How to be a thought leader (without feeling cringey)

The number of people who have come to me whispering, “I want to be seen as a thought leader.” And yet when I say, “Amazing, let’s put you on camera,” I’m suddenly met with . . . crickets.

I get it. Putting yourself out there can feel awkward. Exposed. Vulnerable. That’s how I feel about dancing in public. It’s my own personal nightmare.

At Zumba, I’m hiding behind the water cooler. At my wedding, my husband had to mouth the 1-2-3-4 count so I wouldn’t lose the beat. And recently at a music festival, the band leader pointed at me to come dance on stage. I prayed he was pointing to the person behind me. Nope.  

As I sheepishly walked up the stairs to the stage, I realized something important: no one cares that much. No one thinks I’m auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance. They’re not judging me—I was overthinking. So I danced. Honestly, probably not that well. However, once I stopped overthinking, I actually had fun.

That’s the truth about visibility: Once you stop overthinking, you can start owning your voice. 

The Real Fear Behind Thought Leadership

When I spoke at this year’s Fast Company Innovation Festival on this topic, I started with a few simple questions:

Who wants to be more visible? Who wants to be seen as a thought leader? Who wants speaking invitations, press, clients, opportunities?

Almost every hand went up.

Then I asked, “Who posted a video of themselves in the past month?” Not even a third of the room.

We say we want to be seen, but we hide.

We tell ourselves we’re too busy, that social media is superficial, or that we’re “not good on camera.” I’ve trained thousands of people to be on camera—from my years as a national TV producer to now a public speaking and video coach—and everyone can learn the skills of being confident on camera. 

So what holds people back? Fear. Fear of looking silly, fear of seeming salesy, fear that someone from high school will see our video and mock us.

But here’s the reality: Hiding from the camera is hiding from opportunity.

If you’re not showing up, people who should be discovering you—clients, collaborators, journalists, recruiters, conference organizers—simply won’t find you.

Visibility isn’t vanity. It’s credibility.

From ‘Accomplished but Anonymous’ to Seen and Successful

After nearly 20 years producing and directing at Netflix, People, and launching Us Weekly’s first-ever digital video unit, I left TV to help professionals grow through video and podcasts.

But I had a problem: My own social media was a hodgepodge of work moments and my young children climbing on top of me. I was what I now call “accomplished but anonymous.”

I had expertise and credibility—but only to my circle of media executives and TV producers. I needed visibility outside my circle if I wanted clients to seek me out.  

So I started posting to social media, showing up on camera and speaking at seminars. It was awkward at first (not as awkward as dancing on stage!) but I got better each week. Over time, I had new clients, invitations to be a guest on podcasts, and corporate training opportunities. The success has metastasized since then. This year I gave two TEDx talks, I’m a national keynote speaker, and have a thriving business coaching professionals to be seen as experts through video and podcasts. None of that would have happened if I continued to be concerned about “being cringey.”

And that’s why I created my SEEN Framework, to help professionals show up authentically without feeling fake or cringey.

The SEEN Framework

Here’s a breakdown of what SEEN stands for.

S = Self-Awareness

I grimace when people say “I know I should be on camera, but I’m not good at it” as if they’ve failed in life. 

You’re an expert in your industry, not a full-time TV host. I have a degree in communication, so don’t feel you “should” know this. And just because you own a phone does not mean you automatically know how to create content. (If owning a microscope made me a scientist, I would have saved a lot of money on tutors.)

Being self-aware means recognizing what you haven’t learned yet. Be kinder to yourself. Being confident on camera is a skill, not a personality trait. 

E = Expertise

In my very first job in TV news, I decided who got on-air as an expert. If I picked someone who wasn’t actually an expert? I could get fired. (And I really needed that job.)

To be viewed as an expert, establish both your credibility and your point of view.

Ask yourself: What do I believe about my industry that isn’t being said enough? What are people constantly misunderstanding about my work? What problems am I obsessed with solving?

These insights become your content pillars, your speaking topics—even the early chapters of your book. One of my leadership coach clients recently told me, “My book is basically already written thanks to our messaging work.” That’s the magic of defining what you stand for: It clarifies everything. Forget about building your “personal brand”—share your professional perspective. 

E = Exposure

When I asked the crowd at the Fast Company Innovation Festival what word “influencer” brings to mind they said: “shallow,” and “freeloader.” Tough crowd.

But when I asked a friend what she thought the word meant, she said: “An influencer is a thought leader in their industry.”

Forget about semantics. 

And don’t shy away from messaging people you don’t know well—some of my most meaningful business relationships, like partnerships, collaborations, and clients have started online!

N = Next Level

When I began in TV over 20 years ago, to be visible you needed to be selected by an editor or a TV producer. Instead of feeling that social media is a burden, see it as an opportunity. 

Stop waiting for gatekeepers—bosses, publishers, networks—to choose you. Create your own opportunities. Start a video series. Host a webinar. Pitch yourself to a podcast. Launch the newsletter you’ve been thinking about since 2017.

One of my clients—a health care consultant—followed this exact path: We created a video series and podcast, and she doubled down on posting to social media. Within months she had three new clients (including her dream client) and within a year she was invited to moderate conferences nationwide.

When you stop waiting for permission and start creating, doors swing open. 

The Mindset Shift: Stop Hiding, Start Shining

Thought leadership doesn’t start with followers, it starts with ownership. Own your ideas, your voice, and your visibility.

Create your own stage. When you stop hiding, you start shining.

Thought leadership isn’t about being loud or cringey. It’s about sharing your point of view, and having the value you bring be seen and recognized. 

So stop overthinking and start owning your voice. People want to hear it.

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