Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I work in a close-knit workplace where we try to be supportive of each other’s struggles. This has resulted in some people having new positions created for them when they are not medically or emotionally able to handle the one they are currently in, often with raises and perks like being able to work from home, a private office, choosing their own hours, etc. While this sounds wonderful and equitable, it leaves some of us, okay, me, feeling a little resentful. I’m a private person! I don’t want to be the squeaky wheel. I pride myself on being self-sufficient and a model employee. I love the people I work with and the work I do. I find it rewarding and w…

A reader writes: My office is returning to a physical space in the fall and they are giving managers a lot of leeway to decide on remote/hybrid work. I manage eight people on my team and I know a number of them would be happy to never come into the office again. They have all proven themselves more than capable to work from home. However, I personally work best when I can see/talk with people in person, at least periodically. What balance can I strike between giving my team what they want and what I need in my own work style? I would love to ask each team member to come in at least once every 1-2 weeks, but unless there’s a true need is that out of line? I guess my ques…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it OK to compliment coworkers’ nails or haircuts? I believe that comments on people’s bodies are totally inappropriate at work, and in life in general. But if someone has changed their hair or has some cute nails (I myself do not do these cute things but notice them), is commenting on them in the same category as body stuff? Technically it is part of their body, but it doesn’t seem as bad to be “oh the magenta highlights are cool” or whatever. Should I stop commenting on haircuts and nail design? One school of thought is that it’s fine to comment on things that are obviously a deliberate choice — like a shirt or a …

A reader writes: I’m a manager of a four-person team, on which I was previously an individual contributor. The four team members work in cubes in an open office area and my office is down a nearby hall. We’re a casual office, and the team generally gets along well. While each person has their own accounts and tasks, they interact with each other throughout the day, chatting and discussing work. The issue is two members of the team, Peach and Daisy. Peach is very open with her mental health struggles and is an open book on most anything but can be emotionally volatile. Daisy, who sits next to Peach, tells me that Peach is constantly on an emotional rollercoaster. She say…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I work in a field that leans heavily towards freelance gig work these days, but I’ve been lucky enough to work in-house for a firm since making a career change into this industry six years ago. I’ve done a bit of freelance on the side here and there, but not a lot, and I haven’t been self-promoting as a person who’s looking for work because, well, I wasn’t! I had a full-time job that I loved! Well … now I’ve been laid off as my firm downsized, and I’m going to have to go freelance on pretty short notice. Obviously I’ll be job searching as well, but it’s hard to overstate just how much this industry is based …

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Lost Lambs, by Madeline Cash. As their parents’ marriage unravels, their three teenage daughters each get into different sorts of trouble. Funny and a pleasure to read. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 7-8, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Last month we talked about bosses and offices with weirdly outdated expectations from a far-off era. Here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The host A former boss had very strong ideas about technology. Pre-pandemic, some employees had access to Zoom and used it occasionally for in-house meetings. Obviously, in 2020 we had to pivot to using Zoom for every meeting. My boss insisted that he be the “host” and the only “host” of Zoom meetings. He said it was important for people to know that he was host, in the sense that he was convening the meeting and responsible for the meeting outcomes. He could not be convinced that in a Zoom context, most of the hosting …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker sends emails with deadlines, then asks everyone to answer immediately I work in an office and I have a coworker who is one of the few on the admin team with me. We’re peers; neither of us manages the other. She has a habit that I find frustrating: she will send out an email giving instructions and a deadline, then start following up immediately. As just the latest example, today, it was wanting to know shirt sizes so she can buy company merch for employees and attendees of an event we’re having if they’re bringing family members or significant others. She put in the email that that we should send an answer by…

A reader writes: I had an awkward moment the other day with a client and it made me think that others have probably made similar mistakes, and it could be fun to hear from everyone. I’m a lawyer and working with a client preparing to testify about their innocence after being in jail for decades. I was in the prison working with him earlier this week, and he was doing really great work, and as feedback I kept telling him he was “killing it!” As in, “You’re killing it!” And, “Great job killing it!” Alison, he’s unfairly in jail for murder and has been his whole adult life. I know that, and yet for the life of me Could. Not. Stop. Saying. It. In my subsequent reflection a…

A reader writes: I do communications and marketing and would love your advice on something that happened my first time managing a team. I had a marketing assistant, “Kitty,” who was very earnest and a brand new grad from the fancy university in town. She was good at visuals (so the promotional graphics and fliers touting our products on social media) but less so on writing up the descriptions needed for a company like ours. Typical interactions would go like this: Kitty’s draft: CompanyName just released a new line of teapots inspired by London. The teapot are red. Me, when, reviewing drafts: This is a good start, but let’s try to make these teapots sound like the be…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss assigns work by pulling names out of a hat I work on a team of about 10 people. At our weekly meetings, my manager tries to assign out any new tasks. Team members usually volunteer for tasks related to their ongoing work. But when no one volunteers to take on a task, he pulls names out of a hat to see who gets assigned. These tasks aren’t always quick things; they can take a lot of time. This frustrates me so much. To me, it’s dismissive of the other work we have and just bad management. The team doesn’t really push back on it, but I’m wondering if I should. When no one volunteers to take on an assignment, I t…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We have to demote a really dedicated manager I’m involved in a small, local nonprofit animal shelter. I started as a volunteer and am now an officer of the board. Two years ago, our very competent office manager quit. After two crash-and-burn failed hires, one of our part-time kennel help wanted to try to step up into the position. On a trial basis. Over a year ago. And while she was never officially given the job, things just … limped along. Kasie is awesome in many ways, great with people and incredible with the animals. But she lacks the initiative and judgement to successfully fill this role. I will add she is open…

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday so let’s talk about workplace romance. Did you spot coworkers having a secret affair without realizing how obvious they were being? Did your boss date your dad and try to get you to go to couples therapy with them? Did you spend a ton of time mediating between two employees who hated each other and then they ended up dating? Was your coworker always making out with his girlfriend at work? Did your colleague leave a rambling, drunken message for his secret office girlfriend — but accidentally leave it on the boss’s voicemail instead? Let’s discuss workplace romance gone both wrong and right. The post let’s discuss workplace romance gone w…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee was upset they had to use PTO for bereavement leave A few years ago, I worked at a large nonprofit that had generous PTO, but no other “buckets” of time. Sick, vacation, family care, all time off fell under PTO. One of my reports was caring for a terminally ill relative. Our working relationship was a bit tense as I was having productivity issues from this person, but I tried to separate those conversations and be supportive and offered them any time off they needed (though minimal to none was taken that I can remember.) Unfortunately, the family member passed. I told them to take all the time they needed. I …

A reader writes: I have a new employee, Joe, who has been with me about six months. The headline is that he’s pretty terrible. He lacks knowledge, his work is slow and often wrong, he lacks attention to detail, shows no sense of urgency, ownership or understanding of priority, and requires constant hand-holding to even get close to completing tasks. There’s a lot to unpack about him but the short story is: I made a big hiring mistake and I know separately that I need to address it. This letter isn’t quite about that though. Recently, a distant relative of Joe’s wife’s passed away. That’s sad. He was sending me constant (and unnecessary) updates about it. We have a super…

A reder writes: Over the past few years, my responsibilities have grown well beyond my original job description. I now manage procurement end-to-end, track budgets, support multiple project managers, and draft reports. This expansion has happened informally — no title change, no pay adjustment, and no formal acknowledgement of the shift in scope. What’s making it harder is that after four years in the role, my team lead has openly said they don’t really understand procurement. As a result, I often feel like I’m operating without informed oversight or support, yet I’m still accountable when something is questioned. Recently, I attended what I thought was a general catch…

A reader writes: A few months ago, we had to do an “about me” presentation during a department meeting— we had to post pictures of our families and give a brief description of our interests/who we are. I’m not a big fan of these things for several reasons. One is that I would prefer to keep my family life out of work, and one is that it can cause discrimination, which is the reason I’m writing. I’m white, my husband is black, and my kids are obviously mixed. Literally the day after my presentation where I posted my family picture, my manager, supervisor, and some coworkers have changed how they treat me. I don’t jump to discrimination right away, but I don’t know what e…

A reader writes: I don’t like being interrupted when I’m speaking, but it seems that everyone I manage interrupts me when I’m in the middle of speaking, even including a brand new employee who is constantly finishing my statements! In the past, I’ve said things such as “what I was saying was…” or “hang on, I wasn’t quite done” and it works at that moment but not long-term. How can I let people know that I don’t appreciate being interrupted without being rude myself? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You…

A reader writes: I’d like advice for keeping your sanity when acting as someone’s PTO back-up. I had a former coworker who I was paired with for many of our responsibilities. When she took time off, she would set her Teams message to “do not disturb” for two days prior to going on PTO and two days after returning. This would add an extra four days to the time I had to cover for her because no one could get ahold of her and I was the default. However, when I took time off and she received a request for me, she would just tell them, “You will have to wait until Jane is back.” Nothing happened when I tried to talk my manager about it. A current coworker just puts my name …

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – March 6, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Manager uses employees’ photos for AI-generated images Recently, my partner’s boss fed employees’ headshots (from LinkedIn) into an AI model to generate “personas” of them (for example, an IT specialist might be the “Tech Wizard” and the AI image would be their face on a character dressed in wizard robes) and then hung them on their desks. She did this without their knowledge, much less their consent. My partner felt their privacy was violated and is unhappy about it. However, they didn’t approach their boss because they thought she would get upset, and they didn’t want to manage her emotions or be accused of not bein…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I think my remote employee is doing child care when she should be working I have an employee (we are all remote) who just returned to work from maternity leave. It’s been almost two months and I have noticed a couple of troubling patterns. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but two other team members mentioned these same concerns to me. 1. She always has her camera turned off. This is not an issue for most meetings but, during our monthly all-team meetings, I have asked everyone to turn their cameras on. She has not turned hers on for either meeting since her return. 2. She is always on mute and, when…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker doesn’t want me to lift heavy boxes I work in a supply store that sells a variety of goods and also does returns for a large, very well-known company. One of my coworkers, a middle-aged man named “Carl,” has attempted to stop me (a woman in my 20s) from moving the closed return boxes every time we’ve worked together, warning me “they’re heavy.” (Our computer system ensures that nothing weighs over 40 pounds). I’ve told him that I don’t mind moving heavy boxes, but it doesn’t seem to register. Yesterday, when he told me not to take a full cart of boxes to the back room, I said, “You seem concerned about me …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I saw my coworker’s pregnancy announcement on TikTok I was just scrolling TikTok, and a video from “someone you may know” popped up. It is a coworker of mine, whose number is in my phone because we sit near each other and sometimes need to coordinate watering plants and such. It turns out she’s a somewhat well-known content creator in a pretty wholesome and innocuous genre. The video I landed on was especially well liked, because she used it to announce her pregnancy. I’m very happy for her and would like to congratulate her! However, I don’t know if she would think it’s weird that I watched her video. I’m a man who s…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’ve run out of a patience with a rude coworker I’ve run out of patience with a difficult coworker, Mary. I’m one of the few people who has to deal with Mary in person, and my work is closely tied with hers. She’s entry-level while I’m mid-level, but I’m not her manager or supervisor. She has difficulty completing her work, which causes many problems for her. I have tried mightily to be her friend and mentor for the past few years, but her struggles continue. We’re locked in a difficult dynamic where I have to sit back and watch her flail, and I bear the brunt of her complaints. On a personal level, most people find h…