job candidate’s name is a slur, exec is marketing a job as a “roommate opportunity,” and more

[ResidentialBusiness]

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Job candidate’s name is a slur

I recently reviewed a job application from a candidate whose given name is a slur. It’s not unheard of for people to be named this and there are still plenty of folks who don’t realize it is a slur. It’s not obscure knowledge by any means, but it’s definitely not as commonly understood to be harmful as more well-known slurs.

The thing is, I know that it’s a slur and I don’t think I can address someone by a word that I know is harmful even though it’s their name and what they prefer to be called. The position is still open so I may get so many better qualified candidates that it doesn’t matter, but if I do end up needing to interview them … what am I supposed to do?

Ours is a very informal work environment and everyone around me knows that I make a point of addressing everyone without titles or honorifics, including elected officials we work with. I don’t know their gender but if I find it out and end up using Mr. or Ms. Last Name, that would really stand out. Most people don’t choose their own names and I know what a pain it is to have your name legally changed, having done that myself, so I don’t want to exclude a good candidate because of this thing they probably didn’t choose. And yet, I don’t think I have it in me to say “Hey Racial Slur, can you finish up that TPS report for Bobby by end of day?” What is the right thing to do here?

People should be called by their names, even if you’re uncomfortable with it. There are names in other languages that sound identical to obscene words in English, and those people should be called by their names too; this is no different. The important distinction is that in this usage, it’s their name, not a slur.

In fairness, I do think there are some limits to this. If someone legally changed their name to King Of Turd Mountain and wanted to be called that, I think it would be reasonable to decline to play along (particularly when it comes to listing that name on your company website and so forth) … but someone going out of their way to try to be provocative/make people uncomfortable is a very different situation than someone just going by their given name.

2. Exec is marketing a job as a “roommate opportunity”

I work for a nonprofit that serves people with disabilities. This week, a senior vice president sent an all-staff email advertising a roommate opportunity. He said his daughter, who lives with disabilities, is looking for a roommate and it’s a great deal — free rent! You get a stipend! You just have to split utilities! Oh, and be available every night on call if she needs help using the bathroom or with any other emergencies. A home health aide works with her during the day.

Once again, he’s sharing this as a “roommate opportunity.” It’s … an overnight home health aide opportunity. And for the stipend, it is well below minimum wage (plus, a home health aide wouldn’t be expected to pay utilities!). It sounds like there’s no contract so there’s also no agreement upon things like time off, coverage, etc. You’d be on call every single night.

In addition to serving people with disabilities, our organization also tries to hire people with disabilities. In addition, given the nature of the field, many of the people in the entry-level tier, doing things like helping people use the toilet, tend to be low socioeconomic status themselves and are often from immigrant communities that are more vulnerable to exploitation and/or less savvy about American workplace expectations.

This “generous offer” feels really exploitative and inappropriate. It seems unethical in general for an SVP to try to recruit an under-the-table home aide for his daughter from his own staff. The nature of our work makes it even weirder; I would expect someone in our field to understand why this is unethical.

What are your thoughts? Is this completely insane?

You are correct: it’s exploitative, and it would be inappropriate anywhere but is particularly misplaced at your organization. I’m sure he’s thinking “here’s an audience that’s particularly sensitized to the needs of the disabled and who might appreciate this ‘great deal’” … but, as you point out, it’s very much not a great deal to work every night for less than minimum wage, and he’s misusing his position by marketing it to people he has power over. Someone high-up in your organization should have flagged it. (Well, really, he himself should have realized before sending it that it wasn’t okay, but since that didn’t happen, someone else should have flagged it.)

3. Can I book an earlier flight to a conference than everyone else?

In a few weeks, I am being sent on a big work trip to a four-day convention, my first one, although I have been with the company for many years in various roles. For a variety of reasons, such as plantar fasciitis, difficulty flying, autism/ADHD, and already being in a state of burnout, this is going to be an extremely hard trip for me. I’ve been told to expect 12+ hours on my feet and an additional 3-4 hours of dinner meetings each night. I cannot get out of it.

I have a good reputation and am in a mid-level role with a lot of responsibility, but not compared to the other attendees from my company who are all 5+ levels above me on the org chart. Their assistants have booked them all on a flight that leaves at 6 pm after work the night before the conference starts, meaning we would not even be getting to our hotel rooms until 1 am the night before the convention.

How bad would the optics be if I booked a flight earlier in the afternoon so I could be in bed at a reasonable hour? I am in charge of my own flight arrangements. I will also need some additional accommodation on the airplane that will be embarrassing to ask for openly in front of everybody.

Knowing the company culture, I actually think flying out a day early to ostensibly see a friend or relative before the convention would go over way better than implying I can’t run on four hours of sleep like they all can, but I don’t want to lie.

You know your company culture better than I do, but for the record: in most companies, it would be absolutely fine to say, “I don’t want to be exhausted for the first day of the conference, so I booked an earlier flight.” And that’s if you even needed to say anything at all; in a lot of cases you could just quietly book a reasonable flight and then, if asked if you were driving to the airport with the others, could just matter-of-factly say, “Oh, my flight leaves a couple of hours earlier.”

But if you don’t think that will go over well, it’s perfectly fine to use a cover story. “I’m flying out a little earlier to meet a family member who lives there” may be a lie but it’s a lie that doesn’t harm anyone, doesn’t affect anyone but you, and is reasonable if it’s in service of avoiding company dysfunction (and preserving your privacy around on-flight accommodations).

4. What does a career coach do?

I am unhappy in my current job and have been trying unsuccessfully to find something new for years now. I have multiple arts degrees and a job history that should translate into a good fill for most generic office jobs. However, I am totally overwhelmed about how to find these sorts of jobs and what they might be called in various industries so that I can apply.

So I found a career coach, hoping that she could take a look at my skill set and help me track down jobs I would qualify for or translate my skill set for a particular industry. I honestly don’t care where I work or what I do — I just want to be paid fairly and not work with total jerks.

However, that wasn’t what she seemed capable of doing. She was more like a high school guidance counsellor, making me take a number of personality and aptitude tests and asking a lot of questions about my “dream job.” One, I do not dream of labor, and two, I had my “dream job” and was chased out due to rampant sexual harassment and other bad behavior. I stayed way too long and developed anxiety issues because it was my “dream.” “Dream jobs” are a trap.

I could not get her to move on to actually applying for jobs because she was so hung up on me finding passion for a career, and that’s just never going to happen. I’ve reached out to a few other “career coaches” and they all seemed to be in the same zone: helping me find my passion. I have passion, it’s just not for work.

Did I just find a bunch of really bad coaches? Or is this what coaches do, and what I really need is another “assistance in finding work” person that’s called something else?

This is indeed what a lot of career coaches, maybe even the majority, do. They’re often the live version of that old What Color is Your Parachute? book. You could try screening them by being very, very explicit before hiring someone that what you need is help figuring out what you’d be qualified for, not what you would be motivated by, but even then, unless you find someone unusually good, I’d worry that they’ll fall back on the “passion” framework. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find, but it does mean you’re going to have to do a lot of pre-screening before engaging someone.

Part of the problem is that there aren’t any particular qualifications required to be a career coach, so just because someone is calling themselves that doesn’t mean they’ll have any expertise at understanding the range of jobs out there and what would make someone a good match for an employer hiring for that job (versus the “let’s explore your inner world” bent that you’ve been encountering). You’d probably have an easier time if you can identify a handful of industries you’re interested in and then seek out recruiters who work in those fields; they’re better equipped to help you position yourself as a candidate than many coaches are. (To be clear, recruiters work for employers, not candidates — but if you have skills they’re looking for, good ones can help match you to those jobs.) But that’s a little different than what you’re looking for.

5. Should I pay $600 for a certification I need for a job I’d like?

I’m trying to decide if I should study for and spend the money to take a board certification test. I’ve been working at my company for five years and have been a working, licensed professional for 14. I have an interest in moving more into a corporate role, and have a big interest into moving into a computer-based role. However those jobs are very rare to open up and are highly competitive when they do.

There is a different, more regulatory role in the health system that has opened up recently. It requires a specific, niche board certification. I emailed the hiring manager asking if they would consider hiring someone with a “certification within 6 months of hire” clause and was told no.

The cost of signing up for the test is $600. I think I could do well in the role and would enjoy it, and it also works closely with the department I want to move into. But it’s hard to fathom spending that much money for the sake of a job I may not even get an interview for.

Would the certification also make you a stronger candidate for other jobs that you’d want to apply for — and would you be a compelling candidate for those jobs once you had the certification? If so, it could be a worthwhile investment. But if not, I don’t recommend spending $600 just for a chance to be considered for a single job.

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