I’ve been using my company credit card for personal expenses

A reader writes:

I used my company credit card for personal expenses over a long period (so, definitely not accidental purchases). I assumed it was somewhat frowned upon, but thought it was fine as long as I paid it off on time on my own dime. The balance amount over the months has ranged from $1,000 – $4,000.

I did not realize it was a violation of agreements until I neglected to pay the balance for one month. (Before that, I had been paying off the full balance every month.) I did end up satisfying the balance, but obviously that invited scrutiny into how I have been using the card and they went back and looked at the history of transactions.

HR set up a call with me to ask about the situation, lowered the credit limit on the card, and asked if I wanted to just cancel the card. I said to go ahead and cancel the card; now that I understand the cardholder agreement better, I don’t anticipate using the card again for personal expenses. Would it have been better to keep the card and just not use it to prove that I could be responsible?

I apologized and took responsibility, but I am experiencing overwhelming shame and anxiety over the situation, and have reached out for professional help (my therapist and a financial counselor). This is tied to a larger mental health, shopping addiction, and impulse control issue I have been seeing a therapist about. I don’t really want to have to reveal that part to work, so I haven’t as of now. I looked briefly into our EAP and it felt risky to seek help there.

I didn’t realize it was potentially a terminable offense. I do realize that now after researching the issue once HR scheduled a meeting with me. And I don’t have a professional or reasonable explanation for using the card in that way, so I realize how bad it is and looks.

I obviously worry that this puts me at the front of the line to be fired or let go, so I am wondering if I should start seriously job searching.

I realize I am 100% in the wrong and I feel physically unwell about the situation. I would like to save my job but I also know that may not be realistic. Besides this, I have had good performance and recently (in the last month) received a merit increase.

First, for the record: as you know now, this wasn’t okay to do. You were borrowing their credit for your own personal use, and you opened them up to the risk that you’d rack up charges you couldn’t pay off immediately, and it’s not okay to do that in some else’s name without their explicit consent.

But it doesn’t sound like you’re about to be fired over this. HR met with you about it, they addressed it, you paid off the balance, and they gave you the option of canceling the card. If they were getting ready to fire you, they’d be a lot less likely to have given you a choice; they would have simply canceled the card. They also likely would have indicated the situation was still an open one, but it sounds like they consider it dealt with.

Their perspective is most likely that you misunderstood the agreement but you paid it all off every month so you weren’t stealing from them, it’s been addressed, and unless it happens again, it’s been handled. They’re obviously not going to be happy about it — but based on how they’ve handled it so far, it doesn’t sound like they’re gearing up to fire you.

It would likely be a very different outcome if they had been paying the expenses you charged or if you built up a balance you couldn’t pay off yourself immediately (like this person who racked up $20,000 in personal expenses on his company card). 

If I were your boss and you were otherwise a good employee, I’d be concerned that this happened, it would make me doubt your judgment, and it would take time to build trust back, but I wouldn’t be leaning toward firing you over it unless there were other issues, particularly around trust and responsibility. I do think you need to talk to your boss about it if you haven’t already — raising it proactively if she doesn’t — and tell her you’re mortified and nothing like this will ever happen again. I’d want to hear that in her shoes. In doing that, you’ll also get a better sense of where she stands on all of this. That conversation might make it clear that she considers it handled and in the past, or it might make it clear that she doesn’t — but either way, it’ll be a helpful discussion to have.

In answer to your question about whether it would have been better to keep the card open and just not use it, I don’t think it really matters one way or the other. If anything, as your boss I’d probably prefer that you chose to close it so it didn’t remain something that I’d have to check periodically.

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