know-it-all coworker talks over everyone, students using AI during job interviews, and more

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Know-it-all coworker talks over everyone (and is often wrong)

We have a new employee, “Sam,” who thinks she knows everything. She has lots of experience in a closely related field, but has never done this specific job, nor has she worked in our region (the details of our work are location-specific.)

Whenever someone speaks, Sam jumps into the conversation. It does not matter if the speaker was clearly addressing someone else. Sam talks over people, interrupts, and answers questions that were not directed toward her. When she does this, she is condescending and rude, and very confidently dispenses wrong information. She offers incorrect advice and tells people how to do their jobs unsolicited. For example, a colleague told a funny story about a customer’s response to some written communication. Sam interjected to (wrongly) admonish the colleague for sending written correspondence rather than placing a phone call. She does this to people at all levels, above and below her. It happens, without exaggeration, multiple times an hour. We work in tight quarters, and Sam’s interjections are so grating that I now avoid conversations in our workspace because I know she will interrupt.

Any advice on how to handle this? When she talks over me, I continue speaking and attempt to ignore her, but she’s not getting the hint. You’ve given past examples of using language like, “I’m not looking for input on that,” but I don’t think I can say that dozens of times a day. Our supervisor is no help, and is leaving the office soon. Other management is dazzled by Sam’s resume and unwilling to hear that there are any issues with her. I am senior to her and have a supervisory component to my job title, but we both work under the same manager. It’s taking every ounce of composure not to burst out with, “Stop it, I wasn’t talking to you!” Help!

Are you up for having a private conversation with her where you say, “You’ve been interrupting my conversations with others and providing advice that actually isn’t correct. Please don’t interrupt if I’m talking with someone else. I’ll of course let you know if it’s something where we want to ask for input.”

Or if you want a less blunt version: “I know being in an open office means we can all overhear each other’s conversations, but when I’m talking with someone else, please let me handle the conversation on my own — it’s too disruptive otherwise, and sometimes you haven’t had the full context so you’ve offered advice that wasn’t correct for the situation.”

You might also consider having a more blunt reaction in the moment — “No, that’s not correct.” … “That’s not correct, let me finish talking to Jane and then I can explain it if you want me to.” … “I have this covered, thank you.” … “I’m going to handle this differently.” … “Please don’t tell Jane to do it that way; that’s not correct in this case.” … “Please let me finish — you interrupted me.” You might feel like you’re being rude, but she’s forcing that response by what she’s doing.

However, a big caveat: if management is dazzled by her, there may be less room to be that blunt, or at least to be that blunt as frequently as it’s warranted. But does your manager leaving soon mean that a new one is coming in? If so, is there any hope that that person will be more willing to intervene?

Related:
my coworker interrupts everyone’s conversations

2. Should students be told not to use AI during job interviews?

I had dinner last night with a friend who works at a large Fortune 100 company that works with a wide range of university career centers to recruit interns and entry-level staff. He was recently part of a team interviewing for summer internships that are likely to lead to full-time offers for after graduation.

He told me their team encountered multiple candidates this year who seemed to be using AI tools during their interview to give them answers to interview questions. My friend suspects they used AI to transcribe the questions in real time and then read back ChatGPT’s answer to the question. Typical signs for this were an overreliance on jargon, eyes darting back and forth like they’re reading an answer, and generally unnatural speech patterns and an inability to think on their feet to answer quick follow-ups.

They even did a case interview where a candidate took zero time to process/jot down notes and almost immediately launched into an answer that included perfect math, which a senior colleague told my friend he had never seen anyone do before. Of course, it’s possible that student is a genius, but in the debrief they all noted how bizarre this interview was and how they were certain she was using AI. They did not move this candidate forward.

I don’t see how this behavior is any different than a candidate preparing canned answers ahead of time and reading them off during the interview — which I’ve certainly encountered with students over the years, before AI tools existed to do it in real time. In fact, a few years ago, a couple times I paused mid-interview to say to a young candidate, “It seems like you might be reading from prepared answers. While interview notes are often a useful tool, I encourage you to engage with us in more of a conversation.” This generally worked in getting the candidate to stop reading off answers, and though I ultimately did not hire them, I hoped it helped them learn an important lesson.

I asked my friend if they ever give students feedback, or if they would consider pausing an interview to say something like that, or if they have considered including a disclaimer in their interview invitations that students suspected of using AI during their interviews will not move forward, and he said no, they just rejected all of these candidates and do not provide feedback as a rule.

This behavior certainly shows a lack of critical thinking and interview skills, but as these are 19- and 20-year-olds who are possibly doing their first-ever corporate interview, I’m wondering if companies are doing students a disservice by rejecting them without any feedback that this is a bad interview strategy. Should they be reporting this back to the career centers so they can try to discourage their students from doing this?

They should definitely tell the career centers they work with that they’re seeing this in interviews and have rejected candidates for it, and suggest that the career centers better educate students about why they shouldn’t do it. The career centers may have no idea it’s happening, and they absolutely should be talking to students about it.

I don’t know that I’d go so far as to mention it in interview invitations if it’s just been a few candidates … but if it’s been more widespread then that, then yeah, it could be part of setting students up for success to let them know it’s something they’ve been seeing and it will get them rejected. The ones who do it after that are really telling you something about their judgment.

3. How do I respond to outreach from the people who laid me off?

I was recently laid off from my job after nine years with the company. It was a small layoff — just me and one other colleague, who had only been with the organization for eight months. In the weeks since, a few senior leaders and partners from the firm have reached out to me via text, asking how I’m doing, offering support in my job search, or saying they’re happy to be a reference.

Here’s the thing: these are the same people who were directly involved in the layoff decision or, at the very least, had a seat at the table when it was made. And while I understand that they probably mean well, the outreach feels incredibly misguided — sometimes even hurtful. It’s difficult to reconcile being deemed expendable by these individuals while also receiving warm offers of help from them.

To complicate things further, I’m not sure their support would even be helpful. Some are unreliable communicators; others aren’t especially well-regarded in our industry and community. And, frankly, I’m trying to move on from these relationships, not keep them active in my life or career.

That said, I don’t want to burn bridges, especially while I’m in the midst of a job search. I know people talk, and I don’t want to come across as bitter or ungracious. But I’m also not sure how to respond when the outreach itself feels tone-deaf at best, and in some cases, disingenuous. Is there a tactful way to navigate this? Should I just say thank you and let it go, or is there a way to communicate how their messages are landing?

The message in a layoff isn’t that you as a person are expendable! I understand why it feels that way, but layoffs are about cutting positions because the company can no longer afford (or in some cases justify) the expense of that particular role. They could think you were the greatest person ever, but it still might not make financial sense for the organization to keep the position you happen to be in. I know it feels really personal, but layoff decisions aren’t (usually) made for personal reasons; they’re made for financial ones.

On a much smaller scale, think of if you had to stop using a service you liked but which no longer made sense financially — for example, if you had to let a nanny go because of money or because your kid didn’t need as much care anymore, but you thought she was great and wanted to help her find a new job.

That said, you’re certainly not obligated to accept help, especially if you don’t think their help would actually be useful to you. In that case, you can simply reply with something like, “Thanks, I appreciate it — I’ll let you know if I think of anything.” But unless you genuinely think they’d hurt more than help, I’d instead respond with, “Thanks, I appreciate it. If you know anyone who’s hiring for X type of work, I’d really appreciate being connected to them.”

4. Can my employer ban coffee from home while selling coffee?

In the U.S., is it legal for an employer to ban employees from bringing coffee from home at the same time they’re selling coffee? It’s an office job that just happens to sell coffee to employees, but not to the public. It sounds to me like a conflict of interest. Could I get fired for defying that ban?

Yes, it’s legal. That’s not to say it’s not a conflict of interest, but not all conflicts of interest are illegal.

So they can indeed make that rule and they could indeed fire you for violating it … although it would be pretty ridiculous for them to do that unless there’s some context I don’t know, like that you work in a high-security environment where employees have in smuggled spy devices via their outside coffee or something like that. Assuming there’s no reason like that, though, you should feel free to ask about the rationale and to push back with other coworkers if you feel strongly about it.

Related:
we’re not allowed to bring coffee to work

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