Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker keeps giving me praise I don’t deserve When I got my current job a year ago, I filled a specific niche that they really needed. For the first few months, I was making a ton of new content for the organization, and making edits to existing content. Some of this was honestly low-effort, but because no one knew anything about my field, I was getting high praise for just about anything. Then after those months, requests for new content trickled down and I only had to make edits every once in a blue moon, so I shifted to doing more administrati…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: Lately I’ve been subject to a technique by coworkers that I call “death by a thousand questions.” It goes something like this: Q: Hey, are we getting in the combination llama/alpaca wool? A: I don’t have a date yet, I’m hoping for the 20th. Q: So the 20th. A: It’s not confirmed. I’ll let you know as soon as I know. Q: Who needs to confirm it? A: The freight forwarder. Q: Well, haven’t they confirmed it before? A: Yes, and when they confirm it they will let me know. Q: Why can’t they confirm it now? A: I’m not sure, but they are a reliable company. Q: Is it their provider? …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I have many questions about applying to internal jobs, something I have never done. At my current company, a new role came up that is a dream job for me. But it is also a reach, as it would be a bit of a career change. Knowing this job might open up, I’ve been making efforts to get to know the hiring manager, and I think we have a good relationship. But how do I actually navigate applying? I know it’s best practice not to tell your manager when you are job hunting, but what about when the job you’re applying for is an internal one? My manager is fair and a nice person, but I still do…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This isn’t for my job, but it’s for a nonprofit organization related to my career that involves some level of professionalism. I’m afraid that I scared off a new member by coming on too strong to her. I volunteer at a STEM-related organization that mentors children. My position is at the state level, and a new person just joined at the group level. I met her for the first time at a regular group meeting. I’ll admit, I’m really attracted to her, but I still wanted to get to know her regardless of whether or not she’s interested. She’s the only other woman I know who’s in my field wit…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. What if hiring a spouse is truly the best choice? I know that having a manager supervising their partner is fraught with peril — I have read enough AAM to have some great examples! But if the partner is truly the best candidate, are there guardrails you recommend? This is in a church context, and the minister’s partner is supremely qualified to be our music director. They are both being totally up-front about it, looking at alternate supervisory roles (could have a board member be the partner’s supervisor?), checking with the denomination for policy…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose anti-vax employee was pressuring a coworker not to vaccinate her baby? Here’s the update. I really appreciated your advice and several of the thoughts from the commenters as well. I have weekly one-on-ones with each member of my team, so after reading your response, I used that next meeting with Cordelia as an opportunity to step in, after taking care of our usual business. I used the framing about how if the roles were reversed, if Dawn didn’t want to vaccinate and someone was pressuring her to, I would need to shut that conversation down, because Dawn deserves to b…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose doctor’s office constantly left them on hold while they needed to be working? Here’s the update. I wrote in a few months ago about struggling to schedule doctor’s appointments when I worked at a busy reception desk. Thanks very much to both you and the kind commenters who offered sympathy and suggestions. It was nice to receive confirmation that there wasn’t some easy solution I was missing, and I appreciated the suggestions to use an earpiece from other people who’d done front desk work. I also saw a few suggestions that my question wasn’t really a work question, whi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. I’m off for the holiday, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2019. A reader writes: I have a dark sense of humor. I now realize that my boss does not. During a standard “how was your day off” conversation between my supervisor, manager, and a few peers, my manager mentioned that he was a chaperone for one of his kid’s field trips to Gatorland. Naturally, I asked if any of the kids on the trip got eaten by an alligator. When the response was no, I followed up with a “darn, you should get a refund” joke that everyone laughed at and then the conversation and the m…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Canceling a women’s group because of DEI concerns I’m a PhD student and it seems like my university is trying to cancel the Women in Computer Science networking group that I run. They’re going about it in a really weird way: rather than directly saying “this is illegal D.E.I.,” they’re trying to send us on a bureaucratic runaround to maintain the status quo of funding and booking rooms. We’re in New England, so I suspect it would be locally unpopular to bluntly state that they’re cancelling women’s groups due to D.E.I. How do I fight this? Just dela…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. the “terrified of humans” pair … curled up in my lap This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Piglet, by Lottie Hazell. After her fiance confesses a betrayal two weeks before their wedding, a woman becomes inexplicably ravenous. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Boss said, “Well, someone’s parents didn’t love them” about me In preparation for a team-building retreat, all employees in my department were asked to submit a baby photo for a “match the baby photo to the employee” icebreaker activity. The request for baby photos was framed as a requirement, not an opt-in request. I wasn’t able to get a baby photo because my mom is my only living family, and we are estranged. The request stirred up some *feelings* and left me feeling pretty crummy for a few days. I considered saying something to my boss about how …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m in a quandary and really second-guessing a decision I made regarding an offer that was made to me a couple of weeks ago. I work for a company that makes, let’s say, teapots. I recently found out that Cersei, the director of a different teapot-making company, wants to fire her entire design team and hire me to head a brand new one. I would not only be responsible for leading the new team, but for hiring everyone in it. The complication: the current head of the to-be-fired team is my mentor of 20 years, Jaime. I found out about this when Cersei invited me to lunch and told me she …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’ve been a manager at my company for 13 years. I have a team of five direct reports and meet with them for one-on-ones every one to two weeks. We review projects, develop strategies for hurdles, discuss what’s working and what’s not, and where they would like to see their careers go. Recently we had our annual reviews where I create their annual development plans. These reviews are quite involved and build on conversations we’ve had throughout the year. At the conclusion of the reviews, a formal letter from HR is drafted with the annual salary increase and general “happy to have you …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: A year ago, my boss was promoted into a new role at my company. I took on my boss’ job, in addition to my regular job, with my grandboss implying that I would soon be promoted into my boss’s old job. Well, you can guess how this ends — I ended up doing both jobs for a year without any extra pay or recognition, my attempts to get updates on the job status were ignored, and this week, my grandboss hired one of his old fraternity brothers — with no experience in our industry — for the job. Obviously, I’m looking for a new job and hope to lea…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Interview felt like an exam I had my first job interview in over 20 years yesterday, and it felt like an exam. Five people peppered me with a long list of questions, mostly hypotheticals. None of the questions were about my experience or my training. Only a couple were about what I had to offer the employer. The rest were, “What would you do if [thing that has never happened to me in all my many years working in this field] happened?” The thing was, I found myself answering all the questions not with what I would do, but with what Ms. Perfect would…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week, we talked about carpooling for work, and here are eight of my favorite stories you shared — some heartwarming, some not. 1. The kazoo music I fondly think of the coworker who, when I offered her the aux cable to play music off her device, looked hesitant and then said, “Look, I need to warn you, there’s going to be a lot more kazoo music then you’d expect.” 2. The trick I carpooled once with a coworker who lived in my neighborhood. I didn’t even realize he lived near me until he approached me one day and asked if I would like to carpool. Gas was hideously expensive, so I thought why not.…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader asks: I manage a team and have run into a problem with “Bob,” one of my employees. Bob loves this job. Tells me almost every day how much he loves being at this company. But as much as he loves his job, he’s not very good at it. He’s gotten us incorrect information and turns in incomplete notes. He tries to tackle more and more projects, but it’s leading to him misinterpreting information, making erroneous conclusions, and generally dropping the ball. His colleagues are frustrated because they cannot rely on his research — it often results in more work for them as they fact-check his informat…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here’s part 2 of questions from federal workers who are currently under attack by the administration, as well as others affected by the fall-out. Part 1 (and an explanation of what’s going on) was here. 1. For those of us staying, how do we deal with this? For those of us choosing to stay and continue defending the constitution, any advice? What are ways to deal with uncertainties, short notice changes, conflicting information, being short handed, and low morale? I hope many of us still feel that service and putting others before ourselves is good and the right thing to do. I wish there was a good a…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is “hey” rude? I have a former boss who asked all staff at a tiny nonprofit not to use the greeting “hey” to her. I think this is imperious and out of touch, at best. What do you think? It’s a bit much, but there’s a fairly outdated belief that “hey” is rude — remember those teachers and other elders from your youth who would respond to “hey” with “hay is for horses”? Was she a “hay is for horses” person clinging to old rules around the word, or was she more of a “don’t speak casually to me, peons” person? The former is a little eye-rolly, but what…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: About four months ago I hired a new employee, Arnold. He interviewed very well, and the other interviewers on the panel agreed he was the best candidate. However now I am starting to see some serious gaps in ability. The biggest issue is that Arnold totally forgets entire conversations we’ve had. Some examples: • I told him in June that he needed to plan the agenda for the team meeting in late July. A few weeks into July, I asked how the agenda was coming, and he said that was the first time he heard about it. I pointed him to our shared notes document from our 1:1 conversation in Ju…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My office is next to a person who swears a lot during the work day. I assume it’s frustration with his computer, but a least a couple times an hour I’ll hear an onslaught of expletives coming from his desk. It’s pretty disconcerting to hear and it’s also really distracting. Otherwise, he’s a great person to work with but I’m not sure how to approach this. What should I do? I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can re…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: My company announced a “biggest loser” weight loss challenge today and immediately my stomach sank. This was sent by the owner/founder of my small civil engineering company (about 40 employees). This is still so fresh for me I don’t even really have the words to express how many ways this is a horrible idea and would love your thoughts. I have the words. And those words begin with: how is this still happening in the year of our lord 2025? It’s incredible that so many workplaces are still oblivious to how very problematic weight loss competitions can be for many people — people wi…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How to work with a jerk who raises his voice, when “that’s just how he is” I work with Fergus, a senior engineer who has a reputation for being “crotchety,” a term I am starting to push back on because it seems to explain away his unprofessional behavior as a personality quirk or something to be expected because of his age. I’m trying to figure out exactly where to draw the line in order for me and my team to consistently push back against his behavior. On our last call, Fergus joined the zoom and immediately declared his team was not involved in th…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: As resume advice continues to evolve with the times (e.g., not including your street address on your resume), I’m wondering how important the location of each job is. Do employers really care if I worked in San Francisco, California, or in Dayton, Ohio? Would it be better to include in-person, hybrid, or remote? Yes, you should still list the city and state of each employer. Including the employer’s location helps verify that those companies actually exist. That doesn’t matter so much when the company is nationally known or when all your employers are local to the area you’re applyi…