am I not cut out to be a manager?

A reader writes:

I’m a newish manager, and I have one direct report. My new employee, “Susan,” quit this week. Her old employer had reached out to her and made her a dream offer. I spent five months training Susan. She had learned a lot and was starting to work well independently. The thought of starting over training a new employee is exhausting and depressing, and I feel completely defeated.

Susan isn’t the whole story. Before Susan, my employee was Joe. Joe worked for me for three months before his serious mental health issues became apparent. His anxiety and depression made it impossible for him to come to work on many days, and he told me that the job was too stressful. After a very unpleasant and dramatic three months, he resigned and I accepted his resignation. Then he tried to rescind his resignation and there was a period of time that I was genuinely afraid of him.

Before Joe, there was Emily. Emily was my first employee and mediocre in every way. She left after a year. In hindsight, she was fine and I could have done a better job training and managing her. At that point, I had never managed before, and I had no idea what I was doing! I didn’t know how good I had it with her!

I acknowledge that I made some mistakes as a manager, but some of the circumstances were out of my control, like Joe’s illness. Another complicating factor is that the job is focused on boring research, but due to company policies I’m not allowed to advertise it with a title that makes that completely clear. Instead, the role has a title that makes the work sound somewhat more interesting. For that reason, it’s difficult to recruit candidates who are okay with completing boring research 90% of the time.

So in less than two years, I’ve had three employees in the job. Any confidence I had as a manager is gone, and I worry about what others may think when they see the turnover in this role. Am I just a terrible manager? Can I chalk up my employees leaving to extenuating circumstances (mental illness, dream job offer)? Am I not cut out to be a manager? Or should I try again?

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

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