Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I manage an employee who, to put it frankly, has a bad attitude. Negative about everything: our job, our clients, life in general. A constant rain cloud. He brings down morale quite a bit, and other employees have made comments to me about how hard it is to work with him. Where I struggle is that I have a lot of sympathy for him and the many health problems he has been facing the last few years. He was in a car accident that he sustained pretty big injuries from, was diagnosed with a chronic disease which causes him constant pain, and also has had to deal with the sudden loss of a sibling. I feel like I would kind of hate the world, too. How do I addres…

A reader writes: I manage two departments, each led by a supervisor — one a married man and the other a single woman. While I work in a separate building, I’ve received numerous reports from my boss, peers, and direct reports regarding their behavior. They are inseparable: taking all breaks together, sharing a single desk, whispering closely, and staying late whenever the other does. The optics have become a significant distraction. Seven different people — including those outside our organization — have commented on the inappropriateness of their closeness, with some making “get a room” jokes. While their deliverables aren’t egregiously late, I often experience delays…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker got promoted and I didn’t even get to interview for it I’ve been in my job about five years. I’m in a specialized role in my large organization, along with Rachel, who I helped hire and train. We each handle separate areas. It’s been rewarding work, and I feel like I’ve found something I’m good at. I like the mission, and the pay and benefits are good. But the office politics are a struggle for me, and we’ve been going through some big changes with a reorganization and significant leadership changes. As part of the reorganization, last year Rachel and I were absorbed into a different department. While I g…

A reader writes: I had an awkward moment the other day with a client and it made me think that others have probably made similar mistakes, and it could be fun to hear from everyone. I’m a lawyer and working with a client preparing to testify about their innocence after being in jail for decades. I was in the prison working with him earlier this week, and he was doing really great work, and as feedback I kept telling him he was “killing it!” As in, “You’re killing it!” And, “Great job killing it!” Alison, he’s unfairly in jail for murder and has been his whole adult life. I know that, and yet for the life of me Could. Not. Stop. Saying. It. In my subsequent reflection a…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. What to do about serious problems you never see firsthand (#2 at the link) Great advice and so many great responses – thank you! it is indeed nonprofit early childhood education, with infant, toddler and preschool classrooms. I got two big things from this conversation – I am indeed not crazy, this is a solvable problem. And I got some strong language for how to name what is going on and try to shift things next time. Here is what I ended up doing this time: With this director there had been a previous situation where I had looped in the supervisor, and the director was upset, why hadn’t I talked to her, she thought w…

A reader writes: My brother-in-law works for a company of about 600, with branches of 80 or so in several cities across North America. His department had three employees who served their branch in an HR-type capacity. One employee moved, leaving only him and his manager to handle their caseload. This was okay. Then the manager left. The branch managers called my brother-in-law in and told him that he was now the acting manager but there would be no pay raise “at this time” but they appreciated his work and knew he could handle this opportunity. While the caseload on him went up, he was able to shift work to other branches so there were no late nights or long hours. Stil…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Is it out of touch to expect student workers to check their email? I work at a fairly small college, and I’m noticing that more and more students aren’t checking or responding to their email regularly. Some of my colleagues say that they have to text the students in order to get a response. I really don’t want to do that unless it’s a time-sensitive situation. My instinct is to tell the students (the ones who work for me anyway) that email is still a really normal business tool and they need to get used to it because it will be part of their professional lives for a while to come. But I also recognize that I’ve worked…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – March 20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: This Is Not About Us, by Allegra Goodman. An estrangement between two sisters over apple cake affects three generations of a family over decades. Each chapter explores a different family member, but all the stories are interconnected. I loved it. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 21-22, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker overheard me complaining about them I have a new-ish colleague, Jaime, who I feel hasn’t really been pulling their weight. I was talking to someone else in the office about a project we’re working on and how I thought Jaime would be leading the project but that they were pushing all of the work onto other people when the project is what Jaime was hired for. I know my tone was very negative about Jaime during the conversation. Well, I didn’t realize Jaime was in the office that day and am pretty sure they overheard the conversation. I ran into Jaime later that day and they gave me a sad look, but did not sa…

A reader writes: I do communications and marketing and would love your advice on something that happened my first time managing a team. I had a marketing assistant, “Kitty,” who was very earnest and a brand new grad from the fancy university in town. She was good at visuals (so the promotional graphics and fliers touting our products on social media) but less so on writing up the descriptions needed for a company like ours. Typical interactions would go like this: Kitty’s draft: CompanyName just released a new line of teapots inspired by London. The teapot are red. Me, when, reviewing drafts: This is a good start, but let’s try to make these teapots sound like the be…

A reader writes: I don’t like being interrupted when I’m speaking, but it seems that everyone I manage interrupts me when I’m in the middle of speaking, even including a brand new employee who is constantly finishing my statements! In the past, I’ve said things such as “what I was saying was…” or “hang on, I wasn’t quite done” and it works at that moment but not long-term. How can I let people know that I don’t appreciate being interrupted without being rude myself? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You…

A reader writes: I know salary negotiation is typically acceptable, expected, and wise, and I even did recruiting for a year or so. But I’m job hunting again, and I’ve never seen this question on an application before: “To ensure equitable compensation, we benchmark salaries against nonprofits of similar size and budget, because of this, we don’t negotiate salaries. The salary for this role is $96,650. Please confirm that this aligns with your desired salary expectations.” (Dropdown: “Yes, I understand that the salary for this role is $96,650.”) Does this mean I shouldn’t ever bring it up? Also, related: Say the salary is below market rate or a huge range, and you kno…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Candidate used a slur during a job interview I’m the hiring manager for a position at a nonprofit. The role has a lot of in-person interaction with clients, so we are looking for people who are well-spoken. One of our candidates used a lesser known slur during her interview. I won’t say what the slur was, but it’s a term to indicate being duped or swindled, and the word comes from the name of an ethnic group. I didn’t address it in the moment, but I can’t stop thinking about it. How would you have handled this? And, should this error carry weight? On one hand, I understand that when you’re speaking on the fly like in …

A reader writes: One of the directors at my company, Meredith, has been undergoing executive coaching sessions for around six months. These are supposed to be to give her management coaching and experience, as she currently has none and has three direct reports, including me. However, it’s come to light that instead of using these sessions to learn how to manage and learn leadership skills, she’s essentially been using them as free therapy/counsellng and has been aggressively running down members of the team instead! One of the members of the team accidentally discovered the full transcripts from Meredith’s sessions on our company cloud — in a public folder, not even h…

A reader writes: As a manager, new parent, and generally busy person, I work some strange hours. For example, yesterday I was online at 2 am (as my daughter woke me up during the night and I decided to use some time to clear my work inbox ahead of a busy Monday) and 10 pm (as I finished early to play with my daughter but needed to meet a deadline). I don’t expect these kinds of hours from my team or want to encourage people to work outside of hours if it doesn’t suit them, but sometimes these are the hours that suit me! What can and should I do to make it clear that what I do isn’t what I expect from the team and that following my example won’t have any impact on my opi…

A reader writes: I am conducting interviews next week, and normally my workplace sends interview questions to interviewees 30 minutes prior to the interview. This is in an attempt to provide a more accessible and equitable experience for our interviewees who may need additional time or feel more comfortable when they know the questions ahead of time. This also aligns with how the employee would normally work — having ample time to review and respond to questions. All our interviews are remote. I am working with a new panel member who suggested we stop this practice because they were finding candidates were using the extra time to have AI generate answers to the question…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is charging personal purchases to our team I work in higher ed on a small team. All of us are able to make purchases up to a certain amount with little to no oversight. I have suspected that my coworker has bought things for herself. It seemed like a few small things here and there, a $30 hand cream, essential oils, things that didn’t seem to have a business purpose. Recently I purchased an expensive item (with permission) for the office. She said someone asked her where it was from and asked if I could send her the link. A week later, a box arrives with this very item. I look up her purchase order, which…

Domestic violence can intersect with work in all sorts of ways. We’ve seen it in letters here, from the many people worried their coworkers may be experiencing abuse at home to the person whose colleague wanted to fire someone for being a victim of abuse. And some years back, we had an excellent letter from a survivor full of things her workplace could have done to help her, but didn’t. I recently spoke with Bella Book and Nina Kanakarajavelu of Futures Without Violence about their work to help employers to support workers experiencing sexual harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, and here’s our conversation. Tell us a bit about the work you do in t…

Remember the letter-writer who needed to tell a new employee he’s not cut out for the job? The first update was here, and here’s the latest. After far too long, I was able to terminate Tom. As the “fun” project wore on, he started telling me he was overwhelmed, and I started stepping in to do increasingly more of his work. Don’t ask me why I found his requests for help so compelling, I’m still mad at myself about falling for them. After delivering the “needs improvement” conversation, his work improved for a few months. But then something snapped, and he completely fell below the minimum threshold. Multiple important meetings no-showed. Entire afternoons where I was un…

A reader writes: My manager, Katherine, is a C-suite level executive who joined the organization eight months ago. She was previously my skip-level manager (former boss’s boss), but due to a large RIF/company restructuring four months ago, my former manager is no longer with the organization, and another colleague and I were asked to co-lead the remaining team, reporting to Katherine. Before the restructuring, I had met her maybe twice, and at the time of my recent performance review, this was my second 1-1. Many of the projects I worked on last year are no longer considered company priorities after this restructuring. During my performance review, Katherine admitted th…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want to stay in a haunted hotel on a work trip I’m a junior employee at a smaller firm (100-200 employees). I travel about once a month for work and typically stay in generic hotels. I’m heading to a small town on my next trip and the project manager suggested we stay at a cute old historic property. Not a problem, I go to book, and it says the hotel has a friendly ghost. I am absolutely petrified of ghosts and paranormal things — think years and years of weekly therapy. The two people I’m traveling with are more senior than I am, and I’m a little embarrassed to say, “Hey, I know you’ve stayed here before but …

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I’m a longtime reader and huge fan of Ask a Manager. I wondered if you’ve ever done a column about people who were busted as writing in — people whose coworkers, boss, family, or friends read a post and realized the author was someone they knew. I have not, although I know of a few times when it’s happened: If you remember the manager whose best employee quit when she wasn’t allowed to go to her college graduation, the employee herself recognized the letter years later and wrote in, one of the other interns fired for writing a petition about the dress code wrote in a year later, and someone who thought they …

Remember the letter-writer whose new team thought they were incredibly overworked, but they actually did nothing? Here’s the update. I wanted to send an update as many of the commentators had requested one. I was the person who wrote about the team that spent all their time reading books and organizing their record collections, and yet kept insisting they were Really Very Busy. Alison’s advice was spot-on — I was only there on a temporary basis, so I decided to just enjoy the madness as a casual observer before I went back to my permanent role. There was a lot of discussion in the comments as to why the team was behaving the way they were, and some of the commentators …

A reader writes: I wonder this each time I get a cold and thought I’d get your opinion. My company has hybrid work; we’re expected in the office three or more days per week. I have a cold so told my manager I’d be WFH on Monday and she was supportive. I was still feeling crummy on Tuesday so again told her I was WFH, and she again was supportive but less enthusiastically so. So now it’s Wednesday, I still have a cold but symptoms are manageable with cold meds, and I feel like I have to go in. I’m planning on wearing a mask but will still be more miserable than if I was allowed to WFH with all my creature comforts for surviving a cold. My boss hadn’t explicitly told me I …