CEO shared family trip photos after announcing budget cuts, new hire aggressively compliments our work, and more

[ResidentialBusiness]

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. CEO shared family trip photos after announcing budget cuts

We just had a company-wide town hall, and the CEO — whom I’ve always known to be even-tempered and generally reasonable — kicked things off by sharing a recap and photos of his recent Disney World trip with 20 family members. This comes shortly after we were told about budget cuts, no bonuses, and rising health insurance costs that are eating into our modest merit increases. Needless to say, vacations aren’t exactly top of mind for most of us right now. Was this tone-deaf? Or am I overreacting?

It was tone-deaf.

Most people have no interest in seeing the CEO’s family trip photos at the best of times! Displaying the photos at all is weirdly self-centered for a town hall. But doing it right after announcing bad financial news is astonishingly out of touch.

2. Struggling new hire won’t stop aggressively complimenting our work

I work in a 30-person department in a much larger 10,000-person organization. The department is divided into several smaller teams with individual supervisors and team leads in addition to the more junior folk, and I’m the departmental manager.

We have a recent hire who is struggling performance wise. We have them on a PIP and are doing all we need to there. Some of the areas of improvement are really, really basic (and this is not an entry-level position) like “respond to colleagues’ email questions” and don’t no-show meetings. They don’t have much in the way of skills yet in the position either. I share this for context, that this employment relationship is really not going well. They also don’t have much grasp of organizational norms like not asking the CEO for direction on a project directly in the bathroom.

Yet this person loves to give work-related compliments. Daily “I’m so impressed by the quality of your work on this project” type of comments to me, who is more senior and decades more experienced than them. “I am struck by how passionate and hard-working this team is. Well done” after their colleagues have completed a project they had nothing to do with. Occasionally, this is peppered with unasked for, lengthy feedback on projects they had nothing to do with, with wacky suggestions for improvement. These have been easier to deal with directly.

The compliments, however, appear awkward for folks on the receiving end. I’ve noticed the immediate team barely responds anymore. It feels like this is the individual’s attempt to dominate and exert authority in areas where, frankly, they have no subject knowledge. How would you respond?

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” That’s it.

It’s possible that it’s an attempt to assert authority where they have none (the unsolicited feedback on projects they’re not involved with certainly sounds like that), but it’s also possible that they know they’re flailing and are looking for some way to better enmesh with the team / be liked / contribute something people will appreciate. It’s the wrong way to do it, but I’d look at it as an additional facet of the incompetence you’re seeing in other areas. They’re not reading situations well, they probably sense that on some level, and they’re trying to fix it … just badly.

If they were otherwise a promising employee and the inappropriate compliments were affecting their working relationships or the way they were perceived, it would be a kindness to talk to them about it. But since this is the least of the issues you’ve got to tackle with this person, a quick “thanks, appreciate it” is the way to go.

3. Calling out your company on social media

Last week Meta announced some changes to their free speech policies, including some quite awful examples of posts they will now allow, which include things like calling immigrants “dirt” and describing homosexuality as a mental illness. I don’t work for Meta, but I saw a post from a connection of a connection on LinkedIn who does work there. She’s written a long and (in my view) well-argued post, criticizing the new policy and outlining the harm to marginalized communities, including the LGBT+ community she’s a member of. Frankly I wish more people were as brave as her in calling out the terrible practices of their companies.

She has not put anything about her intention to leave, but my question is: is someone working for an organization as big and as politically influential as Meta risking their job by publicly criticizing their company on an issue like this? In my view it’s not the same as airing your office’s dirty laundry — it’s not like she’s posting about her boss Gary who she’s fallen out with. And these are major changes that will likely affect her community, maybe her personal online safety, and are quite obviously politically driven. But of course she is calling into question the wisdom of her organization’s leadership and the decisions of her colleagues, even if they are people she doesn’t know personally. What do you think?

Yes, there’s some risk to her job. Not necessarily the “call you into HR and fire you today” kind of risk, but the risk that she’ll be more likely to end up on lay-off lists? Or not be promoted into a higher-level position she might want at some point? Absolutely. (In theory there’s also the “fire you today” kind of risk, but she hopefully has enough of a read on the politics of her workplace to know whether that’s likely or not.)

It’s also true that the larger the company and the more they’re used to being part of the public dialogue (as Meta is, and especially right now), the more they’re probably used to these kinds of internal discussions playing out publicly and the less jarring it may feel internally.

4. My boss calls me, and only me, by my last name

I have been employed at my current company for 20+ years. My manager and I share the same first name. In one-on-one conversations or emails, he refers to me by my first name. In all other instances, he calls me by my last name. Others are starting to pick up on this during team meetings and they do the same. He only does this to me — everyone else is on a first name basis. It makes me feel disrespected. What is a good way to tell him this bothers me? And should it bother me?

I don’t know that he’s doing it to disrespect you, but you’re allowed to prefer being called by your first name!

My guess is that because you share a name, he might be trying to distinguish between the two of you. Obviously when he’s the one speaking, it’ll be obvious that when he says Lucien, he’s referring to the Lucien who is not him (unless he has a habit of talking about himself in the third person). But maybe he’s hoping that if he uses your last name, others will pick up on it (as they are) and it will cut down on confusion about which Lucien is being referenced when others talk. I don’t know — just a guess. Regardless, you can absolutely say to him, “I noticed you often call me Mackelberry instead of Lucien. I really prefer Lucien.”

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