Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. With more people being called back to offices where they’re expected to share crowded spaces with coworkers — including sharing desks — let’s talk about shared space horror stories! Maybe you share a desk with someone who pinned up deeply personal love notes from their partner all over your shared space … or set the screensaver on your shared computer to be photos of herself in a bikini … or maybe you had a boss who “was constantly leaving open the very explicit romance e-novels she was reading on the shared workstation so you’d sit down to start your shift and suddenly you’re reading about parts quive…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me to bring my sick four-year-old to work with me I want to start off by saying I am the absolute backbone of our store and everyone, including my boss, knows it. My boss has the flu right now and my four-year-old has been sick. She woke up crying, feverish, snotty, etc. I texted my boss at 4 am (I was scheduled to open at 10:30 am) explaining that my child’s sickness had taken a turn for the worse and asked if there was a possibility that anyone else could cover. She responded that there was no one besides me who could work and I would…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just got feedback from my manager that I need to work on communication with a coworker. I think it’s mainly about tone not content, and I agree with the feedback — I have admittedly been pretty short. I’m irritated and it’s coming across. Where I’m getting stuck, though, is that it’s coming from a place of frustration and I’m not sure how to solve it without doing something about the underlying frustration. Let me give more context. My coworker Petunia and I are a two-person team. For the sake of anonymity, let’s say we do llama support; she is more junior and provides, say, llama …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Recently, my company hired someone who was extremely racist. He worked with me on his first day, where he dropped an awful racial slur six times. I was shocked so did a little social media sleuthing and found his horrifying Twitter page full of xenophobic and racist tweets and posts. We fired him. However, after speaking to a friend who is in HR, she said we couldn’t simply fire him for being racist. Now, obviously our lawyer and HR rep disagreed with that because he was fired. But what say you? Are racist posts and hate speech enough to fire someone? She seems to think we should hav…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I have worked in nonprofits for the entirety of my career (~15 years). I’m a highly mission-driven person, so I am generally a lot happier in my work when I feel strongly connected to the nonprofit’s aims. As an example, I’ve worked at both a public library and a private college, and I was much happier at the library even though the hours were longer, the pay less, and the work more menial — just because I felt like my work was contributing to a better cause. I was recently hired at a very small nonprofit that, on paper, seemed to tick all the boxes for me. However, having been there…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is great in some ways but is he crossing lines? I’m trying to figure out if my manager is interested in me as more than a coworker, or if the lines he crosses are just a part of his personality. I’ve been with my company as a general manager for eight months, hired into a lower position and immediately promoted by this man. He is always kind and funny with me. He calls me awesome, amazing, sunshine, tells me how funny I am, tells me I’m tough, and that he wants to make my life easier. And these are just the things he regularly says. He is ne…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Am I shooting myself in the foot by engaging politically in a public way on social media? And how should I weigh the pros and cons? Will a future employer even check for my social media, and if so, what will they think? Can I just temporarily disable my social media during the job search, and will that be sufficient? I am currently in a full-time graduate program (middle career going back to school) and expect to be applying for jobs when I finish in about three years. The types of jobs I would apply for are mainly in academia (meaning I would also probably apply for government grant…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I own a business and recently I’ve had an issue with one of my employees. She will go all day without eating (because of what looks like poor planning) and then get very irritable with everyone and complains about being hungry. I’ll offer to order her something or offer her the granola bars we have in the break room, but she brushes me off. I think she thinks I’m being an annoying mom type but really I just don’t want to deal with her hangry attitude because it affects the entire office when she gets like that. Any tips? I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today,…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I supervise a small team of seasonal staff in a resort community. Most of my team lives a short drive or 10-minute walk down the road from our main office and compound. About two-thirds of the work we do is based out of various buildings in the resort town, all within about a five-block radius (short walking/cycling distance or a short drive, though nearby parking is at a premium on busy summer days), which are usually scheduled in half day chunks (morning shift in one location, then lunch, then swap to a different location a short distance away). We also have some duties that take st…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. People complain that I don’t want to be at work social events I’m in a senior leadership role, and have been for the last six years. I keep running into the same problem and I’d love your advice. I don’t enjoy social activities at work (Christmas parties, picnics, etc.), and I also don’t like corporate retreats. I’d rather do my tasks, as I’m very busy. I’m very much in the minority. I always encourage my staff to participate. I do attend, but it’s out of obligation. People notice and then complain to my boss, who keeps talking to me about my part…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My father-in-law was visiting over the weekend. He started talking about how my brother-in-law is job-hunting to escape new company ownership. At one of my brother-in-law’s interviews, the employer asked to talk to his wife (my sister-in-law, who isn’t employed and cares for my three young nephews). I was so surprised that I exclaimed, “They can’t do that!” Well, I guess my comment offended my father-in-law because he raised his voice and said back, “What do you mean they can’t do that?!” I said what if the candidate was a single mom with kids? My father-in-law snapped at me, sayin…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Ever realized you haven’t seen a particular coworker in weeks, asked around, and discovered they left the company a month ago and no one bothered to tell anyone? If you’ve worked for reasonably functional companies, hopefully the answer is “no.” But, whether through incompetence or design, a startling number of employers don’t announce it when employees depart — leaving their colleagues to piece it together themselves after their emails go unanswered for weeks. At Slate today, I wrote about this bizarre and inefficient phenomenon. You can read it here. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: We work in a completely open plan office, and are a PR/ creative services agency. There are separate meeting rooms, and two banks of unused desks round the side of the kitchen which feel slightly separate from the main seating area and are often used for hot desking or ad hoc meetings. We are mandated in the office three days a week. The guidelines are for everyone to be in Monday and Wednesday (these are our anchor days), and for teams to make an effort to choose the same third day to maximize the chances for in-person working on office days. We’re a small staff of around 25, so on…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker masturbates in the men’s bathroom There is a guy in my office who will go into one of the stalls in the men’s bathroom for 20-30 minutes at a time. I have had the bad luck of entering a stall next to him and hearing audible masturbation noises. I think he does this every day we work in-office because I swear it’s happened 5-6 times. A coworker I’m close with has confirmed hearing it as well, so I know I am not going crazy. I have also seen this guy come out of the bathroom with headphones on, looking at something on his phone, so after r…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Safekeep, by Yael van der Wouden. When her brother’s girlfriend comes to stay with her in the Netherlands, a woman’s post-war life is upended. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My new job has so much drama it made the local news I started a job as an accounting manager less than a month ago. I had been out of work for a while. I was let go at my previous job, I think because my boss didn’t like or need me. I’m a quiet, anxious person and she was the opposite. I was still on probation there and it was a shock. So, I’ve been looking for a new position but also working contract and doing well. I interviewed for one particular job I thought was a good fit. The hiring manager and I hit it off right away. I felt she was an empa…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I recently had a recruiter reach out to me about a job. I’m not really looking right now, but I figured I’d see what they had to say. I had my first interview virtually, and progressed a few days later to an in-person interview. It went well, but towards the end, the hiring manager asked if there was anything that would prevent me from accepting an offer if it were extended. Am I wrong to hate this question? Side note: the recruiter had been very clear that I shouldn’t ask any questions about what the company can do for me in the interviews, as they would handle all negotiations for…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. Retired coworker keeps coming back to gossip (#3 at the link) Unfortunately, the retired coworker is someone who will take offense at any direct request to be left alone to do work. He would go up and down the hallway talking loudly to other people about how “So-and-So told me to get lost!!!!” and cause even more of a ruckus. My supervisor is often not there to see what is happening, and was not effective in dealing with him before he retired. (Example: He told our supervisor, “I don’t attend meetings because that’s what works for me,” and she let hi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I would love to hear stories from people who made the transition from nonprofit work to for-profit work, as I am considering that transition myself. I’ve only ever worked in this sector and have a master’s in Nonprofit Management (not even an MBA) so the idea of changing sectors is really overwhelming, but I know people have done it before. Readers who have made this transition, please share advice in the comment section. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I hate my new job — can I go back to my old one? I worked at a company for over three years. Internally they have their issues and I had my share of frustrations, but it is basically a well oiled machine. As far as growth, there is not much, but I was paid well and had flexibility with my hours, although absolutely no work from home and an hour commute each way. Three months ago, a colleague who worked with me at this company and left two years prior, asked me to send my resume to her so she could pass it along to her boss. She only had good things…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: In August of 2024, I left behind TV news reporting to become a social media manager for museums in my city. My career in TV news was full of manipulation, toxicity, long hours, and missed holidays. My new job was a standard 9-5, with occasional weekend events for a few hours. It was the boring job I needed. The local theater and museum (they are combined and owned by the same company) took an interest in me, and the CEO offered me a job with them. I was told I would need to work weekends about once a month for shows, and I was okay with that. After looking at the schedule posted to t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I manage a small independent business. We recently brought on a young new hire, “Jim.” There are usually only three of us working. Jim’s girlfriend works from home and has been coming in every day to bring him lunch. At first it was fine, but they started to be very affectionate towards one another — for example, kissing multiple times, which is extremely audible. One morning they got into a fight, and when she brought him his lunch they decided to hash their fight out in our office. They never do this in front of clients, but I finally put my foot down and asked him to not bring per…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I am a manager on a team where there are two managers and five individual contributors: Buffy, Cordelia, Xander, Willow, and Anya. Buffy and Willow are very good friends. They joined the team at around the same time, about two years ago. Cordelia joined the team just under a year ago and quickly got adopted by Buffy and Willow as “one of the gang.” They have similar tastes and are always lending each other books, talking about shared interests, etc. Xander has been in and out of the team, but is well integrated socially with the others. Anya joined the team straight out of college in…