Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss blames my employee for getting stuck in the Middle East during the war My employee used six weeks of vacation to go back to his home country with his pregnant wife and toddler. It was the first time he’d be with his parents and siblings all together in over a decade. He was due to fly back three days after the war with Iran started, and as his flight went through that region, his flight was cancelled. He was rebooked two weeks later but tried daily to get a different flight and showed up to the airport, he and his family fully packed, because flights going out that day weren’t officially cancelled until around …

Content warning for upsetting discussion of sexual abuse of children. A reader writes: I spent most of my 20s managing a business, eventually becoming more or less second-in-command. The owner was an older guy in his 60s. He was a bit of a grumpy guy and more conservative than me in many ways, but we overall got along very well. I found that he was generally a fair guy, and we bonded over a few shared interests. I wouldn’t call him a “friend,” but we had a good relationship. He sold his business in 2020 (he was planning to retire that year anyway and the pandemic moved up the timeline a few months). He and I stayed in loose texting contact until I stopped hearing from …

A reader writes: I’m doing an internship at a nonprofit. My current boss is getting a promotion and changing jobs. She was a great boss and I want to thank her and keep the mentorship going, but I’m not sure how to do so without being awkward. Any ideas? Tell her! Let her know that you’ve really appreciated working for her and why — be specific here about what she’s taught you, if you can — and say that you’d love to stay in touch and potentially even meet up for coffee occasionally. You could say, “I respect your judgment so much that I’d love to be able to come to you as a sounding board in the future, if that’s something you’re open to.” From there, make a point of…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – April 10, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Candidate used a slur during a job interview I’m the hiring manager for a position at a nonprofit. The role has a lot of in-person interaction with clients, so we are looking for people who are well-spoken. One of our candidates used a lesser known slur during her interview. I won’t say what the slur was, but it’s a term to indicate being duped or swindled, and the word comes from the name of an ethnic group. I didn’t address it in the moment, but I can’t stop thinking about it. How would you have handled this? And, should this error carry weight? On one hand, I understand that when you’re speaking on the fly like in …

A reader writes: About three years ago, we had a new manager start at my job, Fergus. Fergus is a very nice guy, but has never been a manager before. He delegates some of his core tasks to us, and seems to struggle with things like project management, clear and proactive communication, and HR-type stuff. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when he has a tricky situation, he will come to me and ask my opinion on how to handle it, and I coach him on what to say and what actions should come next. (Before I started here eight years ago, I’d been a department head at my previous company. That place was toxic as hell, and I happily took a step down out of management to get out…

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. My boss made me verify that I’m really exercising (first update) A happy update. Today we had our spring quarterly all-staff meeting, where HR announced the return of the flex-time exercise program. Two changes were made to the program: 1. Structure around verification requests, include who may request verification and why. (Only your direct manager may initiate the request, which must be routed through human resources.) 2. A “exercise program log” is now the only document that we must produce for a verification request. This is a spreadsheet provided by HR that we can complete electronically or by hand, and simply i…

A reader writes: I would love some feedback/advice for how to deal with a difficult colleague in a different department. We work with this department to handle legal mattes for our group, so we have to liaise with him occasionally. He is a terrible communicator. Every time we meet, he goes on long, irrelevant tangents that are the same or similar each time. We usually have a lot to cover in these meetings, and I hate wasting time when things need to get done. At our most recent meeting, he had rescheduled a number of times and then at the last minute decided to call in rather than show up in person (so I was already annoyed). After being asked direct, straightforward q…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Dear Committee Members, by Julie Schumacher, which is told entirely through letters — mostly letters of recommendation, but also some emails to colleagues — from a disgruntled literature professor at a mid-tier university. If you like novels about the absurdities of academia, you will like this. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – April 11-12, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Domestic violence can intersect with work in all sorts of ways. We’ve seen it in letters here, from the many people worried their coworkers may be experiencing abuse at home to the person whose colleague wanted to fire someone for being a victim of abuse. And some years back, we had an excellent letter from a survivor full of things her workplace could have done to help her, but didn’t. I recently spoke with Bella Book and Nina Kanakarajavelu of Futures Without Violence about their work to help employers to support workers experiencing sexual harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, and here’s our conversation. Tell us a bit about the work you do in t…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Lake Effect, by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney. When two neighbors have an affair, the effects reverberate on their families, and particularly their children, for years. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 28-29, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: Can we have a thread on “people who do not want this job”? Notable entries for me include the person who applied to be our lobbyist who was extremely clear that he was going to use our contacts and access to lobby for legalization of psychedelics (dude, we are educators, that’s not even related) and the person who applied for the admin job but very clearly wanted the lobbyist job and all his questions about the admin job were how to get promoted to the lobbyist job. Second place goes to the two people who applied for several of our jobs because they wanted any job that would get them across the country. Yes, indeed we can. Another example: the guy worki…

A reader writes: There have a been a few questions recently that are along the lines of “How do I explain that (insert reason here) is why I want to leave my job?” I am curious what interviewers are getting out of asking this question. People leave for a multitude of reasons or no reason at all, and are going to put the best spin possible on the answer if they are asked. How does what someone states as their reason for leaving translate to helpful information for hiring? Because sometimes the answer gives really helpful information. Not always, but enough of the time to make it worth inquiring. For example, if a candidate says they’re leaving their job because it invo…

A reader writes: I’m a long-time reader. I often see you advise writers to get advice from an attorney. You even once covered how to tell your current employer you are bringing in an attorney. I’m seeking advice on an ADA matter, but I’ve run into a weird issue. It seems these days, most firms have a policy where they simply won’t talk to you about your current employer. I’ve actually been told by multiple firms to “call back when I get fired.” If there is a possibility I’m in the wrong, I’d very much rather know now, before it gets that far. I suspect this is a result of firms using a contingency model where they only get paid if you win a lawsuit or settlement. That’…

A reader writes: My company has a habit of recruiting and hiring a replacement for fired employees before the person has actually been fired. The replacement doesn’t start work until after the original employee is gone, but the company is recruiting and interviewing before they’ve told the person they will be out of a job (and the person has no idea the company is actively interviewing for their spot). I suppose that this is … practical? But it feels so slimy! They’ve done this secret recruitment, not advertising the position in their normal ways so no one sees that it’s open and figures out what’s happening. It also prevents anyone internally from applying for these po…

A reader writes: I’m hoping for some guidance on dealing with an employee who is convinced she isn’t advancing because she’s a woman, but it’s truly due to her putting in barely adequate effort and believing that advancement comes from checking off boxes and “time served.” We’re in a creative niche industry that’s fairly evenly split between men and women, although the larger industry that we’re a part of is still very male-dominated. Our company is a small privately owned company (under 50 people), roughly evenly split, with women at all levels, including in leadership. I’m a woman in the top level of our company and am involved in deciding who is ready to be promoted…

A reader writes: Years ago, I got to know Fergus, the head of a local organization I worked with through my previous job. Fergus eventually left the organization to pursue other opportunities, and shortly afterward, I had a meeting with other members of the team, including the person who had succeeded him. At one point in the conversation, I asked if they knew how Fergus was doing and received a fairly non-committal answer. A couple days later, I received an email from the new manager that had very clearly been written by lawyers, informing me that after Fergus’ departure they had discovered financial improprieties during his time running the organization and had severe…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: How to be Good, by Nick Hornby. When her husband suddenly becomes saintly, a woman and her kids must cope with the pressure. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – April 25-26, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you fire someone you wouldn’t hire now? I recently attended an event where a speaker said that if a manager is evaluating to let go a lower-performing employee, they should ask themselves, “Would I hire them now?” And if the answer is no, then let them go. I don’t believe in black and white decisions. The presenter probably didn’t think of it that way but it feels that way. What is your take on this? If you’re trying to decide how to proceed with a low-performing employee, “Would I hire them today, knowing everything I know now?” is a useful question to ask yourself. I don’t agree that “no” should always point…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I confessed my crush to my manager I’m asking for advice about my manager. He’s a tier above me, and it’s frowned upon to hangout with different tiers outside of work hours, though it still happens. My manager told me he takes the rules very seriously, although I recently learned that isn’t true because he does hangout with lower tiers outside of work, and has flirted with women in his department, which feels hypocritical. He was transferred over to my department a couple of months back, and while he was going through the training process leading up to it, I confessed my feelings for him. I explained that I want to ho…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My manager and coworker are fighting and I’m stuck in the middle My manager, Rose, is not good at her job. She routinely forgets things, does a terrible job advocating for the department, plays favorites, and isn’t proactive at solving problems. My coworker, Donna, is also not good at her job, but in a personal sense. She’s horrifically burnt out but isn’t taking steps to address it, holds grudges over slights that happened 5+ years ago, and goes from 0 to 100 in her moods. Adding fuel to the fire, Rose is conflict-averse, Donna is conflict-prone. As I’m the newest person in the office without the 10 years of beef thes…

A reader writes: I need help in assessing the pros and cons of going to work for someone with no experience managing employees. I have over 10 years of experience leading teams or managing programs in IT and am looking at senior mid-level roles. I’m currently in the process of interviewing for a role that seems very promising and checks off almost all my boxes. Yet in the process of learning about the hiring manager, I discovered that this person is a recent graduate (less than five years ago) who was rapidly promoted into a role that now sees them managing people. I would be the first person they hire and manage. This is concerning to me, as I’m afraid that someone wi…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Fox Wife, by Yangsze Choo. A Chinese detective story in which the grieving mother hunting her daughter’s killer happens to be a fox who can turn into a woman. Slow-paced, beautifully written, and a bit heart-breaking. (Amazon, Bookshop) I earn a commission if you use those links.  The post weekend open thread – April 18-19, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: For the last five years, I’ve worked at a nonprofit with around 80 employees. Up until about six months ago, I was full-time and the two primary roles I had during that time were in middle management. Now I’m part-time (10 hours/week), not in any management/leadership position, and in a different department. Our organization serves victims of power-based interpersonal violence, so there are several practices/policies in place to try to maintain client and staff safety. One is that our building is at a confidential location and staff have fobs to get in. It’s common to hold the door for a coworker to get inside or let a coworker in if they forgot their f…

A reader writes: One of my employees has asked for a massive raise. He has good reasons for wanting a raise: his responsibilities have ended up being very different than what he was originally hired for, he’s been doing very well with them, and he’s definitely paid below market for what he’s ended up doing. We hired him at $15/hour for an entry-level position with no hard requirements, and based on some quick market research, I’d say the work he’s doing now is closer to a $20-$25 range, so I’m actually in favor of giving him a pretty substantial increase. The trouble is that he’s asked for an increase to $40/hour, and he’s only been here for four months. That’s more tha…