my employee showed up at a company party with a child, left early, then tried to claim someone else’s prize

A reader writes:

I’m dealing with two issues from the same event with the same employee.

I am the manager for a warehouse distribution center for a larger company.

For our holiday party, I handed out RSVP cards with a choice of one of three dinners for the employee and a guest a few weeks ahead of the party so we knew of a count for the meals and we could pre-pay. The dinner was at a somewhat upscale location (a country club). I was somewhat surprised when one of my employees (Kyle) showed up not only with his wife, but also a 5-6 year old child/grandchild. After the meal and while I was making a speech about how the company was doing, work anniversaries, etc., the child started saying, “I’m bored, I want to leave,” getting louder each time they said it. So during my speech, Kyle, his wife, and the child left.

Not a huge deal, but at the end of the party a member of the waitstaff handed me a bill for $18.75 for a chicken strip meal and a pop for the child. I had to pay (plus tip) out of my own pocket. How would you handle this? Ask for reimbursement from Kyle? Plus how to discuss not bringing a child (or an extra guest) to what was an adult event with an invite for only two people?

The second issue with Kyle: all employees were given a ticket when they arrived and we had enough prizes/gifts for every employee at the party. We would draw a name and a prize/gift was given. Because Kyle had left, we just continued to the next name after his name was drawn. That meant we had an extra item at the end, so I put all the tickets back in the basket and announced that whichever employee’s name was drawn, their guest would get the prize.
Yesterday I overheard some talk about how Kyle approached the employee whose wife had won the extra prize and is expecting them to give up the prize as Kyle should have received it, even if he wasn’t there. The employee hasn’t approached me (yet) about the situation. Do I step in now, or wait until something is said to me? Even though it wasn’t stated “must be present to win,” should I have held onto Kyle’s prize or was it okay to give it away?

Some companies let employees win raffle prizes at parties even when they’re not there, but it’s not at all uncommon to confine prizes only to people who are in attendance — and Kyle was out of line in approaching his coworker and demanding the prize. In your shoes, I’d just talk to the employee who Kyle approached and let them know the prize is theirs and they don’t need to feel any pressure to hand it over to Kyle. Add that if Kyle causes any issues over that, they should let you know and you’ll handle it.

There’s an argument for giving Kyle a heads-up too, particularly if your sense is that this is going to blow up into a problem. I’d say it this way: “Sorry you had to leave early! Please don’t ask Ralph to give up the prize his wife won; that was my call when you weren’t there when your name was drawn.”

As for Kyle bringing his wife and a child when the invitation was only for one guest: let that go and just be clearer about the expectations next year. There are companies where employees are welcome to bring additional family members to holiday parties, and people don’t always scrutinize invitations enough to realize that one guest is okay but two wouldn’t be. (Should they read more carefully? Sure. But people don’t, and it’s usually not worth the hassle of making a big deal about it unless it truly causes significant problems.) Plus, who knows, maybe they had a last-minute child care emergency and thought bringing the kid along was the best solution, or just didn’t realize this was going to be a “company speeches” sort of event and not something more family-friendly.

The $18.75 for the kid’s meal should be a business expense (one you get reimbursed for), just like if there were some other unexpected add-on to the charges for the event. As the host of the event, handing Kyle a bill would be really ungracious. And the point of company holiday parties is to build morale, not to leave people feeling bad or resentful or like they/their family were a burden. $18.75 is a small price for the company to pay to avoid that.

But for future events, be clearer up-front on the invitation and when talking about the party — “one guest per employee,” “this is not a child-friendly event (there will be work speeches!) but you are welcome to bring an adult guest,” or whatever is right for the circumstances. Clearer is always kinder (but so is giving people some grace if they get it wrong, within reason).

The post my employee showed up at a company party with a child, left early, then tried to claim someone else’s prize appeared first on Ask a Manager.

View the full article