should I tell people at the company we acquired what they’re in for, interviewer didn’t ask me any questions, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I tell people at the company we just acquired what they’re in for?

A few years ago, I started at a small company which within a year of me joining was acquired by a massive international company based on the opposite coast. At the time, my boss and the now (forcibly) retired owner were told that we would still be able to be largely independent, with more support for the work we do currently.

It wasn’t until all the paperwork was signed, sealed, and delivered that everyone realized this couldn’t be further from the truth. Staff and offices we were promised wouldn’t be touched have been gutted. Our workload has at least doubled, but without any additional support. Corporate leadership is wildly out of touch and mismanaged, and because they decided to grow “inorganically” (aka, buying up every company in even slightly adjacent fields), the internal structure is a mess. Nothing can get done in HR or Accounting without going through the corporate office, which has extensive turnover, making simple tasks like sending out a check or updating a staff member’s insurance take at least 2-3 weeks (or it’s just forgotten about entirely). It. Is. A. MESS.

Everyone is overworked, everything is disorganized, and the only solutions corporate has come up with seem to be (1) ending work from home accommodations (which almost resulted in a mutiny within the corporate office itself) and (2) ACQUIRE MORE COMPANIES!

We just acquired another company of about 200 people in the same city my office is located in. Corporate basically shoved our legacy team into the newly purchased company’s office and volun-told my boss to “guide” the new team through the acquisition process since we “know the ropes.”

My boss and I are at a loss. This team has been told all the same fairytales we heard when we were acquired. They do not know that their lovely support staff will likely be cut in the next 1-2 years. They do not know that corporate will make those cuts without anyone set up to take over their workload, and anyone left over will be forced to just take it on themselves. They do not know that corporate will make sweeping decisions at the drop of a hat without doing due diligence.

Aside from just bailing out and finding a new job (which I have been working on), do you have any advice on how best to approach this with the new team? Do we let them figure out the worst of it on their own? For now, my boss and I have decided if we’re asked direct questions by the new team, we will be as honest as possible without sharing too much as to scare them. But this feels disingenuous and eventually the cat’s going to come tumbling out of the bag, especially since we’re supposed to be the ones “guiding” them.

Oh gosh, tell them.

When you do it, be honest without editorializing. So it’s not, “Corporate is a mess, this is a disaster, they are out of their gourds.” It’s, “This is what our experience has been, and the challenges have been XYZ” — with the facts delivered dryly and matter-of-factly. They’re going to be able to figure out the “this is a disaster” part on their own.

2. Interviewer didn’t ask me any questions

I recently interviewed for a job. Once we started the interview, he asked me why I was leaving my current job, and after I answered, he started talking about what the job entails, the benefits, etc., but did not ask me another question till the end, asking if I had any questions for him. After that, he said he had a couple more interviews, but he would follow up in two weeks with an offer. It wasn’t until after I left that I was a little confused because this all happened in the span of 20 minutes. I haven’t done many interviews, but is this normal interview behavior?

It’s the behavior of a bad interviewer — someone who doesn’t know how to evaluate candidates and instead is going based on vibe. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad place to work (although if they’ve assembled a good staff, it’ll be more by accident than intentional design) but it’s a flag to, if you get an offer, slow down and make sure you’ve asked enough to (a) determine what it would actually be like to work there and (b) weigh whether if you’d actually be good at the work you’re being offered, since the interviewer didn’t do that part himself.

Related:
can you ask an interviewer to stop talking so much?

3. Hard skills versus soft skills in a movie

Over the weekend, I saw the new Sam Raimi movie “Send Help” with Dylan O’Brien and Rachel McAdams. Without giving away too much about the movie for those who want to see it, in an early scene that sets up the rest of the movie, Dylan’s character inherits a company after his dad’s death and, although Rachel was promised a VP spot by his father after working at the company for seven years, he gives the VP spot to his frat brother who was only at the company for six months. When she confronts him about it, he tells her that she lacks the people skills to become a VP and that the job also requires the ability to play golf.

And the thing is, watching the movie, he wasn’t totally wrong? Her character was very good at her job in strategy and planning but lacks any and all soft skills. She has no friends at work, she’s awkward, she’s passive, and she doesn’t read social cues well. If his father had really felt strongly about the promotion, he should have had her boss work with her to train her in those skills. Because a VP does need those skills. Right? I felt like he was a jerk and went about it all wrong, but wasn’t totally off the mark. I don’t work in business, but I am middle management in my job and did not have soft skills naturally and had to work on them, and am still working on them (it’s hard when they are not your natural state — I just want to hide out in my office and avoid confrontation as a norm) but it can be done if you want the job enough. I was just interested in your take.

With the caveat that I haven’t seen the movie and don’t know anything about it so I’m just basing this on what you’ve written here: yes. Most upper management positions require people skills, leadership positions definitely do, and anything dealing with clients definitely does. That doesn’t mean the frat brother was the right choice either (maybe he was, I have no idea) and clearly the movie sounds interested in setting up a dichotomy between “highly qualified woman without social flash” and “unqualified man who knows how to schmooze,” but it’s definitely true that in many jobs, people skills are an important piece of the qualifications, not just an optional nice-to-have bonus.

4. Job wants reference forms completed before you even interview

My spouse got called for an interview for a state government job. For the interview, he’s required to bring forms completed by his references, as well as employer verification forms filled out by his former and current employers.

This seems disrespectful of applicants and their contacts. My spouse hasn’t even spoken with the hiring manager yet and isn’t even certain he wants the job. Do you think it’s a bad sign?

Government jobs have their own extremely rigid and often nonsensical bureaucracy. If that kind of thing is going to drive him bananas, it’s a bad sign in the sense of “this is a taste of what working with a large and rigid bureaucracy will be like,” but you shouldn’t read much more than that into it.

5. How do I tell my boss I have cancer?

I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I haven’t even figured out my next steps yet, but I know that we’ll have to involve notifying my work. There’s going to be surgery, possibly follow-up treatments, the works.

What is the best way to tell my boss without completely undermining myself or coming across as a liability to the company? I’d love to trust that I’ll be treated fairly, but I cannot lose my job in my health insurance now.

You don’t need to share anything you’re not comfortable sharing. If you’d prefer, you can just say, “I have a medical situation that I’m going to be dealing with over the coming months and I’m going to need some time off for surgery and follow-ups. I’ll let you know the details as I get them, but wanted to give you a heads-up that it’s coming.”

Your boss will probably express concern and you can respond to that with something simple like, “Thank you, I appreciate it and I’ll keep you posted.”

For what it’s worth, no good company will see you as a liability for having breast cancer, and it would be illegal for them to fire you for being sick (although realistically, that does happen to people so I get why you’re worried). I would say to look at what you know of your company and your boss and how they operate as you decide what you’re comfortable sharing.

Sending you good thoughts for a good outcome!

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