest shit imaginable. It’s so petty I can summarize the whole thing in one sentence: John walked in while Mary and I were prepping for a workshop, put a form whose processing is not my job on my desk, and when I asked him why he was giving it to me, snatched it back and …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker comes to work high I work in an animal care setting and overheard a coworker casually mention that they had taken an edible about an hour before the end of their shift. They said it didn’t fully hit them until the last few minutes of work, but during that time they were asked to help restrain a patient. They weren’t administering medication in this instance, but they were still performing tasks while impaired. They also mentioned that there have been a few times when they’ve come to work slightly under the influence. I know some coworkers use substances on their own time, and our workplace doesn’t test or …

A reader writes: I’m managing a difficult employee, “Felix.” Felix has been at my company for five years now. He also happens to be the CEO’s nephew. His performance was never good, but it’s gotten steadily worse. His work frequently has mistakes, he is unreachable for large stretches of the day, and he pushes back on any feedback I give him. At one point, he yelled in my face when I pointed out a repeated problem with his work, saying that he “didn’t respect” my feedback. I’ve documented these issues extensively. I’ve talked to HR repeatedly about putting him on a PIP or even terminating him outright. They say that Felix is unhappy and actively job-searching and that …

Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My husband doesn’t want anyone I work with to know we’re married Thank you for publishing my letter — it was quite reassuring to read that this particular request from my husband was giving others pause as well. There was a lot of speculation in the comments, which was quite amusing to read, and lots of excellent points being made too! I do want to add that my husband has always been very conscious about sharing “private” info, but to be clear — he’s never hidden the fact that he is a married (straight) man, but he won’t go around telling his coworkers my name or my employer. Like you said, this was more of a husband p…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps suggesting I should babysit his kids I work in an office environment, somewhat causal, but we have absolutely no involvement with anything children-related. So I have no idea why a manager here seems to think that I would be interested in babysitting for him in the office or outside of work. For reference, I’m a mid-20s woman in a mostly male office. The manager in question, Fergus, is above me in the hierarchy but not my boss (I report to two people above him). I’ve known for a while that he has two young children, and the nature of our jobs is either long hours, an odd schedule, or both. He has often …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. The wife of my husband’s employee called me to complain about a work trip The wife of one of my husband’s employees called me to complain about a one-night trip he’s taking for a meeting with a client. This employee doesn’t work overtime and has only been out of town three times since working for us in the last nine years. We started my husband’s architecture company 20 years ago and have built it from the ground up to nine employees. The employee has been with the company for nine years and in that time has only been away from his family due to work three times. We live in a very small town, and they attend our chur…

A reader writes: Our company works in a building that houses multiple businesses. We share reception and security. Recently, there was a terrible incident where the ex-boyfriend of one of my employees, Sarah, got into the building by booking a job interview with a different company. He then made a beeline for our office instead, and made a huge scene shouting at Sarah, and even tried to hit her in front of all of us. Thankfully, security tackled him before he could hurt anyone, and he’s been arrested. We had a security meeting with reception and the other business managers in the building and have agreed to a shared appointment calendar and other precautions to prevent…

A reader writes: In 30 years, I have been late to work twice. The first time, management used my emergency contact number to track me down when I was one hour late. I believe this was a misuse of my personal information, and I removed this contact information from the company systems. Now, years later, it has happened again. My manager sent police to my home for a “wellness check” because I was two hours late. In this day and age, when federal agencies are claiming that they can come into your home without a warrant, it’s more than a bit alarming to see police at one’s door. Is this even remotely acceptable? I do realize that some employers will simply terminate on a …

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 13, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Some years we talked about people who get weirdly competitive at work, and I’ve been sitting on this great collections of stories ever since, so here it is! 1. The game of tag It was a company team-building event, they made us play tag. Some senior directors got so into it they ran FACE FIRST into a wall. And cringily after that, ANOTHER senior director actually went and tagged the poor man while he was nearly unconscious on the floor. I remember nothing about my very temporary work there, but would probably never forget that game of tag. 2. The raffle disappointment At Christmas, we used to draw names out of a hat for small prizes. Soaps, $5 gift cards, small crafts,…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 23, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I don’t know what to say about what’s happening that won’t sound performative, but business as usual doesn’t feel okay right now. It’s not okay. I’m honestly not sure how to meet this moment with a blog about work. But I’m here, and I’m horrified. If you are, too, here are some ways you can help. Contact your elected representatives. Here’s one script. Here’s another. Here’s a letter you can send. A hub of organizations, fundraisers, mutual aid needs, and more: Stand With Minnesota American Civil Liberties Union ACLU of Minnesota Community rapid response and ICE observation trainings: Unidos MN The post some ways to help right now appeared first on Ask a Manager. …

Some letters from Minneapolis: For the past several weeks, the Twin Cities, and the state of Minnesota overall, has been under siege by federal agents. My friends and coworkers are scared to leave their homes. Every day we see and hear about another innocent person being harassed, detained, and spirited away by plane and kept from their family, friends, pets, and lawyers. Neighbors exercising their constitutional rights are gassed and beaten. Victims emerge from detention centers with horrifying accounts. My friend was on the scene when Renee Good was murdered. In some of the coldest weather of my life, we stood outside for hours screaming for ICE to leave. People are no…

A reader writes: I work in healthcare IT. Recently, our organization made the decision to switch to a new Electronic Medical Record (EMR) system. I, along with dozens of colleagues, are responsible for building this new EMR to meet our organization’s needs. It’s a months-long process that involves lots of coordinated decision-making across the entire organization. The tentative go-live date for this new system is well over a year from now. Our leadership is telling the entire IT department that no PTO requests will be approved during this time. None of this has been communicated to the department en masse, but it has trickled down to managers, who then relay it to thei…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss says three female employees having dinner together would be discrimination I recently organized a dinner with two of my closest colleagues/friends. It was planned outside of work hours and paid for personally. The dinner grew to include the three other women employees. When my supervisor found out, he said it was gender discrimination because none of the 15 male employees were invited. Without naming names, he made a public announcement about it at our next department meeting. Is it gender discrimination if women coworkers want to have dinner together in their own social time? Aren’t women a protected legal cl…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I take a job with my politician brother? My brother is running for local office as a Democrat in our very blue state. I think he has a great shot at winning, and not just saying that because he is my brother. This district has swung very blue since 24. His GOP opponents are definitely beatable. My state has no rules or guidelines on nepotism in office. So if he wins, and he probably can, I will almost certainly be offered something in his office. I will almost certainly be offered some office in his campaign, as well. Should I take it? On the one hand, it’s working for the family in a huge pressure cooker. On t…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is stubble unprofessional? Is having a few days of facial stubble unprofessional? What about showering every other day? How do I know when I’m well-enough groomed? I’m a cis man who is reasonably adept at social interactions generally but struggles to pick up on unwritten norms/rules (like how often to shave). I got rid of a goatee in college and have generally shaved all my facial hair for every in-person workday since then. I also currently shower every day I go into the office, though I sometimes skip it for WFH days. I’m considering a change for three reasons: (1) I was reminded of how much of a literally bloody …

A reader writes: I manage a team of 8-12 people at any one time in an entry-level role. Every year, we have a Christmas party at a local hotel and bar. It’s always an open bar — recipe for disaster, but the staff love it. This year, a member of my team who has a long-term partner, who she talks about regularly, spent the evening kissing a member of another team, out in the open. They were then seen going up to this person’s hotel room at the end of the night, and did not try to hide this. As her manager, I know my responsibilities and am not letting this impact the way I treat this staff member on a day-to-day basis. I have recent experience of being cheated on myself,…

Over the years, we’ve had many letters about animals at work. Here are some of them. my employee doesn’t think we’re doing enough about bears at work (and the update) people only ask me about the ducks I work with (with a video in the update!) the pumpkin-eating cat my office got us turtles to take care of and bring home on weekends my office is infested with wasps our building is full of bats, sewer smells, moths, and more an unexpected office bird how much can I pet my cat on video calls? (and the update) my colleague is allergic to me because of my cats actual llamas head of HR is waging a pressure campaign to make me adopt a puppy my VP of HR says my servi…

A reader writes: A new grad (“Eva”) joined our team about six months ago. She had previously interned with us and had really impressed us with her knowledge, efficiency, and proactive approach. As a seasoned member of the team, I went out of my way to be kind, helpful, and patient with Eva as she learned the ropes. She had tons of questions, which is to be expected at first. However, things started to sour when she began messaging me non-stop about things unrelated to work and excessively badmouthing another coworker, even calling him vulgar names (on the company’s internal messaging platform!). I began to feel that Eva’s messages were crossing a major line and asked he…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps taking off her pants (she’s wearing shorts under them) I have a coworker, Silvia, who almost exclusively wears thin cotton shorts to work. We work in a manufacturing facility and wear cleanroom jumpsuits that fit over our clothing. Since the weather has turned colder, she has started wearing sweatpants over her shorts. We can all be sitting in the lobby chatting, and Silvia will casually start kicking off her shoes and pushing her pants down to remove them, using her feet like a toddler to scrunch them on the floor and push them away. Today we were having our Monday catch-up with the supervisor and manag…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. The etiquette of “participation noises” in meetings I was very recently diagnosed as neurodivergent, and exploring my actions through that lens has thrown up some questions for me about whether I am missing a few cues. I work for a grant-making foundation as the grants and funding manager,, and my role partially involves traveling around our state visiting our grant applicants and grantee partners. My state is very rural and very low in the national education rankings, and most of these meetings aren’t exactly adhering to corporate norms. One of the things that often happens is what I could term “audience participation…