Performance Tracking and Feedback

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Deadly Little Secrets: The Minister, His Mistress, and a Heartless Texas Murder, by Kathryn Casey. Not my usual fare, but I read a Texas Monthly article about the case and then read this in one sitting. A pastor murders his wife and nearly gets away with it — until her mom and aunts spend years pushing law enforcement to investigate him. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 7-8, 2026 appeared first on Ask a…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. A medical tech repeatedly proselytized to me An experience I had recently with a medical provider has me wondering if what I felt to be inappropriate and unprofessional is a behavior worth raising with my doctor, who owns the practice. I live in area of the south where most people assume that everyone is Christian and believes in God — the kind of place where wishing someone “Happy Holidays” is likely to result in a tonally aggressive reply of “Merry Christmas.” Usually I let religious speak in various businesses just roll off me. I recently underwent TMS treatment for chronic, major depression. As part of that, I re…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Green Dot, by Madeleine Gray. Bored out of her mind in a job as a comment moderator, a young woman trying to figure out life gets sucked into an affair with an older, married colleague. You will be infuriated with her choices, but it’s smart and funny and it will make you so, so glad to no longer be 24. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 14-15, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m off sick, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2016. A reader writes: I’m currently interviewing for a new position with a company that works remotely. Over the past two weeks, I’ve had 10+ video calls with every member of the small team, along with a bunch of unpaid work tests that have included everything from client proposals to personality tests. It’s starting to feel like a full-time job just interviewing with them. I was willing to do all of this because the company is one that I know well with a social mission that I really believe in. I was even willing to accept that they are paying a good $20k below what is normal. I…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss did a racist impression of a coworker I’m on a small, mostly autonomous support team in a medium-sized company. We had company-wide training yesterday. My coworker Amy couldn’t attend in person because of a winter storm/flight situation. Amy is black, and the other three of us are white. My team, and many others, went to a hotel bar after the training. After several beers, my boss Fergus quoted Amy — in poor English, with a thick, fake African (think: Nigerian) accent. Amy has a bit of a (South African) accent and is self conscious about it, which Fergus knows, and has no issues with English. It went over like…

A reader writes: I have a few employees who have told us they do not celebrate birthdays, but they do sit to eat the lunch the company buys for the birthday person and then leave when it’s time to sing “happy birthday.” (One of them asks for cake after everyone goes back to work.) These same employees say they do not observe holidays and do not attend parties (like the employee Christmas party), but they say they can receive the Christmas bonus that the company gives out. Would the company be in the wrong not to invite them to the lunch or give them a monetary Christmas bonus since we are trying to comply with their religious beliefs? Yes, the company would be 100% in…

A reader writes: I hold a leadership role and report to the co-founders of a small company, which has both an office hub and a remote workforce. The co-founders work in the office, and my team and I work remotely. Lately, a fitness tracking device that also monitors sleep and stress levels became popular in the office. It seems like nearly everyone in the office got one, and they started a global group that compares performance and it became a friendly competition. My boss, one of the co-founders, asked me to buy one so I can be part of the competition. When I refused to pay $240 for something I didn’t intend on buying, they offered to pay for it. I feel pressured to s…

A reader writes: For nearly five months now, I have been trying to get in touch with a contact at a partner organization about some grant money they’ve promised us, by contract. Phone calls, emails — nothing. It’s getting completely absurd. I’ve repeatedly inquired as to if there’s something we need to do to hurry this along — no reply. (But he does return contacts from other organizations so I know he is alive and at work.) This staff member is the primary liaison between his organization and ours, so we want to keep it civil. I’ve been advised to go over his head, to his boss … but she’s the executive director of his organization, and I’m very aware this could get thi…

In the comment section on a recent letter from someone whose coworkers were upset about her work anniversary gift, there was a lot of discussion about corporate gift programs. I heard from a reader who works for one of the larger companies that organizes these programs, and they generously offered to answer questions about it. Here’s our interview. To start, what are these programs all about, and how do rewards and recognition companies like yours fit in? Rewards and recognition falls under the bigger HR tech umbrella. Other things under the umbrella include incentives, promotional items, wellness programs, payroll, benefits, and HRIS that does pretty much everything. S…

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I’ve worked for four years in a research laboratory and my supervisor is an associate professor. Her husband is a professor and a director of the research group (and that’s how she easily got her position). As part of standard procedure, the university requires all employees to complete what is called a performance development review. In our meeting, she highlighted two development goals. One was to improve individual conflict management skills by reflecting on all instances of conflicts and how those can be handled better. The second was to impro…

A reader asks: Last fall, I left a beloved job and assisted them in hiring two people to replace me. One was an internal hire, the other required an outside interview process. We received over 50 applications, narrowed it down to 13 phone interviews, then seven in-person interviews, and finally made a very satisfying hiring decision. At each step along the way, I sent out polite rejection emails to those who didn’t make the next level. It was very professional, and all candidates but one reacted very well. However, one gentleman who was not granted an interview wrote back saying that since he was “clearly overqualified for such a position,” he “would have at least appre…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker reports the smallest interactions to HR I have a new coworker, Fran, who has not been fitting in with the vibe at work. She seems to have very thin skin, and at any perceived slight, will report coworkers or leaders to HR. Just today, I had an interaction that would have been standard and unmemorable with any other coworker. I was working next to Fran. She asked me a question, and I gave a very calm and direct answer. Fran said she hasn’t performed this particular task before, and to please give her some grace. I didn’t respond, and that was the end of the interaction. Not long after, I was pulled into the of…

A reader writes: I supervise two employees, Charlie and Lucy, and share a third, Linus. Lucy has strong weeks and weaker weeks, overall fine, but needs regular reminders and is far from perfect. Charlie is new but a really solid employee. He has been having some personal issues that were affecting some of his reliability at work — coming in late and falling asleep. (He would stay late to compensate, and I have zero concerns with the quality of his work.) He and I have met about it a couple of times and we had discussed some possible aids and solutions. Overall, I believed it would be a fairly temporary issue, so I had given him some slack. HR was aware of it, and I ha…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Intern won’t stop giving unsolicited “corrections” We’ve been dealing with a troublesome intern. He keeps giving senior members of the staff unsolicited advice, corrections, and “tips” about everything from life lessons to ways for everyone to do their work. He’s been told many times that it’s inappropriate and that other members of the staff are uncomfortable with it but he keeps doing it. How, as a manager, can I deal with this situation without making it difficult for the intern? I’m afraid I will shatter his self-esteem as it’s seems fragile despite the over-confidence. You’re not doing him any favors by dancing a…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss assigns work by pulling names out of a hat I work on a team of about 10 people. At our weekly meetings, my manager tries to assign out any new tasks. Team members usually volunteer for tasks related to their ongoing work. But when no one volunteers to take on a task, he pulls names out of a hat to see who gets assigned. These tasks aren’t always quick things; they can take a lot of time. This frustrates me so much. To me, it’s dismissive of the other work we have and just bad management. The team doesn’t really push back on it, but I’m wondering if I should. When no one volunteers to take on an assignment, I t…

A reader writes: I’m a woman working in a male-dominated profession. I do most of the planning and organizing for company events—not by choice or job description, but because I’m told I’m such a good planner. While I’m planning something, I’m rarely offered help. However, right before the event, I’m often asked by male coworkers if they can do anything or if I need anything. “Are we all good for Thursday? Can I do anything?” Of course, it’s way too late for them to do anything, and they know that. Is this weaponized incompetence? Or what is it? Whatever it is, it’s incredibly annoying, and I’d love to come up with a comeback that shows I’m onto them. You’re focusing o…

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday so let’s talk about workplace romance. Did you spot coworkers having a secret affair without realizing how obvious they were being? Did your boss date your dad and try to get you to go to couples therapy with them? Did you spend a ton of time mediating between two employees who hated each other and then they ended up dating? Was your coworker always making out with his girlfriend at work? Did your colleague leave a rambling, drunken message for his secret office girlfriend — but accidentally leave it on the boss’s voicemail instead? Let’s discuss workplace romance gone both wrong and right. The post let’s discuss workplace romance gone w…

A reader writes: I was offered a job last week, which was going to require a 2.5-hour move. I accepted as it’s a field I love and a company ownership I had worked for previously, just not at this location. Yesterday the job fell through because the expected job salary budget didn’t come through. At all. I had been waiting on paperwork to 100% make my hiring official. I even had a start date, which had been reiterated last week when they were waiting for the national leadership to send over the papers. I am lucky that I was able to reverse my resignation at my current job. I’m also lucky that I figure I’m only out about $100. I had applied for and been accepted for an a…

I’m off for the holiday. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My coworker calls me his “work wife” A couple of months ago, I joined a new team at work, in a role that is somewhat isolated from the rest of the group. So I was glad when another junior staff member who had joined the team a bit earlier reached out and showed me the ropes. As we grew more friendly, we also started sitting next to one another (our office has open seating with no assigned desks), and chatting occasionally during the day. Our remarks were always casual, and though they were not strictly work-related, we never discussed deep …

A reader writes: I’m looking for advice on how to pursue a new job discreetly, particularly when the interview process requires multiple rounds and my current workplace has very little flexibility. I’ve been with my current employer for 10 years. I started here before I even graduated from college, and I’ve grown tremendously. It’s a well-regarded organization with a prestigious name, and I genuinely believe they care about their people. That said, it’s time for me to leave. I’m no longer challenged, the work doesn’t excite me, and at my site things are fairly old school: no work from home, less vacation than many other employers, no flex hours, and we pay for our own …

A reader writes: For many years, my boss has given flowers to all his assistants for Valentine’s Day. But he has the same two assistants for several years. Both are retired professionals who decided to go back to work, and both originally were married. Now one of them is a widow and he was told by other members of the management team that he couldn’t give her flowers because she was single, but it was okay if he still sent the other assistant flowers. This seems out of place and it made the widowed assistant feel awful. Is this okay? No, it is not okay in any way. Your boss is being a bit of ass, but the people who gave him this guidance are the bigger problem. First…

A reader writes: I’ve become very good friends both in and out of work with a small group of colleagues (four total). This question is about one of them, Samantha. Samantha has always been a bit dry and sarcastic in her sense of humor. Over the past several months, however, she has become increasingly, well, mean. Samantha is shockingly blunt in meetings, often pulls faces that show her keen displeasure, and has been condescending (in person and in emails) to support staff. While she is sometimes right in her complaints, her delivery is frankly atrocious. While everyone complains about work, she seems to really hate it here. At the same time, though, we work in a niche…

A reader writes: I work for a company of about 40 employees that says they “don’t give raises.” It’s in a field that is traditionally freelance, so having a full-time salaried position with benefits while doing this work is slightly unusual, but not unheard of. When asked, management says explicitly that because of how well we’re compensated, they don’t do raises. The salary range is $80-95K — on the high-ish end for our field but not wildly above what freelancers in our field can earn. The hourly rates of freelancers tend to increase $5 every 2-3 years. My question is how bananas is this and do you have any suggestions for how we can push back? I was shocked when I he…

A reader writes: I work for a large, quickly growing international business headquartered in the United States. I’m in HR and often collaborate with finance. My work is challenging, exciting, and I feel valued as an employee. But that’s actually part of the problem. Not to accidentally quote Liam Neeson, but I have a particular set of skills that makes me very difficult to replace. I have strong job security, I’m paid well enough to support my family, I have decent benefits, and I love my coworkers. But I have also been burnt out for over a year. Being neurodivergent and learning how autistic burnout differs from standard burnout has been a wild ride. My managers (yes,…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We have to demote a really dedicated manager I’m involved in a small, local nonprofit animal shelter. I started as a volunteer and am now an officer of the board. Two years ago, our very competent office manager quit. After two crash-and-burn failed hires, one of our part-time kennel help wanted to try to step up into the position. On a trial basis. Over a year ago. And while she was never officially given the job, things just … limped along. Kasie is awesome in many ways, great with people and incredible with the animals. But she lacks the initiative and judgement to successfully fill this role. I will add she is open…