Performance Tracking and Feedback

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: This is a community organizing issue, but it is ultimately about working closely with someone where there’s conflict, and one where I think a professional approach might be most useful. I (they/them) am a leader in a social justice-oriented community organization along with someone I’ll call Paul (he/they). We have the same type of leadership position, and we’re both quite active so we communicate daily and are in meetings at least once a week. We’ve been in conflict for four months, since I told Paul that the way Paul interrupts, criticizes, corrects, scolds, and dismisses me and ot…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose anti-vax employee was pressuring a coworker not to vaccinate her baby? Here’s the update. I really appreciated your advice and several of the thoughts from the commenters as well. I have weekly one-on-ones with each member of my team, so after reading your response, I used that next meeting with Cordelia as an opportunity to step in, after taking care of our usual business. I used the framing about how if the roles were reversed, if Dawn didn’t want to vaccinate and someone was pressuring her to, I would need to shut that conversation down, because Dawn deserves to b…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here’s a round-up of advice about how to deal with rude coworkers. how to deal with a coworker who’s rude to you dealing with a cranky, unpleasant coworker how to work with a jerk who raises his voice, when “that’s just how he is” new coworker is a rude know-it-all my coworker is rude and insubordinate my rude and intrusive coworker makes me feel horrible dealing with coworkers who are rude in meetings my intern is a rude jackass my coworker is a rude, inconsiderate bully — but am I being too sensitive? when a colleague is being rude to someone else what to say when your boss is rude to a co…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I want your help in understanding what, if anything, I can/should do about the way my boss talks about herself. I like my boss, but it’s exhausting! My organization recently went through huge layoffs, so everyone feels overworked and off-balance. As part of that I got a new boss. I get the feeling she’s nervous about doing a good job, and wants us all to like her. I do like her! But during 1-1s and team meetings, she tends to monologue — and it’s all overly personal, self-deprecating, or sad. Too-intimate details about her personal health, negative comments about her body, “funny” st…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m in a quandary and really second-guessing a decision I made regarding an offer that was made to me a couple of weeks ago. I work for a company that makes, let’s say, teapots. I recently found out that Cersei, the director of a different teapot-making company, wants to fire her entire design team and hire me to head a brand new one. I would not only be responsible for leading the new team, but for hiring everyone in it. The complication: the current head of the to-be-fired team is my mentor of 20 years, Jaime. I found out about this when Cersei invited me to lunch and told me she …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. My friend accused me of getting him fired, but I didn’t (#3 at the link) Thanks again for publishing my question. I was nervous about submitting it but your advice helped me realize that my fellow writer and friend knew the risks of what he was doing by going against our employer’s company policy. I also realized through the comments section that I didn’t fully explain what this policy meant! As with other media outlets, our employer publication strictly forbids us from accepting trips, dinners, or expensive gifts from businesses or individuals in e…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m wondering whether a good boss should ever show impatience. One of my employees, Jane, does a good job. I’ve given her a lot of (well-deserved) praise in public and private, and she’s said she’s happy in her work. However, she made a serious error the other day and when I brought it up with her, she shrugged and said it couldn’t be helped. I confess that my tone got impatient and I said something like, “No, we need to fix this because otherwise X.” I wasn’t shouting or otherwise being a jerk, but I definitely sounded impatient. I could see she was surprised, probably because I am…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: In August of 2024, I left behind TV news reporting to become a social media manager for museums in my city. My career in TV news was full of manipulation, toxicity, long hours, and missed holidays. My new job was a standard 9-5, with occasional weekend events for a few hours. It was the boring job I needed. The local theater and museum (they are combined and owned by the same company) took an interest in me, and the CEO offered me a job with them. I was told I would need to work weekends about once a month for shows, and I was okay with that. After looking at the schedule posted to t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. One of the oddest things about interviewing people for jobs has always been how frequently candidates say they don’t have any questions when I ask what I can answer for them. This is a job they’re considering spending a large chunk of their waking hours at for the next however many years, and it’s likely to have a significant impact on their day-to-day quality of life and progression in their career. Surely there’s something they’d like to know about. At New York Magazine today, I talk about why people don’t ask questions in interviews, why that makes a bad impression, and 10 especially strong questio…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer wondering at what point they could report their inappropriate and inflammatory coworker? Here’s the update. I finally quit so now I can update. One of the details I was obfuscating before was that we’re both student workers in our 20s at a post-secondary institution. Unfortunately, I couldn’t apply too much of your advice because things got CRAZY basically immediately after, but I still greatly appreciated the advice and the sanity check from you and everyone who commented. My question got posted the week before U.S. election day. The first words Kevina said when she walked…

In addition to the new “sagas” tag (for letters with multiple updates, twists, and turns), we now have the following tags as well: AAM classics – a tag for posts that are still frequently discussed years later. It includes the new hire who built a blanket fort in her office, the new boss who was a ghosted ex from years before, the coworker who wanted everyone to call her boyfriend her “master,” the spicy food thief, and many more. Favorites – some of my favorite posts over the years. Worst Boss of the Year Nominee – now every finalist for Worst Boss of the Year has been tagged and you can read about these degenerates all in one place. These are tags, not categories, …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week, we talked about carpooling for work, and here are eight of my favorite stories you shared — some heartwarming, some not. 1. The kazoo music I fondly think of the coworker who, when I offered her the aux cable to play music off her device, looked hesitant and then said, “Look, I need to warn you, there’s going to be a lot more kazoo music then you’d expect.” 2. The trick I carpooled once with a coworker who lived in my neighborhood. I didn’t even realize he lived near me until he approached me one day and asked if I would like to carpool. Gas was hideously expensive, so I thought why not.…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Every Tom, Dick & Harry, by Elinor Lipman. Yay for a new Elinor Lipman, who I believe is the Jane Austen of our time. A woman is hired to handle the estate sale of her small town’s brothel/B&B. There’s intergenerational friendship, a romance with the chief of police, family drama, a high school reunion, and much more. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full …

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A salary negotiation success story from a reader: Due to a lack of backfills, I’ve absorbed the work of some attritions over the last couple of years and have been operating for some time as three raccoons in a trench coat. I’ve far exceeded expectations and have been recognized in performance reviews (although not raises — my company has been well below cost of living for some time, with my department averaging around 2% annually since 2020). Now the very rare event for my company has happened where they’ve decided to permanently promote the job level of my existing role — to take what I’ve made it i…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I work in a department of nine people. We all get along well, but I’m struggling with how to handle my frustrations with my colleague, Marrgo. Margo is possibly the most well-intentioned person I’ve ever met, but she has the infuriating habit of bringing every conversation back to herself to explain how she understands or has been through the same thing. This week, the transmission in my car died. When I was lamenting to the group that I was now facing the financial hardship of either repairing it or buying a new car, Margo told me, “I get it. I just had to buy brand new tires for my…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: In the past year or two, quite a few people (typically middle-aged men) have been reaching out to me via LinkedIn (I am a 20-something woman) trying to recruit me. While I do have a lot of experience, I’m wondering if it’s odd that some of these professionals are reaching out to me, as I am under the impression it should be the other way around. They are the ones with the experience and connections while I’m the one building my network. My settings are set to the “not seeking a job” setting, and it’s clear on my profile that I am currently employed, and yet I still receive these fairl…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. For the Thursday “ask the readers,” what’s a secret about your field that would surprise outsiders to hear? Spill the beans in the comment section. (Make sure to specify your industry!) View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Greta & Valdin, by Rebecca K. Reilly. Greta and Valdin are siblings and roommates, one dealing with his break-up with a much older man, and one trying to figure out love and her career. It’s also about their large Maori-Russian-Catalonian family, and about struggling to find your way, and it’s funny. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. View the full article

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – May 2, 2025 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about jerks getting their comeuppance, and here are eight of the most satisfying stories you shared. 1. The thief At an old job, I was continually denied raises by the bully finance director (who somehow was always able to find money for his own raises.) He oversaw all purchases for the business’s renovation, which included lots of furniture, TVs, tech stuff, etc. All expensive stuff. He was one of many jerks and I eventually moved on, but I heard from a coworker a couple years later that he was fired one day when an expensive TV that went missing from storage was suddenly discove…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Last week we talked about out-of-touch executives. Here are 12 of the most outrageous stories you shared. (Also, if you’ve never wanted to eat the rich before, warning that you might after reading these stories.) 1. The renovation The head of the org I work for has been complaining about his home renovations for months. I get it, he had to move out of his house and … (checks notes) into the *other* property he owns. This has been happening while several employees are dealing with being illegally ousted from their rentals due to landlords not legally following the lead abatement process. But yes, you…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How do I give 360 feedback to my clueless coworker? I have been asked to complete a 360 review for the junior staffer on my team. In general, I would like to only be positive in these, as that’s what I want in return! And I have never expressed these feelings to this coworker. But he is like a little baby in the outfit of a 26-year-old man. He doesn’t have the general sense at work you’d like someone four years into their career to have — as an example, he scheduled our boss to meet with board members, assigning them a meeting time without asking t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I’m contemplating a job search and would love your advice on how to raise certain non-negotiable workplace factors — what I’d call “satisficers” — early in the process, without derailing conversations or coming off as naive or high-maintenance. For example, I travel extensively for work (sometimes over 100 hours in transit per week), and I’m simply not interested in a role that requires flying economy. Most companies in my field provide business class, but a handful don’t. Similarly, I find open-plan offices incredibly stressful and wouldn’t take a job that required one. These aren’t…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Most people try to make a good impression when they start a new job. Others … do not or, perhaps, cannot. Think, for example, of the new hire who was already badmouthing the business on Twitter, the employee plotting a coup on her second day, and the new hire who brought their mom to orientation. And then there were these: • • • • I was asked to see if I could find the brand new student worker who was supposed to be staffing a front line desk, as everyone who walked past noticed no one was sitting there. I happened to go around the desk — and discovered her sitting underneath the desk, ab…

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. A reader writes: I need help figuring out how to point out to someone they haven’t answered my question in a way that doesn’t sound rude. I’m a 40-year-old woman who has recently been diagnosed with both ADHD and auditory processing disorder. I’ve found that this is the reason why I have a hard time holding a lot of verbal information in my head. And this is why for my entire life I’ve been dealing with a communication problem that I don’t know how to handle. The problem is this: I ask someone a question, but they don’t answer my question. They reply with a word salad of vagueness and unnecessary in…