Why ‘no’ is sometimes the best ‘yes’

[ResidentialBusiness]

For years, I thought saying yes was the key to success. Yes, to my parents’ dream of me becoming a doctor. Yes, to the long hours in medical school. Yes, to a career that others admired, even as I felt a growing sense of unease.

I loved medicine’s ability to make a difference in people’s lives, but deep down, I had questions: Did I truly want to be a doctor, or was I fulfilling the role others expected of me? Every yes felt like another step away from myself.

One pivotal moment came while I was working in a hospital in the Cook Islands. I treated patients with heart failure so advanced that basic mobility was a struggle. What struck me most wasn’t the lack of resources; it was the sense of familiarity. Even in the U.K.’s world-class healthcare system, I had seen patients left behind—ignored, dismissed, or underserved. These moments clarified what I valued most: fairness, justice, and confronting systemic inequality.

When I returned to work as a junior doctor in Edinburgh, it became clear that the questions driving me weren’t about treating symptoms—they were about the systems perpetuating inequity. I eventually said no to medicine, not because I didn’t care, but because I cared deeply.

Saying no isn’t rejection—it’s redirection. It’s about aligning your time and energy with your values and goals. But in practice, saying no can be daunting—especially in professional environments where compliance often feels safer than resistance.

I have learned, however, that the ability to say no is a skill. 

Turn down projects that stretch you too thin 

Leaders and professionals often overcommit, risking burnout and lower-quality work. A former student of mine, a project manager, learned this the hard way. After saying yes to an unrealistic timeline, the team missed deadlines, and relationships suffered. The next time a client proposed an impossible deadline, she said, “To meet your goals, we’d need more time to maintain quality. Can we extend the timeline or adjust deliverables?” The result? The client agreed, and the team delivered excellent work, strengthening trust.

Set boundaries without alienating others 

A marketing executive I know faced constant interruptions from colleagues seeking her input. Instead of shutting them down, she framed her no around her priorities: “I want to give you my full attention, but I’m focused on completing this project right now. Can we schedule a time to discuss this later?” By acknowledging their needs while protecting her time, she maintained strong relationships without compromising her priorities.

Say ‘no’ to preserve long-term vision

Patagonia’s decision to say no to the fast-fashion model is a famous example. By focusing on sustainability and durability, the company aligned its business practices with its values. This defiant stance reshaped the outdoor apparel industry and built a loyal customer base.

One reason saying no feels so difficult is the fear of resistance or misunderstanding. People may question your decision or even push back. That’s why preparation matters. Before entering these conversations, get clear on your reasons and rehearse how you’ll articulate them. If you’re declining a promotion, for example, you could say, “I’m incredibly grateful for this opportunity, but I’ve reflected on my priorities and realized this role doesn’t align with the path I see for myself. I’d love to contribute in ways that better match my strengths and long-term goals.” Clarity and confidence can help diffuse resistance and ensure your no is respected.

Saying no isn’t about being contrarian or uncooperative. It’s about alignment—with yourself, your values, and the future you want to create. Even at the highest levels of leadership, the importance of focus and clarity is critical. In a recent strategy meeting, Google CEO Sundar Pichai emphasized the company’s biggest priority for 2025: simplifying work and scaling key initiatives like their AI-powered Gemini app. He urged employees to “internalize the urgency of this moment” and to prioritize focus by saying no to distractions. This kind of intentional decision-making isn’t just about efficiency—it’s about achieving excellence by staying aligned with core goals.

When saying no:

• Reframe no as alignment, not rejection. A well-chosen no isn’t about shutting down an opportunity—it’s about making space for the right ones.
• Be transparent and tie your no to shared goals or values. When people understand your reasoning, they are more likely to respect your decision.
• Remember that no isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of a better path. The discomfort of saying no is temporary, but its impact can last for years.

Looking back, I see that saying no to medicine wasn’t about closing a door—it was about opening the right one. That decision made room for a career aligned with my values, one where I could research, teach, and advocate for systemic change.

No isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of a path to greater alignment, purpose, and impact. Whether it’s a career decision, a project at work, or a personal boundary, learning to say no with clarity and intention is one of the most productive skills you can develop. And each time you do, you’re not just making a decision—you’re affirming who you are and what you stand for.

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