Performance Tracking and Feedback

Here’s a round-up of advice about counteroffers. can I leverage a job offer for a raise at my current job? should I use a job offer to get a raise at my current job? should I talk with my manager before I accept another job, even though I wouldn’t accept a counteroffer? my job made me a shocking counteroffer can I ask an employer to match a counteroffer from my current job? when a recruiter wants you to commit to not accepting a counteroffer some cautionary tales my company made a counteroffer to keep me — and now is attaching strings to it my employer made me a counteroffer, then rescinded it I accepted my company’s counteroffer, and now they’re going back on o…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I saw a question about switching back to the office after working from home, and thought I’d throw the opposite out there. My previous jobs have all been mandatory on-site, with a mix of hands-on procedures and computer-based work. Relatively soon, I’ll be moving to a position that is both 100% desk work and remote (full-time WFH is, for many reasons, not for me, so I’ll be joining a co-working space). This job is a great fit in many ways and I’m excited about it, but I’m looking for ideas of how to make 100% desk work sustainable. I’m a very active person, so I think I’m going to miss all the motion during …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do we have to return to the office or be fired? Is it always the case that workers have to decide whether to comply with return-to-office mandates, or leave or risk being fired? My large, multinational company has instituted a return-to-office mandate, and recently released their policy regarding compliance and punishment. Some aspects seem so unreasonable and obviously intended to reduce headcount that I wonder if they are legal. This company has many subsidiary offices across multiple countries. During the quarantine years, we hired a lot of remote workers. One subsidiary office was even officially made a 100% remo…

Some years we talked about people who get weirdly competitive at work, and I’ve been sitting on this great collections of stories ever since, so here it is! 1. The game of tag It was a company team-building event, they made us play tag. Some senior directors got so into it they ran FACE FIRST into a wall. And cringily after that, ANOTHER senior director actually went and tagged the poor man while he was nearly unconscious on the floor. I remember nothing about my very temporary work there, but would probably never forget that game of tag. 2. The raffle disappointment At Christmas, we used to draw names out of a hat for small prizes. Soaps, $5 gift cards, small crafts,…

A reader writes: I manage a small team of customer service/account managers. I have a long-term client who is quite particular and has dealt with one of my employees for a few years now. Recently, I’ve brought a new employee on board and we decided to transition this account over to her. The client sent me a polite, but very stern email after about one week, requesting to be put back in the original employee’s hands immediately. Nothing really happened to prompt this, the new employee hasn’t done anything wrong, and our strategic goal for this year is to split up clients in a way that means she should be handled by the new employee. I personally think it’s quite rude to…

A reader writes: I’m writing for some advice on how to help my mentee set expectations at work. I work at a small educational site. Alice came to us through an independent living program for young adults with disabilities, and she was absolutely fantastic as a volunteer. She was extremely passionate about the work and already had independently picked up a bunch of extremely niche skills (for anonymity let’s say it’s reconstructing historical rice sculptures) that would normally take years of training, so most of the guidance I was giving her was more in relation to her soft skills and building confidence in her own abilities. She also has A Lot going on in her personal …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps suggesting I should babysit his kids I work in an office environment, somewhat causal, but we have absolutely no involvement with anything children-related. So I have no idea why a manager here seems to think that I would be interested in babysitting for him in the office or outside of work. For reference, I’m a mid-20s woman in a mostly male office. The manager in question, Fergus, is above me in the hierarchy but not my boss (I report to two people above him). I’ve known for a while that he has two young children, and the nature of our jobs is either long hours, an odd schedule, or both. He has often …

A reader writes: Twice in the past year, I’ve been asked to provide a reference for a former report, “Enid.” I hired Enid in mid-2019 and she reported to me until mid-2021 when my role changed. I think she left the organization at the end of 2022. She was an incredible employee: shining in the position and tapped on the shoulder for extra projects that highlighted her skills. Absolute pleasure to work with in every way. In February 2024, Enid asked if I could be a reference for her, and I was happy to oblige. I did so, provided a positive reference, and let her know afterwards. We’ve not had contact since. Just last month, I received a voicemail saying that Enid has li…

A reader writes: My coworker – who is not my boss – is trying to micromanage my projects, and I am having difficulty responding effectively. About six months ago, I was appointed to a leadership position for a well-known nonprofit in my area of expertise. I’ve generally enjoyed the work and feel well-supported, with the exception of one coworker, Linda. Linda is about 10-15 years older than I am, though I have more professional expertise and public-facing engagement in this field. She is in a different department than I am, but she acts as though she thinks I report to her, instead of to my actual boss (who is also her boss) and she constantly wants updates on my proje…

A reader writes: Recreational marijuana is legal in my state, but I don’t necessarily want my independent retail store to smell of it, given that we want to give our customers a pleasant shopping experience. I myself get migraines and other adverse health effects from the strong smell of it and cigarette smoke, not to mention that I’m asthmatic, but I don’t want to police my employees in their free time. However, my employee has started to arrive at work reeking of it. Their belongings and their personal space radiate the smell by at least 10-20 feet, so between them being at the front and their belongings in the back, half the store smells of it. I am very new at mana…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps taking off her pants (she’s wearing shorts under them) I have a coworker, Silvia, who almost exclusively wears thin cotton shorts to work. We work in a manufacturing facility and wear cleanroom jumpsuits that fit over our clothing. Since the weather has turned colder, she has started wearing sweatpants over her shorts. We can all be sitting in the lobby chatting, and Silvia will casually start kicking off her shoes and pushing her pants down to remove them, using her feet like a toddler to scrunch them on the floor and push them away. Today we were having our Monday catch-up with the supervisor and manag…

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2014. A reader writes: I started the position I’m in just 2 months ago as an account executive. Before this position, I was an admin assistant and volunteer coordinator elsewhere. I am also 23, I’ve been working since I was 14 and been in office roles since the age of 19 – meaning I’ve been working long enough to pick up on office politics, and to avoid dramas. Quick background of my current workplace: 12 full-time employees. Most employees have worked there for over 2 years. Some 6 years. Pretty much everyone is close but nice, and I’m the newest and the youngest. I’m …

A reader writes: I manage a team of four. One of my staff members, Jeff, asked to go to a conference that was about a five-hour drive away. I approved the request as the conference would be good for his professional development. Three other staff members from our closely connected teams were also going. Jeff registered for the conference. A couple weeks later, he asked me about booking a flight to it. I was surprised by this, as the conference was a reasonable driving distance. I explained that the department would rent a van and the attendees would drive there together. (Our department wants to minimize expenses where reasonable, so this is norm unless it doesn’t make …

I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2021. A reader writes: My fiancé, “Ted,” has worked for 10 years on a small, very close-knit team, all of whom seem to get along exceptionally well. All the team members and spouses/partners socialize outside of work together as well, and we consider them all to be close friends. We thought they felt the same. A few months ago, on the way to a work event, Ted and his coworker/best friend “Bob” were involved in a serious car accident and were rushed to the ER. Everyone waited anxiously for hours as they both underwent surgery. Thankfully, they both recovered. When Ted r…

I’m off for the holiday, so here are some older questions from the archives. 1. My boss is pressuring me to microblade my eyebrows My boss has been pressuring me and the other two employees in our division to get our eyebrows microbladed by her friend. She comments on our eyebrows. She tells us it would be the best thing for us to do. She will show us photos of women with microbladed brows and say we should want to look as good. Since she’s the boss, there is no easy way to tell her to knock it off and I know my coworkers are as tired of it as I am. Personally I don’t think microblading looks good on anyone, and trends change (remember the over-plucked eyebrows of the 9…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Two Mrs. Grenvilles, by Dominick Dunne. A showgirl marries into an old money family, and there is a murder. My sister sent this to me when I said I wanted something light and it was perfect: a froth of gossip and old money and social climbing. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – January 17-18, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – January 16, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker smells like mildew and our managers won’t say anything We have a first shift and a second shift and rotate placements each week. I am on second shift, and my issue is with Ryan on first shift. Ryan is very nice, is a friend of my friend who got me the job, and seems to have pretty normal interests for a young man, but he absolutely reeks of mildew. So bad that every single one of our chairs permanently smells like mildew, as well as our floor mats, and whatever work area he is assigned to that week. I have worked here for just over a year and this issue started about six months ago. I realized how bad it wa…

A reader writes: When should an employer contest an unemployment charge and when should they let it be? I’m an HR department of one, and the managers have me contest almost everything! It’s hard to explain to them when it pays (poor performance) and when it doesn’t (gross misconduct). Can you help to determine what it should look like? This past year, we had an unprecedented number of firings and it’s been a doozy. Most of the time, employers should avoid contesting unemployment benefits unless something egregious happened. They definitely shouldn’t be doing it as a reflexive response to any unemployment filing. First, the basic rules around unemployment benefits: in …

Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My husband doesn’t want anyone I work with to know we’re married Thank you for publishing my letter — it was quite reassuring to read that this particular request from my husband was giving others pause as well. There was a lot of speculation in the comments, which was quite amusing to read, and lots of excellent points being made too! I do want to add that my husband has always been very conscious about sharing “private” info, but to be clear — he’s never hidden the fact that he is a married (straight) man, but he won’t go around telling his coworkers my name or my employer. Like you said, this was more of a husband p…

Movies and TV shows are notorious for getting things wildly wrong about real-life jobs. What’s something ridiculous about your profession that you’ve seen in movies or on TV? Please share in the comments. The post what’s something ridiculous about your profession that you’ve seen in movies or on TV? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker spends so long in the bathroom that I’m stuck with all the work Can anything realistically be done about a coworker who spends ages in the bathroom? We work in a cafeteria in four-hour shifts where there’s only one hour we serve food. It’s two people on our shift, me and Fergus. He’s in the bathroom for at least 15-20 minutes, sometimes twice a shift. He does sometimes wait until it’s slow, but sometimes he takes so long it goes into when we’re busy. Like yesterday he went at 5:25, and at 5:45 I got fed up and yelled his name. He finally came back. Lunch starts at 6 and we actually start making it at 5:30…

A reader writes: I’m dealing with two issues from the same event with the same employee. I am the manager for a warehouse distribution center for a larger company. For our holiday party, I handed out RSVP cards with a choice of one of three dinners for the employee and a guest a few weeks ahead of the party so we knew of a count for the meals and we could pre-pay. The dinner was at a somewhat upscale location (a country club). I was somewhat surprised when one of my employees (Kyle) showed up not only with his wife, but also a 5-6 year old child/grandchild. After the meal and while I was making a speech about how the company was doing, work anniversaries, etc., the chi…

A reader writes: I’m a professional woman in my early 50s hiring for a position on my team. My colleague (a mid-40s man) and I interviewed a good candidate for a junior position (a man in his late 20s) with whom we have each subsequently exchanged a few emails. In each email the candidate has sent to my colleague, he calls him “Mr. [last name]” but in mine, he calls me by my first name. We’re pretty informal in our office, were relaxed in our interviews, and have always signed our emails with just our first names. I’m confused by the difference in addressing us. My husband says it’s sexism and a big red flag. I’m curious as to your thoughts. I answer this question — and…

A few months ago, a commenter mentioned that they work as a conflict of interest professional, and many of us wanted to hear more. She graciously agreed to do an interview about her work, and here’s our conversation. Can you start by describing what conflict of interest professionals do, overall? So, broadly, conflict of interest professionals are usually housed somewhere in a company or university’s compliance department, working closely with the rest of the teams who make sure various laws or policies are being followed. In the most general sense, what we do is to ask questions about the non-work relationships and activities of our employees that could affect the pers…