Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s probably the most frustrating part of job searching: you have an interview that seemed to go great, you nailed every question and felt rapport with you interviewer, they seemed impressed and said they’d be in touch soon, and then … silence. Do you follow up with them? Did you wait for them to get in touch? Will you ever hear back? What happened? At New York Magazine, I wrote about what to do when an interview goes great but then you don’t hear anything. You can read it here. The post why haven’t I heard back after my interview? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer whose new boss told them not to take all their PTO each year? Here’s the update. I appreciated your advice, as well as the commentary from the reader community. Your reply was spot on to how I felt as well — vacation time was part of my compensation package, and them backtracking verbally after agreeing to it in an official offer that I signed felt very, very wrong. I had also declined another offer to take this one, so I felt betrayed in a sense with a bait and switch. I was so incredibly thankfu…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My manager set up a secret email address using my name I work at a community college. All regular employees at the college are assigned email addresses that begin with our last name. My email, for example, is LastName_FirstName_MiddleInitial@collegename.edu. In Outlook, if someone sends an email to a non-existent address, they will receive an “undeliverable” auto-reply. Several people have tried to email me using an incorrect email format (FirstNameLastName@collegename.edu). The incorrect email format doesn’t conform with the college email, so I a…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. My team received a suspicious text — and we wonder if our boss sent it as a way to secretly gain info It was reassuring to hear from you and the readers that I wasn’t being paranoid about the text. Unfortunately, the truth behind the mystery text remains unknown, though the official story is that it was “legit.” Shortly after your response, my manager ended up addressing the team, sayi…

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer who was the chair of a board and had one board volunteer making everyone’s jobs harder because of his struggles with technology? Here’s the update. I found your advice and the advice in the comments very helpful. To start, I wanted to clear up something that that came up in the comments: this is not a 501(c) organization, though we do volunteer work for them. I fudged some of the details to make my story less recognizable, but this is actually an employer-sponsored affinity group. So no, there is …

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer whose CEO was demanding everyone return to the office but people didn’t want to — and they were a manager stuck in the middle? Here’s the update. Just a few months after my letter was published … my team imploded. My boss decided after 10 years of service to leave the company to focus on his family, and due to the terrible state my industry is in right now, my team of 12 is now just three, including me. Losing…

A reader writes: The team I manage is very small. I am the youngest there and sometimes feel insecure about being the boss. Today in a meeting, a long-term employee who’s been here 15 years (much longer than me) announced that he would take steps to solve a certain issue. The issue needs to be addressed, his solution is good, and I appreciate him taking initiative. Nevertheless, I am not sure how to react to him just pointing out that he will handle something without speaking to me beforehand. How should I proceed? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and so…

Here are the posts that interested people the most in 2025, via two lists: the most viewed posts and the most commented on posts. Most viewed posts of 2025: 10. my employee keeps insisting he looks much younger than he is (but he doesn’t) 9. I rejected a student’s advances, but his parents are mad at me 8. my coworkers have way more money than me … and they constantly expect me to shell out cash for meals and gifts 7. I don’t want to babysit my brother in my office 6. updates: martial arts at work, coworker hates me, and more 5. our Gen Z employees want to be coddled and are struggling with the realities of work 4. I manage a terrible slob — how can I convince her…

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Coworkers are bringing kids to work but keeping it a secret from our boss I work in a small, open concept office and I am having issues with my coworker bringing children to work. My coworker “Sansa” has a grandchild the same age as the son of another one of my coworkers, “Arya.” The boys are best friends and they attended the same (all-day) preschool. There were several times over the course of the summer that the boys were present in the office, sometimes for the entire day, between times when their summer camps was not in session and my boss was…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. The post weekend open thread – December 20-21, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Remember the letter-writer trying to decide if her coworker was harassing her or just annoying? Here’s the update. I was away from my desk the day my question was posted so didn’t get to interact with the commentariat but I did go thru and read all the comments. Thanks all for your advice! It got worse before it got better. Early August, Joe asked me what I wanted my nickname to be as he was going to give me a nickname. I replied, “I don’t do nicknames at work.” Later that month, he said to another one of my coworkers, “T…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – December 19, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

As we head into the holidays, we must solemnly reflect back on the stories shared here over the years about holidays at work. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The chili cook-off I worked for a nonprofit, and every year there was a few months long period where every department would do some kind of fundraiser for the nonprofit. My department was famous for a lunchtime chili cook-off that included, of course, voting for a winner. It was my first year there, and my boss kept talking about how popular the chili cook-off was. We were advised we needed to quadruple our normal recipe to have enough for everyone. One coworker launched in right away with BIG talk about her rec…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Ladies in Waiting: Jane Austen’s Unsung Characters, by Adriana Trigiani and more. A bunch of well-known authors, including my personal favorite Elinor Lipman, reimagine the lives of some of Jane Austen’s minor characters, including Mary Bennett, Georgiana Darcy, Caroline Bingley, and Miss Bates. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – November 29-30, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – November 28, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any discussion you’d like to have with other readers (work or non-work or possibly even entirely dessert-focused if that’s your bag). Happy Thanksgiving! The post Thanksgiving free-for-all – November 27, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

Share your holiday angst or joy in this special Thanksgiving eve non-work open thread. The post Thanksgiving eve open thread appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s more holiday stories! Tradition dictates that as we head into the holiday season, we must revisit holiday stories previously shared by readers. Here are some favorites. 1. The rare books department I’ve changed up a couple of details from this being super recognizable, but I used to work in a rare books department in a library. People who work in rare books tend to have pretty esoteric passions that lead them there, and these were always on full display at said party. My favorite selections from over the years: – The brand new head of the department wanted to show off a bit at his first Christmas party, give a speech… and sing “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with his 2…

It’s 12 more holiday stories! 1. The elves Our office did Elf on a Shelf last year to determine who worked the holidays and who didn’t. The office had always closed for a week at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year with pay but the brass had decided they wanted people working in office during the holidays. Instead of telling us months in advance so we could mitigate our plans and come up with a fair way to distribute work and time off, they told us the week after Thanksgiving and thought it would be fun to get a bunch of those creepy Elf on a Shelf things, put them in every department and have the “Elf” decide who works. Every morning we’d get a company wide email fr…

Over the years, readers have submitted a tremendous number of amusing stories about holidays at work, and since we’re heading into the holidays we must revisit them. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The banana bread I managed a department of about 15 people. One lady was extremely proud (and vocal) regarding her banana bread. Once, I joined the conversation and mentioned my mother also had a wonderful recipe my family loves. I will spare you the details, but within a day or so, I found myself embroiled in Bananagate as the Manager Who Cruelly Insisted Her Recipe Was Better. The only way to settle it was a bake-off, which I tried mightily to nix (my staff was an unhappy…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want to have dinner with my boss on a work trip I am going on a work trip outside the country with a colleague and our boss. Both of us don’t really get along with him (our boss) and want to plan our own activities in the non-working hours (mainly dinners). However, he has asked us what we plan on doing and wants to plan a dinner with all three of us. Is there a way I can say no to him without letting on that we have already made plans? What if he asks what I am doing instead when I decline his offer? There has recently been friction with him regarding work activities so not really sure how he will feel if eit…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is dating a teenager I work in retail and have younger coworkers rotate through on a regular basis. Think late teens to early twenties. I am significantly older than them and often offer general life advice or encouragement. One of my coworkers (22) can be a bit sporadic. He’s a hard worker and fairly cheerful person but on rare occasions he makes really stupid decisions without thinking of the consequences. Previous problems include gambling more than he should have, not showing up for work, and slashing his roommate’s tires after an argument. I’m aware that this makes him sound like a nightmare but it is…

A reader writes: I work for a small company, only eight people. Every December, we receive all kinds of gifts from vendors and clients – gift baskets, cookies, candy, wine, and so forth. These are usually accompanied by cards making it clear that the gifts are intended for the whole office to thank us for our work that year. Sometimes people even drop off gifts in person, and they will say things like, “This is for the whole office to enjoy.” Every time, my boss will take the gifts into his own office so no one else can have any of them, or he takes them home for his family. The only time we ever get to enjoy the gifts ourselves is if it’s something he doesn’t like. (Th…

A reader writes: This month, I started a new job that offers excellent benefits, including a policy stating that employees who “self-identify” on an addiction issue can take time off to get help without penalty. As a high-functioning untreated alcoholic, I’m very grateful for this, but unsure how to navigate it. (Kudos to all the authors of personnel policies out there who wrote language like this. Sincerely, those folks need to know how grateful some employees are for those clauses! Thank you! You are helping people!) Here’s the situation: I’ve had a long-term drinking problem and know in-patient treatment would finally help me address it. Out-patient didn’t stick, and…

All this week to get us in the holiday spirit, I’m going to be featuring holiday work stories readers have shared here in the past … and then updates season will start next week! To kick us off, here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared about potlucks and other food gatherings at work earlier this month. 1. The mince pies During a Christmas potluck, our CEO made a surprise appearance at our small branch to chat, exchange wishes, and so on. While everyone moved to the main floor for some games and quizzes, I had to go back to the canteen to retrieve my forgotten jacket. I caught the CEO stuffing the pockets of his very expensive, very Armani suit with our mince pies…