Why rituals, not resolutions, create intentional leadership

I’ve always been somewhat ritualistic, shaped by my Midwestern upbringing in a modest immigrant family. I remember my parents calculating the mileage of our ‘82 Honda Civic in a notepad after every fill-up, the same car I eventually inherited in high school. Or saving every receipt on vacation to audit our daily spending down to the dollar. In every sense, they were amazing parents, and their rituals instilled in me a desire to be intentional about how I lived my life.

As human beings in a world of constant distraction, time is the most precious resource we have. As a CEO, managing that resource is one of the most important skills you can master. And it’s no picnic. I’ve often said work-life balance in the C-suite is an illusion. It’s a worthwhile concept, but just like every cause has an effect, every choice has a consequence. Work out or binge-watch a show? Travel the world or save for a house? One isn’t better than the other; they’re just choices.

Rituals structure your time. Put simply, the more deliberate you are with your habits and behaviors, the more intentional you can be with that time. They don’t emerge from nowhere; they’re developed and refined over years of trial and error. How we create and, more importantly, maintain habits is deeply personal. What works for me almost certainly won’t work for someone else.

RITUALS IN SERVICE OF OTHERS

GE, a company known for its highly organized, almost programmatic culture, is where I honed many of my habits. Early in my career, I worked 12- to 13-hour days, socialized until midnight, slept four or five hours, and hit repeat. At 26, I became a manager for the first time and realized that my colleagues, many of them only a year or two younger, were looking to me for guidance. Rituals were no longer just a catalyst for my own success; they became a way to deliver on my responsibility to others—a mindset that still defines my leadership at Twilio 25 years later.

THE 70-20-10 RULE

About 18 months ago, I met with a mentor, a seasoned leader and board chairman for some of the world’s top businesses. He shared a piece of advice that resonated with me: never spend evenings on things that aren’t mission critical. His point was simple: if it’s not family, it better be work. Otherwise, skip it.

Apart from a select few industry events, I decline nearly all networking and work-adjacent invitations so I can spend my time on what matters: showing up for my family and the company I run.

Most of my rituals orbit my calendar. I refuse to fill it with anything that drains attention or energy, both people and topics, personal or professional. That’s why I adhere to a 70-20-10 rule: 70% of my time on what matters, 20% on what must get done, and 10% on what gives me energy. That leaves exactly 0% for distractions.

Speaking of those work-life consequences, I’ve missed milestones and moments with friends and family I can never get back. But I made choices that were right for me at the time and have few regrets. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to carve out a life my parents only dreamed about. Today, as a soon-to-be empty nester, I’m much more intentional (and present) about building rituals around moments that matter most—that 70%—like family dinners: a ritual I almost never miss when I’m in town.   

RITUALS BEHIND MY ROUTINE

Rituals are, by nature, structured and repetitive, but they aren’t immutable. I’ve adapted mine to meet different stages of life and career—kids, promotions, jobs. I’ve built and shed many, but these seven are most foundational for me right now:

• Power of a plan: It sounds obvious, but aday without a plan is a ship without a rudder. I start each day, week, month, and year with one. It prioritizes what matters and reinforces accountability.
• Refill the tank: My parents were firm believers in ‘work hard, play hard,’ and that mantra shapes my weekends. While I do work, I make sure Saturdays and Sundays are memorable—or ‘epic’ as my baseline. With one kid in college and another headed there soon, I prioritize my time with them as much as possible, with regular trips to the record store with my daughter or the driving range with my son.
• Delegate a lot: There are two forces at work here: I have a highly competent staff, and delegation empowers ownership (how else do we learn?). And it lightens my load.
• Avoid multitasking: Multitasking is a myth; research backs this, and so does my personal experience. It’s unavoidable sometimes, but always at the expense of something else. I try to avoid it, at work and home.
• Declutter the inbox: Email overload is real. I embrace a philosophy of inbox zero to reduce clutter and track priorities.
• No meeting default: I only attend critical meetings and believe they are for three things: dialogue, debate, and decision-making. Everything else can be done asynchronously, and I regularly purge those that don’t meet this bar.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The more responsibility you take on as a leader, the greater the demands on your time and energy, and the more critical it becomes to perform for those who depend on your judgment, guidance, and steady hand. Decades into my career, I’m a creature of habit. Whether in the office with colleagues, on the road with customers, or at home with family, my days are anchored by rituals.

So, as the energy and enthusiasm of the New Year inevitably wanes, resolutions will too. It’s rituals, ones that fuel creativity, value precious time, and set you and your teams up for sustainable success, that last.

Khozema Shipchandler is the CEO of Twilio.

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