Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. A group of coworkers are pushing for our in-office breakfasts to be vegan My company is doing a weekly in-office breakfast (a “hotel breakfast”-like assortment: toast, cheese, ham, eggs, yogurt and granola, etc.) with the goal of bringing people together, since we’re largely remote. A small group of vegan coworkers are pushing for a “plant-based default” breakfast, where all animal products are subbed with vegan replacements and meat and dairy are opt-in on request, citing sustainability (which is important in our company culture) and health benefits. I’m all for a diverse breakfast spread, but this seems a little ove…

I’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Customers talk about our sizes This question is for my coworker, Jess. We both work at a women’s plus-size clothing retailer (national chain) in the midwest. I do wear some clothes from here, but to most, I probably do not look like the average plus-size person. Jess is a little larger than myself. This is unfortunately relevant because customers try to relate to Jess in such ways like “Oh! You have a big butt you can help me [pick out something that would look good with my own big butt]” or “Oh, you get it with how big your hips are!” or the most co…

We recently discussed very big office battles over very small things, and here are 15 of the funniest stories you shared. 1. The new broker A couple of years ago, we changed benefit brokers. Not benefits, just the brokers. We sent out a quick announcement and had them come in so everyone could meet them. This did not affect people’s coverage. They actually got a dedicated phone number they could use for issues. People went bananas. Like we killed their brother. They liked the old broker. How could we be so disloyal? Why do they need a special phone number, they used to be able to just email the broker? This is going to be a disaster. Readers, it wasn’t a disaster. Our…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My daughter’s managers complained to me about her work My daughter is 19 but lives at home. She has had a full-time job at a local daycare center ever since graduating high school. I dropped by her place of employment the other day to tell her something. All three managers were in the front office. I smiled and greeted them with, “Hi. How’s it going?” I was shocked when, instead of the standard response, I got a barrage of complaints from all three about my daughter’s work performance. Apparently, she’s been repeatedly written up for neglect of saf…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This letter involves a very sensitive topic and some backstory, so bear with me. Would you consider it weird if a coworker brought along an unrelated college-aged girl to a work party where you could invite family? I ask because I was​ that college girl. When I was 19, I was a sexually frustrated lesbian with then-undiagnosed autism. Despite being at an LGBT-friendly university, I had no sex life and didn’t know how to approach women without coming across as some sort of creep. Every LGBT-related extracurricular I was in was centered on networking, political activism, or community, …

A reader writes: I moved to a new state a year ago and, in the effort to find community, I joined a grassroots nonprofit as a volunteer coordinator (as a volunteer, not for my job). Since I’ve joined, we’ve had transparency issues with the board. Every few months, someone would either join or drop off the board, and volunteers wouldn’t hear about it until a week or two after the fact. We also never had the organization’s bylaws or constitution available to volunteers, and no matter how many of us explained why we needed this, select board members would always give excuses as to why we couldn’t. At one point, they finally posted them, but when the website went through a …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is not a current issue, but it’s something that has been eating at me for a long time. I’m trying to figure out if I unwittingly helped someone embezzle money. I believe the statute of limitations has passed for this (potential) crime in the state that it took place in. It has been 15+ years now. My mother has always been a little shady with business her practices. I do not believe she has any qualms about “bending” the law. She is also very charismatic and I suspect would be quite an effective cult leader (i.e., good at talking people into things, frequently nefarious). I’m onl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is not a current issue, but it’s something that has been eating at me for a long time. I’m trying to figure out if I unwittingly helped someone embezzle money. I believe the statute of limitations has passed for this (potential) crime in the state that it took place in. It has been 15+ years now. My mother has always been a little shady with business her practices. I do not believe she has any qualms about “bending” the law. She is also very charismatic and I suspect would be quite an effective cult leader (i.e., good at talking people into things, frequently nefarious). I’m onl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This isn’t for my job, but it’s for a nonprofit organization related to my career that involves some level of professionalism. I’m afraid that I scared off a new member by coming on too strong to her. I volunteer at a STEM-related organization that mentors children. My position is at the state level, and a new person just joined at the group level. I met her for the first time at a regular group meeting. I’ll admit, I’m really attracted to her, but I still wanted to get to know her regardless of whether or not she’s interested. She’s the only other woman I know who’s in my field wit…

A reader writes: My job has a weekly meeting where a different employee each week presents to our group about what they’ve been working on for the past few months (academic lab meeting). The group is about 30 people and includes our boss/PI and everyone else in the lab group. There’s a tradition where the first five to ten minutes of these hour-long presentations are devoted to photos highlighting cool things from our personal lives. Almost everyone uses this time to show photos from things such as vacations, hobbies, hiking trails, their children’s school events, etc. I think it’s a cool way to connect with my coworkers and I think everyone else feels the same way. My…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just received an email from my company’s corporate marketing team inviting me to speak on an internal diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) panel about my experiences being a woman in a male-dominated industry during the national Women in (Industry) week this spring. I know exactly why they asked me – I am the only woman in my company in my position! Let’s say I work in the auto industry (not what I actually do, but my industry is just as male-dominated). My company has a lot of women in sales, accounts, management, etc. but I am the only female mechanic out of probably 300 mechani…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do I need to rush to buy a new car for my job? I have a long-term job where I didn’t need a car until a few months ago, when I began transporting stuff for a new project about 2-3 times a week. Unfortunately, my car recently broke down beyond repair. Fortunately for me, I live in a bike-friendly area and can also easily take public transit to work. Because of where I live and personal finance goals, I do not want to buy a new car right away. But now there’s this dilemma about who is going to transport project stuff. I have asked about a courier service and really hope one can be set up soon (but sometimes things take …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently started a new job where I manage two employees. One of them, “Carol,” is challenging to work with. I’ve learned that some candidates even withdrew from the role I now hold because they couldn’t see themselves working with her. While I generally get along with Carol, managing her is difficult. She can be loud, boastful (sometimes claiming credit for others’ work), and occasionally rude, making snarky comments to colleagues. She admits she’s not a morning person, but on some mornings, her mood is so sour I feel I need to walk on eggshells. She doesn’t hesitate to interrupt o…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader asks: I work for a small company of 25 employees. We still call ourselves a start-up (with all of the cultural elements that brings), but we’ve been around almost 10 years now. The founder believes “titles don’t matter” and it’s more important to focus on the responsibilities each person has. So most people have their official title as basically the department they work for (business development, software engineering, etc), although the management team does have official titles. Do job titles matter? Am I wrong to feel that I want my growth recognized through a new title? I answer this que…

A reader writes: Does HR-mandated manager training actually work, ever? I had a director whose behavior veered week-to-week from overbearing to toxic to straight-up illegal. He was very savvy and never put any of the worst stuff in writing. When confronted, he claimed that he was misinterpreted or blamed the language barrier (English is not his native language). However, it’s hard to misinterpret statements such as “how can we force this employee to take less parental leave?” (the employee was taking the amount offered by the company’s own policy and protected by the FMLA) or “this employee’s (supposedly anonymous) company survey results were not very good; you need to …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Getting drunk texts from a former coworker I have been remote working at a company for about a year and a half now, and have been enjoying it. About a month ago, I had a coworker reach out and ask if he could use me as a reference for a job he was interviewing for. I gave him my number for the application, I gave my reference to the company, and he left for his new job shortly after. Then things started to get odd. Now that he has my number, I’ve started to get gibberish texts from him late at night, almost like sleeptalking. Like “I’m such an idiot, going to baseball later, tell me why?” When asked about it, he has a…

A reader writes: The team I manage is very small. I am the youngest there and sometimes feel insecure about being the boss. Today in a meeting, a long-term employee who’s been here 15 years (much longer than me) announced that he would take steps to solve a certain issue. The issue needs to be addressed, his solution is good, and I appreciate him taking initiative. Nevertheless, I am not sure how to react to him just pointing out that he will handle something without speaking to me beforehand. How should I proceed? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and so…

A reader writes: I work in a company with a lot of young employees and a completely optional hybrid working policy. We have an office, but they no longer enforce any in-office mandates. I am basically a middle manager, and there’s no consistent presence of senior leadership in person. The people who come into the office the most are a cohort of junior-level employees right out of college who seem to enjoy the camaraderie of the in-office life. Of this cohort, last week there was one worker in her early 20’s who wore a skirt so short that I could see her butt cheeks. It was shocking, and I almost wondered if her skirt was folded up or if she didn’t realize. It didn’t get…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I own a business and recently I’ve had an issue with one of my employees. She will go all day without eating (because of what looks like poor planning) and then get very irritable with everyone and complains about being hungry. I’ll offer to order her something or offer her the granola bars we have in the break room, but she brushes me off. I think she thinks I’m being an annoying mom type but really I just don’t want to deal with her hangry attitude because it affects the entire office when she gets like that. Any tips? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today,…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee doesn’t know I have access to her emails I have a direct report that had to take a medical leave (two months) and during that time I needed access to her emails so I could assist customers who had pending issues, and the emails contained the information I needed. She is back now, but I am seeing some performance issues I need to address. She is not aware that I still have access to her email as IT never removed my access. I don’t want to micromanage, and I only look at it when there is an issue and I need to see what she actually said to a customer. I’m now seeing some things that are a bit concerning. At what…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee keeps falling asleep in meetings I have an employee who joined the team about 10 months ago. He is a good contributor so far, but I’ve noticed he has a bad habit of drowsing off during afternoon meetings, especially ones that are within an hour after lunch. I brought it up to him once about 2-3 months after he joined the team, and told him frankly that it was unprofessional and not acceptable. He agreed and said that he would work on getting better. But in the past month I’ve noticed it happening again. He’s also a bit older (maybe early 60’s though I don’t know his exact age) — not that age changes anything, …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee is afraid to fly I work on a small marketing team and have one direct report. A couple of times a year, our team is required to attend industry conferences to staff a booth. These events typically require air travel and are part of the job expectations, outlined in the job description. We rotate travel assignments so the same people aren’t always on the road. Earlier this year, after some high-profile plane incidents, my employee disclosed that she has a fear of flying and said she wouldn’t be able to attend an upcoming conference. In that case, it was fine — we had plenty of coverage. My question is: if thi…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My employee is in remote limbo and it’s impacting her work I have an employee, Jane, who moved two hours from our office during the pandemic. My manager, who has since been let go, told Jane she could work from anywhere. It was a verbal agreement never formally agreed to with HR. Since 2022, our company has became stricter about working in the office. In summer of 2023, our HR rep told Jane she had by the end of the year to come into the office four days a week or she would have to “exit” the company. Understandably, she freaked out and had difficulty focusing on her job. Unfortunately, she became ill and had to take …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee isn’t clearing decisions with me and argued with me at a staff meeting I am the executive director of a nonprofit, without any formal management training. I raised $1.5 million last year and we now have some new staff people, including a male technical expert who makes more money than I do (but reports to me). Today he got excited about attending a trade expo that I had previously considered and didn’t assign anyone to go to, because the demographics are on the young side for our program, so it’s not a top priority. My employee got invit…