people feel passionately about physically handing out their resumes, a competing candidate made an inappropriate comment, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Why do people feel so passionate about physically handing out their resume?

Why do people get so defensive over the concept of physically handing out resumes?

I was at my off-season part-time retail job, and a young man came in with a stack of resumes; it was obvious that his mom was sitting out front in the truck, driving him around to all of the businesses in the plaza.

After I had directed him to apply online, where, like any other company in 2026, we do all of our hiring, I said to my coworker, “I really wish people wouldn’t do that. Like, just tell me you’re out of touch.”

She said, “Do what?”

I replied, “Drive their kid around and make them hand out resumes in person. Nobody wants that anymore.”

I won’t get into a blow-by-blow, but my (much younger! she’s technically Gen Z!) coworker immediately dug her heels in and told me, “First impressions are important!” I told her that experts disagreed, and she wouldn’t hear it! Every point I brought up, she had a counter to; I finally had to walk away from the discussion because I could not get her to even consider what I was saying.

Why are people still so dead-set on defending this when it objectively doesn’t work? Doubly so in corporate retail! Is somebody telling them that this is a good idea? I’m so confused! And, I guess, how do I actually convince friends that this is a bad idea before they try it for themselves, if I even can?

I wish I knew! If I had to guess, I’d say it’s a combination of not having enough hiring experience to know it’s a bad idea but they heard it recommended at some point and it got lodged in their head as The Way. Maybe she’s even done it herself or recommended that other people do it, which has a way of making people want to dig in their heels to defend their own actions/advice.

As for how to convince friends it’s a bad idea, you don’t need to take it upon yourself to convince them! You can certainly share what you’re learned and what your own experience has been — and if the person seems skeptical or you’re seeing them do things that are hurting their own chances you could send them a few links that might change their thinking — but ultimately it’s not really your job to change their thinking. Offer your perspective and talk about why you’ve come to it, but from there it’s up to them. And really, life will set them straight eventually because if they try it, they’re likely to see it doesn’t work. I’m more concerned if it’s someone giving that advice to impressionable others (like a career center telling students to do it), but that’s a whole different issue.

Related:
is showing up in person with a resume actually a thing now?

2. A competing candidate made a racially-tinged comment in the reception area — should I tell someone?

My job is a clerical role that includes receptionist duties. I work on a large healthcare campus in a non-patient facing area, so most often it’s vendor reps or interviewees in our reception area.

Interviewees are often early, and my desk faces the reception area. I like being the friendly face that puts people at ease when they arrive – I welcome them to sit, direct them to the nearest restroom if asked, let them know that their interviewer is expecting them, etc. I make small talk if they want to nervous-chatter, avoid phone conversations distracting interviewees who want to prepare quietly, and generally try to be the best introduction they could have to my workplace.

I am currently in the running for a potential promotion within my office. That said, I’m in the great position of already being in a job I like. This isn’t do-or-die for me.

Interviews have started, which puts me in the position of greeting people who are competing with me for the role. While I’d love the promotion, any of these people might also be great candidates. I could end up working with them very closely, so it’s in my best interest to be friendly and helpful as I am with every other candidate for every other position.

One candidate was of the nervous-chatter variety, so I was participating in some light small talk about the history of our campus. The candidate then surprised me by making a comment along the lines of, “Of course we keep the building locked, in this neighborhood.” Both the interviewee and I are white. The neighborhood where we work is historically red-lined and known to have a majority black population. While he may have not meant the comment to highlight that, I was so uncomfortable!

If I weren’t in the competition for this job, I would feel comfortable mentioning to a member of the interview panel that the comment had been made, and letting them decide if it had any weight. However, as a competing candidate I don’t want to muddy the waters! I’m really torn. Do I have a responsibility to mention the comment, or should I let the hiring path take its course without that info?

You should mention it just like you would if you weren’t interviewing for the job yourself. The key is to be matter-of-fact about it — your tone shouldn’t be gossipy or “obviously this person should be out of the running,” just “this struck me as off and I thought I should pass it along.” Hell, if it makes you more comfortable, you can even say, “I feel odd passing this along since I’m also interviewing for the role, but I’d feel odder not saying anything about it.”

3. I work remotely and am moving — do I have to tell my company beforehand?

My company, based on the east coast, has a hybrid work policy at headquarters, but also has a team of fully remote service technicians who visit locations across the country.

I was a service technician on the west coast for many years, but in 2024 I was called by HR and asked to immediately take on a new urgent role with a team based at our HQ. I have been working with that team, fully remote, since then. All of my performance reviews have been very good, and my boss has no concerns with this arrangement or my ability to deliver quality projects on-time.

Our senior executives grudgingly allowed hybrid work for the HQ team post-Covid but their preference for full return to office is clear. Additionally, they are actively reducing head count, not by layoffs but by not filling many roles that become vacant.

My spouse has just received a fantastic promotion that requires us to move to another different state. I already work remotely so there is no material impact on my ability to do my job, and my company already has employees in that state so there isn’t an issue there.

I would like to wait until the move is complete before letting them know I’ve moved states so that we can obtain a mortgage, figure out healthcare, and get settled. Given our senior team’s dislike of remote work and attempts to downsize, I am concerned that if I tell my company we are moving, I will be pushed out and end up jobless while we are trying to get organized in our new state. Am I obligated to tell them before we move, or can I wait until after?

I’m not sure they’ll take it as impetus to get rid of you since you’re already fully remote. But you really should tell your boss ahead of time anyway in case there’s some issue you’re not foreseeing, and because they’re legally obligated to follow the employment laws of the state you’re working in, as well as comply with that state’s payroll laws (which, for example, can mean paying into the new state’s workers comp fund from your first day of work there).

Also, there’s a pretty big risk that your boss isn’t going to like that you just took it upon yourself to change your work location and didn’t bother to mention it until after the fact, given the legal implications for them. That’s something that can make employers think you’re really not on the same page as them about how remote work does and doesn’t work and can make them question your judgment more broadly. It’s possible that you have a boss who won’t care, but I’d be nervous about relying on that.

(Also, this doesn’t apply in your case since your company already has employees in the state you’re moving to, but a note for readers that if they didn’t, that could be a very big deal.)

4. International Women’s Day: what not to do

In case you put together a post on companies flubbing International Women’s Day, please know that my day started with an email about “inclusive language” (the example for which was along the lines of “what’s with all the crying?”), which was followed up by an announcement that, in celebration of IWD, the company had scheduled a workshop for women (and only women … and their friends who might be interested?) on fertility. I am vibrating with righteous female rage.

W. T. F.

I missed it this year but good lord we need to discuss it next year, and we will.

To keep us going this year, though, let’s remember the Women’s History Month event at one company called “Recognizing Women through the Voices of Men” … as well as the hero who was asked to bring a cake to work for International Women’s Day, so brought cake with a large chunk already cut out and a note stuck on it about the pay gap.

5. How to tell a recruiter I’m taking a different offer

I’m in my first hiring cycle after school. I used a couple different recruiters. One has pushed me really far, and I’ve ended up with two offers (and she’s been great). However, at the last minute I interviewed and got an offer from another recruiter. I definitely want to take this third offer instead. How do I communicate professionally with the first recruiter that I’m not taking either offer?

“After a lot of thought, I’ve decided to go with a different offer, but I really appreciate how (helpful/responsive/supportive/fill in the blank) you’ve been throughout this process and I hope we might work together again in the future.”

Candidates accepting a different offer is a completely normal, mundane part of recruiting. It won’t be a huge deal (unless you’ve been telling her things all along like “if I’m offered X, I’d definitely accept it” — and even then this stuff happens).

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