Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I have a situation at work where my favorite work friend is now not speaking to me because of politics. We have political differences, but we have always been respectful and it’s never caused an issue before. Now I’m getting shut out because I’m, quote a part of the left. Wondering if you could do one of your round-ups of past posts about friendships going sour, or awkwardness at work. I know to be kind and professional, and I’m giving her space. But would be nice to have a re-read of some of the older posts. I suspect maybe I’m not alone in this. Yes! Here you go: friends at work friend drama may collide with job hunt I referred my friend to my com…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Excusing myself from a fancy work lunch due to allergies I have severe food allergies to multiple common food items. They are complex (substitutes for one food often contain another, some allergies are tied to flavoring or preservative agents not immediately obvious, etc.), often challenging, truly allergic (not an intolerance), and fairly new (adult onset a few years ago). For that reason, I very rarely eat out. My food intake is consistent and incredibly limited. I had to work with a dietician for several months to figure out how to even get enou…

Federal workers and others affected by the government shutdown: we’re in day 22 with no end in sight. How are you doing? What’s going on in your workplace / with your colleagues? The post government shutdown day 22: how are you doing? appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s Halloween! Let’s revisit some Halloween questions from past years. 1. My coworker goes overboard with grisly Halloween decorations People in our office go bonkers over Halloween. Recently we were encouraged to decorate for Halloween. I would take that to mean a little black and orange garland, maybe a plastic pumpkin, right? Well, not hardly. People go overboard and apparently the only rule was no trip hazards in the aisle. The woman in the cubicle next to mine must have emptied out her storage area of Halloween decorations. Now there are gross bloody looking, ghoulish figures hanging from the ceiling above our desk space. There are skeletons with teeth, cobwebs st…

A reader writes: A few weeks ago, our HR manager, Cara, brought in a photo of her dog’s adorable litter of puppies and everybody appropriately ooh’d and ahh’d all over them. Now that the puppies are old enough to be adopted, she’s started to put the bite on everybody in the office, and after a few other employees were winnowed away for various reasons (apartment building doesn’t allow pets, just had a new baby, etc.), she seems to have focused her attention on me. Backstory time, I grew up in a house with a mother who … it’s probably most accurate to say she compulsively hoarded pets … and growing up having to take care of up to 10 dogs at one time has thrown cold water…

A reader recently sent me a cover letter that I want to share as a great example of explaining a maybe surprising job history: she had started in one field, then left it, then was trying to come back to it. First, though, the caveats I’ve learned to give when sharing these: The writer has allowed me to share this as a favor to me and to readers. Please remember she’s a real person when you’re commenting. This writer’s voice is her voice. It will not be your voice, and that’s part of the point. There is no single cover letter in the world that all hiring managers will love or that would be the right fit for every employer and every industry. But I receive letters all th…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader recently sent me a cover letter that I want to share as a great example of explaining why you’re applying for a job in a different field and how your skills will carry over. First, though, the caveats I’ve learned to give when sharing these: The writer has allowed me to share this as a favor to me and to readers. Please remember she’s a real person when you’re commenting. This writer’s voice is her voice. It will not be your voice, and that’s part of the point. There is no single cover letter in the world that all hiring managers will love or that would be the right fit for every employer a…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How do I give 360 feedback to my clueless coworker? I have been asked to complete a 360 review for the junior staffer on my team. In general, I would like to only be positive in these, as that’s what I want in return! And I have never expressed these feelings to this coworker. But he is like a little baby in the outfit of a 26-year-old man. He doesn’t have the general sense at work you’d like someone four years into their career to have — as an example, he scheduled our boss to meet with board members, assigning them a meeting time without asking t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m in a quandary and really second-guessing a decision I made regarding an offer that was made to me a couple of weeks ago. I work for a company that makes, let’s say, teapots. I recently found out that Cersei, the director of a different teapot-making company, wants to fire her entire design team and hire me to head a brand new one. I would not only be responsible for leading the new team, but for hiring everyone in it. The complication: the current head of the to-be-fired team is my mentor of 20 years, Jaime. I found out about this when Cersei invited me to lunch and told me she …

The work on the site is (hopefully) complete, and comments are turned back on. Thanks for your patience the last few days as we ran into some bumps with a server migration. The post housekeeping update appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

A reader writes: Although I have managed project teams for many years, I have only started supervising staff directly in the last few years and am about to begin managing my first fully remote employee. Any advice on managing a fully remote employee? I’m fine with task management for project teams in different locations, but being someone’s supervisor also includes supporting their professional growth, making sure we as the employer are meeting their needs, addressing problems that may arise, and assigning work to meet chargeability goals. I also want to make sure that this employee stays happy, especially as she grows professionally. And my reports and I are known as a…

I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2017. A reader writes: Every since I was a small child I’ve been praised for how nice I am, how likable I am, how good I am with people. In many ways, this is a positive thing. I think of it as a skill that takes effort, but is very useful. However, as I’ve started working professionally I’ve run across a problem. I have a really hard time telling people when they are being awful. I can do normal job-related criticism fine – “please make sure you proofread for typos next time,” etc. – but when it comes to more emotionally turbulent conversations or anything with conflict, I complet…

A reader writes: I hired a promising junior employee who seemed polite and reasonable during his interview. However, now that he is my employee, he constantly condescends to me and says things that come across in a belittling way. Here are some examples: Me: “Bob, I was going to train you on how to do X today.” Bob, with a dismissive laugh: “Yeah, I was wondering when you were going to get to that.” Me: “Bob, has anyone shown you how to do Y yet?” Bob, with a dismissive laugh and a shrug: “How hard can it be?” Me: “I just noticed an issue with the X documentation and wanted to make sure I corrected that so you have the right information.” Bob, with a dismissive lau…

A reader writes: I’m writing for some advice on how to help my mentee set expectations at work. I work at a small educational site. Alice came to us through an independent living program for young adults with disabilities, and she was absolutely fantastic as a volunteer. She was extremely passionate about the work and already had independently picked up a bunch of extremely niche skills (for anonymity let’s say it’s reconstructing historical rice sculptures) that would normally take years of training, so most of the guidance I was giving her was more in relation to her soft skills and building confidence in her own abilities. She also has A Lot going on in her personal …

A reader writes: I manage some junior team members who are right out of college. One thing I have noticed is that they have a hard time saying no when I ask request something from them — as in, “Can this be done today?” or “Do you think this is a good idea?” I’ve made a career of being able to tell clients hard news, I really don’t mind hearing no! I don’t want them to overwork themselves because of what they perceive I need done, or do work that will send us over-budget. Sometimes I need to be able to have a quick conversation about these things and just get a clear “no” from them if that’s the realistic answer. Prefacing everything with “it’s really okay if you can’t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I am the director of a small, public-facing unit. We have a full-time staff of 10 and several part-time workers. I am struggling with our leave system and how to make it as equitable as possible. Current policy (that I inherited) is that employees can put in all leave for the following year beginning in November of the previous year, and first-come first-serve wins. We have some employees who quickly take a lot of the prime spots, particularly around spring break and holidays. Not everyone can plan ahead like this, however, and so some of our people then get little to no time around …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to pray with my religious client? I am a militantly non-religious person and have worked with a religion-based nonprofit as a consultant for a couple of years now. I am somewhat new to the workforce, and this is my first consulting gig. They have always asked me to pray with them and for them at the beginning and end of every meeting. Because I really needed the work, I went along with this, and they have the idea that I support what they do and follow their beliefs. However, as time passes, it is becoming harder and harder for me to p…

A reader writes: I work in a 15-person team within a larger organization. We have a hybrid work scheme, with mandatory in-office Mondays and at least one other day on-site per week. We’re a fairly close team, and we all get along despite differences in age, life experience, etc. One of my colleagues, Emma, is a bit of a health nut. Every few months, she tries out a different diet or fad to try and make herself “skinny.” I think she’s already a healthy weight, but she’s very focused on it and on top of that she’s health-conscious and seems to enjoy reading about diet and nutrition. Emma never parades her new diets around or tries to shame anyone about what they’re eatin…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I just got feedback from my manager that I need to work on communication with a coworker. I think it’s mainly about tone not content, and I agree with the feedback — I have admittedly been pretty short. I’m irritated and it’s coming across. Where I’m getting stuck, though, is that it’s coming from a place of frustration and I’m not sure how to solve it without doing something about the underlying frustration. Let me give more context. My coworker Petunia and I are a two-person team. For the sake of anonymity, let’s say we do llama support; she is more junior and provides, say, llama …

A reader writes: I recently received an email from an employee wanting to discuss her future with the company and opportunities for advancement. I responded that we will be reorganizing the team soon (which is true) and relying heavily on her input on what responsibilities she wants to take on (also true). My issue is that it’s unlikely there will be any opportunities for advancement on our team. The organization is very hierarchical and positions are determined at an organization-wide level with little flexibility for job duties or pay increases. Her current position is at the bottom of the org chart and any opportunities to advance would probably be in a different geo…

A reader writes: Hopefully this is a non-issue very soon, but I was wondering what ideas you’ve encountered or heard of that might be helpful. I am a manager of a small to medium-sized federal office. We are in furlough but required to work. While most of my employees are okay financially at the moment, we have three or four (and probably one or two who are private) who are being hit hard, and with SNAP benefits seemingly going away this is going to be a real issue for them and their families. We have certain ethical boundaries we can’t cross, and I don’t want to single any one out. But I can’t let my employees go hungry. Have you heard of any creative ideas that I mig…

A reader writes: People in my office frequently come into work very obviously sick and many times get other people sick. Most people do not have the ability to work from home with the work we do. We’ve sent a firm-wide message telling people that we prefer that sick employees stay home, as to stop the spread to the rest of the staff. Unfortunately, this didn’t make much of a difference. I understand that people want to save their paid time off for more enjoyable times, but it’s not fair to the coworkers to whom they spread their germs. (We also offer six paid sick days, separate from vacation and personal leave.) What else can we do? I answer this question over at Inc.…

A reader writes: My company is technically hybrid, but my department is almost exclusively work from home, which has suited me. This week, we’d been asked whether or not we’ll be attending an all-hands in person or on Zoom and I’d been really struggling with the decision. I like my coworkers, but I invariably get sick when I do in-person stuff and spent half of September audibly sick from the last in-person department meeting I attended. If I went, I planned to mask. The meeting was listed as being from 9 am – 1 pm and lunch is provided, but masking only works if you stay masked. That means I can’t eat or drink unless I’m outside and there’s no outdoor space at this loc…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I saw a question about switching back to the office after working from home, and thought I’d throw the opposite out there. My previous jobs have all been mandatory on-site, with a mix of hands-on procedures and computer-based work. Relatively soon, I’ll be moving to a position that is both 100% desk work and remote (full-time WFH is, for many reasons, not for me, so I’ll be joining a co-working space). This job is a great fit in many ways and I’m excited about it, but I’m looking for ideas of how to make 100% desk work sustainable. I’m a very active person, so I think I’m going to miss all the motion during …

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I’m writing in to find out how to get prepared, both literally and mentally, for a relatively quick change in my work situation. Context: I work at a state agency in Minnesota and for the last five years a large majority of state employees have been teleworking, with occasional in-person attendance for division meetings, conferences, trainings, etc. There are state employees who have been working onsite the whole time, so I understand that I am very fortunate to have been able to work from home. However, on Tuesday a notice was released announcing that state employees are being ordered back to the office at…