my employee calls in sick after any negative feedback

A reader writes:

Two years ago, I began managing Craig, who had been doing the same tasks day in and out for a decade. He hadn’t adapted to new technology, best practices, or industry trends. My first order of business was to coach him and challenge him to grow and learn. For more than a year, we built up a great trajectory. People saw how much his work improved and commented on it frequently, and said he seemed revitalized in many ways. His progress gave me a lot of hope that he could become good at the modern demands of his role.

Then about six months ago, Craig suddenly reverted to his old patterns. It was as if the prior year of progress got completely wiped out. Only this time around, he hasn’t been able to step up they way he did last year — even though we both know he’s fully capable, having done this all before.

Recently he has started calling in sick the day after receiving even the mildest negative feedback. If a project goes off the rails or has to be delayed, we work the problem until it’s solved and later debrief about what went wrong. During the debriefs, I let Craig take the lead and I ask open-ended questions. I’m careful to keep it factual and focused on learning for next time. He assesses his work honestly and takes appropriate responsibility for missteps. Then the very next morning, he calls in sick. When he does return to work, he’s quiet and withdrawn for a couple days. This has happened three times in the last two months.

I should be clear that the missteps are not disasters. There’s no drama. Nobody is angry and nobody points fingers. I’ve let a lot of these things go that I would have otherwise corrected. The problems I do raise are things with an impact on other teams: missed deadlines, not completing something he had committed to, etc.

He says all the right things about wanting to improve, but unlike last year, it just hasn’t happened. And now I’m at a loss as to how to help him if he is going to be incapable of coming to work after mistakes. It’s getting to the point where I’m afraid to say anything to him at all. How do I help Craig out of the tailspin or time vortex that has consumed him?

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

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