Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. One of the oddest things about interviewing people for jobs has always been how frequently candidates say they don’t have any questions when I ask what I can answer for them. This is a job they’re considering spending a large chunk of their waking hours at for the next however many years, and it’s likely to have a significant impact on their day-to-day quality of life and progression in their career. Surely there’s something they’d like to know about. At New York Magazine today, I talk about why people don’t ask questions in interviews, why that makes a bad impression, and 10 especially strong questio…

Years ago, I used to do occasional round-ups of things I like, just for fun. I haven’t done one in years, so here’s a new one. 1. Alyssa Limperis’s mom videos. Hilarious. 2. Riki Lindhome’s take on So Long Farewell from the Sound of Music. Also hilarious. 3. Catalog Choice. They unsubscribe you from catalogs and I love them. 4. This chicken and her kittens. 5. The charity Undue Medical Debt, which buys and erases the medical debt of people who can’t afford to pay it. 6. This illustrator. 7. The Bloggess’s mortification series. 8. Alley Cat Allies, which is an excellent charity helping cats without homes. Feel free to share your own random sources of joy in the co…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Especially early in your carer, it’s common to think that they way your workplace does things is normal — and then you move somewhere near and discover that having a goat shrine isn’t normal at all. This can also happen if you stay at one job for a long time, or if you move to a new field. We don’t always know that what we’re surrounded by isn’t normal — until something makes us realize that it’s not. Today’s “ask the readers” is a suggestion from a reader, who requests stories of “expressions, traditions, methods that you thought were universal but which you learned were actually just a weird thing y…

Domestic violence can intersect with work in all sorts of ways. We’ve seen it in letters here, from the many people worried their coworkers may be experiencing abuse at home to the person whose colleague wanted to fire someone for being a victim of abuse. And some years back, we had an excellent letter from a survivor full of things her workplace could have done to help her, but didn’t. I recently spoke with Bella Book and Nina Kanakarajavelu of Futures Without Violence about their work to help employers to support workers experiencing sexual harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, and here’s our conversation. Tell us a bit about the work you do in t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Am I being a grouch about this touchy-feely group activity? I work at a school. As the closing activity for today’s professional development session, Fergus (an administrator) split us into three groups, then asked two-thirds of us to stay seated with our eyes closed while the other third stood and moved around the room. Fergus read a series of prompts and invited those who were standing to “connect with” (that is, tap or pat on the shoulder) someone the prompt applied to (“connect with someone you admire,” “connect with someone whose work you’d lik…

A reader writes: I’m managing a department of eight people and two of them won’t speak to each other. I’m new to my position and it took me a couple of months to figure out that they weren’t talking. They literally won’t speak to each other. If we have a meeting, they won’t participate if the other person is in the room, unless I address a question directly to one of them. I’ve been managing them for three months, but from what I can gather it’s been like this for at least two years. There seem to be a couple of other people in the department who are on one person’s side or the other, and it is affecting the department’s work. Everyone who has been with the company fo…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose office had been sent someone who couldn’t do the work by a job placement firm that said they’d lose their funding if the letter-writer’s office didn’t keep her? The hire, Carol, not only couldn’t do the work, but was disruptive — and her wealthy parents were being disruptive too. Here’s the update. I found some menial tasks from the lists given and put Carol on them. She really liked making paper chains…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pushing them to fundraise from their family and friends and tap their personal network for prizes for raffles? Here’s the update. In the months during which my boss was pressuring me to solicit gifts, I managed to procure exactly one in-kind gift from a local business I frequent, and I was so awkward doing it. There’s a local yarn shop that I frequent, so I intended to ask the owner for a donati…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose anti-vax employee was pressuring a coworker not to vaccinate her baby? Here’s the update. I really appreciated your advice and several of the thoughts from the commenters as well. I have weekly one-on-ones with each member of my team, so after reading your response, I used that next meeting with Cordelia as an opportunity to step in, after taking care of our usual business. I used the framing about how if the roles were reversed, if Dawn didn’t want to vaccinate and someone was pressuring her to, I would need to shut that conversation down, because Dawn deserves to b…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they were missing red flags at their new job since their coworkers kept expecting them to be miserable? Here’s the update. I’m still in the job! My boss is still a stickler, that hasn’t changed, but I’ve adjusted to him, and things have stayed pretty stable overall. I’ve now been here about nine months, and I’m hearing a lot less about the dog (thankfully) and a lot less doom-and-gloom about how the job will “turn nightmarish any day now.” It hasn’t. My team lead and colleagues are go…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer wondering at what point they could report their inappropriate and inflammatory coworker? Here’s the update. I finally quit so now I can update. One of the details I was obfuscating before was that we’re both student workers in our 20s at a post-secondary institution. Unfortunately, I couldn’t apply too much of your advice because things got CRAZY basically immediately after, but I still greatly appreciated the advice and the sanity check from you and everyone who commented. My question got posted the week before U.S. election day. The first words Kevina said when she walked…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering if they could ask their coworkers to tell them to shut up when they were talking too much? Here’s the update. I was the person who wrote in a moment of desperation trying to figure out how to stop myself from endlessly talking with/at coworkers and posed the idea of having a button made to tell people to tell me to hush (you know it was bad times when that sounded like a good idea). Warning for cont…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer wondering whether to suggest that their employee rethink her career path? (They were having to outsource a large report she should have been responsible for because of the quality of her work.) Here’s the update. Mindy is still with our organization, but possibly not for much longer. We ended up not outsourcing the report, but I had several conversations with her over the course of this year about her growth with the organization, as she’d requested a promotion to a senior manager role — a position…

Remember the letter-writer wondering if she could take care of her baby during the workday since her job was undemanding? Here’s the update. Your response gave me a lot to think about, and ultimately I realized that I was completely bored by my job and needed something with more challenge and growth potential. I decided to take a transfer to a more high powered team. It was a lateral move with no pay increase and more work, but a ton of skill building and potential for growth into other higher paying cross-disciplinary teams. I took the transfer about halfway through my pregnancy so I was able to onboard and finish my training before maternity leave. Infant care spots ar…

Remember the letter-writer who asked if they had crossed a line with the (messy, chaotic) organization they volunteered for? Here’s the update. I’m the person who was angry about an Instagram post from the nonprofit that I was volunteering at. Duncan and Isadora did leave the board, although they still volunteered on a lower level. You mentioned that the nonprofit might not have great results towards its mission, and the truth is that the results are mixed. The organization’s goals are met, for the most part, but not without the great over-efforts of five or six people, myself included (which had earned me the nickname “Superstar” within the org). Things came to a head …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking whether she had to share her story on a “women in industry” panel? Here’s the update. So … I ended up doing the panel. I talked to multiple trusted women at work and outside of work, who almost always encouraged me to do it, even if just for the experience and to showcase myself. For what it’s worth (now that the panel is over), I work in the construction industry as a superintendent. My job is to organ…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose employees were being cruel to a gross coworker? Here’s the update. I fear this won’t be a very satisfying update. As I sat at my desk and read your email asking about an update, I took a few moments to look up from my screen and across the office to watch Meredith. Within those few seconds, I saw her pick a scab off her face and eat it. So yeah. I had my first conversation with Meredith months ago. Our job is one that exposes us to food, biological material, and chemicals, so at the sugges…

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose employer who laid them off and then wanted them to sign an indemnification (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. Your advice was incredibly helpful. My previous manager continued to send me multiple followup texts regarding the indemnification that felt very guilt-tripping (reminding me they could not proceed with the critical business operation unless I signed and agreed). I did not reply to any of the tex…

Remember the letter-writer who was struggling to get their email inbox under control? Here’s the update. I was the person who was overwhelmed by my inbox and was looking for help to manage high volume comms. Overall, the chaos of busy season was definitely easier to manage this year, even though the volume of email did increase up to around 300+ a day in the peak season, likely because I have been in my role longer so more people know me and like to ask me stuff. I really appreciated the commentariat suggestions and would love anyone to add any more systems and hacks – and to those who manage 1000+ emails a day, I take my hat off to you! What worked: * Having set times…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who asked how to adjust to returning to the office after working from home for five years? Here’s the update. It’s now been almost five months since the 50% in-office mandate began, and it has been … an adjustment, but not nearly as difficult as I anticipated. I ended up choosing to spend one work week of the pay period in the office, and the other work week at home. (For context, the work week for our state government agencies is Wednesday through Tuesday, so that means I go in on Wednesday, Thurs…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering how to keep cat fur off all her work clothes (#5 at the link)? Here’s the update. You were kind enough to post my question and your readers responded with a wealth of information and advice. Since I’m retiring in a few weeks, and cat fur on office clothes will no longer be a problem, I thought an update might be in order. Plus, who doesn’t love update season?! The number one piece of advice I receiv…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking how to live down a reputation for being “extra”? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for publishing my letter a year ago. I really appreciated your advice and the kind responses in the comments. Looking back, I was in a dark place emotionally and a toxic work environment when I wrote. I don’t think I really recognized how anxious and unhappy I was until I was beyond it. Believe it or not, I’ve remaine…

Remember the letter-writer asking how to manage someone with poorly controlled ADHD? Here’s the update. I found your response very helpful and I’m working my way through all the comments as well. The situation was already resolved by the time this was published, but it’s helpful to reflect back on what I could have done better, and hopefully others will learn from this too! It’s fascinating to see the commenters weighing in on the importance of accommodations vs personal responsibility. I’m also learning a lot about the uniqueness of ADHD coping methods, not only that different people find different approaches helpful, but also that the same person will need different a…

Remember the letter-writer wondering how long should it take for HR to tell her if her accommodation request would be granted? Here’s the update. I wrote you a couple of weeks ago wanting to know how long it should take my employer to get back to me about an accommodation request. I have an update: My request was granted! I decided to talk to my boss (even though HR said not to – don’t know why) after a commenter suggested asking my boss if we could do 2-days-in-office as a test while I was waiting to hear back from HR. He didn’t agree to the test idea, but after I told him what was going on, he said he would tell HR that they should give me whatever I need. He’s very s…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose mother was pressuring her to babysit their brother in their office after school? Here’s the update — and some more advice from me. Thank you for answering my letter! It was too late to reply to the comments after work, but I’ll address some of them here: For those asking if I still live with my mother: I moved out when I was 18 and live in my own apartment with roommates. My brother was born when I was 10 years old, so that’s where the age gap comes from. For those asking why my brother can’t just stay at home like most teens: He usually does, but given my brother’s …