Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer trying to decide if her coworker was harassing her or just annoying? Here’s the update. I was away from my desk the day my question was posted so didn’t get to interact with the commentariat but I did go thru and read all the comments. Thanks all for your advice! It got worse before it got better. Early August, Joe asked me what I wanted my nickname to be as he was going to give me a nickname. I replied, “I don’t do nicknames at work.” Later that month, he said to another one of my coworkers, “T…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 19, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. I worked for my mom and now she won’t stop bugging me with work questions Five years ago, I was offered a job at the company my mom had been working at for 20+ years. At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my career and I needed the insurance and a higher wage, so I accepted the offer despite my knowing it was ultimately going to be a bad situation. Unfortunately, I stayed for five years in the horrible working conditions. One of which was working directly for my mom all five years. During my five years at that company, I took it upon…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employee keeps working unpaid overtime and lies about it (#5 at the link) When I had a stern talk to Pam warning her she would be fired for any further unapproved overtime, she wrote an email to say she was suing us. This bizarre announcement prompted me to start poking around as you advised. I discovered Pam had been stealing cash from work. It explained a lot about her eagerness to do overtime. She was outraged when confronted. Pam declared that she was innocent before g…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. Our office didn’t have bathrooms or water, but they wouldn’t send us home (#3 at the link) After your response was published, I reported the incident through our anonymous compliance network, who forwarded it to employee health, not HR. I got a lukewarm response, something about management being in contact with HR the whole day, but it never addressed why we all felt like we were being…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asked whether they’d been wrong not to interview a problematic volunteer for a paid job? Here’s the update. You and the commenters were extremely helpful. I was reassured that the decision itself was not inappropriate, but better communication would have helped a lot along the way (isn’t that always the case?). One of the first things I did was go back and re-read the personalized rejection I had sent Stephan…

Here are my favorite posts of 2025, in no particular order: 1. my employee keeps insisting he looks much younger than he is (but he doesn’t) Because humans are weird, and I love that. 2. good things that came from socializing with coworkers: marriages, dog adoptions, and more Because this was heart-warming, and these things are easy to overlook. 3. how much deference do good managers want from employees? Because breaking down this kind of question is one of my favorite things. 4. my team doesn’t want to work for a client whose politics they disagree with Because a lot of people are grappling with this right now. 5. my colleagues are upset that we’re not “speaking…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who thought one of their employees might be trans and was wondering how to signal support (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. Thank you for publishing my letter in July. Your advice and the comment section were both very useful. Everyone was very kind and a lot of people had good advice. I decided to follow the advice of not saying anything to Jane or focusing particularly on her, instead turning my focus to…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My allergic colleague has food demands I can’t meet One of my job responsibilities is planning and ordering catering for all of my office’s meetings, trainings, gatherings, and the annual regional corporate holiday party. I’ve taken account of everyone’s dietary restrictions, and I make sure that the restaurants or catering companies always adhere to these specifications and restrictions, whether they are ethical, religious, or allergy. I send a menu out to those with restrictions and make sure that they feel they have enough to eat and are taken c…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Can I report my coworker’s drunken, racist aggression outside of work? My two coworkers and I discussed the weekend’s events and ended up reporting the incident with Fergus the very next day. My boss was horrified and immediately had him sent on a flight back to his home country that evening, and told Fergus’s manager that regardless of the outcome, he was not welcome in our country program again and he wanted another teammate assigned to our program. It turns out, Fergus h…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. I think my disastrous ex-employee is co-opting queer identity Where do I begin. I followed the advice and said nothing, generally kept my distance. Pam sowed chaos “leading” the LBGTQ+ group. She created what an ex-member described as a sexualized atmosphere, including a pinup photo of her in an event announcement. A lot of members left. A young employee, Mary, very publicly accused P…

Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared about holidays at work over the past month. 1. The succulent For several years I managed a team who were all at individual satellite offices. During my site visits over the holidays, I gave them all little gift baskets which included a small, fake succulent (most of the offices didn’t have windows). On a subsequent visit about six months later, I found out that one employee had been watering hers every day, and was proud to show me how healthy it still looked. Fortunately, she thought it was hilarious when she found out it was artificial, and it brought the whole team a lot of joy. 2. The panda onesie Our new vice preside…

A reader writes: People in my office frequently come into work very obviously sick and many times get other people sick. Most people do not have the ability to work from home with the work we do. We’ve sent a firm-wide message telling people that we prefer that sick employees stay home, as to stop the spread to the rest of the staff. Unfortunately, this didn’t make much of a difference. I understand that people want to save their paid time off for more enjoyable times, but it’s not fair to the coworkers to whom they spread their germs. (We also offer six paid sick days, separate from vacation and personal leave.) What else can we do? I answer this question over at Inc.…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer wondering whether to write a list of rules so a colleague, Paul, would treat them decently? Here’s the update. I’ve recently taken a step that commenters had advised — leaving the group. Getting Paul to leave (your excellent advice) wasn’t an option, though perhaps me leaving will push things in that direction. I alerted five people to why I was leaving, and a number of them seem to be realizing that the grou…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Employee missed work because of birthday drinking An employee I manage called out today due to being hospitalized over the weekend for alcohol poisoning. The employee went out to celebrate their birthday over the weekend and overdid it on the partying. I realize this is out of work conduct; however, it is affecting the employee’s job because they called in to work. Do I have a leg to stand on if I have a serious conversation with the employee about their judgment and how this type of behavior could negatively effect their employment with our compan…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My boss sent me a bereavement gift, then demanded to know how I felt when I received it Your advice and everyone’s comments really helped me get some perspective on the issue. I took your advice and sent a brief thank-you to the boss for the bereavement gift, saying I hoped my colleagues had passed on my appreciation at the time. I decided to treat the weird tone of the boss’s initial email as likely ChatGPT / Autocomplete / Inbox-wrangling-fatigue strangeness and definite…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was asked out on LinkedIn (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update. It was really interesting seeing the commentariat split. I come from a family with a lot of public and semi-public figures (think your local news station’s traffic guy rather than, like, celebrity nepo baby) and unfortunately, we’ve dealt with actual stalkers that required police involvement before, so I’ll admit to being on higher alert to bei…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer who was inheriting an employee who causes chaos wherever they go? Here’s the update. Thank you so much for taking my question several months ago about having a “chaos employee” forced upon my department. I have an update and a feeling there will likely be a more dramatic addition some years down the road. I ended up talking my department out of taking on Pat! We dodged the bullet! I didn’t mention to my super…

A reader writes: Two years ago, I began managing Craig, who had been doing the same tasks day in and out for a decade. He hadn’t adapted to new technology, best practices, or industry trends. My first order of business was to coach him and challenge him to grow and learn. For more than a year, we built up a great trajectory. People saw how much his work improved and commented on it frequently, and said he seemed revitalized in many ways. His progress gave me a lot of hope that he could become good at the modern demands of his role. Then about six months ago, Craig suddenly reverted to his old patterns. It was as if the prior year of progress got completely wiped out. On…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose employee was demoralized after a promotion was dangled in front her and then yanked away (#3 at the link)? Here’s the update. I met with Maple, the head of our office, and was able to uncover the truth about why they decided not to promote Joy (though it took some deeper questioning to get to it). It was your third possibility: Maple had concerns with Joy during the decision-making process. Maple felt th…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My staff found me bound and gagged after a robbery I’m a 32-year-old woman who was recently made manager of a small financial firm. Being fairly young, I’ve had to overcome skepticism and sexism from my staff, but after three months I’ve established a reputation for being efficient, fair, and a bit stern. It’s worked, I’m respected, and we all get along very well. Several mornings a week, I arrive very early for some alone time. Last Thursday, I arrived at 7 a.m., (we open at 10), and was “greeted” by a couple of thugs who demanded money, bank car…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. How do I manage petty behavior between two employees who dislike each other? For context, I am not the manager of either of these employees, just an innocent bystander trying to help the manager figure this out. The feedback that was given to both of these employees was relatively similar to what you suggested. Basically, the manager focused not on the specific incidents, but instead on telling these employees that the expectation is that they treat all coworkers with profe…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update. Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in offic…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking whether she had to share her story on a “women in industry” panel? Here’s the update. So … I ended up doing the panel. I talked to multiple trusted women at work and outside of work, who almost always encouraged me to do it, even if just for the experience and to showcase myself. For what it’s worth (now that the panel is over), I work in the construction industry as a superintendent. My job is to organ…

A reader writes: I recently realized that one of the managers who reports to me, Blake, uses abusive language with his employees. Blake’s employee fear that if he knows they have reported this to me, it will create a further problem for them. I need help on how to give feedback to Blake without giving him the feeling that I came to know this from his team members. I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here. Other questions I’m answering there today include: Interviewing with the team I’…