is my job bad enough that I should quit?

A reder writes:

Over the past few years, my responsibilities have grown well beyond my original job description. I now manage procurement end-to-end, track budgets, support multiple project managers, and draft reports. This expansion has happened informally — no title change, no pay adjustment, and no formal acknowledgement of the shift in scope.

What’s making it harder is that after four years in the role, my team lead has openly said they don’t really understand procurement. As a result, I often feel like I’m operating without informed oversight or support, yet I’m still accountable when something is questioned.

Recently, I attended what I thought was a general catch-up about a system transition. Instead, it became what felt like a performance-style discussion led by someone who isn’t my supervisor. I wasn’t given notice of the concerns beforehand. At one point, I was asked, “What do I tell the director — do I throw you under the bus?” which felt intimidating. I tried to explain workload pressures and the inherited manual systems I’m managing, but I felt talked over and dismissed.

There have also been repeated instances over time where colleagues have made belittling comments about my hours, leave, or workload. I’ve been publicly called names like “idiot” and “dickhead.” When I’ve been on leave or flex days, I’ve still been contacted and pressured about tasks.

I also experienced a serious medical event last year. While I was hospitalized, there were inquiries about when I’d return to work and whether my family could be contacted. Although some of it may have been framed as concern, it felt intrusive. Since returning, I’ve had comments suggesting some of my stroke-related difficulties were “just an excuse,” which has been distressing.

I’ve tried to resolve things informally. My manager acknowledged that one recent meeting didn’t go well and apologized, which I appreciated. HR has explained that bullying must involve repeated and unreasonable behavior. I’m not sure where the line is anymore.

Part of me wonders if this is just poor communication and a high-pressure environment. Another part feels increasingly resentful, overextended, and psychologically unsafe. I don’t want to be seen as compiling a case against colleagues, but I also don’t want to keep absorbing behavior that feels disrespectful.

How do I tell the difference between normal workplace conflict and bullying? How do I address scope creep and role ambiguity when my manager doesn’t fully understand the function I’m performing? And at what point do you decide a workplace isn’t likely to change?

This workplace sucks and you should get out.

It doesn’t matter whether it meets a specific definition of bullying or not. People there are horrible to you! They call you names (!), belittle you, don’t respect your time off, and implied your stroke was “an excuse” (!!). None of that is okay.

Some of this on its own might be frustrating but not outrageous, like your team lead’s lack of understanding of what you do. Hell, maybe that meeting where someone asked what to tell the director about your work was legitimate; I don’t have enough context to say. But there are enough other things here that are wildly unacceptable — see the paragraph above — that they overshadow that stuff anyway.

On top of that, your job has expanded dramatically and your pay hasn’t budged in four years.

When you ask, “How do I tell the difference between normal workplace conflict and bullying?” I think you’re asking, “How do I know if this is worth leaving over or not?” And the answer is: it’s worth leaving over. These people are jerks. And it isn’t one person. Multiple different employees have been awful to you. HR isn’t willing to intervene (and for some reason is stuck on “bullying,” when the label doesn’t matter as much as the specifics of what has been happening). On top of all of it, you’re being underpaid.

You should get out.

The post is my job bad enough that I should quit? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

View the full article