Performance Tracking and Feedback

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 13, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. A medical tech repeatedly proselytized to me An experience I had recently with a medical provider has me wondering if what I felt to be inappropriate and unprofessional is a behavior worth raising with my doctor, who owns the practice. I live in area of the south where most people assume that everyone is Christian and believes in God — the kind of place where wishing someone “Happy Holidays” is likely to result in a tonally aggressive reply of “Merry Christmas.” Usually I let religious speak in various businesses just roll off me. I recently underwent TMS treatment for chronic, major depression. As part of that, I re…

A reader writes: I was offered a job last week, which was going to require a 2.5-hour move. I accepted as it’s a field I love and a company ownership I had worked for previously, just not at this location. Yesterday the job fell through because the expected job salary budget didn’t come through. At all. I had been waiting on paperwork to 100% make my hiring official. I even had a start date, which had been reiterated last week when they were waiting for the national leadership to send over the papers. I am lucky that I was able to reverse my resignation at my current job. I’m also lucky that I figure I’m only out about $100. I had applied for and been accepted for an a…

Over the years, we’ve had many letters about animals at work. Here are some of them. my employee doesn’t think we’re doing enough about bears at work (and the update) people only ask me about the ducks I work with (with a video in the update!) the pumpkin-eating cat my office got us turtles to take care of and bring home on weekends my office is infested with wasps our building is full of bats, sewer smells, moths, and more an unexpected office bird how much can I pet my cat on video calls? (and the update) my colleague is allergic to me because of my cats actual llamas head of HR is waging a pressure campaign to make me adopt a puppy my VP of HR says my servi…

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday so let’s talk about workplace romance. Did you spot coworkers having a secret affair without realizing how obvious they were being? Did your boss date your dad and try to get you to go to couples therapy with them? Did you spend a ton of time mediating between two employees who hated each other and then they ended up dating? Was your coworker always making out with his girlfriend at work? Did your colleague leave a rambling, drunken message for his secret office girlfriend — but accidentally leave it on the boss’s voicemail instead? Let’s discuss workplace romance gone both wrong and right. The post let’s discuss workplace romance gone w…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Our new work stations will be outside our building’s security screening I work in a government office, in a building that does full security screening of every person who comes in, with metal detectors and an x-ray machine for their bags. My department does some cashiering. As part of renovations to the building, they are adding cashier stations to our office that will be pre-security, meaning people can come directly to us off the street with no screening. We’re assured these stations will operate as check-only, no cash, but I’m still nervous about doing this. I’ve expressed my concerns but have been told our departm…

A reader writes: In 30 years, I have been late to work twice. The first time, management used my emergency contact number to track me down when I was one hour late. I believe this was a misuse of my personal information, and I removed this contact information from the company systems. Now, years later, it has happened again. My manager sent police to my home for a “wellness check” because I was two hours late. In this day and age, when federal agencies are claiming that they can come into your home without a warrant, it’s more than a bit alarming to see police at one’s door. Is this even remotely acceptable? I do realize that some employers will simply terminate on a …

A reader writes: My office is returning to a physical space in the fall and they are giving managers a lot of leeway to decide on remote/hybrid work. I manage eight people on my team and I know a number of them would be happy to never come into the office again. They have all proven themselves more than capable to work from home. However, I personally work best when I can see/talk with people in person, at least periodically. What balance can I strike between giving my team what they want and what I need in my own work style? I would love to ask each team member to come in at least once every 1-2 weeks, but unless there’s a true need is that out of line? I guess my ques…

In the comment section on a recent letter from someone whose coworkers were upset about her work anniversary gift, there was a lot of discussion about corporate gift programs. I heard from a reader who works for one of the larger companies that organizes these programs, and they generously offered to answer questions about it. Here’s our interview. To start, what are these programs all about, and how do rewards and recognition companies like yours fit in? Rewards and recognition falls under the bigger HR tech umbrella. Other things under the umbrella include incentives, promotional items, wellness programs, payroll, benefits, and HRIS that does pretty much everything. S…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. We have to demote a really dedicated manager I’m involved in a small, local nonprofit animal shelter. I started as a volunteer and am now an officer of the board. Two years ago, our very competent office manager quit. After two crash-and-burn failed hires, one of our part-time kennel help wanted to try to step up into the position. On a trial basis. Over a year ago. And while she was never officially given the job, things just … limped along. Kasie is awesome in many ways, great with people and incredible with the animals. But she lacks the initiative and judgement to successfully fill this role. I will add she is open…

A reader writes: I work for a large, quickly growing international business headquartered in the United States. I’m in HR and often collaborate with finance. My work is challenging, exciting, and I feel valued as an employee. But that’s actually part of the problem. Not to accidentally quote Liam Neeson, but I have a particular set of skills that makes me very difficult to replace. I have strong job security, I’m paid well enough to support my family, I have decent benefits, and I love my coworkers. But I have also been burnt out for over a year. Being neurodivergent and learning how autistic burnout differs from standard burnout has been a wild ride. My managers (yes,…

A reader writes: I’m managing a difficult employee, “Felix.” Felix has been at my company for five years now. He also happens to be the CEO’s nephew. His performance was never good, but it’s gotten steadily worse. His work frequently has mistakes, he is unreachable for large stretches of the day, and he pushes back on any feedback I give him. At one point, he yelled in my face when I pointed out a repeated problem with his work, saying that he “didn’t respect” my feedback. I’ve documented these issues extensively. I’ve talked to HR repeatedly about putting him on a PIP or even terminating him outright. They say that Felix is unhappy and actively job-searching and that …

A reader writes: I manage a team of 8-12 people at any one time in an entry-level role. Every year, we have a Christmas party at a local hotel and bar. It’s always an open bar — recipe for disaster, but the staff love it. This year, a member of my team who has a long-term partner, who she talks about regularly, spent the evening kissing a member of another team, out in the open. They were then seen going up to this person’s hotel room at the end of the night, and did not try to hide this. As her manager, I know my responsibilities and am not letting this impact the way I treat this staff member on a day-to-day basis. I have recent experience of being cheated on myself,…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is stubble unprofessional? Is having a few days of facial stubble unprofessional? What about showering every other day? How do I know when I’m well-enough groomed? I’m a cis man who is reasonably adept at social interactions generally but struggles to pick up on unwritten norms/rules (like how often to shave). I got rid of a goatee in college and have generally shaved all my facial hair for every in-person workday since then. I also currently shower every day I go into the office, though I sometimes skip it for WFH days. I’m considering a change for three reasons: (1) I was reminded of how much of a literally bloody …

A reader writes: I’m a woman working in a male-dominated profession. I do most of the planning and organizing for company events—not by choice or job description, but because I’m told I’m such a good planner. While I’m planning something, I’m rarely offered help. However, right before the event, I’m often asked by male coworkers if they can do anything or if I need anything. “Are we all good for Thursday? Can I do anything?” Of course, it’s way too late for them to do anything, and they know that. Is this weaponized incompetence? Or what is it? Whatever it is, it’s incredibly annoying, and I’d love to come up with a comeback that shows I’m onto them. You’re focusing o…

A reader writes: For nearly five months now, I have been trying to get in touch with a contact at a partner organization about some grant money they’ve promised us, by contract. Phone calls, emails — nothing. It’s getting completely absurd. I’ve repeatedly inquired as to if there’s something we need to do to hurry this along — no reply. (But he does return contacts from other organizations so I know he is alive and at work.) This staff member is the primary liaison between his organization and ours, so we want to keep it civil. I’ve been advised to go over his head, to his boss … but she’s the executive director of his organization, and I’m very aware this could get thi…

A reader writes: I left my last job after 3.5 months despite receiving consistently high praise privately from the director (my direct manager) of my department. At a year-end all-hands meeting where the entire company of at least 70+ people attended and each department gave a status update, I did not get any public recognition in my department of four. One person was called a Salesforce “wizard” and another was praised for doing the hard work of helping set up the infrastructure. The director had only been there two months longer than me, and no one in our team worked there for longer than one year. Needless to say, this was hurtful and humiliating. In just 3.5 month…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss assigns work by pulling names out of a hat I work on a team of about 10 people. At our weekly meetings, my manager tries to assign out any new tasks. Team members usually volunteer for tasks related to their ongoing work. But when no one volunteers to take on a task, he pulls names out of a hat to see who gets assigned. These tasks aren’t always quick things; they can take a lot of time. This frustrates me so much. To me, it’s dismissive of the other work we have and just bad management. The team doesn’t really push back on it, but I’m wondering if I should. When no one volunteers to take on an assignment, I t…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Deadly Little Secrets: The Minister, His Mistress, and a Heartless Texas Murder, by Kathryn Casey. Not my usual fare, but I read a Texas Monthly article about the case and then read this in one sitting. A pastor murders his wife and nearly gets away with it — until her mom and aunts spend years pushing law enforcement to investigate him. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – February 7-8, 2026 appeared first on Ask a…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – February 6, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker comes to work high I work in an animal care setting and overheard a coworker casually mention that they had taken an edible about an hour before the end of their shift. They said it didn’t fully hit them until the last few minutes of work, but during that time they were asked to help restrain a patient. They weren’t administering medication in this instance, but they were still performing tasks while impaired. They also mentioned that there have been a few times when they’ve come to work slightly under the influence. I know some coworkers use substances on their own time, and our workplace doesn’t test or …

A reader writes: Do you have any guidance on asking for feedback on a job application when you weren’t selected for an interview? I’m aware that I’m unlikely to get a candid answer and perhaps some of my frustration is borne out of feeling like I’m continually applying for jobs where I meet all of the criteria, and can provide examples, but not really getting anywhere. You can try, but you’re unlikely to get substantive feedback. You’re more likely to get someone willing to give you feedback after an interview because at that point they’ve talked with you one-on-one and there’s more of a connection. Even then, a lot of managers won’t give you any truly meaningful feedba…

Here are three recent success stories submitted by readers. 1. A successful raise request I wanted to share that I used your advice for asking for a raise to successfully increase my salary. I presented salary surveys from nonprofit industry groups and local job postings for similar positions that showed my old salary was low compared to current listings in my metro area. In the end, I received a 9% raise, which I feel pretty good about. It isn’t as much as I hoped, but my supervisor did acknowledge it was the most they could give me at this time and that at first the proposed raise from HR was 6%. 2. A successful salary negotiation This is not me but my Gen Z daughte…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I work in a pretty calm office environment where I rarely deal with confrontation. Lately I’ve been wondering how people in more volatile or high-stress roles take care of themselves (e.g., law enforcement, corrections, emergency response, or even customer service and call centers). How do people who face frequent conflict or hostility at work manage their stress and protect their mental health over time? I’d love to hear from readers who’ve figured out ways to stay grounded and healthy in those environments, and also what draws them to that kind of work. Readers in high-conflict roles, please weigh in! Th…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My bullying coworkers wouldn’t let me speak at a meeting This happened many years ago, but I keep replaying it in my head and wondering what I should have done. At that time, I was working in a very small department in a small nonprofit. There were four of us in the department, three faculty (me, Marc, and Terry) and a director, Linda. We were having our weekly meeting (overkill, in my opinion) with some reps from other departments, and a couple grad students. Maybe eight people total. Linda despised me and made no bones about it, and the overall situation was extremely toxic. I’d been tolerating Linda’s abuse for ab…