update: when your ex is a coworker — and a silly one

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

Here’s an update from a letter-writer way back in 2009 whose coworker was a not-very-well-behaved ex (first update here).

I left the country and HR a few years later, moved to a different country in a different department, and was introduced to a colleague by another colleague. Got married to the colleague, continued working there, had a family (human and cats). We both got burned out and decided to semi FIRE, moved to a third country, and are now staying in a small, progressive town with loads of greenery. We joke that we moved for our cats’ retirement. We are all thriving — I have a fully remote, four-day job which is pretty good (not going to be VP but don’t need to work over contracted hours). My spouse has his own company that’s doing well. Cats are enjoying their retirement years and our child is enjoying her schoolmates.

Him? No idea — I did a google search of his name and can’t even find any information about him online — the first few pages of Google were that of people who were artists, researchers and teachers — people who definitely brought more value to the world than he did. If he had a Nazi pedophile dad to support him, he could have made it big inventing electric cars but alas, he didn’t have enough family money that would have made him being an asshole a strength.

Hope you have a good holiday and a great start to the year, Alison!

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