Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose mother was pressuring her to babysit their brother in their office after school? Here’s the update — and some more advice from me. Thank you for answering my letter! It was too late to reply to the comments after work, but I’ll address some of them here: For those asking if I still live with my mother: I moved out when I was 18 and live in my own apartment with roommates. My brother was born when I was 10 years old, so that’s where the age gap comes from. For those asking why my brother can’t just stay at home like most teens: He usually does, but given my brother’s …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Earlier this month, we heard from someone whose CEO shared photos of his recent family vacation at a town hall after announcing budget cuts, no bonuses, and increased health insurance costs. And we’ve heard about plenty of other out-of-touch executives before — like the company that quizzed employees on the new boss’s horses, family, and vineyard (yes, really), or the manager who wanted everyone to share their best and worst moments of the pandemic, or the CEO who joined a meeting about layoffs remotely from a golf course. Please share your own stories of out-of-touch leadership in the comment section…

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2021. A reader writes: My fiancé, “Ted,” has worked for 10 years on a small, very close-knit team, all of whom seem to get along exceptionally well. All the team members and spouses/partners socialize outside of work together as well, and we consider them all to be close friends. We thought they felt the same. A few months ago, on the way to a work event, Ted and his coworker/best friend “Bob” were involved in a serious car accident and were rushed to the ER. Everyone waited anxiously for hours as they both underwent surgery. Thankfully, they both recovered. When Ted r…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I started a job eight months ago that I was very excited about. I was looking to get out of a highly stressful position and got this offer (same pay, somewhat worse benefits but growth potential) and what I thought would be a solid work-life balance. The first day, my boss mentioned how we typically end at 4:30. I’m used to working long hours so I was excited, thinking I’d have more time with my two small kids and husband. I was very wrong. The first couple months were good and then “efficiency” became a big part of conversation. I was asked why reviewing a report would take me 15 mi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Most of the time when you leave a job you hated, you do it professionally — you give notice, you transition your work, you move on, even when there’s malice deep in your heart. But sometimes you get the opportunity to go out with a bit more verve — for example, the person who quit with two hours of notice the week before a big project was due … exactly the same way they treated him when he’d been demoted four months prior. And obviously we must never forget the person who spelled out “I quit” in cod. Not all final F-you’s are so visible. Some are more discreet, perhaps known only to you. But all are s…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I accidentally peed on a fabric chair at work I’m close to tears writing this. I was drinking some water at my desk and some of it went down the wrong tube, which led to a coughing fit. I coughed so hard that I peed. This is the first time this has ever happened and I’m mortified. Worse still, it happed on a specially ordered orthopedic chair with a cloth seat. And yes, the urine soak through. What do I do?!? I’m afraid if I tell my manger they’ll be horrified and wonder how I could possibly be incontinent. I don’t want to be the coworker who peed o…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we discussed final F-you’s to jobs or bosses you hated, and here are 18 of the best stories you shared. (Caveat: appearing on this list is not an endorsement of said behavior in every case! Stories are shared primarily for entertainment value.) 1. The revenge A legal secretary at the Big Law firm I worked at knew she was going to be fired, so the day before she went into a bunch of partners emails and sent their wives evidence of infidelity, printed out confidential employee evaluations/communications about bonuses/pay and left them in everyone’s desk, and then cleaned out the swag closet (…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker’s anxiety becomes my problem I have a coworker, “Lily,” who reports to my manager and has been at the company for two years, with our team for four months. She and I are both pretty new to the workforce (we are 25 years old), so I would appreciate some advice on handling this situation in a mature and sensitive way. Lily does great work — she’s diligent, detail-oriented, and on top of all our tasks. However, she seems very anxious all the time, and her anxiety can feel overwhelming. She has a tendency to talk very fast without making ey…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m a recent grad, and I’ve been searching for my first full-time position. Recently, I was invited to second round of interviews for an event planning position at a national organization with a recognizable name. It included a schedule of seven virtual half-hour interviews with different groups of people at the organization and a request for me to prepare a 10-slide presentation of a potential event for the organization and challenges I might face. I thought seven interviews were overkill for such a junior position, especially as the organization does not specialize in event planning…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. People are bouncing on yoga balls during Zoom calls I’m at an all-remote company. Zooms are our go-to. In the Zooms I organize, I prefer videos off and most people know that. (So I don’t have to do my hair or get distracted, and it just drains me so much!) Obviously I make exceptions where called for. But I’m at the mercy of others when I join their meetings, and a lot of them have videos on as a default. And a few of my coworkers have recently started bouncing on yoga balls and walking on walking pads throughout their meetings. This makes me feel …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work at a fairly large international company with several offices and remote workers all over the country. I manage a team of three graphic designers. My position and team are all new; previously all design work was outsourced. I was hired to put together a team and bring design in-house. I did all of the work in the beginning, and added additional designers one at a time. I am exempt, and my team are all non-exempt. Now that the team is running well, I’m finding myself without much to do. I meet with my boss biweekly to relay the status of our projects, new clients, vendor issues,…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in the five-person office of a large pre-school. My colleague, Amy, keeps a five-gallon fish tank near her desk with between two and four fish in it. The tank is in full view of the office door and the lobby beyond. The fish are important to the school; when our young students are overwhelmed and need to calm down, the office fish are often their first stop with their teachers, and “saying hi” is often enough to stop a crying jag. The kids love watching the brightly colored fish, who all have fun names, and Amy loves them, too. She takes great care of the fish, arranging feedin…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Talking to an employee about body odor I manage a large department with several sub-departments. I have been working myself up to addressing an issue for quite some time, because it is a sensitive issue that I don’t know how to handle without fallout: personal hygiene. One of the staff members who has been with me for several years has been showing up to work for the past year with an odor that is less than pleasant. This was not an issue previously, and I attribute it to becoming more comfortable in the environment and slipping into a pattern of l…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My company’s head of DEI outed me to 800 people I’m a nonbinary trans person working in sales for a multinational company. I’m out-ish at work. I’ve told my direct team I’m nonbinary, I have they/them pronouns in my email signature, and I wear a mixed wardrobe. I’ve not told anyone I’m trans directly, but I wouldn’t deny it if it came up. That said, the industry is conservative. Most colleagues assume I’m a man regardless of what I wear and everyone still get my pronouns wrong, even those who’ve asked. I mention this to say that I’m open but cautiou…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is not a current issue, but it’s something that has been eating at me for a long time. I’m trying to figure out if I unwittingly helped someone embezzle money. I believe the statute of limitations has passed for this (potential) crime in the state that it took place in. It has been 15+ years now. My mother has always been a little shady with business her practices. I do not believe she has any qualms about “bending” the law. She is also very charismatic and I suspect would be quite an effective cult leader (i.e., good at talking people into things, frequently nefarious). I’m onl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just received an email from my company’s corporate marketing team inviting me to speak on an internal diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) panel about my experiences being a woman in a male-dominated industry during the national Women in (Industry) week this spring. I know exactly why they asked me – I am the only woman in my company in my position! Let’s say I work in the auto industry (not what I actually do, but my industry is just as male-dominated). My company has a lot of women in sales, accounts, management, etc. but I am the only female mechanic out of probably 300 mechani…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I own/manage a business, let’s say a retail heath care equipment supply company that is located in a larger health care campus. I have multiple employees, and for a six-hour shift they get two 15-minute breaks. It isn’t intense or overly physically exhausting work, but I realize it is nice to step away for a few minutes. No problems until a few weeks ago when I hired “Deleana.” She looked great on paper so I hired her. Come to find out she is a smoker. Recently we had a meeting about her ongoing tardiness from breaks and the possibility of disciplinary action, up to and including ter…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My manager was one of the good ones, completely trusted their team, didn’t micromanage, would support and defend us, and was just generally a friendly person. Their death was sudden and devastating to a lot of people, to say the least. Our team is fewer than 10 people, and most had worked closely with our manager for 5+ years and some had been friends for longer. Our company offered to pay for all expenses so we could all attend the funeral, since some of us are remote. One local coworker, Sam, didn’t go and didn’t even give an excuse as to why not, and it has caused a major rift. O…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. If you’ve ever come to work after getting a bad night’s sleep and struggled to be productive — or just awake — it’s probably occurred to you that being able to take a quick nap at work would be an incredibly worker-friendly amenity. Of course, in most offices, sleeping on the job is an absolute no-go and could get you fired … but that doesn’t stop people from looking for ways to pull it off anyway. At Slate today, I wrote about people who openly or not so openly nap at work, as well as the companies that embrace napping on the job. You can read it here. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose coworkers had way more money than her but constantly expected her to shell out cash for meals and gifts? Here’s the update. Thanks for posting my letter and for your advice a while back. I have a somewhat unsatisfying update. The gift-giving has slowed down considerably, presumably because the federal workplace isn’t exactly festive at the moment. However, the original issue recently showed up in a different form. Our office admin offered to put together (what I understood to be) a no-host happy hour as a send-off event for a colleague who recently got DOGE’d. (Note: …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Real Americans, by Rachel Khong. This is an epic family saga told in three generations: a pair of scientists who fled China’s Cultural Revolution, their daughter, and the son she has in America with the wealthy heir to a pharmaceutical company, whose business is intertwined with her parents in ways she learns of only later. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full a…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Show Don’t Tell, by Curtis Sittenfeld. I will read anything Curtis Sittenfeld writes, including short stories, which normal frustrate me for being … short. As she has moved into middle age, so have many of her characters, including one story that revisits the protagonist from her novel Prep. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use that link. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Over the years, we’ve heard about people who chose some pretty odd hills to die on — people who became so strongly committed to a minor fight that they lost all sight of logic and decorum. To wit: “Our break room has a giant whiteboard calendar in it. Last year the company sent us a new one and asked us to start using it at the first of this year. Not really sure why … the other was perfectly usable and there was no differing info on it, but hey, whatever! The new calendar is slightly smaller than the previous one – as in the previous calendar was 36×48 inches and the new one is 32×44 inches. The woma…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Case Histories, by Kate Atkinson. After loving Liz Moore’s Long Bright River, I wanted more literary fiction mysteries where the character development gets as much attention as the plot. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article