Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: My office is returning to a physical space in the fall and they are giving managers a lot of leeway to decide on remote/hybrid work. I manage eight people on my team and I know a number of them would be happy to never come into the office again. They have all proven themselves more than capable to work from home. However, I personally work best when I can see/talk with people in person, at least periodically. What balance can I strike between giving my team what they want and what I need in my own work style? I would love to ask each team member to come in at least once every 1-2 weeks, but unless there’s a true need is that out of line? I guess my ques…

A reader writes: I’m having trouble figuring out how to navigate a situation with a coworker, John. When I first started at this company a year ago, John was the one who trained me, and he was courteous and communicative throughout the process. I wound up as casual work friends with him, but over the year I’ve seen him do and say things that have given me a very bad gut feeling. Most of these things involve his wife, Gladys, who works here in a different department but who eats lunch with us occasionally. Although John is usually thoughtful and respectful to me and his other coworkers, everything he says to Gladys is some sort of subtle put down or disagreement with wha…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I speak up about a management failure as I’m leaving? I’m a former teacher who resigned to take on a couple of lower key and much less stressful jobs. One of them is as an assistant at an after-school science club for pre-teens run by a nonprofit. It appealed because I could bring my skills and interact with kids (which I miss) but I had little responsibility or admin hassle. I am supposed to rock up and find everything planned and resourced. I’m a “pair of hands” for the session (and am paid accordingly!). But the course leader, Meg, is in her first job out of college and not equipped to do the job, so I have …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. How common is swearing at work? (#2 at the link) I always thought that if you answered a question for me, I would engage with the commentariat and also send in an update! But when I saw the post was up, I was experiencing severe pregnancy-induced anxiety … and promptly avoided the site for around a year. Today I went and looked at the published post for the very first time. (And I felt like the responses from everyone were actually quite lovely, so I don’t know what I was an…

A reader writes: I’m hiring for some new roles in my team and this has generated some excitement from internal folks looking to grow in their careers. That’s great! I’m always happy to meet with internal people before they submit resumes/go through the formal interview process, it’s very much a part of our team culture. However, twice now, different internal candidates have scheduled a one-on-one with me during a time when I already have a meeting and am showing as booked! This has kind of thrown me for a loop (do they not know how to use our extremely basic common scheduling software? do they think I’m booked for fun and will reschedule for them?) and honestly given me…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 27, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I used my company credit card for personal expenses over a long period (so, definitely not accidental purchases). I assumed it was somewhat frowned upon, but thought it was fine as long as I paid it off on time on my own dime. The balance amount over the months has ranged from $1,000 – $4,000. I did not realize it was a violation of agreements until I neglected to pay the balance for one month. (Before that, I had been paying off the full balance every month.) I did end up satisfying the balance, but obviously that invited scrutiny into how I have been using the card and they went back and looked at the history of transactions. HR set up a call with me…

Last week, we talked about workplace romance gone either wrong or right, and here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The emergency deployments The company I worked for occasionally had to respond to statewide emergencies (think every two years). When these happened, you had to go work in a different location and fill roles for the emergency. So a team lead on emergency could just be a support staffer at their day job or a middle line manager could become the states liaison with the feds. Somehow this change in location and status made people lose their minds. The sudden power made the person “sexy”: coworkers (often married) would begin affairs with this perso…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. We fostered and then quickly adopted Laurie in 2020, during the first week of the pandemic. He hid behind some books on a bookcase for three days, but he relaxed once he discovered there were other cats in the house. It turned out he loved other cats. We had named him after the neighbor boy from Little Women before realizing that, just like his namesake, he yearned to be part of a big family. Fortunately, he was! He was an aggressive cuddler; he loved being in my lap, but his favorite thing in the world wa…

A reader writes: I work for a small nonprofit in the U.S. A colleague and I were invited to attend a conference later this year through our service on an external committee where we represent our agency. All conference expenses would be covered by the external partner; the only cost to our organization would be our salaries during that time. Our executive director approved both of us attending, but with the condition that we use PTO for the days we’re away. The rationale given was that the conference is not required by our organization, is considered voluntary professional development, and the agency lacks funding to offer comparable opportunities to the rest of the sta…

With the snow storm that hit much of the eastern part of the U.S. this week, you might be wondering whether you get paid when your office is closed, if your employer can require you to work despite the storm, and other questions that arise when weather intersects with work. Can my employer require me to come into work even if the weather is making it hard for me to get there? Yes. Your employer can require you to come to work despite severe weather, although a decent employer will make allowances for employees who can’t reasonably make it in. If your employer is requiring to come in and you don’t believe you can safely travel, or if authorities are telling people in yo…

A reader writes: I left my last job after 3.5 months despite receiving consistently high praise privately from the director (my direct manager) of my department. At a year-end all-hands meeting where the entire company of at least 70+ people attended and each department gave a status update, I did not get any public recognition in my department of four. One person was called a Salesforce “wizard” and another was praised for doing the hard work of helping set up the infrastructure. The director had only been there two months longer than me, and no one in our team worked there for longer than one year. Needless to say, this was hurtful and humiliating. In just 3.5 month…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I live in a lovely touristy small city with a university. It’s a great place to live, with lots of services and things to do for its size. I have a job in my field which I still enjoy in some ways, but I’ve been in it for 10 years and am terribly bored. I’ve really pushed the boundaries of my position and am feeling so stuck. I’ve been actively applying in town for three years. It’s rare that positions come up, and when they do, they are inundated with candidates. Our city is known for having a “scenery tax” and having wildly educated baristas. So in the past year, I’ve started applying to positions in diffe…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker doesn’t want me to lift heavy boxes I work in a supply store that sells a variety of goods and also does returns for a large, very well-known company. One of my coworkers, a middle-aged man named “Carl,” has attempted to stop me (a woman in my 20s) from moving the closed return boxes every time we’ve worked together, warning me “they’re heavy.” (Our computer system ensures that nothing weighs over 40 pounds). I’ve told him that I don’t mind moving heavy boxes, but it doesn’t seem to register. Yesterday, when he told me not to take a full cart of boxes to the back room, I said, “You seem concerned about me …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I saw my coworker’s pregnancy announcement on TikTok I was just scrolling TikTok, and a video from “someone you may know” popped up. It is a coworker of mine, whose number is in my phone because we sit near each other and sometimes need to coordinate watering plants and such. It turns out she’s a somewhat well-known content creator in a pretty wholesome and innocuous genre. The video I landed on was especially well liked, because she used it to announce her pregnancy. I’m very happy for her and would like to congratulate her! However, I don’t know if she would think it’s weird that I watched her video. I’m a man who s…

In the comments on a recent post, someone mentioned that a boss once sent them home because they’d forgotten to wear a belt that day (“I wasn’t showing butt cleavage, but he wasn’t having it.”) Someone else mentioned a boss who expected people to rise whenever he entered the office (?!). Let’s discuss managers and offices with weirdly outdated expectations who appear to be from a far-off era. The post let’s discuss throwback bosses: managers with outdated work expectations appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Uncoupling, by Meg Wolitzer. After the local high school performs Aristophanes’ play Lysistrata, in which women decide to deny men sex in order to pressure them to end a war, the town’s local women pick up the habit themselves. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 28-March 1, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: I was recently promoted to a director role, and one of my direct reports is my former boss who hired me into the company, “Tom.” Tom was a great boss in the eight years I worked for him. He’s an all-around terrific manager who coaches well, provides clear goals, gives flexibility to meet those goals, provides opportunities to learn and grow, advocates for his team, the works. After a few years working for him, a promotion opened up and Tom urged me to apply. I got it, became his peer, and built my own effective team using his style as my model. Last year, our department director positioned opened up. Tom and I both applied. I impressed our relatively n…

A reader writes: I have a weird, complicated relationship with my boss, Amelia, who is part of the C-suite. We have very different working styles. We are both from the same Latin American country but both of us live and work in the U.S. Last week, she asked me to join a call with her and the CEO of our company in another country. The CEO suggested Friday but Amelia said she was taking that day off and suggested Monday instead. Monday was a holiday for both her and me, but she was traveling to a different country so she was going to be working anyway. When I pointed out that it was a holiday, she said, “Oh come on, it’s only 30 minutes.” This made me feel like my day of…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I work in a field that leans heavily towards freelance gig work these days, but I’ve been lucky enough to work in-house for a firm since making a career change into this industry six years ago. I’ve done a bit of freelance on the side here and there, but not a lot, and I haven’t been self-promoting as a person who’s looking for work because, well, I wasn’t! I had a full-time job that I loved! Well … now I’ve been laid off as my firm downsized, and I’m going to have to go freelance on pretty short notice. Obviously I’ll be job searching as well, but it’s hard to overstate just how much this industry is based …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. HR wants me to give someone a bad review they don’t deserve, to cover up HR’s own mistake I am a manager for a small team of engineers. One of my direct reports was given a new role that was supposed to come with a promotion and pay bump this year. It turned out that our local HR did not have the authority to actually increase his payband and rebranded the new role as a “lateral move.” Now reviews are due, and I am being told to artificially give another person on my team a bad review so that we can give a larger raise to the person who took on a new role. It feels really bad and unethical to do this. Especially sinc…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Lost Lambs, by Madeline Cash. As their parents’ marriage unravels, their three teenage daughters each get into different sorts of trouble. Funny and a pleasure to read. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 7-8, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: Earlier this year, an employee of mine suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. He was excellent at his job and extremely well-liked by the rest of our department. His partner also works here. We are currently interviewing for someone to fill the now-empty role. At what point (if ever) is it appropriate to relay any of this to the candidates? So far, no one has asked why the job is open. While folks in the department are wonderful people, I have no idea whether any leftover resentment, awkwardness, or other weirdness may happen when our new person starts their job. There is some interaction between this position and the partner’s position, so I’d like to …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I tell people at the company we just acquired what they’re in for? A few years ago, I started at a small company which within a year of me joining was acquired by a massive international company based on the opposite coast. At the time, my boss and the now (forcibly) retired owner were told that we would still be able to be largely independent, with more support for the work we do currently. It wasn’t until all the paperwork was signed, sealed, and delivered that everyone realized this couldn’t be further from the truth. Staff and offices we were promised wouldn’t be touched have been gutted. Our workload has a…