Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I hired a promising junior employee who seemed polite and reasonable during his interview. However, now that he is my employee, he constantly condescends to me and says things that come across in a belittling way. Here are some examples: Me: “Bob, I was going to train you on how to do X today.” Bob, with a dismissive laugh: “Yeah, I was wondering when you were going to get to that.” Me: “Bob, has anyone shown you how to do Y yet?” Bob, with a dismissive laugh and a shrug: “How hard can it be?” Me: “I just noticed an issue with the X documentation and wanted to make sure I corrected that so you have the right information.” Bob, with a dismissive lau…

A reader writes: I manage some junior team members who are right out of college. One thing I have noticed is that they have a hard time saying no when I ask request something from them — as in, “Can this be done today?” or “Do you think this is a good idea?” I’ve made a career of being able to tell clients hard news, I really don’t mind hearing no! I don’t want them to overwork themselves because of what they perceive I need done, or do work that will send us over-budget. Sometimes I need to be able to have a quick conversation about these things and just get a clear “no” from them if that’s the realistic answer. Prefacing everything with “it’s really okay if you can’t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I am the director of a small, public-facing unit. We have a full-time staff of 10 and several part-time workers. I am struggling with our leave system and how to make it as equitable as possible. Current policy (that I inherited) is that employees can put in all leave for the following year beginning in November of the previous year, and first-come first-serve wins. We have some employees who quickly take a lot of the prime spots, particularly around spring break and holidays. Not everyone can plan ahead like this, however, and so some of our people then get little to no time around …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to pray with my religious client? I am a militantly non-religious person and have worked with a religion-based nonprofit as a consultant for a couple of years now. I am somewhat new to the workforce, and this is my first consulting gig. They have always asked me to pray with them and for them at the beginning and end of every meeting. Because I really needed the work, I went along with this, and they have the idea that I support what they do and follow their beliefs. However, as time passes, it is becoming harder and harder for me to p…

A reader writes: I work in a 15-person team within a larger organization. We have a hybrid work scheme, with mandatory in-office Mondays and at least one other day on-site per week. We’re a fairly close team, and we all get along despite differences in age, life experience, etc. One of my colleagues, Emma, is a bit of a health nut. Every few months, she tries out a different diet or fad to try and make herself “skinny.” I think she’s already a healthy weight, but she’s very focused on it and on top of that she’s health-conscious and seems to enjoy reading about diet and nutrition. Emma never parades her new diets around or tries to shame anyone about what they’re eatin…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just got feedback from my manager that I need to work on communication with a coworker. I think it’s mainly about tone not content, and I agree with the feedback — I have admittedly been pretty short. I’m irritated and it’s coming across. Where I’m getting stuck, though, is that it’s coming from a place of frustration and I’m not sure how to solve it without doing something about the underlying frustration. Let me give more context. My coworker Petunia and I are a two-person team. For the sake of anonymity, let’s say we do llama support; she is more junior and provides, say, llama …

A reader writes: I recently received an email from an employee wanting to discuss her future with the company and opportunities for advancement. I responded that we will be reorganizing the team soon (which is true) and relying heavily on her input on what responsibilities she wants to take on (also true). My issue is that it’s unlikely there will be any opportunities for advancement on our team. The organization is very hierarchical and positions are determined at an organization-wide level with little flexibility for job duties or pay increases. Her current position is at the bottom of the org chart and any opportunities to advance would probably be in a different geo…

A reader writes: Hopefully this is a non-issue very soon, but I was wondering what ideas you’ve encountered or heard of that might be helpful. I am a manager of a small to medium-sized federal office. We are in furlough but required to work. While most of my employees are okay financially at the moment, we have three or four (and probably one or two who are private) who are being hit hard, and with SNAP benefits seemingly going away this is going to be a real issue for them and their families. We have certain ethical boundaries we can’t cross, and I don’t want to single any one out. But I can’t let my employees go hungry. Have you heard of any creative ideas that I mig…

A reader writes: People in my office frequently come into work very obviously sick and many times get other people sick. Most people do not have the ability to work from home with the work we do. We’ve sent a firm-wide message telling people that we prefer that sick employees stay home, as to stop the spread to the rest of the staff. Unfortunately, this didn’t make much of a difference. I understand that people want to save their paid time off for more enjoyable times, but it’s not fair to the coworkers to whom they spread their germs. (We also offer six paid sick days, separate from vacation and personal leave.) What else can we do? I answer this question over at Inc.…

A reader writes: My company is technically hybrid, but my department is almost exclusively work from home, which has suited me. This week, we’d been asked whether or not we’ll be attending an all-hands in person or on Zoom and I’d been really struggling with the decision. I like my coworkers, but I invariably get sick when I do in-person stuff and spent half of September audibly sick from the last in-person department meeting I attended. If I went, I planned to mask. The meeting was listed as being from 9 am – 1 pm and lunch is provided, but masking only works if you stay masked. That means I can’t eat or drink unless I’m outside and there’s no outdoor space at this loc…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I’m writing in to find out how to get prepared, both literally and mentally, for a relatively quick change in my work situation. Context: I work at a state agency in Minnesota and for the last five years a large majority of state employees have been teleworking, with occasional in-person attendance for division meetings, conferences, trainings, etc. There are state employees who have been working onsite the whole time, so I understand that I am very fortunate to have been able to work from home. However, on Tuesday a notice was released announcing that state employees are being ordered back to the office at…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I have many questions about applying to internal jobs, something I have never done. At my current company, a new role came up that is a dream job for me. But it is also a reach, as it would be a bit of a career change. Knowing this job might open up, I’ve been making efforts to get to know the hiring manager, and I think we have a good relationship. But how do I actually navigate applying? I know it’s best practice not to tell your manager when you are job hunting, but what about when the job you’re applying for is an internal one? My manager is fair and a nice person, but I still do…

A reader writes: I’m student work head at a university library — basically, I’m a student managing the regular student workers as a way of getting experience in management, leadership, etc. One of the workers has a bad habit of asking questions about everything. Usually it isn’t too bad, and of course curiosity should usually be encouraged, though it can derail conversations. But recently, there was an incident where some of our just-put-up Christmas decorations were stolen. Naturally, I was upset, and I happened to mutter, “Whoever did this is a real berk.” (I don’t know why I chose that word — it was just the first that leapt to mind.) Overhearing this, she asked, “Wh…

A reader writes: I’ve been working in the marketing department of a large company for nine years, in a somewhat specialized role. I sit within a smaller subteam originally managed by “Jean-Luc,” who was the kind of manager everyone hopes for — fiercely protective of his team, willing to go to bat for any of us, and fair if it came down to any issues that needed dealing with. At the beginning of the year, Jean-Luc told us that he’d be moving on and assured us he’d be directly responsible for hiring his replacement to ensure a good fit. Two weeks before he left (I’m in the UK and we typically have three-month notice periods), he hired “Kai Wynn,” who seemed very knowledge…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Lately I’ve been subject to a technique by coworkers that I call “death by a thousand questions.” It goes something like this: Q: Hey, are we getting in the combination llama/alpaca wool? A: I don’t have a date yet, I’m hoping for the 20th. Q: So the 20th. A: It’s not confirmed. I’ll let you know as soon as I know. Q: Who needs to confirm it? A: The freight forwarder. Q: Well, haven’t they confirmed it before? A: Yes, and when they confirm it they will let me know. Q: Why can’t they confirm it now? A: I’m not sure, but they are a reliable company. Q: Is it their provider? …

A reader writes: I could use some advice about some employees, two of whom report to me and one who doesn’t. Bob reports to me. He assigns cases to both Sue and Sally. Sue reports to me and Sally doesn’t. Sue and Sally don’t like Bob. They don’t like his brusque (but still professional) style, they don’t like that he’s not “nice” like his predecessor, and they don’t like it when he seems inconsistent. Bob doesn’t like his decisions questioned. He comes from a legal background and really can be pretty officious. Again, it’s not unprofessional, but it’s certainly not friendly or warm. He could go a long way in being collegial. When I direct Bob to be patient with Sue an…

A reader writes: I manage someone with extreme social anxiety who seems a lot like person #1 in this column. Lee is very good at their job-specific tasks, which are largely operational and do not require much social interaction with the team or outsiders. We have established some office protocols that help support them (allowing camera-off in Zoom meetings, using Teams chat as a communication tool, etc.) However, we are a very small team and do have times when we need all hands on deck — for example, for an event for all of our clients, when I need Lee to do something like staff the registration table so other staff are free to lead parts of the event that are more rel…

A reader writes: I manage an employee who has admitted that she struggles with ADHD, and unfortunately it’s affecting her work. I could use some advice on how to proceed. She regularly forgets to clock in and clock out when she works, sometimes missing more than half her clock punches in a pay period. This leaves us struggling to finalize her timecard when it’s due, often having to call her at home on her day off to find out her hours. I’m concerned that her memory of the hours worked a week prior might not be accurate either, so who knows if we’re paying appropriately for the time she actually spent at work. She often ignores high-priority work that needs to be finish…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I am a mother of three young children. Several years ago I took a step back in my career to work in a less high-pressure environment. The shift was incredible for my work life balance — I am much more present with my children, rarely bring home work stress, and am able to regularly take time away to volunteer at school events. We are financially secure and the money is decent. However, this organization frequently is a mess. I regularly find myself flabbergasted at how things that wouldn’t be an issue at other jobs become Big Things at this organization, requiring multiple meetings a…

A reader writes: My husband and I are splitting up after eight years together. We’ve had issues that we’ve been working on for a long time, but the final split happened fairly suddenly and I’m reeling right now. On top of everything else I’m dealing with now (including finding a new place to live, getting off his health insurance, etc.), I’m wondering how to talk about this at work. My coworkers have met my husband at many events over the years, and I’ve talked about him a lot at work. I don’t know how to tell people we’re splitting up without inviting a ton of questions, none of which I’m really ready to talk about right now, and I also don’t want to trauma-dump on peo…

A reader writes: I’m job searching, and I often come across jobs where alumni of my college currently work. If I don’t know the person/people, how would I ask for their help in getting an interview or anything else related to the job I’ve applied to? I think that would be very awkward, and I don’t know why they would be inclined to help, since they don’t know me. The idea isn’t to reach out to a stranger and say, “Will you help me get an interview?” It’s to connect as a fellow alum and ask for their guidance more broadly. For example: “Hi Jane! I’m a fellow alum of Sorghum State — class of 2019! I’m trying to break into the breakfast cereal field and am really intere…

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. A reader writes: My company’s offices are entirely open plan, with the exception of a few fish-bowl style, glass-walled conference rooms. There aren’t even dividers between desks, just one big room, so everyone can see everything that’s happening. Unfortunately, we have had to terminate a few people over the last year, typically for not meeting performance goals (as opposed to misconduct or misbehavior). Typically, the terminated employee gets the news in a conference room and is escorted out by their manager, which has had varying levels of success. There was one situation where t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I was working on writing up a job ad today for temporary research assistants for a field biology project, and noticed trends in my ads and in others’. It’s common for early career employees applying to assistant or technician jobs to think that they want to do fieldwork and then quit in the middle of the season because it wasn’t what they expected. There are really fun parts like getting to travel to cool places, camp or backpack, work directly with plants and animals, and meet new people. However, employees are often underpaid (especially at the technician level), work long hours, an…

A reader writes: How far can “other duties as assigned” in a job description stretch? My company is asking us to do an assignment that is wildly outside our normal job roles. Imagine that we write user manuals for the a vacuum company, and now they’re telling us we have to go out and do 2-5 weeks of door-to-door sales in another city, 12 hours a day, for 6 days a week. We’re all salaried so the hours are within the legal limits, but the work is nothing like what we were hired to do. We have not been trained in sales and many of us feel very uncomfortable doing this work, especially when it means leaving our lives behind for as much as a month. When we’ve raised this, …

A reader writes: I was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago, and this past January, my company decided that all “hybrid” employees (my whole team is considered hybrid) need to be in the office a minimum of three days per week. I didn’t think I could do it, but I wanted to try before I said anything. I’ve tried for several weeks and found that I definitely can’t do three days in a row. But I’m also having a really hard time coming in for the third (non-consecutive) day, so I asked for the accommodation of coming in two days per week, which is a pretty typical accommodation for people with ADHD. My therapist wrote a letter about the situation, and I included it with my re…