Emotionally intelligent people use the ancient Greek ‘Kairos’ rule to reduce anxiety and make the most of their time

Do you suffer from time anxiety? Before you answer, consider if any of the following scenarios sound familiar:

• You get a late start, and the whole day you’re running behind.
• You always feel rushed, to the point that you start to get panicky.
• You look at your task list at the end of the day, and you’ve only finished half of what you planned. 
• You constantly feel that time is slipping away. 

In other words, you’re constantly battling the feeling that there’s simply not enough time. 

But what if you could reframe the way you think about time?

Well, you can. It involves learning a little ancient Greek, and getting to know that society’s approach to time. As you do, you’ll have an emotionally intelligent tool that allows you to see time through a different lens.

I like to call this tool the “Kairos Rule.”

What is the Kairos Rule? And how can it help you manage your emotions, reduce anxiety, and make the most of your time? To answer those questions, let’s take a lesson in ancient Greek. (Sign up here for my free email emotional intelligence course.)

Chronos, Kairos, and the ancient Greek view of time

In her book Tiny Experiments, neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff explains how the ancient Greeks had not one, but two words to speak of time:

Chronos refers to quantity. This is the time of clocks and calendars, productivity tools, and linear goals.

Then, there’s kairos. Kairos expresses the quality of time, as opposed to the quantity. It recognizes each moment as unique, rather than a fixed, mechanical unit. 

Le Cunff describes moments of kairos as those instances “suspended in time,” where you are caught up in a moment with loved ones, or when you’re deeply engaged in self-reflection. 

“Kairos,” she says, “is when you feel like this moment, right now, is perfect.” (Interestingly, the Japanese have a similar expression: Ichi-go ichi-e, or “once in a lifetime.”)

The Kairos Rule, then, basically says this:

Not all moments are created equal, and the value of time depends on the situation.

The Kairos Rule is helpful because of the world we live in—a world that idolizes productivity, but the wrong kind of productivity.

Toxic productivity

“Nobody really wants to live a productive life,” writes Le Cunff in Tiny Experiments. “We want to express ourselves, connect with others, and explore the world. Productivity is just a means to those ends; it should certainly not come at the expense of actually living life.”

Le Cunff argues somewhere along the way society’s ideas of productivity went bad, to the point where we downplay the meaning of rest, reflection, and meaningful engagement.

“Each project needs a clear outcome,” writes Anne-Laure. “Conversations become transactional. So-called unproductive moments of playful curiosity and quiet contemplation where our most profound insights can arise are eliminated.”

It’s this broken view that causes many today to measure productivity in the short term, versus looking at the big picture—which is why we see so much stress-related sickness and burnout, and so many mental health issues.

In contrast, the Rule of Kairos encourages you to make the most of those “moments of playful curiosity” and “quiet contemplation.” It empowers you to prioritize and maximize the minutes, hours, and days with friends and loved ones.

So, how can you use the Rule of Kairos to reframe the way you think about time?

I recommend using the following questions:

• How much time am I taking for the things that really matter—like spending time with loved ones? Or taking time to reflect, recover, and recharge?
• Do I really need to get everything on my task list done? If I do, will it come at the expense of more important things?
• What changes can I make to use my time more wisely, with the big picture in mind?

Remember: Not everything you do will feel productive. And that’s OK. Instead of focusing on productivity, strive to see the unseen. 

See the kairos moments.

If you do, you’ll start to realize something important: You’re not running behind at all. In fact, you’re right on time.

— By Justin Bariso

This article originally appeared on Fast Company‘s sister publication, Inc.

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