boss says it’s unacceptable not to meet all deadlines, no matter how unreasonable

[ResidentialBusiness]

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I started a job eight months ago that I was very excited about. I was looking to get out of a highly stressful position and got this offer (same pay, somewhat worse benefits but growth potential) and what I thought would be a solid work-life balance. The first day, my boss mentioned how we typically end at 4:30. I’m used to working long hours so I was excited, thinking I’d have more time with my two small kids and husband. I was very wrong.

The first couple months were good and then “efficiency” became a big part of conversation. I was asked why reviewing a report would take me 15 minutes and could I get it down to 10? We also lost two people in our department and did not replace them while also being told we were no longer “outsourcing” any of our work. My colleague and I took it in stride and tried to be team players. Six months later, I’m working from 9 am until 9-11 pm every night or later. Before going out of office, I’ve worked until 1am and still been told I had too many items “outstanding” and it’s unacceptable to leave without all my work completely finished (which is not always possible when I’m awaiting responses from several people for info I’ve been following up for).

This all came to a head when my colleague and I both got really ill. We live in the same area and cold/flu was going around; my kids got it too. We were told we could take a sick day but all our deadlines still needed to be met. So, we couldn’t take one since that wasn’t possible, and we worked through it despite 102 fevers and both losing our voices entirely.

Now more and more work is being piled on. I haven’t ended before 9-11 pm in months and the burn-out is affecting my performance and physical and mental health. The stress keeps me up. I also feel like a terrible mom as I never get to spend an evening with my family, my husband is frustrated he never sees me at night, and my colleague is about to quit. But I have a family and I need this income.

We’ve brought it up to my manager and another higher-up, who say that we’re not being efficient enough and they’d love for us to finish on time but its not acceptable to log off/take PTO/a sick day if the work is not done. Despite not having experience in our day to day, they also say this workload should be manageable.

Is there a solution here? I’m a yes person and I realize I could have set better boundaries but in a new job I wanted to start strong. I’m outputting a ridiculous amount of work but it’s never enough.

You need to quit this job, because your company is abusing and exploiting you.

It’s one thing to expect people to pitch in and work (some) extra hours for a short-term, high-needs period. It is not reasonable to expect that as a routine way of operating, let alone daily — at least not unless people were clearly told of that expectation before they signed on and are being compensated accordingly.

The idea that it’s unacceptable to leave until all your work is done, even if that means staying past 1 am, is absurd. So is the idea that you can’t take sick days when you’re sick if there’s work waiting to be done.

That’s not how jobs work.

If they want to end each day with no outstanding work remaining, they need to hire the correct number of people to make that happen, not expect you and your colleague to work around the clock so they can avoid paying what that actually costs.

Your management is probably happy that they’ve convinced you to go along with this because they’re getting multiple positions worth of work from you, while only paying you for a single job. But you should stop going along with it.

You said you and your coworker wanted to be “team players,” but your company doesn’t seem like they’re on your team; you’re giving them far, far more than they’re giving you, and they’re happy to just keep taking unfairly, no matter the cost to you. That’s not the sort of team you want to play on.

Frankly, this is bad enough that you should consider quitting immediately (and explaining that during your notice period you’ll only be able to work the 40 hours per week that you agreed to when you came on board). If that’s not possible financially, then you need to go all-out on a job search because this isn’t okay or sustainable.

Meanwhile, while you’re stuck there, you need to set boundaries on your time. Tell your boss that your situation at home has changed and effective immediately you need to work the hours you were promised when you accepted the job. I strongly, strongly suggest you talk to your colleague and get her onboard with this plan too (because you’ll have more power standing as a team, and because she deserves it too, and also so that your work doesn’t just get piled on her).

Obviously, your boss won’t like this. You’ll probably be told you need to keep working late hours. The words to use in response are: “I was able to help out in a pinch, but I’m not able to work 14+-hour days anymore. When I was hired, we agreed I should 40-hour weeks on average, and the salary I’m being paid reflects a 40-hour week. I’ve gone above and beyond to help out after we lost two people, but this is affecting my health and my family and I need to return to normal hours.”

Is there a danger that they’ll fire you for daring to set utterly reasonable boundaries? Yes. (If that happens, you’ll be eligible for unemployment, which I know is likely cold comfort, but it’s worth factoring into your thinking.) But right now you’re being badly mistreated, have been thrust into a situation you never agreed to, and it’s affecting your health — and I would bet that if you calculate the actual hourly wage you’re receiving for those 70-hour weeks, that will help illustrate how bad this is. And while yes, putting your foot down is a risk, if you don’t do it, your company will simply keep expecting this of you and you’ll be in this same situation six months from now, or a year from now. The only way out is to say no.

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