should we get the day after the Super Bowl off, asked out on LinkedIn, and more

[ResidentialBusiness]

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should we give everyone the day after the Super Bowl off?

I live in Chiefs territory and run a small business. My colleagues have requested that I close the office the day after the Super Bowl. I’m not inclined to grant this request, as our leave policies are very generous. I think everyone has plenty of time to take off if they choose. How common are Super Bowl office closures?

Not very common. It’s certainly a nice thing if you want to do it, but it’s perfectly reasonable to expect people to use PTO if they want the day off.

Related:
is my employee lying about using sick time for the Super Bowl?

2. I was asked out on LinkedIn

I had a perfectly pleasant conversation with someone at a cafe I frequent near my workplace. We traded names and a few quips, and then my food was ready and I popped out after saying I’d see him around. I thought I heard him ask the cashier if I was single as I trotted out the door but shrugged it off, thinking it was for the best to not be too vain and I could have misheard (and I’ve never seen him before, despite the two of us apparently both being regulars). I’ve got a good rapport with the staff and figured there was no way I hadn’t mentioned my long-term partner at some point over the last two years I’ve worked in the neighborhood. Someone would tell him, right?

I proceeded to not think about it for the rest of the weekend, checked my email bright and early Monday morning, and found a very flirtatious message attached to a LinkedIn invite. That’s when I remembered I was wearing my branded work jacket that day. Heck.

Do I ignore it? Delete it? Take a hiatus from my favorite cafe and hope I don’t see him around the neighborhood? I can do all these things, I’ll just be depressed to take a hiatus from the best cappuccino in the neighborhood. I know it’s not a crime for someone to shoot their shot, but … agh! That’s my professional LinkedIn!

Yeah, it’s not great for someone to use a business networking site that way — especially if he did hunt you down via your branded work jacket. But it happens, and the social/work line on LinkedIn has been getting awfully blurry for a while.

There’s no reason you need to stop going to your favorite cafe. He took a shot, he missed, and one hopes he can handle that with a reasonable amount of maturity. If he’s in any way creepy or harassing to you, you should feel free to inform the cafe where you’re both regulars, but you’ve got decent odds that won’t happen and you don’t need to plan on avoiding him just in case it does; cross that bridge if and when you have to.

As for the message itself: if you prefer to ignore it, you can. Plenty of people don’t check their LinkedIn often or ever. That said, unless he’s given you a reason to think you would be better off not engaging at all (which doesn’t sound like the case), I’d figure it’s worth investing in a quick “no thanks,” so that if you do run into him again that will already be out of the way.

3. Company is trying to make low-performing coworkers job harder so they’ll quit

I was recently in a meeting with a senior manager. Although I’m not in management, the work I do requires working with them regularly and requires a certain level of confidentiality. Something that was mentioned outside of our work scope really bothered me: I had mentioned that I’d heard an employee a few levels below them was struggling. They told me that yes, that person’s manager was told to make their job difficult so they would quit. Hence why they were struggling.

This really bothered me from an ethical standpoint. And it’s actually the second time I’ve heard it, although there were some extenuating circumstances with the first person.

Is this a normal thing to do? Is this just bad management practice? I’ve managed people in the past and would not feel comfortable with this. To date this company has been great, but they do have a track record of not firing people despite years of repeated poor performance. You have to almost break the law for then to consider firing you. But this? It just feels wrong on so many levels.

Yes, it’s wrong, and it’s terrible practice. It’s terrible practice because it’s unethical and inhumane, and because it’s a fundamental dereliction of duty; managers are responsible for giving clear and actionable feedback, letting people know when they’re falling short, working to help them improve, and then letting them go if after that they’re not performing at the level needed.

It’s not at all surprising that an organization that won’t fire people would resort to this; both of those things (never firing, no matter how warranted, and mistreating someone until they leave on their own) are symptoms of management that’s incompetent and unable to appropriately exercise authority. (Also, what if the employee digs in and never leaves? Their manager will just accept bad performance forever, no matter how severe?)

You should be very, very wary of a company that operates like this.

4. Coworker is opening mail and packages addressed to me

Is it okay for a coworker to open work-related mail and packages that I have ordered and have my name on them? If it were me, I would just put the unopened package on the coworker’s desk but maybe I’m overreacting.

It depends on your company’s practices. From a legal standpoint, it’s fine; postal regulations say that mail delivered to an organization, even if addressed to a specific person, is delivered to the organization itself, and the organization can decide how to distribute it from there.

But is this person charged with opening and distributing mail for your company or are they just being nosy? If they are charged with it, you can try asking them to simply deliver your mail unopened, although it’s possible they’ve been specifically told they need to open things. On the other hand, if they’re just being nosy, you can ask them to stop.

5. The sleep shifts I depend on for income have been taken away

I have recently been covering in a different location due to the area needing a team leader. I work in care and often need to do sleep shifts (shifts where you sleep on-site so you are available in case of emergency). These sleep shifts have been a regular source of income for the past five years, and I depend on them to get by.

When my boss first approached me about covering in the new area, they made a verbal promise that I would still get my sleep shifts. But now, three months later, my sleep shifts are non-existent and I am losing wages that I desperately need.

My sleeps cover my car expenses and, as I am covering in a different area that requires me to drive there to work, I am afraid that when I get paid next I will be unable to get anywhere due to not being paid my promised sleeps. This would mean resigning, as I would not be able to travel to the area I am covering. The area I am covering in is 100 miles away from my normal place of work.

Because this is no fault of my own, would I be able to take my boss to court for lost earnings and essentially being forced out of a job due to my boss going back on their promise and making me quit due to my wages being severely cut through no fault of my own? I have a young family and this unexpected wage cut is going to severely affect me and my children.

There is another team leader who is also covering in the same area as me and is still getting there sleep shifts, so why have my sleep shifts been taken away and theirs haven’t? It feels like a personal attack, favoritism, and I am being set up to fail. I have approached my boss several times over this issue and I just get fobbed off each time.

There’s no legal cause of action unless (1) your sleep shifts were taken away for a discriminatory reason (like because of your race, gender, disability, or other protected characteristic) or as retaliation for exercising a legally protected right (like reporting harassment), or (2) you have a written employment contract promising those shifts for a specific period of time (although most U.S. workers don’t have contracts and I’m guessing you would have mentioned it if you did).

I know you said you’ve approached your boss about the issue, but have you spelled out explicitly that you literally can’t stay in the job without the sleep shifts? If not, it’s worth making that clearer (as long as it’s really true — you don’t want to say that if in reality you’d stay until you find something else).

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